I am a suave detective in the 1930s. This is acceptable.

I’m the emperor of the known universe and wow is there a LOT of sand around here.

General question to reblog and tell me in the tags;

You go into a used bookstore - what are the two sections you head to first?

duality of man

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

Okay here’s an ask game

Send me a ship and I’ll answer three questions based on if I ship it or not.

Ship It

Don’t Ship It

fanfic writers: if you were shown nothing but the title of one of your own fics, do you think you would be able to remember which one it is

go to this random coordinates generator and say in the tags how you would fare if you were dropped where it generates without warning. i’ll go first i’d be dropped in the middle of the fucking south atlantic ocean and perish

Ocean

Ocean

Ocean

Ocean

Mount Grefell National Park in Australia

Ocean

Ocean

Ocean

Ocean

Ocean

Ocean

Ocean

Ocean

Ocean

Ocean

Ocean

BRASIL ☝️☝️☝️🏆🏆🇧🇷

Ocean

Ocean

Ocean

Ocean

Ocean

Couple of kilometers off the coast of India, but still... Ocean.

*sigh* Ocean 😔

TEXAS 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅🦅

Ocean

Ocean

Ocean

RUSSIA

Ocean

ocean

Ocean

Got Bones? (Printable)

Hey, I made a printable .PNG version of that “got bones” flyer if anyone wants to make a few copies to hang up in real life and cause some minor chaos around their town. Have fun, feel free to send me pics if you stick it up anywhere

I should specify, for those who are apprehensive:

- The phone number attached to this poster is real, and works.

- It’s not a random stranger’s number, please don’t worry. I set the number up specifically for this piece.

- You will not get a live person on the line, it’s just a pre-recorded message (unless my finger slips and I accidentally answer one of the incoming calls, in which case I will inevitably panic and immediately hang up)

- It does, however, cost me like nine bucks a month to keep this text app phone number running for the sake of the joke. Which isn’t a lot, but I’m honestly pretty broke these days. So if this poster amuses you and you want to chip in to help this thing live on so other people can call the number, you can toss me a dollar or something over on my Ko-Fi page. I’m gonna try to keep it public and live for as long as I feasibly can, however.

This is genuinely the funniest possible result that could have come out of this whole thing, I approve

Fanfiction Readers and writers, Reblog this and tell in the notes your favorite fic from the person you Reblogged from, and if you’re feeling extra nice, why?

[ID: A tweet from @/Howsito reading “You are now cursed with the job that the main character has in the last movie/TV show you watched. What’s your new profession?” /End ID]

You have now fucked the character on your desktop/mobile wallpaper.

How fucked are you?

It’s the Curiosity rover. How did that even happen.

WTF mountain range. 

A calm, grassy plain. …Does this count as a roll in the hay?

it’s a cartoon version of me…. AHHHHH YEAAAAAHAHHHH!!!!! Doubly fucked!

Captain America’s shield. 

Uhhhhh…..

*satisfied smile*

Nate: i have made Leverage

Hardison: you fucked up perfectly good criminals is what you did. look at them. they’ve got morals.

go find what a fic of ur life would be tagged as on ao3

now with more foot fetish that’s horrible

Sappy seaside smut

Well, you’re not wrong…

domestic fairy angst

drunk mermaid femslash

canon-compliant elfin blowjobs *spittake*

Canon-compliant all-American OCs

I’ll take it.

dangerous library smut

….hee

now with more fbi handjobs

“vintage assassin blowjobs”

Ahahahahahaha yes good

afuckinghugedog

do that thing where you reblog this and write your fave ot3 in the tags

test my dashboard osmosis abilities

send me an ask about a fandom i know nothing about(or a fandom I’m not in) and i will summarize it as best i can

YES ALL OTHER VERSIONS OF THIS MEME CAN GO HOME.