I’ve decided that all bats fall somewhere on this horrid little graph I’ve devised. Here are some prime examples of the various Creature Varieties found in nature.

Please look at my stupid boy

How to clear your sinuses with a vibrator

WAIT, WHAT?

It’s same basic principle as shaking a ketchup bottle or an earthquake triggering a mudslide.  You’re going to use vibration to turn a semi solid into a liquid.

If decongestants or antihistamines aren’t cutting it (or you can’t take them) and its too blocked for neti pot to get through, you can try using a vibrator.  

You’ll need:

Take off any facial jewelry or earrings.

Make sure your device is CLEAN. Now wrap it up.  You can use either a thinner wrapping or the washcloth. you may want both.

Turn it on. Open your mouth, and start by applying at point of jaw,below ear.  Now close your mouth and hold teeth together. If too intense, adjust setting OR wrap in another layer of washcloth.  Now run slowly along the grove behind ear, running to jawline. This MAY make your ears pop if they’re clogged. adjust speed/wrapping again if this seems too intense.

Now do the facial sinuses over eyes.  Go  slowly along forehead, above eyebrows, moving in towards nose. do both sides. again, adjust if it seems too intense

Now to the main event.  Have tissues handy! Put next to ear, by tragus and then slowly move along and slightly underneath the cheek bone, towards the nose. gently. don’t press hard.  Make sure NOT to go above the cheek bone and into the orbit of the eye. Go slowly along until you’re actually touching nose, then hold there for a few seconds.  Repeat and do other side.  

The last part tends to make me personally sneeze and then everything runs like mad. Blow nose and repeat until you feel like you’ve got everything flowing. 

Depending on what part was actually blocked and how your sinuses are tilted, it MAY run down back of throat instead of coming out nose. Gargle to clear out anything that may have gone down back.

If you like neti pots, you may want to follow up with the neti pot now that there’s a path for it to drain through.  

And make sure to clean up your tools afterward!  either throw out wrapping (if temporary) or throw it direct in the wash and then clean off your device.

Troubleshooting:

i physically cannot stop watching this

alright im gonna say it :/  big and defined noses are extremely fucking good and can easily center facial shape and add interest to a face the way a button nose cannot. and if you do not agree you are firstly my enemy and secondly a coward 

one eye two noses, cyclopses have the nose of a bloodhound and another, different bloodhound

hey you know what, when youre right youre right

it’s beautiful

WHOA WAIT I WAS HISTORICALLY RIGHT

Some scientists suspect that the origin of the cyclops myths came about because of elephant skulls, which are vaguely human in shape but with a honking big hole in the middle for the trunk but easily mistakable for an eye socket without any flesh

OMG

i wanna make an appreciation post of sorts for all my big nose hunnies and fellas and anyone in between. i’ve never in my life posted a side view of myself but i felt like it today, unfiltered, no angles, just me. and i encourage y'all to try it whether your nose is wide or hooked or humped or bumped. it’s cute as hell and it’s perfect for your cute face.

@crpl-pnk

I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND

OH MY GOD

Rare Picture of an early Egyptian Sphinx before their noses were blown off.

Now I know why their noises were blown off 😶

Y'all never knew they did this

Wow, these people will do the absolute most to claim something that’s not theirs. And in the end, still fail. Because, without the noses, you can still tell they’re black.

Wow

Their noses have been replaced with skinny ones. Please google the video of the refurb. A white professor is the one who pointed it out to me…

Yooooooou’ve gooooooooot tooooooo beeeeeeeeeeeeee kidddiiiiinnnng meeeeeeeeeeee

The anti-Blackness is real…

powerful than words

#Art (via HappyToast)

snorp

goblins

one eye two noses, cyclopses have the nose of a bloodhound and another, different bloodhound

hey you know what, when youre right youre right

it’s beautiful

one eye two noses, cyclopses have the nose of a bloodhound and another, different bloodhound

hey you know what, when youre right youre right

it's beautiful

#Art (via HappyToast)

snorp

so this guy followed me yesterday after I posted some selfies and then this happened. At first I just wanted to say ‘anyway men are awful’ but I figured I might help especially younger female followers identify a douchebag when he starts a seemingly harmless, friendly conversation so let’s go through it shall we

First off, I have a big nose. Growing up I was very insecure about it but I’ve learned to not care about it now. Fact is it is something that is generally considered unattractive and this dude knows it. So he compliments me on something that he thinks I am insecure about but doesn’t get the expected reaction of ‘omg noooo it’s so ugly, thank you!!!!!!!!’ 

so he keeps digging: ‘do others compliment it?’ and ‘what do you think of it?’ He was waiting for me to confess that I’ve been insulted or laughed at because of it and that I cry myself to sleep every night. So he can be the one guy to find me attractive despite my tragic fate.

He picked a feature of my face that is not conventionally attractive, counting on my low self-esteem so I would be grateful and he’d prove that he’s ‘not like all the other guys’

and as soon as I made it clear I don’t have vulnerability to exploit he blocked me lmao

TL;DR men will use your insecurities so don’t give them the opportunity and don’t open up to them

This is actually really important, I’ve experienced this kind of thing many times and it’s only in the last few years that I know what these men are doing.

It seems harmless but in reality this is insidious, manipulative and devious. 

i wanna make an appreciation post of sorts for all my big nose hunnies and fellas and anyone in between. i’ve never in my life posted a side view of myself but i felt like it today, unfiltered, no angles, just me. and i encourage y'all to try it whether your nose is wide or hooked or humped or bumped. it’s cute as hell and it’s perfect for your cute face.

@crpl-pnk