Evil Cult Priest Era

I didn't mean to send ALL of that text. But I just think I couldn't stop once I started and it's not out of hate or anger. I really, really hope you won't take all of this as an attack, because it isn't. I'm just sad. I'm not spitting hate I'm trying to put my heart in this and I'm so terrified you'll get angry. I feel like walking on eggshells but this is probably the last thing I can think of because don't you think I miss you? Following you without being afraid? I do. I had to block you, because you tag in the fandom and write things that hurt. The last straw was the way you wrote you hurt yourself trying t draw if I have to be honest. At first I only left, then I had to find a way to protect myself. And yet sometimes I unlock to return and I realize blocking was the right choice. Sometimes you don't say anything, you are calm. And sometimes out of the blue you jab again. And I'm doing this anonymously because like I said I'm scared. I'm afraid you'll take this as a personal attack when I'm just sad. I'm sad because I followed you. And I wish I could turn back without getting hurt every time. I'm being as honest as I can. I don't know what you can do about people who blocked you. New people will arrive. You can start over again, with them turn a new leaf. But I can't say more than, just try to control this anger you feel. Try not to attack innocents, try to not blame or judge others. Do what you want others to do to you. You want fanart? Maybe make fanart of AUs too. Link Fan fictions to support artists since AO3 has no reblog option. But until you will continue this way you've been going down, I can't stay. Vents can happen. But you blame others and even when you blame yourself you don't seem to truly see what you do. I was very honest so far, I don't want to attack, I only wish I could stay. But I must protect myself.

Lack of interaction bothers everyone, you're not saying things that don't make sense. It hurts and it's relatable. Problem is that the more you complain about people not interacting, the faster they'll leave. For example, its not true you never had fanart of your AUs. I remember when you got both text and art for it. You still do sometimes. Less than I could say about me myself, you know? Or many others in this community. You're lucky because you are one of the few people who can say this happened to them. Everyone wants it. You had it and yet you complain it's not enough. It's normal that people who did, might not feel appreciated by you anymore. Because you don't seem to remember it. Sometimes you make comments about how weird it is that people don't like the way you draw Faith characters, but at the same time you jab at those who draw John or Garcia looking too slim for your standards. Or too young. Once a person got nervous, tagging the fandom and telling them to stop drawing John in ships with old men. You didn't like to read that, rightfully like many others. Because people draw what they like. And yet you tag in the fandom and say things like "finally people stop drawing him as a twink! He's not one!" as if you are the only right one here. Maybe they also use their bodies as reference. You're angry and you don't realize you hurt people with what you say. You also talk about how you want your ship to be liked more but people like what they want. Insisting won't change anything. You act like you're the only unlucky one with nobody posting John and Garcia. If people don't like it, you can't make them like it. Which isn't even true, since there are many fan fictions out there on AO3. How many did you link on your page, saying "hey, fellow followers, go read this one!" to give them a hand? How many fan art did you draw for those people who like a ship you say to be less famous? There are people out there that I've seen liking ships I don't even care about who support each other. Such small ships that are even hard to consider. They don't attack, they don't insist. Criticizing Garyjohn and having people leave happened because not many like to have something they like criticized, people get touchy. But it also depends on how you write it. For example I don't care about Garyjohn. I don't even like it, I just shrug and ignore exactly as I shrug an ignore Johncia, because yes. I don't like it. Yet I followed you. Neither are ships I like but that infamous thing that happened some days ago on AO3 made me very angry too. You never did something like that. But you won't decide how sensitive a person is to things they like. About the pillows, it was an investment you decided to do by yourself. I don't know how many people wanted it, how many didn't see it. But it's not always other's fault if your art doesn't get reblogged, if you didn't reach enough people. I don't know how marketing works. I don't know how you guess how many people might be interested or not. This time it went poorly, and it hurts. But it's not our fault. And, we never wanted you to get hurt from drawing too much. Yet you had to almost make us all feel guilty because of that. Because you got hurt. I didn't want you to get hurt. I never told you to work faster and harder.

You ask why people don’t follow you. I speak for myself: I followed you once, but with time you became passive aggressive. You sound like the way you portray Faith characters is the only right one. You look at ask blog and judge saying “he wouldn’t do it”. And when people don’t like your art you even said you hurt your hands drawing so the least we could do was to reblog your things. I felt blamed. I felt uncomfortable. I felt judged. That’s why. It has nothing to do with what you draw. Or how.

ooo Airdorf commented on your art again! Take that people with bad taste!