Healing Is Not Linear

I promise that a beautiful and happy life is still obtainable for you, no matter how much of it you lost because of your trauma. It’s not fair that you lost so much of it due to trauma. And you deserved so much better. But you can still make a beautiful and happy life for yourself.

You're allowed to call people out for being mean or invalidating you. You don't have to build up resentment inside. It isn't rude to speak your truth.

Your trauma is valid even if you were trying to get their approval or love.

It’s okay if you thought you were over it but it hits you all over again.

It’s okay to fall apart even after you had it under control.

You are not weak. Healing is messy. And there is no timeline for healing.

From my book "A Survivor's Guilt."

it takes such strength to hold onto the belief that better days are coming, even when you're experiencing some of your worst. it's much easier to succumb to believing you're never getting out of the dark or the work won't be worth it. i'm proud of anyone who's holding on.

when things seem bad, you just need to keep going and turn the page :))

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but please let your self cry and feel and hurt. let the pain leave your body. the longer it stays there, the more it will hurt you.

if you've lost years of your life to abuse or mental illness, please know it's not too late for you. it's never too late for you. you can do everything you dreamed of when you were a kid - there's still time. you have time to shape yourself and your life into what you want. there is no time limit on happiness.

Being lazy is a choice. Being lazy means actively choosing not to do something because you don't care to. If you want to do the thing in question or intend to do it, but something is stopping you for whatever reason, that's definitely not laziness. That's not you being lazy - that's you facing an internal barrier and that's not on you.

you’ve got it— this week. the next week. you’ve got this.

you are not broken.

you are growing.

I’m sorry if you’re in a space where you have to carry your burdens alone. This won’t last forever. Someday the right people will come into your life, people who can and will happily help you hold the weight.

something I've recently learned: if outright positive thoughts are too difficult for you, you can try something called "bridge thoughts" which are essentially thoughts that aren't really inherently negative or positive. things like "maybe im not as embarrassing as i think I am", "maybe im not as ugly as i think" or "maybe someone could possibly find me likeable". if you try to go from "everything is terrible and i want to die" to "i love life and i want to live!" cold turkey a lot of times its just ineffective. you need to take those small steps towards changing your mindset first, and then eventually you can say "i love life and i want to live!" and actually mean it.