@treesinspace / treesinspace.tumblr.com
We've been browsing posts about other people's LotR-inspired weddings for inspiration, and obviously there's a spectrum ranging from "used the movie font for one piece of decor" to "every single guest is dressed as a hobbit," but my favorite is "this looks like just a normal wedding in almost every way, but also Gandalf is there."
Need you all to understand. At the wedding in question. Gandalf was the officiant.
Today’s the day
It’s the day!!
He definitely did, but since the whole book is supposed to be a translation of something he found and not something he personally wrote, they’re switched for the audience’s convenience. There’s a lot more to it, but here’s a chart of Shire months from the appendices at the end of RoTK. Elves and men are different, but there was no handy chart.
Happy… [squints] Winterfilth, everybody
Relevant XKCD: https://xkcd.com/2609/
theres ALWAYS a relevant XKCD for everything huh
Guys I just realized something
I’m reading Return of the King, and have just reached the chapter called “The Tower of Cirith Ungol,” in which Sam makes to rescue his master.
Something notable about this is that Sam has put on the Ring not once, but twice so far - and both times, his experience has been markedly different than Frodo’s.
Firstly, his vision is impaired. Everything he sees is somewhat obscured by a dark fog. It’s unclear whether this is an effect of the Ring entering Mordor, or if that’s just what it does to him specifically; after all, the Ring acts differently for each Wearer.
It’s the second effect that’s really interesting. You see, for some reason, the Ring improves his hearing. In both instances, he can hear orc-chatter from afar, as well as tumbling rocks and the foaming of Shelob. But what’s really wild about this is that the same never happens to Frodo.
Because the Ring reflects the Will and Strengths of the User, I can only assume this means one thing.
The One Ring empowers Samwise Gamgee’s eavesdropping.
Frodo fixing the ancient problem of a love triangle with a proposal of polyamory 🤭
“I think a servant of the enemy would look fairer and feel fouler”
Friendly reminder that Frodo called Aragorn ugly ☝🏻
Thinking of the larger context of LOTR and like, the fellowship swapping old war stories and shit and Sam just says “Yeah I killed a huge spider…Shelob, I think?”
And Gandalf just blinks and is like, “You what now?”
“Yeah, killed it. Had to save Frodo”
Gandalf elects not to tell Sam that he killed the spawn of a primordial demon.
the daughter of the embodiment of darkness which ate the original sun and moon and almost ate the devil.
That's not important. What is important is that it was a danger to Mister Frodo.
Bilbo barely passed Old Took's record lifespan after having a supernaturally-life-extending ring for 60 years. which begs a question. what the hell did Old Took do
I have a theory that somewhere back up the line gandalf fucked a took. This sounds like complete crack but hear me out. The tooks are rumored to have “fairy blood” which in LOTR terms means either elves or maia. There is an ancestor who’s unusually tall and many of them are noted to live unusually long lives unless they meet with illness or injury, same as the numenorians did. They don’t hve extra pointy ears and elves don’t have a special interest in the line. But who DOES have a special interest in looking after tooks (and bilbo who is a took on his mother’s side/his adopted son frodo)? Gandalf. That dude is ALWAYS fussing over some silly little guy. He regularly brought the old took birthday presents.
Back in the day some bold hobbitess decided to climb that old man and ever since then gandalf has been looking after his line of tiny crazy bastards and no one will convince me otherwise.
The fact that Tolkien realized he’d created inconsistency for LotR with the first published version of The Hobbit and then retconned it with the in universe explanation of “Bilbo is a liar,” is never going to stop being both equal parts brilliant and funny.
i love how Gandalf invested in Hobbits in year one and has been pushing them ever since. Thorin, i hear you need help with a breaking and entering. Can I recommend one of these little cunts? Silent as fuck, trust me. Elrond my dude i know you're skeptical but these four chucklefucks just transported a weapon of mass destruction all the way here. Theoden, you've gotta get yourself a hobbit man, I've got a spare one here. Denathor you big prick, take a hobbit - literally this is the bottom of the range but listen to him sing. Beautiful little bastard.
anything, ever: *is bad*
Gandalf, throwing a hobbit at the problem: try this
The poster for "The Two Towers" that I drew a long time ago
Love that one scene in Return Of The King that's like "bad news, sauron knows everything pippin knows. good news, pippin knows absolutely fuck all."
