Bastille was right. How am I gonna be an optimist about this. Also right about eh eho eho.

kitten, stop fucking around and tell daddy where you hid his prozac or daddy's gonna add another 'hey there delilah' to the sex playlist

why do you guys only like my bad posts

hi prev i read all my tags anyway my wife watches house and she says you’re right

I just woke up from a dream that I got invited to go clubbing with my friends last minute while I was wrapping up a volunteer shift at a big community center so on my way to the club I stopped at a mall and grabbed a random dress but for some reason I couldn’t change at the mall so I went farther down the highway and stopped at a rest stop. it was pouring rain and on the way in i slipped and got covered in mud & i dropped my dress in a puddle and it got soaking wet. i keep a blow dryer in my car (i travel a lot) so i grabbed it and went to the bathroom and started blow drying the dress.

i was freezing cold and soaking wet so i took off my jeans and t shirt since no one else was there but a man walked in, in a full blue velvet tuxedo and when we saw each other in my state of undress we both apologized.

he said the men’s room was closed for maintenance and asked if i minded if he used the women’s and i said i didn’t.

he came back out of the stall and said he was tired and actually came in to rest for twenty minutes before he got back on the road and i said that was fine so he sat on the bench in the bathroom and closed his eyes and we were both silent for a few minutes and then he opened his eyes and asked where i was headed and i said i was meeting friends at some club and he said

“i don’t know why you’re going to the club when you could be going to Ravioli Night.”

i said, “to what?”

he sat up excitedly and began to describe what sounded like a black-tie ball, all centered on eating a multi-course meal of different ravioli dishes.

it was already ten at night so i assumed he’d just come from there. i said sorry i missed it but maybe next time.

he said, “it only happens every four years, but you’re in luck; the first course isn’t served until midnight.”

i said, “people gather at midnight to eat ravioli?”

he smirked mischievously and said, “until dawn.”

my dress was mostly dry so i pulled it on over my head and i said, “based on your tux, i think i’d be too underdressed.”

he said, “you can be my plus-one, and no one will ask.”

it seemed to me this man had some sort of major social authority in this mysterious, nocturnal world of ravioli.

i considered it, but i said, “sorry….my friends are waiting for me.”

he smiled sadly for a moment, stood up, and asked if i had a pen. i did in my purse. he wrote coordinates on my arm and said, “if you change your mind….”

then he left.

i walked outside and he was already gone. i got in my car and hesitated to turn the key, considering the thrill in my chest at the concept of so much ravioli.

then i woke up at that moment. i’ll never know…….would i have followed my heart?

this man had the energy of a vampire love interest but i’m 100% certain he was human with some sort of powerful sway in this dark world of ravioli

Amazing dream. Follow your heart to a dark world of midnight raviolis

attention joann's shoppers. there is a freak in the yarn aisle buildinf a nest

release me you bastard i am not a yummy gyoza dumpling

taking away a clowngirl's makeup telling her she doesn't have to be a clown she can just be a normal silly billy and correcting her any time she tries to juggle until she gets sadder and sadder and eventually stops talking altogether and just communicating via gestures and realizing with horror you've created a mimegirl

you get it

a vampire giving themselves a pep talk to a mirror that has a crudely drawn picture of themselves that they drew taped to it

I think movies need more sex and i also think that actors need to be uglier and less in shape

Do you hate children yes or no

Yes

bapping you with my soft wittle paws until naught but ash and dust remains

I think movies need more sex and i also think that actors need to be uglier and less in shape

Do you hate children yes or no

Yes

I think movies need more sex and i also think that actors need to be uglier and less in shape

Do you hate children yes or no

Yes

I think movies need more sex and i also think that actors need to be uglier and less in shape

Do you hate children yes or no

Yes

if you're feeling bored, do this little experiment and tag with your score! you link 10 words together that are as different as possible