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#bumblebee – @ultralaser on Tumblr
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ultralaser

@ultralaser / ultralaser.tumblr.com

peak hatemail [ choosy moms choose gif ] long and prosper, baby
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Angela Basset is Shatter (Red) and Justin Theroux is Dropkick (Blue). They are the main villains of the Bumblebee Movie and they’re triple changers (car, robot, flying aircraft). I’m hoping they’re an iconic duo.

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ultralaser

update, yes they are

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transformers 2007 is on and WOW it does not hold up very well compared to bumblebee

improvements include no cleavage cam, a female lead, decepticons in different colors, autobots with a discernable plan, and (crucially) being able to tell what's happening in every action shot

more interestingly, aside from mikaela's cellphone and president w bush, there's really not a lot locking this movie into being set any later than like 96, and tbh the autobots and decepticons learning nothing useful about earth culture from the world wide web makes more sense if they were limited to using lycos to look up articles on microsoft encarta

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ultralaser

my transformers sequel pitch is bumblebee in the bronx, a 1989 set cyberpunk kung-fu parkour heist film directed by justin lin starring michelle yeoh, about bee stealing decepticon tech from a multinational

bumblebee and ideally ratchet (rad cop dad cop) are sent by optimus from the still under construction autobot city in monument valley to nyc to investigate reports from blaster (autobot satellite) that someone is selling decepticon tech on the black market, they get caught up in street races (ratchet hates that he is really good at it), join a gang of cool punk kids, and then team up with cyborg cop michelle yeoh, who has come over from hong kong to stop an ocp-esque us multinational from buying tech recovered by gangsters in the south china sea. the ceo is circuit breaker from the marvel comics, the decepticons are motormaster and the stunticons, final battle is powermaster optimus prime fighting menasor on liberty island

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ultralaser

aquaman and bumblebee (and wonder woman and the force awakens) are a a testament to removing cynical, edgelordy white men from being in charge of major media franchises, and putting literally anyone else in charge

charlie is LITERALLY the first female character in SIX transformers films not to be filmed with michael bay,c$ gross terry richardson porn gaze

that, should not be refreshing but here we are

anyways michael bay and zack snyder are done

booasaur said:

And Thor Ragnarok.

and into the spider verse

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aquaman and bumblebee (and wonder woman and the force awakens) are a a testament to removing cynical, edgelordy white men from being in charge of major media franchises, and putting literally anyone else in charge

charlie is LITERALLY the first female character in SIX transformers films not to be filmed with michael bay,c$ gross terry richardson porn gaze

that, should not be refreshing but here we are

anyways michael bay and zack snyder are done

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or, maybe not, sam witwicky is a girl now but, bee ends up in mikaela’s garage and not sam’s, bc after all megan fox affected the plot of tf123 more than he did anyways tldr tf1-5 said ‘boys! you can be the hero and fight alongside cool alien robots, oh and girls you can be the sexy underage girlfriend i guess’ and now bumblebee is saying 'girls you can be the rad hero who helps the autobots, boys you can be john cena’. it’s a much better premise on both directions.
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ultralaser

on a different tack (hashtag monster fuckers), transformers (2007) said ‘hey girls, how would you like be shia labeouf’s girlfriend?’

whereas bumblebee (2018) is saying, 'bumblebee is your boyfriend now’

like there is a scene in act one of revenge of the fallen (2009) where optimus prime asks sam to come testify on his behalf before congress bc ICE wants to deport all the autobots, and sam literally yells at OPTIMUS PRIME for inconveniencing him in his first week of college

meanwhile bumblebee has only ever been a loyal and faithful friend

don’t date a boy who has a car, date a boy who **is** a car

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I love that they tried to make the transformers movies those action packed blockbusters that lack any kind of emotion except anger to appeal to teenage boys who obviously don‘t want that in their movies

and they get reviews like:

And then Travis Knight comes around with a movie reminicient of the heart and charm of the g1 cartoon that fans had wanted for years

and the reviews go:

Bee you‘re doing amazing sweety!

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