ultralaser

sandwich alignment chart

where does “a head of lettuce is a sandwich” fit into this

i reject the premise on the basis that the principle of a sandwich is that it is one thing (usually bread) wrapped around a second thing (usually not bread). a thing wrapped around itself is, to my mind, inherently not a sandwich (even if the idea of a naturally occuring sandwich pleases me immensely).

so a head of lettuce would actually just be a salad

This is the cutest thing ive ever seen

It’s the brilliant note of outrage right at the end there that really sells this letter.

“The price of lettuce is not insignificant here.”