Starting a new thread of insane shit I over hear my husband say to our toddler.

2. “Come now my child.”

*bluey the album starts playing*

3. “Oh I am so sorry. You’ve been mildly inconvenienced. How dare I truly”

4. “It is she! Her Majesty, Queen of the Sludge, Keeper of Goo, DJ Baby P (In the House) Dropper of Beats and Clapper of Hands”

5. He is in charge of bathtime and he lifted the ghoul tonight while singing “come with me and you’ll be in a world of baby sanitation” and I laughed so hard I snorted pasta

6. Okay this is more one that he said to me about the toddler but he was home with her while I was at work and I just got this text

7.

“Happy Independence Day Sweetie! Nationalism is a cancer!”

8. This is another one he said to me about her but still it made me laugh so hard I nearly choked

9.

*Penny babbling in the back seat, many la la las coming from her car seat*

“Are you singing us a song? Ah yes the dulcet tones of goblin”

10.

“Listen kid, I can’t let you have the cup anymore because you keep chugging the bath water, so we just have to remove the cup from the equation.”

11.

*penny is screaming, trying to climb back up a big slide at the playground*

“Someday you’ll learn about ,I don’t know physics and the myth of Sisyphus ,and you’ll start making a lot of connections I think. “

12. *Pen is still screaming and baby cussing about not being able to climb back up the slide*

“The problem is that you set goals for yourself that are unattainable by both man and baby.”

13.

“You can keep the cookie container, I don’t care. What kind of father would I be if I tried to separate a small raccoon child from her trash!?”

14.

*Penny is crying because the bucket she insisted on sitting in fell off the couch with her in it. Husband is bouncing her and rubbing her back after assessing that no physical damage occurred, just a bruised toddler ego*

“Oh my poor sweet angel. She fucked around and found out.”

15.

16. “The only three things this child cares about is Elmo, Cooking Videos, and Keith Tryguy”.

17.

“Hey. No! Cup privileges hereby rescinded, bath chugger”

18.

we miss him a lot

19.

20.

“I just don’t know how you and I, the two most indoorsy people to ever exist, managed to give birth to I don’t know , Baby Bear Grylls!?”

21.

“Not that I ever would because I love her and she’s my best friend, but I’m pretty sure if we just gave her one of those old timey kerchiefs on a stick and like sent her into the woods, she’d be fine. She’d come home in a week with berries and woodland friends ready to go to war for her.”

22.

“There’s so many mommy blogs and parenting books but not one of them have ever told me what to do when my child adopts a mad scientist laugh. How do you proceed from there?”

23.

(For context on this one, my in laws have one of these as a coffee table)

24.

Me: *hears a biiiig gulp come from upstairs* HEY IS SHE CHUGGING BATH WATER AGAIN?

Husband: SHE GOT THE PITCHER I USE TO RINSE HER HAIR AND IM AFRAID OF HER SO YES

25.

“ you know how penny can count to 5? She absolutely can not count to 6. We’re going through the numbers on her cube thing right? One, Two, Three, Four, Five and stop. She looks at me like what the hell do you mean keep going we’ve completed counting, this is all the numbers. I point at the 6, cause you know this thing goes to 10 and she is like looking at me like Dad, I got 1 through 5, that thing you’re pointing to? That’s some ancient rune from an unknown civilization and I can’t help you with that”

26.

“You really can do anything you set your mind to Penny Rose, it’s just that what your set it to doesn’t make a lick of sense”

27.

“Oh by the way I need a new pitcher because penny rose, much like a tiny Thor, took her bath pitcher and cracked in on the ground after she attempted to chug it”

28. (In response to penny being in her “I must be nude” phase)

29. Last one today. In response to Penny Rose’s unadulterated toddler rage

30.

“Her legs are so small why she so fast?”

31.

“Who taught her to call us you guys? She knows we’re mom and dad right? She just keeps calling me you guys”

32.

“When I get a sandwhich or a sub I always get chips cause you gotta get P a distraction snack, a dissnacktion if you will”

33.

Can’t get in my feelings when my husband is the court jester appointed to make me laugh

34.

(For context we play a level of Kirby every night as soon as P is out of the tub and into her Jammies)

“Penny Rose you have to brush your hair! You can’t let Kirby see you like this!”

35.

“Penny woke up with morning and said “I’m gonna lay in bed and and shout every word I know with no context at all”

36. “You’re being a real Muffin right now lady”

Oooo drag her

37.

*penny and husband in the distance, Penny is yelling PUSH PUSH PUSH PUSH*

“Girl the word you’re looking for is actually pull. You want to pull the zipper on your Jammies… yes okay yeah you do it. But you’re not doing it. Its pull. Its pull. You pull. You pull. You did it! I don’t know if that deserves applause really. Okay we’re clapping”

38.

This might be niche to us but man I was cracking up

39.

“My wish for P is that someday she finds someone who looks at her the way she looks at bread”

40.

“I know we don’t have food rules but I am going to have to start enacting food laws against food crimes. First order, you can’t shove your fist in the butter. That’s not about eating that’s about human decency.”

41.

Them boys are gonna learn unfortunately

41. (For context my daughter calls herself Penny Woes, because her name is Penny Rose and Rs are hard)

“When the snacks are gone and no one will pick you, these are Penny Woes”

42.

Husband: *goes to steal another fruit snack from P*

Me: stop stealing her snacks!

Husband: it’s the dad tax!

Me: yeah well taxation without representation is illegal.

Husband: she can say whatever she wants to me! And I, much like the US government, don’t have to listen to ANY of it!

43. Alright when we get to 50 I’m starting a new thread. This is getting out of hand

44:

Wednesdays are my favorite days because my husband works from home with Penny and I get a running commentary all morning

45:

“You’ll never defeat Posiedon if all you’re worried about is your dress getting wet!”

46. Back to our regularly scheduled content

47.

“Yes they are all your books but guess what girlie? You literally can’t read.”

(I have no idea why this had be in tears)

48.

Dada do be going through it

49.

“I don’t know man the cat calms her down! Sometimes when she’s freaking out I just hand her Sherbert and she stops.”

50. This is it this is the the last one

(The black splotch is a blacked out video of my child in the bath tub)

Thought I'd share this meme that has been developing on the r/lordoftherings subreddit over the last couple days. Enjoy!

hilarious drama going on on reddit, the least respectable social media site i use. someone goes to r/legaladvice with a question about a shitty interaction with a cop. pretty normal post.

some users replied with regular advice, but one r/legaladvice moderator came in saying it was OP's fault, defending the cop. when OP requested they "please read the post", they equipped their next reply with their little mod hat and told them that showing attitude would result in a ban.

after receiving hundreds of downvotes (and many replies, all of which were removed and banned), the r/legaladvice mod nuked the thread in a fit of anger.

so you'd think it'd stop there, right? well, that's where you're wrong.

there's another subreddit called r/bestoflegaladvice, where the more interesting r/legaladvice threads are reposted for audiences to take the piss out of. and of course, a mod throwing a tantrum and nuking a thread because they were asked to read would make that cut. so it was reposted! and of course, everyone started rightfully calling the mod a bootlicker.

people then started pointing out that the r/legaladvice mod team has cops on it, at which point, part two of the drama starts: some people are mods of both r/legaladvice AND r/bestoflegaladvice, and they get really mad when you call them cops (derogatory).

so of course, they take the best course of action, which is to angrily reply to comments calling them cops and then use mod powers to delete the comments they don't like, insisting that only ONE r/legaladvice mod is a cop, so it's totally fine!

the r/bestoflegaladvice thread was then deleted and locked by mods, presumably for "republicizing deleted comments".

the same thread was then reposted to r/bestoflegaladvice. again, the thread fills with people calling the r/legaladvice mods cops.

this thread was also deleted and locked by r/bestoflegaladvice mods.

but it doesn't end there! because there's ANOTHER subreddit called r/subredditdrama, where the juiciest drama from all manner of subreddits gets reposted. and you'll never believe what's gone on long enough to count as drama.

here, free from the shackles of reddit's legaladvice world, users were free to dunk on the mods as much as they want.

the r/subredditdrama thread was eventually deleted as well (but not locked) just because they don't accept links to nuked threads since the original can't be read, but thankfully, everything had been archived by that point.

and just because the streisand effect should never go unrealized, i'm reposting it here, to tumblr. who knows, maybe someone will bother to screencap this and put it on r/curatedtumblr, and it will eventually live on in reddit again.

as for OP, they reposted their situation to r/nostupidquestions and later posted this update:

moral of the story: never go to reddit for legal advice, because the legal advice subreddit is run by ONE cop.

new theory unlocked

Nationalratswahl 2024: Wen soll ich wählen????

Austrian Sweeties, in etwas mehr als einem Monat ist es soweit und wir dürfen unseren Nationalrat wählen. Wahltag ist der Sonntag, 29. September 2024. Alle, die am Wahltag mindestens 16 Jahre alt sind, dürfen wählen - also auch all jene, die am 29. 9. ihren 16. Geburtstag haben. Wer am Wahltag verhindert ist, kann natürlich auch schon davor per Briefwahl bzw. Wahlkarte wählen, also no excuses!!!

Die Basics

Gewählt werden 183 Abgeordnete zum Nationalrat für die nächsten fünf Jahre. Die Zahl der Stimmen, die jede Partei bekommt, wird in Mandate umgerechnet. Normalerweise zieht die Person als erstes ein, die den ersten Listenplatz hat, also der Spitzenkandidat bzw. die Spitzenkandidatin. Aber Vorzugsstimmen können insgesamt drei vergeben werden: für die Bundes-, Landes-, und Regionalparteiliste. Parteien werden bei der Verteilung der Mandate nur dann berücksichtigt, wenn sie im gesamten Bundesgebiet mindestens vier Prozent der Stimmen oder ein Direkt- bzw. Grundmandat in einem Wahlkreis erreichen. Dazu braucht die Partei in mindestens einem Regionalwahlkreis ganz besonders viele Stimmen. Unmöglich ist es nicht, dass jemand durch Vorzugsstimmen ein Mandat bekommt, obwohl sie bzw. er auf der Liste niedriger gereiht war - jedoch eher selten. Aber bei der EU Wahl 2024 hat z.B. der zweitgereihte Thomas Waitz die Spitzenkandidatin der Grünen Lena Schilling durch Vorzugsstimmen überholt und ist nun Delegationsleiter.

Der Nationalrat übt, gemeinsam mit dem Bundesrat, die Gesetzgebung des Bundes aus. Nicht direkt gewählt werden in Österreich Bundesregierung bzw. Bundeskanzler:in. Aber nach der NR-Wahl bietet die Regierung dem Bundespräsidenten ihren Rücktritt an. Der Bundespräsident vergibt dann den Auftrag zur Regierungsbildung, üblicher Weise an den Vorsitzenden bzw. die Vorsitzende der mandatsstärksten Partei - diese:r wird dann üblicher Weise Bundeskanzler:in. Dann beginnen die Koalitionsverhandlungen, bei denen natürlich auch die Mehrheitsverhältnisse im Nationalrat eine große Rolle spielen. Denn prinzipiell sollten die Regierungsparteien insgesamt die absolute Mehrheit haben.

Der Bundespräsident ernennt, wenn die Koalitionsverhandlungen erfolgreich verlaufen sind, die Bundesminister:innen gemäß der Vorschläge der/des Bundeskanzler:in.

Die Ergebnisse der Nationalratswahl 2024 haben also maßgebliche Auswirkungen auf die Politik in ganz Österreich - für die nächsten fünf Jahre, und auch darüber hinaus. Denn Gesetzgebung wird ja in der Regel nach einer Legislaturperiode nicht wieder Rückgängig gemacht!

Parteien

Aktuell bereits im Nationalrat vertreten sind die Parteien ÖVP (71 Mandate), SPÖ (40 Mandate), FPÖ (30 Mandate), Grüne (26 Mandate) und NEOS (15 Mandate). Diese Parteien treten auch wieder zur NR-Wahl an. Außerdem hat aktuell ein Mandat eine parteilose Person (zuvor FPÖ).

Es treten zusätzlich noch einige kleinere Parteien an. Österreichweit sind das:

In Niederösterreich, Oberösterreich, dem Burgenland, der Steiermark, Tirol, Vorarlberg und Wien tritt außerdem die Liste GAZA - Stimmen gegen den Völkermord (GAZA) an. In Niederösterreich, Oberösterreich, Salzburg, der Steiermark, Tirol, Vorarlberg und Wien tritt außerdem die MFG - Österreich Menschen - Freiheit - Grundrechte (MFG) an. Und im Burgenland noch Die Gelben (BGE).

Entscheidungshilfen

Das sind mal insgesamt 12 Parteien. Natürlich wäre es am gewissenhaftesten, sich von allen Parteien, die für einen potentiell in Frage kommen könnten, das Wahlprogramm durchzulesen (Links unterm Cut). Aber seien wir uns ehrlich: Wer hat dafür die Zeit und/oder Motivation? Es gibt online ein paar Tools als Hilfestellung.

Die Wahlkabine ist zurück! Den Parteien wurden 25 Fragen gestellt. Man kann zwar angeben, wie wichtig ein spezifisches Thema für einen ist, allerdings die Fragen nur mit Ja oder Nein (bzw. keine Angabe) beantworten.

Ein bisschen mehr Nuancen lässt bei der Beantwortung der Standard-Wahlkompass zu. User:innen können bei 30 Statements anhand einer siebenteiligen Skala angeben, wie sehr sie damit übereinstimmen und anschließend bis zu drei Statements als besonders relevant kennzeichnen.

Beide Tools ermöglichen es, nach Beantwortung die eigenen Antworten mit jenen der Parteien zu vergleichen. Die meisten haben auch zu jeder Frage ein kurzes Statement eingereicht. Und das ist eigentlich das Nützlichste daran. Denn nur mit Ja/Nein bzw. einer Skala von 1 bis 7 kann man sich ja kein komplettes Bild machen.

Und beide Tools sollen natürlich keine Wahlempfehlung sein, sondern eine Möglichkeit, halbwegs unkompliziert die Ansichten der Parteien mit den eigenen zu vergleichen.

Ansonsten ist es natürlich immer empfehlenswert, die Nachrichten zu verfolgen, die aktuelle Politik zu beobachten - nicht nur, was im Programm steht, sondern auch, was die Parteien in der letzten NR-Periode auch tatsächlich getan haben. Viele Politiker:innen sind auch auf den Sozialen Medien vertreten. Nicht immer, aber oft, ist das eine gute Möglichkeit, sich über die konkreten Ansichten und Ziele einer Person zu informieren, vor allem, wenn es darum geht, an wen eine Vorzugsstimme vergeben werden soll.

Dies soll ein möglichst neutral gehaltenes Service / Infoposting sein. In einem Reblog folgen meine Meinung und meine Ergebnisse bei Wahlkabine und Wahlkompass.

Quellen

NR 2024: Meine Meinung

Die Nationalratswahl ist der Höhepunkt des Superwahljahrs 2024. Erst mal möchte ich an alle meine Follower:innen apellieren, auf jeden Fall von ihrem Wahlrecht Nutzen zu machen. Von der politischen Lage in Österreich, und seien wir uns mal ehrlich: weltweit, frustriert zu sein, ist verständlich. Wenn man sich ansieht, wie in den letzten Legislaturperioden in Österreich regiert wurde, dann kommt man schnell in Versuchung, einfach komplett aufzugeben, die Tagespolitik zu verfolgen und lieber einfach gar nichts mehr mitzubekommen, als ständig nur Frust und Enttäuschungen.

Aber bei der Nationalratswahl können wir - die Wähler:innen - das ändern. Und das ist dringend notwendig. Vor allem ist es für unsere Zukunft - für die Zukunft unserer Umwelt, unseres Klimas, unseres Sozialsystems und unserer Gesellschaft - wichtig, dass sich die Politik in Österreich grundlegend verändert.

Gerade entwickelt sich die politische Landschaft in ganz Österreich in erschreckende Richtungen. Bei der EU-Wahl war die FPÖ mit volksverhetzenden Botschaften und maßlos geschmacklosen Wahlkampfstrategien Wahlsieger. Wir müssen verhindern, dass diese Partei bei der Nationalratswahl ebenso gut abschneidet. Vor allem müssen wir eine Regierungsbeteiligung der FPÖ, und gar, dass sie den Bundeskanzler (muss in diesem Fall wohl nicht gegendert werden.... ) stellt. Jede Regierungsbeteiligung der FPÖ hatte verheerende Folgen. Für die meisten großen, bundesweiten Polit-Skandale der zweiten Republik ist die FPÖ verantwortlich.

Die Causa Ibiza ist sicher allen hier ein Begriff. Aber viele andere, viel ältere Affären sind noch immer nicht restlos aufgearbeitet. Bawag Affäre, BUWOG Affäre, Eurofighter Affäre, Hypo Alpe Adria, Telekom-Affäre - das sind alles Wörter, die sicher alle schon mal gehört haben. Aber googelt das mal. Es ist absolut crazy shit. Und irgendwie hat es Karl-Heinz Grasser (FPÖ, später parteilos), der ja "nur" von 2000 bis Jänner 2007 Finanzminister war, es geschafft in so unendlich viele Affären verwickelt zu sein, dass es eigentlich jenseits von skrupellos ist. Dann sollten wir natürlich auch die BVT-Affaire durch Herbert Kickl nicht vergessen. Und, und und... Solche Menschen darf man nicht regieren lassen.

Die, zumindest bei der EU-Wahl 2024, nächststärkste Kraft, die ÖVP, ist, wenn überhaupt, nur marginal besser. Die ÖVP ist in Österreich viel zu lange an der Macht, war seit 1987 an jeder Bundesregierung beteiligt (mit Ausnahme von Bierleins Expertenregierung). Da haben sich Strukturen gebildet, die nur so vor Korruption triefen. Sebastian Kurz, bzw. die vielen Vorfälle um ihn und seine Regierung herum, war da sicher nur die Spitze des Eisberges.

Aber Skandale und Korruption sind ja nur das eine. Politisch ist die ÖVP mittlerweile genauso untragbar, wie die FPÖ. Bei manchen Themen beziehen sie sogar noch extremere Positionen, vor allem, was Privatsphäre und persönliche Freiheiten betrifft. Die FPÖ tritt offen volksverhetzend auf, wettert gegen all jene Menschen, die nich in ihr Weltbild passen, sie schürt Panik und schämt sich nicht, die Gesellschaft zu ihrem eigenen Nutzen zu spalten. Die ÖVP tut's ähnlich, aber unter einem gut-bürgerlichen, "anständigen" Schein. Aber egal ob die Österreicher:innen am Stimmzettel Blau oder Schwarz ankreuzen: bekommen werden sie die gleiche braune Gülle.

Ein bisschen hipper inszenieren sich die Neos - gute, zukunftsfähige Politik machen sie aber nicht. Wer auf Pride Paraden Wahlwerbung betreibt, aber die Wirtschaft statt der Menschen an die erste Stelle stellt, der betreibt einfach nur Pinkwashing. Passt ja zur Parteifarbe...

Sowohl die SPÖ als auch die Grünen sind akzeptable Optionen. Beide Parteien haben in den letzten Jahren allerdings so einiges an Sympathie verloren. Teils klar selbst verschuldet, natürlich. Aber die Grünen haben leider als Junior-Partner der ÖVP in der Regierung einfach nicht so recht die Chancen, wirklich starke, grüne und zukunftsfähige Politik umzusetzen.

Aber bei der Nationalratswahl müss man sich ja nicht nur zwischen den größeren Parteien entscheiden. Es sind auch einige sehr interessante, neue Player mit dabei. Damit meine ich natürlich nicht MFG oder Petrovic. Wer die wählt, ist halt einfach nur jenseits von lost. Aber die KPÖ zum Beispiel - ich bin mir da nie sicher, was ich so konkret von der KPÖ halten soll. Prinzipiell stimme ich dem Großteil ihrer Positionen zu. Die Frage ist da eher, wie Realitätsnah die Umsetzung dann ist. Ähnlich natürlich mit BIER und KEINE. Wobei mich die Bierpartei überrascht hat, in der Hinsicht, dass sie gar nicht mal so komplett ultra linke Positionen vertritt.

Es ist bei einer Nationalratswahl wie dieser auf jeden Fall wert, auch den kleinen Parteien etwas Aufmerksamkeit zu schenken. Ob eine Stimme verschenkt ist, wenn die Partei dann schließlich an der Vier-Prozent-Hürde scheitert, und man doch lieber SPÖ oder Grün gewählt hätte, das weiß man erst nach der Wahl. Aber nur mit Unterstützung kann eine Kleinpartei jemals zu einer starken Stimme im Nationalrat werden. Vielleicht klappt es noch nicht heuer - aber auch nur 3,5 Prozent der Stimmen sind ein starkes Signal, und kann den Kleinparteien helfen, Resourcen für die nächste Wahl - nicht mal erst die nächste Nationalratswahl - zu sammeln.

Ob man sich als Wähler:in auf dieses Risiko einlässt, ist einem selbst überlassen. Allerdings ist das Wichtigste, überhaupt erst mal wählen zu gehen. Selbst wenn man eine linke Partei wählt, die es nicht in den NR schafft, ist es immer noch besser, als man wäre gar nicht wählen gegangen. Wählt die Partei, die eure Interessen und Ansichten am besten repräsentiert, egal ob rot, grün, oder klein. Aber wählt. Wählt links, bringt eure Freund:innen dazu, zu wählen. Setzt ein Zeichen gegen den schwarzblaubraunen Sumpf, in dem Österreich sonst zu versinken droht.

Demokratie ist in unserem Land ein wichtiges Gut und wir müssen davor Gebrauch machen. Denn die rechten Volksverhetzer wissen, wie sie ihre Wähler:innenschaft mobilisieren. Und wenn wir uns nicht dazu durchringen, ein Kreuzerl für eine linke Politik zu setzen, dann überlassen wir ihnen die Zügel für unsere Zukunft.

Meine Ergebnisse bei Wahkabine und Wahlkompass sind unterm Cut

tw: broken frontal bone tw: broken left parietal bone tw: broken right parietal bone tw: broken left temporal bone tw: broken right temporal bone tw: broken occipital bone tw: broken sphenoid bone tw: broken ethmoid bone tw: broken mandible tw: broken left maxilla tw: broken right maxilla tw: broken left palantine bone tw: broken right palantine bone tw: broken left zygomatic bone tw: broken right zygomatic bone tw: broken left nasal bone tw: broken right nasal bone tw: broken left lacrimal bone tw: broken right lacrimal bone tw: broken vomer tw: broken left nasal conchae tw: broken right nasal conchae tw: broken left malleus tw: broken right malleus tw: broken left incus tw: broken right incus tw: broken left stapes tw: broken right stapes tw: broken hyoid tw: broken left scapula tw: broken right scapula tw: broken left clavicle tw: broken right clavicle tw: broken sternum tw: broken left rib 1 tw: broken left rib 2 tw: broken left rib 3 tw: broken left rib 4 tw: broken left rib 5 tw: broken left rib 6 tw: broken left rib 7 tw: broken left rib 8 tw: broken left rib 9 tw: broken left rib 10 tw: broken left rib 11 tw: broken left rib 12 tw: broken right rib 1 tw: broken right rib 2 tw: broken right rib 3 tw: broken right rib 4

tw: broken right rib 5 tw: broken right rib 6 tw: broken right rib 7 tw: broken right rib 8 tw: broken right rib 9 tw: broken right rib 10 tw: broken right rib 11 tw: broken right rib 12 tw: broken cerivcal vertebra 1 tw: broken cerivcal vertebra 2 tw: broken cerivcal vertebra 3 tw: broken cerivcal vertebra 4 tw: broken cerivcal vertebra 5 tw: broken cerivcal vertebra 6 tw: broken cerivcal vertebra 7 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 1 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 2 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 3 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 4 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 5 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 6 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 7 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 8 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 9 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 10 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 11 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 12 tw: broken lumbar vertebra 1 tw: broken lumbar vertebra 2 tw: broken lumbar vertebra 3 tw: broken lumbar vertebra 4 tw: broken lumbar vertebra 5 tw: broken sacrum tw: broken coccyx tw: broken left humerus tw: broken right humerus tw: broken left radius tw: broken right radius tw: broken left ulna tw: broken right ulna tw: broken left scaphoid bone tw: broken right scaphoid bone tw: broken left lunate bone tw: broken right lunate bone tw: broken left triquetral bone tw: broken right triquetral bone tw: broken left pisiform bone

tw: broken right pisiform bone tw: broken left trapezium tw: broken right trapezium tw: broken left trapezoid bone tw: broken right trapezoid bone tw: broken left capitate bone tw: broken right capitate bone tw: broken left hamate bone tw: broken right hamate bone tw: broken left metacarpal 1 bone tw: broken left metacarpal 2 bone tw: broken left metacarpal 3 bone tw: broken left metacarpal 4 bone tw: broken left metacarpal 5 bone tw: broken right metacarpal 1 bone tw: broken right metacarpal 2 bone tw: broken right metacarpal 3 bone tw: broken right metacarpal 4 bone tw: broken right metacarpal 5 bone tw: broken left proximal phalanx 1 tw: broken left proximal phalanx 2 tw: broken left proximal phalanx 3 tw: broken left proximal phalanx 4 tw: broken left proximal phalanx 5 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 1 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 2 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 3 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 4 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 5 tw: broken left intermediate phalanx 5 tw: broken left intermediate phalanx 2 tw: broken left intermediate phalanx 3 tw: broken left intermediate phalanx 4 tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 5 tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 2 tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 3 tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 4 tw: broken left distal phalanx 1 tw: broken left distal phalanx 2 tw: broken left distal phalanx 3 tw: broken left distal phalanx 4 tw: broken left distal phalanx 5 tw: broken right distal phalanx 1 tw: broken right distal phalanx 2 tw: broken right distal phalanx 3 tw: broken right distal phalanx 4 tw: broken right distal phalanx 5 tw: broken left innominate bone tw: broken right innominate bone tw: broken left femur tw: broken right femur

tw: broken left patella tw: broken right patella tw: broken left tibia tw: broken right tibia tw: broken left fibula tw: broken right fibula tw: broken left calcaneus tw: broken right calcaneus tw: broken left talus tw: broken right talus tw: broken left navicular bone tw: broken right navicular bone tw: broken left medial cuneiform bone tw: broken right medial cuneiform bone tw: broken left intermediate cuneiform bone tw: broken right intermediate cuneiform bone tw: broken left lateral cuneiform bone tw: broken right lateral cuneiform bone tw: broken left cuboid bone tw: broken right cuboid bone tw: broken left metatarsal 1 bone tw: broken left metatarsal 2 bone tw: broken left metatarsal 3 bone tw: broken left metatarsal 4 bone tw: broken left metatarsal 5 bone tw: broken right metatarsal 1 bone tw: broken right metatarsal 2 bone tw: broken right metatarsal 3 bone tw: broken right metatarsal 4 bone tw: broken right metatarsal 5 bone tw: broken left proximal phalanx 1 tw: broken left proximal phalanx 2 tw: broken left proximal phalanx 3 tw: broken left proximal phalanx 4 tw: broken left proximal phalanx 5 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 1 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 2 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 3 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 4 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 5 tw: broken left intermediate phalanx 1 tw: broken left intermediate phalanx 2 tw: broken left intermediate phalanx 3 tw: broken left intermediate phalanx 4 tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 1 tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 2 tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 3 tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 4 tw: broken left distal phalanx 1 tw: broken left distal phalanx 2 tw: broken left distal phalanx 3 tw: broken left distal phalanx 4 tw: broken left distal phalanx 5 tw: broken right distal phalanx 1 tw: broken right distal phalanx 2 tw: broken right distal phalanx 3 tw: broken right distal phalanx 4 tw: broken right distal phalanx 5

tw: bruising

Op you're not looking very well

@vague-magnus-archives

Dracula Dictionary, August 6th - Addendum

"I'm afraid, my deary, that I must have shocked you by all the wicked things I've been sayin' about the dead, and such like, for weeks past; but I didn't mean them, and I want ye to remember that when I'm gone. We aud folks that be daffled, and with one foot abaft the krok-hooal, don't altogether like to think of it, and we don't want to feel scart of it; an' that's why I've took to makin' light of it, so that I'd cheer up my own heart a bit. But, Lord love ye, miss, I ain't afraid of dyin', not a bit; only I don't want to die if I can help it. My time must be nigh at hand now, for I be aud, and a hundred years is too much for any man to expect; and I'm so nigh it that the Aud Man is already whettin' his scythe. Ye see, I can't get out o' the habit of caffin' about it all at once; the chafts will wag as they be used to. Some day soon the Angel of Death will sound his trumpet for me. But don't ye dooal an' greet, my deary!"—for he saw that I was crying—"if he should come this very night I'd not refuse to answer his call. For life be, after all, only a waitin' for somethin' else than what we're doin'; and death be all that we can rightly depend on. But I'm content, for it's comin' to me, my deary, and comin' quick. It may be comin' while we be lookin' and wonderin'. Maybe it's in that wind out over the sea that's bringin' with it loss and wreck, and sore distress, and sad hearts. Look! look!" he cried suddenly. "There's something in that wind and in the hoast beyont that sounds, and looks, and tastes, and smells like death. It's in the air; I feel it comin'. Lord, make me answer cheerful when my call comes!":

I'm afraid, my dear, that I must have shocked you with all the wicked things I've been saying about the dead and such things the last few weeks; but I didn't meant them, and I want you to remember that when I'm gone. Us old crazy people with one foot in the grave don't like to think about it, and we don't want to feel scared of it; and that's why I started to make fun of it, so that it would cheer me up a bit. But, miss, I am not afraid of dying, not at all; it's just that I don't want to die if I can help it. My time must be almost over now, because I am old, and a hundred years is too much for anyone to expect; and I am so close that the Grim Reaper is already preparing his scythe. You see, I can't get out of the habit of talking about it just like that; the chins will wag as they used to. Some day soon the Angel of Death will sound his trumpet for me. But don't mourn and grieve my dear! If he came for me tonight I would not refuse to answer his call. Because life is after all only waiting for something other than what we're doing; and death is the only thing we can take for granted. But I'm happy, because it's coming for me, my dear, and it's coming quick. It might come while we are looking and wondering. Maybe it's in that wind over the sea that brings loss and ruin and sadness with it. Look! Look! There is something in that wind that sounds, and looks, and tastes, and smells like death. It's in the air; I feel it coming. Lord, make me answer cheerfully when my call comes!

Dracula Dictionary, August 1st - Addendum

"It be all fool-talk, lock, stock, and barrel; that's what it be, an' nowt else. These bans an' wafts an' boh-ghosts an' barguests an' bogles an' all anent them is only fit to set bairns an' dizzy women a-belderin'. They be nowt but air-blebs. They, an' all grims an' signs an' warnin's, be all invented by parsons an' illsome beuk-bodies an' railway touters to skeer an' scunner hafflin's, an' to get folks to do somethin' that they don't other incline to. It makes me ireful to think o' them. Why, it's them that, not content with printin' lies on paper an' preachin' them out of pulpits, does want to be cuttin' them on the tombstones. Look here all around you in what airt ye will; all them steans, holdin' up their heads as well as they can out of their pride, is acant—simply tumblin' down with the weight o' the lies wrote on them, 'Here lies the body' or 'Sacred to the memory' wrote on all of them, an' yet in nigh half of them there bean't no bodies at all; an' the memories of them bean't cared a pinch of snuff about, much less sacred. Lies all of them, nothin' but lies of one kind or another! My gog, but it'll be a quare scowderment at the Day of Judgment when they come tumblin' up in their death-sarks, all jouped together an' tryin' to drag their tombsteans with them to prove how good they was; some of them trimmlin' and ditherin', with their hands that dozzened an' slippy from lyin' in the sea that they can't even keep their grup o' them.":

It's nonsense, all of it; that's what it is and nothing else. These curses and spirits and ghosts and bogie-men and the the like are only fit to make children and dizzy women cry. They're nothing but illusions. They, and all the scary signs and warnings were invented by priests, and mean-spirited academics, and highwaymen to scare and confuse halfwits, and to get people to do things that they otherwise wouldn't have. It makes me angry to think about them. They're the ones who aren't happy just printing lies on paper and preaching them from their altars, so they have to cut them into tombstones as well. Look in whatever direction you want; all these stones trying to hold their heads up out of pride - they should all be falling over under the weight of the lies that are written on them. "Here lies the body" or "Sacred to the memory" written on all of them, even though half of them don't even have a body under them; and their memory is worth about as much a pinch of snuff, it's certainly not sacred to anyone. All of it is lies, nothing but lies one way or another! My god, it’ll be a strange pushing and shoving at the Day of Judgment when they come tumbling up here in their shrouds, all jumbled together and trying to drag their tombstones with them to prove how good they were in life; some of them will be trembling and frail, with their hands so numb and slippery from lying in the sea that they can't even keep their grip on them.

"Yabblins! There may be a poorish few not wrong, savin' where they make out the people too good; for there be folk that do think a balm-bowl be like the sea, if only it be their own. The whole thing be only lies. Now look you here; you come here a stranger, an' you see this kirk-garth." I nodded, for I thought it better to assent, though I did not quite understand his dialect. I knew it had something to do with the church. He went on: "And you consate that all these steans be aboon folk that be happed here, snod an' snog?" I assented again. "Then that be just where the lie comes in. Why, there be scores of these lay-beds that be toom as old Dun's 'bacca-box on Friday night." He nudged one of his companions, and they all laughed. "And my gog! how could they be otherwise? Look at that one, the aftest abaft the bier-bank: read it!":

Perhaps! A few of them might not be wrong, except for those parts where people are being praised too much; because there are people who mistake a chamber-pot for the sea, as long as it's their own. Now look here, you came here as a stranger and you see this churchyard. Do you believe that all these stones are standing above people that are burried here? That is where the lies start. Many of these graves are as empty as old Dun's tobacco box on a friday night. And my god, how else could it be? Look at that one, the first one behind the bench: read it!"

"Who brought him home, I wonder, to hap him here? Murdered off the coast of Andres! an' you consated his body lay under! Why, I could name ye a dozen whose bones lie in the Greenland seas above"—he pointed northwards—"or where the currents may have drifted them. There be the steans around ye. Ye can, with your young eyes, read the small-print of the lies from here. This Braithwaite Lowrey—I knew his father, lost in the Lively off Greenland in '20; or Andrew Woodhouse, drowned in the same seas in 1777; or John Paxton, drowned off Cape Farewell a year later; or old John Rawlings, whose grandfather sailed with me, drowned in the Gulf of Finland in '50. Do ye think that all these men will have to make a rush to Whitby when the trumpet sounds? I have me antherums aboot it! I tell ye that when they got here they'd be jommlin' an' jostlin' one another that way that it 'ud be like a fight up on the ice in the old days, when we'd be at one another from daylight to dark, an' tryin' to tie up our cuts by the light of the aurora borealis.":

Who brought him back home to burry him here, I wonder? Murdered off the coast of Andres! And you really believe his body is buried here! I could name a dozen people whose bones lie in the sea of Greenland up north, or wherever the currents have taken them. Theirs are the headstones around us. With your young eyes you can read the lies from here. This Braithwaite Lowrey - I knew his father, used to serve on the Lively, lost off the coast of Greenland in 1820; or Andrew Woodhouse, drowned in the same seas in 1777; or John Paxton, drowned by Cape Farewell a year later; or old John Rawlings, whose grandfather sailed with me, drowned in the Gulf of Finland in 1850. Do you think all of them will be rushing back to Whitby when the trumpet sounds for Judgement Day? I have my doubts about it! If they did all come here they would pushing and shoving each other in such a way that it would look like one of the fights on the ice back in the old days, when we were at each other's throats from dawn to dusk, and trying to bandage our wound by the light of the aurora borealis.

"Well, what else be they tombstones for? Answer me that, miss! How will it pleasure their relatives to know that lies is wrote over them, and that everybody in the place knows that they be lies?" He pointed to a stone at our feet which had been laid down as a slab, on which the seat was rested, close to the edge of the cliff. "Read the lies on that thruff-stean":

Well, what else would the tombstones be for? Answer me that, miss! How would it please their relatives to know that there are lies written about them, and that everybody here knows that they're lies? Read the lies on that gravestone.

"Ye don't see aught funny! Ha! ha! But that's because ye don't gawm the sorrowin' mother was a hell-cat that hated him because he was acrewk'd—a regular lamiter he was—an' he hated her so that he committed suicide in order that she mightn't get an insurance she put on his life. He blew nigh the top of his head off with an old musket that they had for scarin' the crows with. 'Twarn't for crows then, for it brought the clegs and the dowps to him. That's the way he fell off the rocks. And, as to hopes of a glorious resurrection, I've often heard him say masel' that he hoped he'd go to hell, for his mother was so pious that she'd be sure to go to heaven, an' he didn't want to addle where she was. Now isn't that stean at any rate"—he hammered it with his stick as he spoke—"a pack of lies? and won't it make Gabriel keckle when Geordie comes pantin' up the grees with the tombstean balanced on his hump, and asks it to be took as evidence!":

You don't see anything funny! Ha ha! But that's because you don't know that the sorrowing mother was a malicious woman with a fierce temper who hated him because he was a cripple, and he hated her so he commited suicide so she wouldn't get any of his life insurance. He blew off the top of his head with an old musket they had for scaring off the crows. It didn't scare the crows off then, because it brought the flies and the crows to him. That's how he fell off the rocks. And as far as the hopes of a glorious resurrection go, I often heard him say myself that he hoped he'd go to hell, because his mother was so devout that she would definitely go to heaven, and he didn't want to end up where she was. Now isn't this gravestone a pack of lies? And won't it make the archangel Gabriel cackle when George comes hobbling up the stairway to heaven with the tombstone on his back and asks it to be taken as evidence!

"That won't harm ye, my pretty; an' it may make poor Geordie gladsome to have so trim a lass sittin' on his lap. That won't hurt ye. Why, I've sat here off an' on for nigh twenty years past, an' it hasn't done me no harm. Don't ye fash about them as lies under ye, or that doesn' lie there either! It'll be time for ye to be getting scart when ye see the tombsteans all run away with, and the place as bare as a stubble-field. There's the clock, an' I must gang. My service to ye, ladies!":

That won't harm you, my pretty; and it might make poor George happy to have such a fine girl sitting on his lap. That won't hurt you. I've been sitting here occasionally for almost the last twenty years, and it hasn't done me any harm. Don't worry about who lies under you, or who doesn't lie there! It will be time for you to get scared when you see all the gravestones run away and this place is as empty as a field after the harvest. That was the clock ringing, and I must be going. Nice talking to you, ladies!

I do love Tumblr's isolation from some topics, but we're tragically missing out on the JD Vance couchfucking saga

OKAY I'LL SUMMARIZE

So JD Vance is Trump's veep pick to replace Mike Pence (who made the fatal GOP error of following the constitution on J6 2020 and not announcing Trump as eternal godking)

Overall, Vance's rollout since the GOP convention has been

not

great

Now, some important context is that a bunch of extremely sexist and off-putting video has surfaced from previous campaigns, podcasts, etc. For example:

This generated a lot of outrage, as you'd expect, and the current peak result of this quote is major news outlets talking about Jennifer Aniston calling him heartless. Vance's other quotes are driving a lot of news stories, they can be looked up, yadda yadda, but they're not really part of this particular saga.

No, what's really captured people's attention about Vance is this one tweet that someone dashed off:

Damn, it even has page numbers cited! It must be legit, right?

No. It's totally made up. But people wanted to believe, and boy, did they run with it. A sample:

Snopes chimed in with a factcheck on whether that text was in Vance's book, and no, it was not.

The Associated Press tried to do the same, but there's one problem: they phrased their headline a little differently.

And people pointed out that while you can objectively verify whether certain text is contained inside a book, you can't actually verify that Vance has never had sex with a couch! Whether for the AP realizing that they'd posted an unverifiable "factcheck" headline, or for an editor going "why the fuck did you write that in the first place," this soon happened:

Which means that if you try to visit the article saying that no, Vance didn't fuck a couch, you see this:

As many people immediately realized: it's funny to have the AP run its initial headline; it's fucking hilarious for them to pull the factcheck after its publication. The collective hilarity surged even higher.

So. Where things are by July 25th:

So yeah.

Vance's rollout has had some issues.

adding more!

another detour in this saga is someone finding out that vance discovered a video of a dolphin "violating" a woman back in feb 2024. vance did not reblog the video but screenshotted the tweet with the video. vance's caption says "maybe the internet was a mistake." but in his screenshot, we can see "woman" and "dolphin" are in bold, indicating that he searched for these terms using twitter's search function.

so people are making fun of that now too:

And he is getting dunked on from every possible direction.

JAIME IN THE RIVERLANDS II: Bluffs, Bargaining and Baby Trebuchets - Why Jaime Can’t Win at Riverrun

Following ASOS where Jaime’s character development came thick and fast, Jaime of AFFC is stalling by comparison, looking for an outlet and lacking one. He hopes to improve the Kingsguard as its new Commander but it’s in a poor state, saddled with men like Boros Blount and Osmund Kettleblack who are sworn to serve it for life. Meanwhile, his every move is undermined by Cersei’s erratic rule as regent, or the strange counsel she has built around her. He is beside his son, but Tommen can’t know it, and his daily duties involve tedium more often than not. Jaime’s scope has been drastically reduced: there are no bears, there is only Pycelle, and meanwhile his relationship with Cersei is undergoing seismic change that leaves him emotionally adrift. 

HI LET’S SHARE NICOLE’S WORDS ON THE SUBJECT! 

It has been literal years but every time I see Martin’s tweets posted somewhere and his word is shared as truth while her post is not shared it sort of reiterates the fact that we trust men to speak about feminism more than we believe women who experience it. 

Interesting, innit? https://medium.com/@nickyknacks/working-while-female-59a5de3ad266

Reading her account of how their boss treated her blows me away. Men are so emboldened that they will literally admit to illegal discrimination casually and face no consequences.

In all the years of seeing this post I’ve never seen a link to her side. Didn’t even know she’d written one.

Adding screenshots of her post. His whole post is there without needing a link. Hers should be, too.

Also, she posted this is 2017! It’s fucking 2020 and I’ve seen his side of this for years, but it took 3 years for her side to make its way to my dash…

I’ve reblogged his story at least twice; it’s time for Nicole’s.

Reblogged him, bout time I got to reblog her.

My Star Trek friends, reblog with your favourite most ‘out of context’ Star Trek image

I’ll start:

here ya go

Oh my time has COME >:D

Excellent post everyone

star trek heritage post (April 8th, 2020)

Things that I SWEAR I'm not making up about the Star Trek franchise:

you forgot to mention that one of the roswell aliens eventually becomes the pope-king of his capitalism planet

Deep in space, there's a hellish planet, bathed in radiation and rocked by unending storms. There, in the stygian darkness far below its thick, turbulent atmosphere, you will find a single antique revolving door, hanging in the void. Passing through it, you will find a late-20th century Las Vegas casino hotel, where shades that look human endlessly re-enact a terrible pulp novel to amuse the skeleton of a long dead American astronaut.

Broke:

Belle has Stockholm syndrome because she falls in love with the Beast, her kidnapper.

Woke:

Stockholm syndrome was coined to slander a woman who had been in a hostage situation but openly criticized the poor police response which recklessly put her in more danger and escalated the violence. She was then belittled and discredited publically by the police for this.

So. Yeah. Maybe Belle does have Stockholm syndrome actually.

If anyone is curious here is the wikipedia section describing this.

[ID: Gif image from Disney's Beauty and the Beast with Gaston leading a large group of villagers down the road holding a torch. The atmosphere is dark.

Wikipedia screenshot containing the following:

According to accounts by Kristin Enmark, one of the hostages, the police however was acting incompetently, with little care for the hostages' safety, which forced the hostages to negotiate for their life and release with the robbers on their own. In the process the hostages saw the robbers behaving more rationally than police negotiators and therefore developed a deep distrust towards the latter. Enmark had criticized Bejerot specifically for endangering their lives by behaving aggressively and agitating the captors. She had criticized the police for pointing guns at the convicts while the hostages were in the line of fire and she had told news outlets that one of the captors tried to protect the hostages from being caught in the crossfire. She was also critical of prime minister Olof Palme, as she had negotiated with the captors for freedom, but the prime minister told her that she would have to content herself to die at her post rather than give in to the captors' demands. Ultimately, Enmark explained she was more afraid of the police whose attitude seemed to be a much larger, direct threat to her life than the robbers.]

Hope the ID helps, it's my first time writing one.

Here are some other facts you should know about Nils Bejerot: He had a major influence (this involved founding the "Swedish National Association for a Drug-free Society") on Sweden's zero-tolerance approach to drug use.

And he wrote "Barn, Serier, Samhälle" (Children, Comics, Society), basically the Swedish version of "Seduction of the Innocent"; an infamous anti-comics book by Fredric Wertham that led to the Comics Code Authority.

This is the man who coined the phrase "Stockholm syndrome", guys.

a storm of swords dash simulator

🍋ladyjonquil Follow

i don't want to reveal too much but i had a really great day today hawking and riding and received some really exciting news (and maybe a potential marriage offer!) wow wow wow!!! haven't felt like this in so long 🥰

🤡florianthefool Follow

i'm so happy for you my jonquil

🐦littlefinger Follow

thanks for sharing my lady

🏹kissedbyfire Follow

PISSED OFF AT MY BF RN 🤬🤬🤬 NEVER TRUST A SOUTHERNER AND ESPECIALLY NEVER TRUST A CROW!!!!!!!

👸🏼daenerys-targaryen-tracker Follow

🐎raeqqo Follow

by the law of the dothraki she must return to vaes dothrak to take her place alongside the crones of the dosh khaleen. it is known.

🐉3heads Follow

shut up and go sack a defenseless city or something

🍁weirwoodzz Follow

hey do you guys remember when theon greyjoy took winterfell last year and killed the stark boys? has anyone heard anything else about that? feel like it kind of just disappeared from the news cycle, what happened to greyjoy?

🪓cerwynnation Follow

lord bolton's bastard killed him

🍁weirwoodzz Follow

oh really? wow. kind of extreme but deserved i guess

💗ramsays-sharpest-blade Follow

Ramsay isn't a bastard, King Joffrey legitimized him two months ago and Lord Roose is going to make him castellan of the Dreadfort soon. He loves his son and trusts his abilities. Plus, Ramsay is being awarded for his efforts in saving Winterfell and putting a stop to the ironborn raids in the North by being betrothed to Arya Stark—would a bastard be granted that honor? I don't think so.

Also, Theon isn't dead, Ramsay is (rightfully) flaying him for his crimes in the dungeons beneath the Dreadfort. Gods, I'd love to see Ramsay thrust the knife under his skin!!!!! 😜

#ramsay bolton #house bolton #our blades are sharp #theon greyjoy

🐐the-goat Follow

i'm boutta come into thome real money real thoon 😈 💎💎💎💎💯

🏰freygirl73 Follow

ughhhh my sister is getting married tmrw and my brothers keep going on about getting revenge on king robb while he's here for the feast... like i just wanted some food :/// iswtg that's the only good thing about my siblings weddings and now they're saying there won't even be any and i'm gonna have to go into hiding before the bedding ceremony or something. why can't my family just be NORMAL

🐟greenfork Follow

TW: Red Wedding, death, violence

A masterpost on what happened at the Twins and what it means for the Northern independence cause, the War of the Five Kings, and the realm in general.

Also a bunch of links on how you can help people affected in the Riverlands.

Keep Reading

🍵bowlobrown Follow

HELL YEAH BROTHER 🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀

🔥heatofdorne Follow

i wanna ***** ********* on ellaria sand's **** and *** ****** then call in oberyn and ***** **** them both until **** *****

🤎pate7534 Follow

🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀

🌊onthesunsetsea Follow

why are there so many crabs on my dash rn

🐺direwolfing Follow

TYWIN LANNISTER IS DEAD 🦀🦀🦀🦀

💙cassssanna Follow

actually i think it's still for king joffrey

🦁lann1sporter Follow

lol i thought it was for robb stark

🥂arborgold Follow

maybe it's for the mountain?

⬛️ freezingmyarseoffonthewall Follow

DOLOROUS EDD LORD COMMANDER 300 AC

⬛️ freezingmyarseoffonthewall Follow

DOLOROUS EDD WILL LEAD US TO VICTORY AGAINST THE OTHERS

🕊️ just-a-humble-sparrow Follow

mother have mercy i was walking by the great sept of baelor (i wanted to pay my respects to our blessed king joffrey) but i was blocked by a knight of the kingsguard—i believe it was one of the kettleblacks, unfortunately i always forget which one has been elevated to the kingsguard—because the queen was keeping vigil over her son, so i prayed outside instead. yet only a few minutes passed when i swear i saw the kingslayer arrive (he seemed to be missing a hand!) and enter. then, and this is the most disturbing part, i swear to the father that i heard noises of fornication coming from inside! i know for a fact that the only other person inside was the queen mother. could the rumors be true? i feel dirty even writing this. i wonder if i should tell my septon.

❤️‍🔥stannis-sweep Follow

stannis has literally been telling y'all and you didn't listen 🙄

🏳️ bannerless Follow

is it just me or is lady stoneheart kinda 👀

feastdance dashboard simulator

💋queen-cersei-defense-squad Follow

it’s so sick that people keep criticizing queen cersei as if she’s not the first female ruler of westeros??? literally elevating bastards and women to her small council is super fucking progressive as is creating the precedent of dismissing unfit kingsguard??

🪨dragonstoner Follow

aren’t all of her children literally bastards born of incest

💋 queen-cersei-defense-squad Follow

oh so now you’re going to listen to stannis baratheon, known misogynist, kinslayer, fornicator, team green supporter, and homophobe, huh.

🦑pykedyke

okay guys i know there’s no “perfect candidate” but you have to vote in the kingsmoot anyways not voting is how someone like e****n g*****y wins and literally anyone is better than him. suck it up and row to the polls

🦈reaveherihardlyknowher

ohhhh not this “vote your crew no matter who” “blue lips man bad” bullshit again. fuck off idgaf which godless man sits the seastone chair i’m not voting for asha shes literally a neoliberal

🦷 lastoftheegiants

first i had to give up my rights and then i had to give up my gods just to not get killed by fucking wights but i literally cannot believe the nights watch made me give up my strap as part of the treasure ransom. shit was expensive it was IVORY. i hate southerners so much i hope the lord commander dies

🌪️kinslayerr

DO NOT COME TO THE RIVERLANDS

🍓silverspurs Follow

why

🌪️kinslayerr

there’s riverlands here

🧜‍♂️theythemderly

freys

🌾maidencool

my cousin got eaten by rats in harrenhal

🐎brackennation Follow

dumb cunts wearing raven feather cloaks strutting around who think they’re better than you but they’re not better than you

🌟sevenstar

i saw a guy get killed and then just stand back up and start fighting again because his friend kissed him on the mouth down here once

🦌whitehart

giant feral pack of 60 wolves running around

🍓silverspurs Follow

ok understandable have a nice day

🫧bastardwaters

i hate the fucking sparrows can we be normal for five minutes or can we just not have shit in the crownlands

☠️real-stormlands-patriot Follow

ITS LORD COMMANDOVER #RIPBOZO

🐦‍⬛mormonts-raven-bot Follow

CORN! DEATH! CORN!

(CAW! I follow members of the Night's Watch to remind them of their oaths!)

🦷 lastoftheegiants

????

🍋floriansjonquil

Keep Reading

🪻maidens-smile Follow

girl this is notttttt the time he literally just fucking died at dragonstone?

💎oathkeeper

should’ve stanned jaime #LORASFELLOFF

💐flowerknight

one kill yourself jaime lannister is an honorless kingslaying turncloak two i heard loras tyrell was literally fine?

👊fleabottomtop

lord davos seaworth, the class traitor from the stannis baratheon administration, is a nasty little thottie and just died from making it clap in white harbor

🌅girlheir

this tower fucking sucks.

🌅girlheir

i’m just like rhaenyra targaryen for real

🌅girlheir

🐀ratcook5000 Follow

people meat tastes good asf when you don’t have a wench in your ear saying it violates guest right

🐺threeeyedwolf

🍒ladylance

need that targ girl in mereen to get those lizards over here and liberate this website by any means necessary cause what the fuck is going on

dragon age dashboard simulator

🏙️ thechampginon Follow

literally DNI if you think shipping the champion with their REAL LIFE friends is okay. i can't believe i have to explain this to people. RPF destroys lives.

🧀 tethrasbitch Follow

"RPF is fine." - Varric Tethras

🏕️ meribella Follow

op is mad because i said hawke and seneschal bran fucked btw

(2721 notes)

🌿 quirkyorlesian Follow

I want to go to Ferelden.

I will spell couleur as colour and work on a farm. I would spend all night in The Pearl while drinking ale with my mates. I'll have cheese every day that's worth 1 silver. I would go to war and die. I am also more likely to meet bandits, The Hero of Ferelden and The Queen.

I wish I was Fereldan. :(

🐄 cheesegirl Follow

sick and fucking tired of mutuals putting this on the dash. yeah haha funny joke. fereldan stereotypes are so fucking harmful and irritating, you realise cheese is actually one of our major exports? that op is joking about working on a farm, a hard and painful line of work, whole being orlesian nobility? if someone made a post like this about kirkwall i know people would be shitting and crying lmfao

🌾 fereldan-detector Follow

Fereldan.

(18,000 notes)

⚫ magerights-deactivated090331

Need to get dicked down again :-/

🎇 firegirlballs Follow

This was his last post before blowing up the chantry btw. getting dicked down in your honour tonight king 🫡

🐜 faggotkirkwall Follow

what no dick does to a mage

🎉 mageheritageposts Follow

Heritage post.

(182, 172 notes)

🌌 elfroot Follow

She dark on my spawn till i hurlock

🎉 wardencommander Follow

i hurlock on her taint til she enters my deep roads

🌌 elfroot Follow

(128, 817 notes)

🍊 fujoshiandraste Follow

situationship with the girl in my alienage going really bad everyone like it's literally over for me 👍🏻

#can we get another blight soon or something i cant do this anymore

(5 notes)

🌠 makerstits Follow

☄️ mabariboy Follow

What the fuck happened to this poll .

(172 notes)

⚔️ sickoelf Follow

i think i hauve the blight

#thought about the cycles of violence in hard in hightown again #varric tethras when i GET YOU

(15 notes)

you’re hearing it more and more

Spotify Premium ad: “Imagine playing music without interruptions! Infinite skipping! Replay the song you want! And even do it offline? No ads! Whatever songs you want! For a small monthly payme-” Me: *nods, turns off Spotify and turns on my MP3 player and does all the things they offer, but for free and with songs they don’t even have*

For those of you who might not know how to do any of this:

You don’t need to be tethered to an online streaming service for your music. Be free.

You can also rip audio files from youtube and find files all over the internet. It is far easier to come across great and lesser known music if you dont limit yourself to spotify.

Here’s a tutorial on how to get the music and playlists you like with unlimited listening/downloads. This is a free way to do it that I believe is a balance between cost, time, and pros & cons:

1. Find the song on Youtube. YT has pretty much every song at this point, usually in comparable quality to what you would get on a streaming service.

2. Download the audio from YT. There are many ways to download YT videos completely for free. It’s probably against the YT terms of service, but you’re not going to get sued.

3. Upload to your music player/manager of choice. The file will currently be lacking metadata (Artist, Album, track number, etc) and will be added to the library as a song with its title set as the file name minus its .mp3 extension. Various music players/managers have different ways to add metadata (usually accessed by right-clicking the song) with varying ease.

4. Now you can use the player of your choice to listen endlessly, form playlists, etc. Some free music managers also have music discovery/recommendation features for expanding your collection.

There are many music managers/players, including cross-platform ones with streaming, though they usually have fees for that feature. Because you aren’t streaming the music and rather storing it, you’ll need space on each device you want to play the music on, but memory is cheap these days.

I do encourage people to pay for art, especially from small, independent artists. You have to pay for art if you want to keep it alive, but there is debate over if streaming services are really “paying the artist”. Alternatives include buying and ripping CDs, purchasing merch or tour tickets (where artists make a lot of their money), etc to support them with something other than streaming views.

ID. a tweet from Don Hughes @/getfiscal dated Feb 18 21. it reads, “Started imagining paying for Spotify for the next thirty or so years and got a bit dizzy, cancelled a bunch of subscriptions, installed Linux on my computer and then pulled out my old CDs to rip. Going caveman.” End ID.

Seconding MusicBee! Also, you can use a library subscription to access Freegal, which allows (depending on your library system) up to five free downloads a week. Completely free, actually legal, yours to keep, no DRM or any crap like that.

For indie producers, always check if they have something like Bandcamp! Bandcamp lets you download as well, and has significantly higher royalties going to the actual artists (Spotify pays them… very little).

Jsyk, winamp rips cds natively.  You can set whatever bitrate you like.  Been doing *that* since last century. 

It’s that time again:

Don’t forget that you can borrow CD’s from your local library! Borrow, rip, repeat ad infinitum!

for playing mp3s on android - musicolet, very customizable, bajillions of options, and you can edit the metadata in-app including album art and lyric files

on firefox - there’s a youtube video downloader add-on that lets you do it from page, though only as video - but most video players have an export-as-audio option

If you have installation privileges, I would strongly suggest Mediahuman’s audio downloader which, in addition to scraping youtube audio can also capture from a variety of other sites, is highly configurable, does not rely on a website provider choosing not to become malware, AND downloads/converts the audio in around the amount of time it would take that video to load?