ultralaser

— Historically, men translated the Odyssey. Here’s what happened when a woman took the job.

recently discovered male historians are still super mad at her for this translation, so, good tbh

No.

yes

YES

This is the language equivalent of King Solomon suggesting cutting the baby in half.

howdy!

edit: of course they said howdy back!

its payment for every weeb who goes to japan and thinks anime is real

Actual encounters I had while in Japan:

- the exact one in the video multiple times

-a little old lady who literally followed me for two blocks excitedly babbling about how she had never seen anyone with such big boobs in her entire life and did not think anything over a d cup was actually a thing that existed and did all Americans have big boobs? And if so how did we find bras that fit? I was of course uncomfortable talking about my boobs with an absolute stranger so I did my best to pretend I didn’t understand Japanese very well. This only encouraged her to start MIMING her words while she spoke.

- a cultist who explained to me in broken English that George Washington had secretly been a member of her cult and that’s why I should totally join it (the cult in question was founded less than forty years ago and believes this one lady in Korea is the second coming of Jesus)

-a man who absolutely lost it and went positively giddy with excitement when he found out I was from Texas, proceeded to ask me many questions about Texas in surprisingly good English

-a fellow student who, upon hearing me mention that I had tried natto and enjoyed it, immediately assumed I didn’t have a very good grasp of Japanese and patiently explained to me that “suki” was not in fact the word for “hate”

-a lady who got excited and started talking to me way above my comprehension level in Japanese when she saw I had been reading the information plaques in a local museum with few problems. I managed to communicate to her that I was an exchange student but honestly I did not catch most of that conversation

-a terrifying phone call where I had to convey to a guy who spoke no English that I had seen his missing cat

this tiktok creator has a lot of great and funny stories abt his time in japan but my absolute favorite hsi him detailing a time he was standing outside at night eating spagetti and a very drunk japanese man saw him, stopped in place, held his eyelids fully open and said something to the degree of "me american, me like spaghetti" and then walked off

This explains so much about why 20 somethings are just unable to read to any level of complexity beyond a tweet. The miserable failure of US pedagogy

They didn’t teach children phonics for TWENTY YEARS because they just hoped this “balanced literacy” bs would magically work out???

this still kills me. 20 years. that’s nearly every public school gen z kid in the US

There’s a really good five-part podcast series about this that recently came out from American Public Media called Sold a Story: How Teaching Kids to Read Went so Wrong. It does a great job of explaining this issue and goes into the political situation and profit motives that kept balanced literacy going for so long even when there was, this can’t be emphasized enough, *zero research* to back it up.

One of my personal big takeways from listening to this was the danger of turning facets of education policy into politicized issues along left/right lines–according to this podcast one of the reasons for why phonics didn’t catch on earlier is because it was being promoted by the second Bush administration, which led to teachers unions and other left-of-center people to be suspicious of it. I think that’s really unfortunate and sadly we saw that same dynamic play out during the pandemic, when in so many school districts how to handle public education became a culture war battle more than anything else.

Obviously everything is political in some way and it’s always worth analyzing who is promoting which ideas–but I think when aspects of public health/science/medicine/education become polarized we all lose out because the issue becomes so much harder to analyze on their merits. And it’s especially awful when the people most impacted are children who are still developing the basic skills needed to think critically for themselves.

oh that sounds worth a listen

I’m fucking gobsmacked. Firstly, here’s the link to the full article for anybody who wants to read the entire thing, or can’t view the image text:

Secondly, I’m just… is this not basically the gist of the scam in The Music Man? Y'know, where Harold Hill—who can’t play of note of music—passes himself off as a band leader, telling everyone he has a “revolutionary new method called The Think System where you don’t bother with notes,” and says ““If you want to play the Minuet in G, think the Minuet in G”? Like sure, context is helpful for reading, but having it be the basis is… WILD. I’m so sorry Gen Z 😭

Guys. Guys is this not how you learned to read. Bc this is how I learned to read.

NO THIS IS NOT HOW WE LEARNED TO READ WHAT THE FUCK

In the rest of the English-speaking world, children are taught to read phonically. There are multiple systems for this, from “winging it based on usage” to structured, tiered systems like Jolly Phonics. They’re taught the sounds that letters make, then the sounds that dipthongs and unusual combinations (like “magic E vowels”) make, and they are taught how to string the sounds together to sound out the words. Common words with unusual spellings/rules (or just really common words that the kid needs to know before they know the relevant rules, like “the” and “should”) are taught as “sight words” and expected to be memorised rote (although research suggests that children don’t memorise these words, but memorise whatever the tricky part is as an exception and read them normally, by phonically sounding them out in their head). This is so that children can get to reading common sentences and simple stories as quickly as possible, providing them with valuable practice and motivation.

As children get practice reading over many years, the most common words get memorised via repetition, and new words are sounded out and memorised if they come up enough. (This is why it’s common for people who read more than they watch tv/converse to mispronounce words for many years – I was over 20 before I knew the correct pronunciation of ‘misled’ or ‘rendezvous’.)

We certainly weren’t taught to check the first letter and then guess based on vibes. If you read like that then there’s no point in the rest of the word being written down. How would you learn new words and advance your skill that way?

Well, this explains a lot about how people in my notes process my posts.

I was taught to read using Saxon Phonics, which teaches you how to associate letters with sounds, chunk words into phonetic segments, and then string them together.

I can read, write, and speak much better than most of my peers, and I’m sure this is why. I actually learned how to extract information from letters, rather than trying to recognize each word as a symbol for a concept. Phonics are essential for reading comprehension.

Louder for the bigots-it's not about the damn language

not to be that guy but girls will read lemony snicket’s love letter to end all love letters ONCE and then have strange ideas abt romance forever

this did something to my brain

the girls are onto something tbh

Nurning annintant, obviously

By your nide

what

"Imagise how good your life would be if you had a 26yo nurning annintant by your nide," I guess.

it's always a good day to complain about English speakers

Important addition: Maria Skłodowska-Curie was born during partitions, which means Poland didn’t exist, which means her insistence that she was Polish was a significant act of defiance against the occupation, which means that you should respect that instead of arguing that ‘well she had French citizenship’. She couldn’t have Polish citizenship despite being Polish, that’s kinda the point she was making by keeping her maiden name and naming a chemical element she discovered ‘Polonium’ .

HOW TO PRONOUNCE: Skłodowska

L with a dash through it (ł) makes a “W” sound. and W makes a “V” sound.

skwo-DOV-ska

thank you for the pronunciation guide!

Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

I have been waiting for this post all my life.

They are indeed purple, But one thing you’ve missed: The concept of “purple” Didn’t always exist.

Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his “wine-dark sea.”

A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold.

So roses are red. Violets once were called blue. I’m hugely pedantic But what else is new?

My friend you’re not wrong About Homer’s wine-ey sea! Colours are a matter Of cultural contingency;

Words are in flux And meanings they drift But the word purple You’ve given short shrift.

The concept of purple, My friends, is old And refers to a pigment once precious as gold.

By crushing up molluscs From the wine-dark sea You make a dye: Imperial decree

Meant that in Rome, to wear purpura was a privilege reserved

For only the emperor!

The word ‘purple’, for clothes so fancy, Entered English By the ninth century

.

Why then are voilets Not purple in song? The dye from this mollusc, known for so long

Is almost magenta; More red than blue. The concept of purple is old, and yet new.

The dye is red, So this might be true: Roses are purple And violets are blue

.

While this song makes me merry, Tyrian purple dyes many a hue From magenta to berry And a true purple too.

But fun as it is to watch this poetic race The answer is staring you right in the face: Roses are red and violets are blue Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.

Hirple - To limp or walk awkwardly

Cirple - An old Scots word for the hindquarters of a horse

“Roses are red, violets are purple,

My boner for you has caused me to hirple.”

…

DYING. I AM DYING.

Calling theshitpostcalligrapher! We need @theshitpostcalligrapher

@kiranovember u better buy this as a commission lmao

This post has evolved.

I am 100 percent all for every part of this thread. I have laughed loudly and long. Thank you, thou glorious purple-hirple rhyme.

I never expected it to take that turn … But I love it

When I am old

I will wear purple

(and then take it off

for that guy with the hirple)

this all 100x funnier now that the thread is full of a bunch of blue checkmarks

motherofmemes

No because it IS hot

Queen stuff

Can someone translate what she said 

“Oh really? YOU’RE going to teach me Russian? Well you better bring the vodka and caviar, *sweetheart*.” -Translation from @cripplepunk-sylveon

I love the way people’s voice changes when they switch languages.

This a legit thing. I speak Japanese at a noticeably higher pitch than I do English. Different intonation too.

Spanish I speak at the same pitch more or less but my tone and rhythm are different.

I'm gonna be thinking about this all day

If you deadname someone in the death note it kills you

In one of the Death Note live action movies (I think it was Light Up the New World), a man changes his name after harboring guilt about past crimes and trying to atone (not even answering to that name). He's only killed after his new name gets put in the book, since he shed his old name.

Man wasn't trans, but if the logic applied to him, logic should apply to trans people too!

This rule implies that birth names are not necessarily the names given to you at birth.

That means you can change your name or consider yourself to have a new name and the death note recognizes it.

Death Note is an ally.

Diversity win! this Death Note kills trans people but doesn’t deadname them!

I had to look this up to double check, but there is a rule that if the owner accidentally misspelled a person's name 4 times, that person is immune to the Death Note, but if the owner purposefully misspelled a person's name 4 tines, the owner will die.

So, theoretically, if the owner knew a trans person's deadname and knew their real name, but decided to be transphobic and wrote their deadname instead of their real name 4 times, then the owner would die.

my number one woman behavior is saying i’m fine with any pronouns and silently ranking people in my regard based on what they do with that information

This is George Costanza behavior

GEORGE, at a function: Pronouns? Oh, you know, anything. Anything fine. It’s the twenty-first century, right?

-Cut, establishing shot of Jerry’s apartment, bass riff.-

GEORGE: He/him, Jerry!

JERRY: No, they just him’d you?

GEORGE: HE. HIM! I gave them a BUFFET, and they went for plain white bread. Genders as far as the eye could see! Something with an X in it!

JERRY: The X ones are fun…

GEORGE: If they can’t appreciate a good xie or ey… Then that’s it. I’m swearing off pronouns for good. No more pronouns for George Costanza!

JERRY: No pronouns?

GEORGE: No pronouns.

JERRY: No-nouns?

GEORGE: No-nouns.

JERRY: Alright, well, if that’s what you want…

GEORGE: Oh, it is! I’m living the pronoun-free life, starting now. The buffet is CLOSED, Jerry. From here on out I am George and only George!

-George storms out of the apartment and into the hallway. Enter Elaine, baffled and unaware of the conversation that just took place.-

ELAINE: What’s his problem?

-Muffled screaming is heard from the hallway.-

Watching my toddler figure out how to language is fascinating. Yesterday we were stumped when he kept insisting there was a “Lego winner” behind his bookshelf - it turned out to be a little Lego trophy cup. Not knowing the word for “trophy”, he’d extrapolated a word for “thing you can win”. And then, just now, he held up his empty milk container and said, “Mummy? It’s not rubbish. It’s allowed to be a bottle.” - meaning, effectively, “I want this. Don’t throw it away.” But to an adult ear, there’s something quite lovely about “it’s allowed to be a bottle,” as if we’re acknowledging that the object is entitled to keep its title even in the absence of the original function.

Another good post to read for those writing small human characters. 

My son was about three when he came to me in the middle of the day and said, “Mommy, there’s a knight behind the bush.” I thought he meant a toy knight or something. So I follow him outside and he goes, “Listen. Do you hear it? It’s night behind the bush.” It was a cricket. A cricket was standing in the little patch of shade under the bush, chirping. So, my son saw this dark area with accompanying nighttime sounds and decided, okay, well, that is a night right there. Their brains are incredible.

My little bean knows she’s two, constantly saying proudly ‘I’m two!’ And the other day she saw this very frail old lady who looked one foot in the grave, pulled a face and said ‘oh shiiiit. She’s three.’ I almost screamed.

I live in Korea and have a lot of international friends, and the same is true with language barriers in adults. 

*Looking at a bowl of pears* “Can you please pass me the… apple’s friend?” 

Every now and then i stumble upon this post anf each time there are new additions in comments and reblogs and each time my heart melts a bit as i read through them. Faith in humanity restored. At least for now

me forgetting the word for “egg” in Arabic over dinner and complimenting the chef on the way she prepared “the son of the chicken”

Still haven’t lived down the time I wanted one of these

but what I actually asked for was “the hair thing with the teeth”

I wonder what we will sound like two years from now

i bet we pronounce it “wuh”