A ceratopsian opens its eyes in heaven. Not for the first time; it’s been grazing contentedly on the leaves of Paradise for eons—at least 105 million years. The dinosaur afterlife is a good one. But today is a special day. Our ceratopsian hears a great clamour of voices rising from the Earth. For today is the day human beings discovered its butthole, and it’s all they can talk about. Every flap, every pocket, the texture, the colour, the orientation, the content. Of its... buttholé
“wanna see the dragon?”
“what dragon?”
“dragon deez aching bones across the benighted earth”
i really enjoy when you make a new post and pre-tag it 'favourite posts retrospective'
i already know i’ll want to find it again!! if i don’t tag it now, i might never!!
In the Star Wars universe, dancers in musical theatre often perform an exuberant gesture known as “jizz hands”
“Chamberlain! Doth this gambeson not make me look jack’d af?”
“Shit, m’lord, it sure doth!”
Okay guys, I just looked it up on Wikipedia, and it said that actually all movie theatres, stage and music venues, and sports arenas are run by ascetics who believe that the body is corrupt. But, for the sake of non-ascetics, they are willing to provide food as a concession to their guests’ disgusting and evil bodily needs. That’s why they’re called concessions.
Maybe they’re called concessions like in an argument. I get some overpriced M&Ms whenever they have to acknowledge a good point I’ve made. I get a li’l concession as a treat.
I like that food at shows and other events are called concessions. Like, what, are we negotiating a treaty? Yes I accept your overpriced M&Ms and you shall marry my second daughter, now long may peace prevail between our houses.
every day of my life ends in “WHY?!?!?!” when i scream it from my knees at the relentless heavens
@asimplecreature asked:
what's your SotE setup? is there Wizard Bullshit you haven't tried but would like to? and if you were forbidden from the practice of Wizard Bullshit, what would you do first?
So, you might recall that I hundred-percented the game and then lost all my data. So, when the DLC was announced, I knew I’d have to start again from scratch. I basically remade the character I had before—a more or less balanced Dex/Int magic knight-type build. Yes, I favour the same kind of build as Elon Musk; no, I didn’t pump Int to 60 to satisfy my vanity. (My character is not me—I am confident in my real-life Intelligence score of at least 70 because I can cast Rennala’s Moon for real and have even done it by accident, but my poor character can’t be expected to function at my level.) From games hate balance so I know I’m not minmaxed and I’d be ass in PvP, but I’m all about versatility and having a tool for every situation. Anyway, cross naginata with Ice Spear is so OP I can cruise through practically anything with middling stats, and for everything else, there’s Shard Spiral, Rock Sling, Magma Shot, or Glintstone Icecrag.
I started a Dex/Faith build (in honour of my BG3 waifu Shadowheart) but I didn’t really get it, you know? I couldn’t get my head around it. Maybe I’ll try it again some time and hope something clicks. As for Wizard Bullshit—to be honest, I think I’d find a true caster build awkward. Sorceries for me are backup weapons, and I’d really have to reconsider my whole approach if I had to focus on them. Maybe a NG+ goal, since I could get a long way with the Int my base character already has. If I had to do No Sorceries, I’d probably just do a straight Strength build, and maybe futz around with the halberd or something to recreate my Dark Souls guy.
I’m as excited as anyone for the new DLC weapons, but I doubt anything can compete with cross naginata for me. I’m hoping for some cool new Cold sorceries and skills that I might add to the ol’ toolkit arsenal.
(me refusing a commercial transaction with someone i openly despise) pleasure don’ting business with you
In Esperanto, they don’t say “fuck off.” They say forfikiĝu, which means “become fucked away.” And I think that’s beautiful.
I eat a grape. I cough.
“Grape’s revenge?” @fourpatch asks.
“A little juice went down the wrong pipe.”
“It’s such a design flaw!” she says.
“Well,” I say, “it’s written that we were made in the image of God, who sometimes also chokes on grapes.”
WOMEN WANT FISH
I FEAR ME
… my heart was in jizz, and my mind and my roots were in jizz and … I wanted to make a record that was sort of this mix of beautiful jizz undertones and an Outer Rim fusion….
—Lana Del Reylo
imagine being a crimester and you get caught because someone recognizes you from a really ugly composite sketch
We are watching Dexter. The opening credits are playing. We’re up to season 4, but just now I notice something for the first time.
“Who eats the ham before cooking the eggs?” I say.
“He’s a serial killer, Jeremy!” says @fourpatch , her agitation increasing with each syllable. “He’s a freak! He’s a weirdo!”
I don’t have the courage to correct her: serial unaliver.
