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Wrote the music for this one

Something I’ve been thinking about lately, and one of the things I miss most about cartoons and kid programming in the ‘90s, is the hosts that presented them. Whether it was a show with multiple segments, or a several hour marathon of some kind, something about characters talking to you and telling you what was coming up next made your viewing experience feel like an event, something special, something that you, yourself, were involved in and participating in, and not just passively consuming.

This is something that’s been missing for a long time, and something that’s much, much harder to do in the streaming era. Sure, we can still watch Tiny Toons on DVD, and “binge watch”, as we call it these days, an entire season of our favorite shows. But there’s less of sense of interaction, however artificial it may have been, and less of a sense of the shows being specifically selected for the audience in that particular moment in time. There were also programs like Nick in the Afternoon (with its U-Pick gimmick) and JBVO, where you could actually directly influence what you watched. You do, of course, have the freedom to watch whatever you want if you subscribe to the right streaming services, but to me, it was the characters that made all the difference.

It sorta gave the illusion that these characters were alive, at least on some other plane of existence. It also has a similar appeal as old school variety shows like Ed Sullivan and Johnny Carson, or even Vaudeville and circuses.

In general, I miss the days when kid programming felt more like they were catering to us, instead of just telling us what we should like.

We were lucky enough to contribute a few musical moments for the SpongeBob Movie Rehydrated project

I always resented this series, and for a weirdly specific reason. See, back when we were little, we made up a game where we shaped our hands into something vaguely resembling a face (mostly a mouth). The closest thing I can compare it to is Señor Wences' "Johnny" character. For some reason we called them "Moobies".

So when the Oobi show came out, we had been doing silly skits and stupid jokes with these "Moobies" for years! And we were stunned by how similar the basic concept and name was. We actually wondered if our antics had been observed, and through a game of telephone, eventually made it's way to Josh Selig. I have no definitive proof that we invented Moobies before the show, but my mom can back me up.

A lot of the argument in favor of 2010s cartoons is that they’re doing things no cartoons have ever done before. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I can get everything I could possibly want from ‘80s and ‘90s cartoons.

World-building and deep lore? TaleSpin. DuckTales (thanks to Carl Barks). Gummi Bears. My Little Pony. Ewoks. Aladdin. Gargoyles.

Dark and scary stuff? Too many to mention, but Disney and early Don Bluth films especially.

Complex, sympathetic villains? Darkwing Duck. The Raccoons. My Little Pony. Pokémon. Pinky and the Brain.

Long, drawn-out plotlines and/or quests? Any number of anime or action cartoons, really.

Sociopolicital satire/liberal agendas? Animaniacs. Pepper Ann. Recess. The Raccoons.

Ethnically diverse casts? Hey Arnold. Recess. The Wombles.

Strong female leads? Disney princesses. Hey Arnold. SWAT Kats.

Homosexual characters? Hey Arnold yet again. Mr. Simmons, to be exact.

Fourth wall breaking and meta humor? You’re kidding, right? That sort of thing has been around since Porky’s Duck Hunt in 1937, at least.

Also, Whatever Happened to Robot Jones was doing 1980s pop culture references before anyone else was.

There seems to be this impression that because of the popularity of Cartoon Network and Spielberg-produced Looney Tunes spinoffs that every TV cartoon in the ‘90s was pure slapstick silliness. There was a lot of that, but that was only one side to the whole picture. It seems to me that a lot of what came afterwards was a misguided reaction to that. It’s a testament to the ignorance of people who favor 2010s cartoons that they think they’re being innovative.

I have mixed feelings about the Rugrats reboot. On one hand, I’m glad most of the original cast is coming back, and that Arlene Klasky, Gábor Csupó and Paul Germain are on board as producers. I can sort of see why they chose to go CG because of the original show’s deep focus and weird angles to make the babies feel small. On the other hand, I seriously question the choice to make one of the characters lesbian. Progressivism for its own sake, sounds like. It’s not so much that a cartoon character can’t be lesbian, but as far as I can guess, it’s gonna be Betty DeVille. The whole problem with that is that if that’s the case (and I can’t think of any other choices), then they’re turning Betty’s defiance of gender stereotypes into the “butch” lesbian stereotype. Is that the sort of inclusiveness we should be okay with? But ignore me if I somehow don’t know what I’m talking about, I suppose.

I dreamed last night that I had won a mysterious Nickelodeon contest that I didn’t remember entering, and they’d brought a camera crew to televise my reaction to the prizes.

First of all, I was allowed to play with a tame semi-grown bear cub, who they kept on a leash. The prizes were a new desktop computer, new high-end computer speakers, a big bowl of candy, popcorn, and chocolate caramels, and a fancy end table.

The last prize was an audio book about calisthenics by Billy Barty.

I suppose I ought to have realized the dream wasn’t real by then.

Melissa Joan Hart sings ‘90s Nickelodeon alternative rock

It’s exactly what you think it sounds like

Anyone ever notice how a lot of late ‘90s/2000s cartoons were using pop punk theme songs?

Recommended Christmas albums for Angry Beavers fans (or, you know, if you really really like Herb Alpert).