I, too, wocka wocka

this guy has no friends he just goes up to a random bartender and starts venting. he’s so funny

What if the corrie guard love palpatine. Hes just a very pleasant guy. No hint theres anything wrong with him at all and he pays for pizza night once a week. They see him endorsing war crimes in the senate and theyre like Go Grandpa Go.

“Yeah of course he’s doing evil shit. What do you mean he’s not supposed to do that? ……not ethical? Give me a minute I need to laugh with the vocoder off. Okay anyway. What am i supposed to do about it, go on strike? Get out of here. Not Ethical. I’ve got a gun. Im twelve.”

Holy shit lol

We stan

That ending fucking blindsided me

more than anything i want this zucc vs musk cage match to go through and for zucc to pick elon up like a disobedient chihuahua and drop him directly on his head and walk out of the ring without saying anything as the commentators start freaking out because musk isn’t moving and the ref can’t find a pulse

Mark Zuckerberg has a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to do the funniest thing possible.

okay i was joking initially but like. think about it. brutally murdering the richest man on earth with your bare hands on live TV in front of dozens of cameras and a live audience is about the most impossible thing to get away with, and if it was anyone other than Zucc, they’d be shot dead immediately and that would be that. but which security guard is going to shoot Mark fucking Zuckerberg? you can’t just shoot him, you have to, like, bring him to justice with a trial, because we’re better than that or whatever. and because Zucc has more money and lawyers than God he could probably draw it out for years. decades, even. jury members mysteriously disappear and have to keep being replaced. the judge recuses themselves after receiving an email during the trial with an attached video of themselves sleeping the previous night, filmed from their laptop’s webcam (which they have a sticker over). the prosecutor’s car drives off a bridge on the way to trial and when it’s finally dredged up weeks later the brake lines were cut and there’s no sign of a body.

also hyperpop musicians would sample the head bonk

working at a dispensary is funny. guy came in and asked for "weed for guys" and i said "what do you mean" and then he just apologized and left

Someone pointed this out on a Gif set and it reminded me of some video someone did about it but in spanish so here i am

@maderilien 

my three inner demons 💖

*on tattooine*

Obi-Wan: I have to go off planet, can you house-sit?

Cody: sure

Cody:

Cody: this is a cave

Leia and Obi-Wan's dynamic is so delightful because they both fundamentally believe they're babysitting the other

I’m legitimately wondering if there’s any reason a neovagina has to look especially realistic since it’s not like I’m gonna be seeing it all the time and genitals aren’t super aesthetic anyway so maybe I can get a discount if the doctor doesn’t have to like perfectly craft every fold of the vulva, like it’s not gonna be particularly deep or wide for me anyway, just gimme something that’s works and is easy to clean and knock a few bucks of the price, I’m not asking for Michaelangelo’s labia or anything y'know, I appreciate maybe the doctor won’t give me teeth or tentacles down there but at the same time I’m not going to get into a relationship with someone if they feel like they gotta conduct a 120 point snatchspection just to confirm my cunt meets the fuckability codes, I’m sure as shit not pushing babies out it and there’s no reason to overcomplicate taking a wee, so why not go for something a little more aerodynamic and low rez right?

this is the sort of post that terfs screen capture and go apeshit over

I don’t think Michaelangelo would be good at crafting vaginas anyway

You come in here, on the day of my cousin’s daughter’s aunt’s roommate’s best friend’s wedding, on this day you come to me and be funnier on my own post.

Okay so this show is pretty funny but I think this 5 seconds of dialogue between these two clones is the funniest fucking shit

i have no idea if i posted this already

Loving the concept of superheroes hanging out to do regular ass things

Marvel comics peaked with that panel of Daredevil and Spider-Man mentioning that they went antiquing the whole day so they couldn’t have possibly committed a crime

Made a whole comic based off this post from @milfcaptainrex !! I was cackling too hard and KNEW that I had to bring it to life???

I hate Palpatine So Fucking Much, so I made Fox as absolutely jacked as described??? Hope y'all like!! Have a great rest of your week!!

Maybe if you just transed your gender you'd calm down.

trans people keep winning