Playing Dragon Age: The Veilguard and I have a lot of opinions, but they can wait because there is a point in the game where you can pet a cat, and the controller will vibrate when it purrs.

this is how I would be commenting everywhere if I was a 37yo bald man

Proof cats are liquid

the average tumblr user will see this post. they will feel compelled to open up the comments. when they do this they'll see that nearly every comment written is identical.

they all say "Man, I sure do love the hivemind".

with that exact same punctuation and capitalization.

upon scrolling further they might find comments that do not say this.

they will be compelled to reply to that comment with the word "Anomaly". and nothing more.

Someone on TikTok had the fucking audacity to say “Evanora wished she’d killed Agatha the moment she left her body but Agatha begged Death to spare Nicholas’ life before he ever left hers” and now I am SOBBING

I could never be a protagonist because I'd just never move the plot along. "You have free reign of this castle, but don't go into this one area" Okie dokie. I mind my own business and hang out in the library. Queen of staying in my own lane. I'll never discover your magic curse.

"he's like a woman to me!!!" not true because if he was a woman to you you wouldn't give a fuck about him

proud to say that I have never once in my life figured out the whodunit in any crime story I've read or watched. I just let the facts and clues wash over me, absorbing absolutely none of it. I am the audience they think of when they throw in red herrings, in case you've ever wondered "who would fall for this obvious false lead". it's me. I am the idiot viewer/reader. not once has an obviously framed clue revealed anything to me. my head is completely empty when I consume these stories.

If there are more than 3 characters I consider myself to be operating at genius level if I can remember who anyone even is.

Im kind of ashamed that ive gone this long in my life as a bonafide bird lover and yet i somehow didnt know these guys are named POWERFUL OWLS

Who can forget this classic

Tumblr, the joy you take in small things sometimes is just such an absolute delight to me, I adore it.

DEVIL'S HOLE PUPFISH W

school of abyssopelagic cephalopods

incredibly evocative

broke: the makeup in tos was just stage makeup and it was never intended to be seen in high definition, therefore we should assume the characters weren’t meant to be seen as wearing makeup

woke: spock woke up every day and chose to slay in that purple eyeshadow and everyone else thought he looked so hot that they started doing it too