Patient: What's it like to do colonoscopies?

Doctor: I've seen some shit.

You know, I feel bad for the Grinch.

If there was a song about me saying that I was a smelly asshole and no one liked me, I'd be a dick to everyone too.

Mascots are just furries on a payroll

"How often do you think about the Roman Empire"

Except with me it's "How often do you think about how 9/11 directly correlates with the Ellen Degeneres Show getting cancelled" and the answer is at least once a week.

Hi there,

I'm just seeing this, as I'm not on this site a lot anymore.

One thing I've found helpful is grounding techniques. In Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), there is a distress tolerance skill called TIPP:

T - Temperature

I - Intense Exercise/Imagery (exercise may not be good for you/possible for those with eating disorders or if you have difficulty doing so.

P - Paced Breathing

P - Paired Muscle Relaxation

For me, my temperature of preference is warmth, so I like to quell anxiety with hot showers, heating pads, warm milk, or even just wrapping myself up in a blanket. Some people like cold, so holding an ice cube, throwing ice, or taking cold showers can be helpful! Just remember to use it in moderation and don't hold the ice to the point of self-harm.

For the intense exercise, some jumping jacks, pushups or jogging in place can help because you will essentially wear yourself out. If you want imagery, picture peaceful scenes or your happy place. There are different imagery exercises that you can use, and plenty you can find online!

Paced Breathing is really simple! I tend to do boxed breathing - breathe in through your nose for four seconds, hold for four seconds, out for four, and hold for four. Repeat this again. The idea behind this is help regulate your breathing and heart rate.

Paired Muscle Relaxation can be done in multiple ways. One thing I like to do is squeezing my hands as hard as I can and then releasing. However you can do a body scan to notice, without moving, where your body is in terms of the universe and space. Imagine an energy that starts in your toes and slowly move up your body.

I also find meditations, music, and just finding a place to take space to be helpful. I also utilize distractions like watching a TV show, doing a craft activity or doing a puzzle to be helpful. Of course, I will also recommend therapy if this is accessible to you. I know it is hard finding a therapist, I only just recently found one myself.

Keep your chin up, and don't be afraid to reach out!

Now with autism, we've generally become familiar with one of the general "signs" being social ineptitude, with difficultly in social cues and interactions. But there's the different side of it that not as many people know about about, which is the hypervigilance in social interactions, which includes overthinking and overanalyzing facial expressions and being too in tune to the emotions of others.

So why don't we talk about the latter? Well it's because the DSM definition of autism was based off of males/young boys/those assigned male at birth.

The latter is found more often in people who are assigned female at birth.

Honestly, fuck HOAs

They're classist and ableist as fuck, and they allow for zero creativity.

Like, why wouldn't you want to live in a neighborhood with front yards and gardens that look like these?

Nature is beautiful. Let people have beautiful yards.

So I'm at the FedEx printing stuff out for my job, and a woman, noticing a bump under my coat, asks me "Oh, when are you due?"

I looked her dead in the eyes as I unzipped my coat to reveal...my fanny pack.

Ladies, don't take shit from a guy with an anime profile pic

Joke's on you, Tumblr, I got BIG, FAT, NON-BINARY NIPPLES.

"Yeah I'm on this new cleanse" I say as I chug an entire bottle of bleach

If being gay is a disease, then it would seem I finally have a legitimate reason to call out sick.

To all the people who have an opinion about sexual assault despite having never been assaulted -

Shut the fuck up.

Help my emergency vet bill!

My dog had to be rushed to the emergency vet at Tufts due to accidentally ingesting several 800mg ibuprofen tablets. He may need dialysis which would cost us up to $10,000.

Please please please spread this like crazy. My poor boy is only 3 years old, and he's my emotional support. I don't know what I'd do if I lost him. Please donate if you can, and reblog this post, DON'T JUST LIKE IT.

Something no doctor or therapist ever told me about depression is that you completely forget what it feels like to feel "normal." Or if the good mood you're feeling is even real. And you tell your therapist or your doctor or your psychiatrist that you forget what your so-called "normality" feels like, and they tell you, "Trust me, you'll know it when you feel it." And you start questioning yourself. Will I ever feel normal again? Did I ever feel normal? What now?

Next time you want to test a man's fragility, just tell him how much you like his pixie cut.