Rating Disney Horse Designs

Cyril Proudbottom (The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad) 2/10 His vacant eyes and grotesque proportions disturb me

The Headless Horseman’s Horse (The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad) 7/10 Stunning. Very dramatic. Powerful look. 

Major (Cinderella) 4/10 Cyril Proudbottom’s more distinguished cousin. 

Samson (Sleeping Beauty)  3/10 There’s something not right about his face. I don’t trust him. 

Captain (One Hundred and One Dalmatians- movie)  5/10 A solid design. Friend shaped. 

Captain (I don’t know- some 101 Dalmatians tv show it looks like)  -30/10 Kill it now before it destroys us all. 

Frou-Frou (Aristocats)  7/10 A perfect genteel lady. Loses points for inconsistency in the animation. 

Philippe (Beauty and the Beast) 8/10 I’d trust this horse with my life

Achilles (The Hunchback of Notre Dame) 6/10 Respectable. Handsome. 

Snowball (The Hunchback of Notre Dame) 10/10 The DRAMA. The expression somewhere between “evil” and “hasn’t slept in 4 days”. The HAIR. Perfection. Exactly the type of horse I’ll ride when I turn evil.

Pegasus (Hercules) 6/10 A fun design, lot’s of personality. But kinda gives off Frat Boy energy. 

Baby Pegasus (Hercules) 11/10 I’d die for him. 

Khan (Mulan)  10/10 Look at those absurd proportions– the tiny legs and the huge barrel chest- amazing. 

Bullseye (Toy Story 2-4)  4/10 Is he cute? yes. But as someone who has owned many toy horses in her life, this is not a toy horse I would be pleased with. 

This Bullseye Toy I found looking for a movie picture of Bullseye -100/10 This thing IS cursed and we will probably all die for having seen it. But I’m taking you all down with me. 

Buck (Home on the Range)  2/10 No matter what picture, no matter what expression, you look at this horse and just KNOW he would be so unpleasant to talk to. 

Blessedly, there is no horse in Chicken Little. 

Destiny (Enchanted)  5/10 This is a Barbie horse and I swear I owned it. 

Maximus (Tangled) 7/10 A good design but too much dogness. 

Angus (Brave) 15/10 Everything that’s good in a horse. 

Sitron (Frozen) 11/10 He deserves so much better than Hans. Look at his kind eyes. This is a horse that will treat you right. This horse is the anti-Hans. 

Nokk (Frozen 2)  20/10 WATER HORSE WATER HORSE WATER HORSE WATER HORSE!

This Horse I Assume Bruno Stole (Encanto) 9/10 He’s only there very briefly and I can’t even find a decent picture but he’s a very nice horse. 

I had to look this up. I HAD TO. And Frollo’s horse IS named Snowball.

WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK.

the baby unicorns from fantasia (1940)

100/10, absolutely perfect in every way

the pegasus babies and their parents from fantasia (1940)

400/10, somehow even MORE perfect bc they are ALSO BABY BIRBS, we see they will grow up like cats from stubby little goofballs to graceful majestic angels

this one unicorn shielding the littler ones from the storm

1000/10, they are SO GOOD

the centuarettes from fantasia

7/10, extremely horny barbie girls, wbich is accurate to greek myths and teenagers generally, and they are historically accurate small horses, but they lose points for being caught in traditional gender roles and the fact they had slaves in the original cut, oops

the centaur bros from fantasia

11/10, himbo kings, extremely horny, gentlemanly courtship, did not own slaves, just perfect beefcake boys out with the lads

Illustration in Ladies Home Journal, June 1940

Tom Lovell

this looks like red has just this moment decided to murder grey’s husband

Steve Rogers did, in fact, realize that something was off when he saw the outline of the woman’s odd bra (a push-up bra, he would later learn), but being an officer and a gentleman, he said that it was the game that gave the future away.

#EXCUSE ME MA’AM BUT YOUR TITTIES ARE NOT CONES I’M CALLING BULLSHIT (via)

No, see, this scene is just amazing. The costume department deserves so many kudos for this, it’s unreal, especially given the fact that they pulled off Peggy pretty much flawlessly.

1) Her hair is completely wrong for the 40’s. No professional/working woman  would have her hair loose like that. Since they’re trying to pass this off as a military hospital, Steve would know that she would at least have her hair carefully pulled back, if maybe not in the elaborate coiffures that would have been popular.

2) Her tie? Too wide, too long. That’s a man’s tie, not a woman’s. They did, however, get the knot correct as far as I can see - that looks like a Windsor.

3) That. Bra. There is so much clashing between that bra and what Steve would expect (remember, he worked with a bunch of women for a long time) that it has to be intentional. She’s wearing a foam cup, which would have been unheard of back then. It’s also an exceptionally old or ill-fitting bra - why else can you see the tops of the cups? No woman would have been caught dead with misbehaving lingerie like that back then, and the soft satin cups of 40’s lingerie made it nearly impossible anyway. Her breasts are also sitting at a much lower angle than would be acceptable in the 40’s.

Look at his eyes. He knows by the time he gets to her hair that something is very, very wrong.

so what you are saying is S.H.E.I.L.D. has a super shitty costume division….

Nope, Nick Fury totally did this on purpose.

There’s no knowing what kind of condition Steve’s in, or what kind of person he really is, after decades of nostalgia blur the reality and the long years in the ice (after a plane crash and a shitload of radiation) do their work. (Pre-crash Steve is in lots of files, I’m sure. Nick Fury does not trust files.) So Fury instructs his people to build a stage, and makes sure that the right people put up some of the wrong cues.

Maybe the real Steve’s a dick, or just an above-average jock; maybe he had a knack for hanging out with real talent. Maybe he hit his head too hard on the landing and he’s not gonna be Captain anymore. On the flipside, if he really is smart, then putting him in a standard, modern hospital room and telling him the truth is going to have him clamming up and refusing to believe a goddamn thing he hears for a really long time.

The real question here is, how long it does it take for the man, the myth, the legend to notice? What does he do about it? How long does he wait to get his bearings, confirm his suspicions, and gather information before attempting busting out?

Turns out the answer’s about forty-five seconds.

Sometimes clever posts die a quiet death in the abyss of the unreblogged. Some clever posts get attention, get comments, get better. Then there’s this one which I’ve watched evolve into a thing of brilliance.

#his little jaw twitch well done chris ( @thewomaninthetanjacket )

Oh shit I hadn’t noticed that, god this just gets better and better.

I love everything about this.

"is this a test?"

"yes."

Anne and Margot Frank at the beach, 1940.

Colorization by me, original photo from @sixpenceee

This is amazing! Thank you.

I wow that’s amazing

Pride and Prejudice, 1940.

I have always loved the air of blithe horror about that tagline. Those beauties sure are hungry for love! So hungry. Too hungry. I say, THAT’s an awful lot of blood. Sweet god, man, you’d better stand up with them or run, RUN

Both my most favourite and my least favourite adaptation 

five lesbian vampires on a manhunt

MYSTIC COMICS #4 (Aug. 1940) "The Black Widow" Art by Harry Sahle Words by George Kapitan

WHOA

Can we talk about how Steve Rogers would probably fight to keep abortion legal and safe, because he saw how many people used to die back in the day because all abortions were illegal and unsafe and he knows if a person is pregnant and don’t want to be pregnant they will find a way to not be pregnant?

Can we talk about Steve Rogers telling off right wing politicians who say minimum wage isn’t supposed to be a living wage? Can we have him saying ‘No, I remember when it was instituted. It was supposed to be a living wage, senator.’

Can we talk about Steve Rogers supporting a raise in SNAP benefits, because he knows how it feels to go hungry?

Can we talk about Steve Rogers having problems with this country’s military industrial complex?

#ProgressiveFarLeftSteveRogers

What if Right Wing Politicians were using him as like a mascot before he was defrosted. Like Fox News has “What Would Captain America Do?” shirts and shit like that.

And then Steve wakes up “He’s just like, lol no don’t even say my name anymore.”

And then the daily show has an entire segment dedicated to the speech he gives and fox news’ reaction.

Steve Rogers is not the hyper-masculine ultra-patriotic gun-toting conservative puppet that Fox News wants him to be. 

The news media has a field day on both sides about how he reacted to fox news. 

Liberals and dems are cheering him on and talking about how great he is and having him speak on shows and conservatives and republicans are enraged and offended and yell about how he has betrayed them and try to get him to mess up in interviews and go “well no but you really mean this right?” and he blasts them down every time. 

I need this written 4000 years ago 

I feel uncomfortable turning Captain America into the subject of a highly partisan argument. He’s supposed to represent universal American values like democracy, liberty and freedom. He is a better representation of classical liberalism and founding principles than he is of either the Republican or Democratic parties. The idea of Captain America is to unite people, not divide them.

Theoretically yes. 

Non-theoretically, he was made to represent the 1940s liberal ideals. 

Non-theoretically, he was the son of a single mother who grew up in New York in poverty.

Non-theoretically, he was made by Jews to fight against the oppression they experienced at that time. 

Non-theoretically, Steve is leftist as fuck.

The entire plot of Cap2 is “Look at how fucked up the American Military Industrial Complex is! Look at it! We need to literally blow it up and tear it down. It can not be saved. It is corrupt to the core.” 

Like, that’s the entire plot of the movie. Three soldiers finding out how truly fucked up the American military industrial complex is and deciding to end that shit. It’s a two hour criticism of domestic surveillance and American military force framed as a peacekeeping measure littered with explosions. 

Steve is left of center as the day is long. 

Allow me to quote Steve Attewell about one of my favorites:

“Steve Rogers grew up poor in the Great Depression, the son of a single mother who insisted he stayed in school despite the trend of the time (his father died when he was a child; in some versions, his father is a brave WWI veteran, in others an alcoholic, either or both of which would be appropriate given what happened to WWI veterans in the Great Depression) and then orphaned in his late teens when his mother died of TB.[2] And he came of age in New York City at a time when the New Deal was in full swing, Fiorello LaGuardia was mayor, the American Labor Party was a major force in city politics, labor unions were on the move, the Abraham Lincoln Brigade was organizing to fight fascism in Spain in the name of the Popular Front, and a militant anti-racist movement was growing that equated segregation at home with Nazism abroad that will eventually feed into the “Double V” campaign.

Then he became a fine arts student. To be an artist in New York City in the 1930s was to be surrounded by the “Cultural Front.” We’re talking the WPA Arts and Theater Projects, Diego Rivera painting socialist murals in Rockefeller Center, Orson Welles turning Julius Caesar into an anti-fascist play and running an all-black Macbeth and “The Cradle Will Rock,” Paul Robeson was a major star, and so on. You couldn’t really be an artist and have escaped left-wing politics. And if a poor kid like Steve Rogers was going to college as a fine arts student, odds are very good that he was going to the City College of New York at a time when an 80% Jewish student body is organizing student trade unions, anti-fascist rallies, and the “New York Intellectuals” were busily debating Trotskyism vs. Stalinism vs. Norman Thomas Socialism vs. the New Deal in the dining halls and study carrels.

And this Steve Rogers, who’s been exposed to all of what New York City has to offer, becomes an explicit anti-fascist. In the fall of 1940, over a year before Pearl Harbor, he first volunteers to join the army to fight the Nazis specifically. This isn’t an apolitical patriotism forged out of a sense that the U.S has been attacked; rather, Steve Rogers had come to believe that Nazism posed an existential threat to the America he believed in. New Deal America.”

The whole article (he knocks on Mark Millar!):http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2013/10/steven-attewell-steve-rogers-isnt-just-any-hero

i wrote this character off for so long as like patriotic american bullshit (as my canadian socialization - lol). After seeing Winter Soldier, bisexualCap fanart and #ProgressiveFarLeftSteveRogers , he’s like one of my favorite characters.

This is my preferred version of that post though. 

Also, the idea that you can be generically for “liberty” or “freedom” or “democracy” without having an opinion on the practical implications of those things is one of the insidious problems America is facing right now. How can you be for democracy without having an opinion on laws designed to limit voters access to the polls? How can you be for liberty without having an opinion on unethical financing and mortgage practices that trap people in debt? How you can you be for freedom without having an opinion on a judicial and prison system that disproportionately incarcerates blacks and latinos?

What you are trying to argue is that people shouldn’t make Captain America sound too liberal because then some conservatives might look bad but the only ones making Republicans look un-american are Republicans. They’ve been trying to sell “We are so in favor of liberty! Look how much we love freedom!” while doing things entirely contrary to that and hoping no one notices - or else shouting down anyone who criticizes them as being un-american - for a long time and it remains bullshit. 

But you’re right, Captain America is supposed to be for what’s good and right about America so if what Captain America would say about this country right now sounds like he would side strongly with one side of that “highly partisan argument” maybe you ought to think about what that says for the side he’s not on.