#transphobia mention – @transgenderteensurvivalguide on Tumblr

Anonymous asked:

Do you know if tattoo parlors can deny me service for asking for pride tattoos? I’ve seen some that say that artists are allowed to not want to do your design (I’m thinking if it’s something political or stuff like that) but I’m scared. Has anyone been denied service for pride tattoos?

Devon says:

These are the reasons that tattoo artists typically refuse to do a design, from what I have seen. Some tattoo artists will not care about those reasons, and do the tattoo anyways. It varies like anything else.

They have already done an identical tattoo on someone else. This is like if you show them a photo of a tattoo that they did before, and ask for that tattoo. They might then show you a slightly different design and ask if you want that instead.
You are requesting a tattoo that is someone else’s artwork; some tattoo artists only do tattoos that are their own artwork.
You are underage or inebriated.
The design promotes hate.
The design promotes something else illegal, like drug use-- I have never seen a tattoo artist who would refuse to ink based on this reasoning, but I feel like some might.
The design is too complicated/difficult and they feel like they can’t make it as well as they would want to.
The design isn’t in their style; some artists only ink in a particular style. They might show you a different design, using the same elements but in their own style.
You express that you might regret getting the tattoo.

There of course could be other reasons that I haven’t heard before, as well! I’m not a tattoo artist.

Depending on where you live, it might be illegal to refuse service based on sexual orientation or gender identity, so you should look into that. Anti-discrimination laws don’t always stop people, though.

You can usually message or call a tattoo artist / place before hand to ask about particular tattoos. Then you can ask if they would be open to doing a pride design without the trouble of going to the place, and with the possibility of remaining anonymous since it is not in person.

Also, I personally wouldn’t want to get a tattoo from an artist who I’m not comfortable with. So if there was an artist that was discriminatory or even if I got any sort of bad vibes (and since I am lucky enough to have many tattoo places near me) I would just leave and go somewhere else. -- That’s just my opinion though.

If the design you want is, like, the colors of a pride flag, you could just show them the colors that you want, and not tell them that it’s for pride. Though they might recognize it.

If you know any trans folks with tattoos in your area, you could ask them where they got them. And if you see a stranger with a pride tattoo, if you are comfortable doing so you could go up to them and ask where they got it-- in my experience people are most often happy to talk about their tattoos.

Hope some of that is helpful to you!

Followers, comment if you have personal experience with this!

Followers say:

patmolandcornedrue said: some artists who can afford to be picky might only tattoo things that interest them, but if you’re planning on going to a streetside shop you’ll probably find an artist willing to do almost any design, or they’ll send you to a colleague who’s better at that style. check out the websites and social media of local shops/artists (espcially instagram), i bet you’ll find someone who’s done pride designs before (check reviews anyway, for any tattoo place, don’t get sick!)

p-1-l-0-t said: my experience with tattoo parlors is that many are very inclusive, they are usually very chill and there are so many LGBT+ artists, also a good thing it’s that if you live in a big city or near one you have so many artists to choose from, ask beforehand if they could make you a pride tattoo or honestly search for a LGBT+ artist so they can understand and come up with a more inspired design

kirishimaybe said: Hey! I’m getting a pride tattoo to mark stonewalls 50th anniversary, and I looked around and found an actual lgbt artist to do it :) that way i feel completely safe with spending 3 hours with them

#devon says #tattoo #tattoos #pride tattoos #pride tattoo #drug mention #drug m #drugs #alcohol mention #alcohol m #alcohol #transphobia mention #transphobia m #transphobia #discrimination #Anonymous

transgenderteensurvivalguide

Anonymous asked:

Ok idk if you can answer this but I’m really hoping to come out and transition in college, unfortunately I’m going to a small town military college(Barton community). It’s free for two years so I could just put it off cause cmon, free college. That way I can save for hormones. Idk ;; any thoughts?

Devon says:

[It sounds like you’ve already committed to this college, but if you haven’t, one possibility is that you could try to look for other affordable colleges in different places. Some community colleges still have applications open for Fall 2019.]

Just checking out the Barton Community College website, I found that there is a student-run Gay Straight Alliance there. So, if you visit the college, perhaps you could attend a GSA meeting to see what it’s like, and to see if there are any other trans people there.

However Kansas state does not have any laws in place protecting people from discrimination on the basis of gender identity. And looking at the college website, it seems like they don’t have any support systems in place for trans students.

I can’t decide for you whether coming out now or in two years would be better for you, so I would suggest looking online for decision making exercises, or talking the idea over with a close friend, a supportive family member, or a therapist.

Here is a post about saving money for top surgery (which costs a lot more than hormones) but the information should still be helpful for you! To save money for hormones or any college expenses.

If you do decide to come out at college, our coming out page has a lot of resources, including these sections:

How do I come out to teachers/professors?

How do I come out at college?

Hope this helps!

This is obviously a big decision that you are making, and the mods can’t make that decision for you. But if you have any more specific questions, we would be happy to try to answer them!

And, this is a long shot, but if any followers have experience with Barton Community College, comment on this post!

#devon says #barton community college #kansas #coming out #college #community college #hormones #saving money #money #caps #transphobia mention #transphobia m #Anonymous

transgenderteensurvivalguide

Anonymous asked:

Advice for switching to they/them pronouns??🙈

Devon says:

First off, check out our coming out page!

Even if you are already out as trans (which I obviously don’t know), you can use some of the resources in that page to help you to tell people about your new pronouns.

Our nonbinary resources page has information about pronouns, some of which you may find helpful:

When I started going by different pronouns, it took a few people in my life a long time to adjust, but they ended up being super supportive. There were also some people who never used my correct pronouns, and it turns out that my life is great without those people.

So my personal advice is to hang in there, and remember that your gender and pronouns are valid no matter what people say.

That’s just my take! Everyone has a different experience of course. Followers, feel free to comment any advice you have about switching to they/them pronouns.

Anon, send in another ask if you have a more specific question! Best of luck.

#devon says #pronouns #they them pronouns #nonbinary #coming out #switching pronouns #transphobia mention #transphobia m #neutral pronouns #Anonymous

transgenderteensurvivalguide

Anonymous asked:

my friend is writing a story where the main character falls in love with a guy. the guy comes out as gay, so the mc pretends to be a trans guy in order to be with him. its not like the mc is trans or anything, the author has specifically planned for the mc to have been cis all along, and has willingly and intentionally lied to the guy just for the sake of relationship. i want to tell her that this is wrong but i cant find the words to say it. any help?

Devon says:

If your friend is just writing the story for fun and not publishing it or anything, it might not be worth your energy to convince them to change it, in my opinion.

Here’s my take on the issue: Characters can be flawed/problematic/bad people/villains, including main characters (though it is different if the writer thinks the character is in the right). Also, this story does seem to be perpetuating the narrative that trans folks are making stuff up / lying about being trans. I think they should definitely include some characters who are actually trans in their story as well, if they continue writing it. And also include stuff humanizing the love interest beyond being a gay guy, make sure it’s acknowledged that he was taken advantage of / lied to / victimized. Also.... In the TV show Skins they have an arc about a cis girl character who dresses up like a guy because she wants to date a gay guy (this is definitely a problematic show for many reasons, and also trigger warning for sex, drugs, alcohol, etc, in almost every episode). If you show that to your friend, they might be discouraged from writing the story because it’s already kinda been done, haha.

Here are our interpersonal resources, which might help you in communicating with your friend about this. And you could share our ally resources with your friend, which includes a link to this post about writing trans characters.

#devon says #ally resources #writing trans characters #representation #drugs mention #alcohol mention #sex mention #transphobia mention #friends #Anonymous

transgenderteensurvivalguide reblogged

questingqueer

Opinion | Being Trans Is Not a Mental Disorder

When will the American Psychiatric Association finally stop treating it like it is?

www.nytimes.com

[Image description: A cartoon of someone forcing their way out of the pages of a book. /End ID]

“Forty-five years ago, members of the American Psychiatric Association decided, by a slim 58 percent majority, to remove “homosexuality” from the list of mental disorders in its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. In his old age, the great gay rights activist Frank Kameny recalled Dec. 15, 1973, as the day “when we were cured en masse by the psychiatrists.”

In a single stroke, the A.P.A. helped transform homosexuality from a medical condition to a social identity. It would take another 27 years for the World Health Organization to eliminate homosexuality from its own classification of mental disorders in the International Classification of Diseases, the comprehensive manual of some 55,000 diagnostic codes that doctors everywhere use for diagnosis and insurance reimbursement. But this summer, the W.H.O. beat the A.P.A. to the punch on another issue — transgender rights — by moving “gender incongruence” from its chapter on mental health to its chapter on sexual health. On its website, under the heading “Small Code, Big Impact,” the W.H.O. says that gender incongruence is a sexual health condition for which people may seek medical services, but that “the evidence is now clear that it is not a mental disorder.”

The A.P.A. should now do the same by eliminating its category of gender dysphoria, a technical term for people unhappy because of their gender incongruence. It would be an important step in advancing transgender rights and reducing the stigma and prejudice that people experience when, because of nothing they or anyone else did wrong, they cannot abide the sex they were assigned at birth.

The 1973 decision on homosexuality taught us that we shouldn’t expect too much too quickly. Indeed, Frank Kameny overstated the A.P.A.’s power for sarcastic effect. Most of the 42 percent who objected clung to the psychoanalytic view articulated by Sigmund Freud in 1914 that homosexuality was a developmental problem. Nor did the A.P.A. immediately excise homosexuality from the D.S.M. As a compromise, the organization retained diagnoses in subsequent editions to denote people unhappy about being homosexual — ego dystonic homosexuality, for example — and eliminated homosexuality completely only in the 1987 revision.

History is now repeating itself. Echoing the compromise on homosexuality, the A.P.A. decided in 2013 not to remove gender incongruence entirely from the D.S.M. but to change “gender identity disorder” to “gender dysphoria,” just a slight tweak of the equivalent word “ego-dystonic” that had been paired with homosexuality in the 1980s. The worthy aim of coining this new diagnosis was to lessen the stigma of gender incongruence. But as was the case with the short-lived “ego-dystonic homosexuality,” the A.P.A. is just delaying the inevitable.

Jack Drescher, who was a member of the A.P.A.’s work group on sexual and gender identity disorders, cautions that there is one crucial difference. “Unlike homosexuality,” he told me, “we wanted to retain a gender category so that people could get access to services, and insurance coverage for hormone therapy and gender-affirming surgeries.”

However, that goal could be achieved by following the W.H.O.’s pragmatic approach, which says that gender incongruence is not a mental illness. For the W.H.O. it is a physical health concern with a billable insurance code. For trans people who want mental health care, psychiatrists can still bill for whatever mental illness category is most appropriate.

After all, being transgender does not immunize someone from anxiety, depression or any other mental illness. Why should the transgender person who is sad, tired and losing weight have “gender dysphoria” while a straight or gay person with the same symptoms has “depression?”

Being trans should be a personal or social identity, not a psychiatric one. Indeed, for many transgender rights advocates, a category of gender dysphoria makes no more sense than having a category of mobility dysphoria for someone distressed by a lifelong need for a wheelchair, or African-American dysphoria for people who experience emotional distress associated with discrimination against them as minorities.

“Gender dysphoria” also puts the responsibility on trans people for their suffering, and not on the social and moral environment that stigmatizes them. According to the National Center for Transgender Equality, about half of all people who identified as, or were perceived to be, transgender while still in school (K-12) report being verbally harassed, and nearly a quarter report being physically assaulted because they were transgender. More than a third of all transgender individuals have attempted suicide at least once. Civil rights protections for trans people will be at even greater risk if, as has been widely reported, the Trump administration seeks to define sex under Title IX as either male or female and as unchangeable.

The conservative reaction to gender nonconformity is that it is a violation of nature, but many biologists and anthropologists disagree. While reproduction occurs between males and females, there is nothing natural about limiting all sexual behavior to male-female pairs or all gender identities to male and female. Between 1 percent and 2 percent of all human births qualify as intersex and, in fact, many societies have multiple genders and do not presume they are psychiatric or physical disorders at all. The hijras in India are neither male nor female — though most were born with male genitalia — and are generally revered. In Indonesia, on the island of Sulawesi, there are three sexes and five genders. In Polynesia, the mahu are also neither male nor female, and traditionally they engage in sex with both men and women, without any sort of sexual stigma. In North America, the Navajo believed that intersex people were divinely blessed and essential to society. Without them, as a Navajo interviewee told the early anthropologist W.W. Hill in 1935, it “will be the end of the Navajo.” Our sexual lives and identities are determined not by our genes but by our cultures.

The D.S.M. is also a product of culture that reflects the values of its authors. If the American Psychiatric Association truly believes that gender nonconformity is not a mental illness, it should follow the W.H.O. Psychiatrists will still have all the billable insurance codes they need to provide care, and transgender people will be able to carry on with their lives, suffering if they must from the same things that everyone else suffers from, but at least with one fewer burden.”

#dysphoria #gender dysphoria #suicide m #genital m #transphobia mention

transgenderteensurvivalguide reblogged

questingqueer

Transgender Rights Lie in the Hands of a State's Electorate

Put November 6th in your calendar right now if you live in Mass!

www.nytimes.com

“Setting the stage for the first-ever statewide referendum in the U.S. on a transgender rights law, opponents collected enough signatures to place a repeal question on the Nov. 6 ballot. Transgender rights supporters worry — and opponents of the laws hope — that if the repeal passes in Massachusetts, the first state to legalize gay marriage and among the most LGBT-friendly, it could unleash a cascade of similar efforts elsewhere.

“For this to happen in Massachusetts, where we have this reputation of being an inclusive state dedicated for equality and dignity for all people, to see what happens on this (question) is really going to be an important moment for transgender rights nationally,” said Mason Dunn, executive director of the Massachusetts Trans Political Coalition.

Though referred to derisively by opponents as “the bathroom bill,” supporters note the law more widely prohibits discrimination against transgender people in public accommodations, including restaurants, parks and entertainment venues. A prior state law outlawed bias in employment and housing.

“It’s not the transgenders that we’re concerned about, it’s the men who are using it and are claiming to be transgender,” said Jay McMahon, the Republican nominee for attorney general, in a recent debate.

The law, though, already allows for the prosecution of any person “whose assertion of a gender identity is for an improper purpose.”

The Associated Press requested records from the state attorney general’s office and the Massachusetts Commission Against Discrimination, which turned up only a handful of complaints directly related to the 2-year-old law, and none alleging predation in bathrooms or locker rooms.

Public opinion polls in recent months show voters leaning toward keeping the law, with some showing wider margins than others. But supporters warn against overconfidence.

One area of concern is potential confusion over the wording of the question. A yes vote is for keeping the law; a no vote is for repeal. In contrast, voters in 2014 were told to vote yes if they wanted to repeal the state’s casino gambling law; the noes won.”

If you live in Massachusetts, #VoteYesOn3 on November 6th!

questingqueer

This is tomorrow!!!

#please vote if you can and share if you can't!#boosting #news #transphobia mention

transgenderteensurvivalguide

Anonymous asked:

I'm visiting a therapist for sometime now. I now wanna bring up the fact that I'm trans girl to her but I'm not sure how she'll react or if she'll even understand what I mean. How can I be sure I can talk to her about it? And what's a good way of bringing the topic there?

Devon says:

Here is our coming out page, which you will probably find helpful. It has this link about coming out to your therapist.

(If your therapist ends up being transphobic or something, you should ask her if she can help you to find a therapist with experience with trans folks. If she’s a good therapist she should be comfortable doing this. Here is a link about finding a trans friendly therapist.)

Good luck! I hope your therapist is accepting and that all goes well.

#devon says #coming out #therapy #transphobia mention #Anonymous

transgenderteensurvivalguide

Anonymous asked:

((URGENT)) I accidentally was binding for forty hours the other day, and then eight hours yesterday. And my chest hurts really bad, especially when I breathe. But if I did hurt myself, I'm screwed, because my parents are really transphobic. So I can't tell them I was binding. I'm scared and I don't know what to do. 💮

Devon says:

Copied from our binding FAQ:

“Is it normal?” the binding edition

I think I hurt myself! What do I do?Ren once again made a really nice troubleshooting post for chest pains/binding injuriesHere’s some excuses to give your parents if you need to see a doctor and you’re closetedHere’s some info on talking to your doc about binding

Best of luck, anon! I hope you feel better soon.

#devon says #binding #unsafe binding #doctors #medical mention #parents #injury #binding injuries #caps #Anonymous #transphobia mention #transmasculine

transgenderteensurvivalguide

Anonymous asked:

Good vibes! My friend’s sibling just came out as nonbinary, and gave their preferred pronouns and name. My friend (who’s also trans) is very proud of them. Plus, my sister is doing her absolute best to learn to use said name and pronouns. She even defended them against a shit member of her friend group who is heavily conservative, despite always being careful not to hurt her feelings. And as far as I’ve heard, most of the other kids I’m her grade are being as supportive! (They’re in sixth grade)

#good vibes #Anonymous #family mention #cursing #transphobia mention

transgenderteensurvivalguide

Anonymous asked:

Sometimes I feel like i'm not valid because though I know i'm FTM, I still like to wear heels and own a couple skirts and dresses that I might wear after I transition or even before. I like skirts and doing my nails and wearing makeup. I got told this makes me not trans by several relatives because "If you were a boy you wouldn't like those things." Or even told "why bother transitioning if you're still going to act like a girl." Am I still valid even liking stereotypical 'girl' things?

Kai says:

Yes, you are still valid. Cis boys can like feminine things and aren’t told that they aren’t boys, so trans boys can like feminine things and are still boys. Your gender does not have to be the same as your gender expression. You should do what makes you feel good and comfortable and not restrict yourself based on others’ judgments

#kai says #ftm #caps /#transphobia mention #Anonymous

transgenderteensurvivalguide

Anonymous asked:

Is it okay to sometimes even mess up your own name and still say your dead name sometimes when referring to yourself when you first start using a new name? And can you still be a valid trans male if you used to get angry at people for calling you a boy when you were younger even though you'd happily be called it now?

Kai says:

Yes, it’s okay to sometimes use the wrong name. And yes, sometimes it’s internalized transphobia or something like that that prevents you from being okay with it when you’re younger.

#kai says #transphobia mention #trans male #Anonymous

transgenderteensurvivalguide

Anonymous asked:

is it weird to have internalized transphobic but like, only against yourself? like you love and respect all trans people except you hate yourself for being trans (among other things)?

Kai says:

I experienced the same thing for a while when I first realized I was trans, but eventually grew out of it. It’s normal.

#kai says #transphobia mention #Anonymous

transgenderteensurvivalguide

Anonymous asked:

My language is really gendered and there's only "it" which you don't even use for animals. It's just really low and I don't feel comfortable using it but I know that nobody around here takes neopronouns seriously. What can I do to make genderneutral pronouns known or do you have any more general advice to my situation?

Devon says:

Here are some ideas that I have:

Alternate between male and female pronouns. (If it was English, like, “He went to the store and bought herself a shirt.”)
Don’t use any pronouns-- just your name. (“Devon went to the store and bought a shirt for Devon.”) This is probably easier if you have a shorter name.
Search on our blog for the tag of your language. #german, for example, has some posts about gender neutral German pronouns.
Look for other online resources for trans people in your language.
Here’s a wikipedia page called gender neutrality in languages with grammatical gender. If your language has grammatical gender, this might help you to find ideas for new pronouns.

Whatever you decide to do, you might find our interpersonal relationships resource helpful, to talk to people close to you about why it is important to you that they use language that respects your gender.

This question of our FAQ might also be helpful to you:

Q2: How do I convince someone to do something I want? (start HRT, let me buy gender-affirming items, use my name and pronouns, support me, etc)A2: Please see this post and this post! The best thing to do is have an honest conversation and explain how much it means to you.

You might also find our coming out page helpful, for ideas on how to tell people your new pronouns, etc.

Best of luck!

#devon says #caps #coming out #transphobia mention #gendered language #gendered pronouns #pronouns #grammatical gender #Anonymous

transgenderteensurvivalguide

Anonymous asked:

I have decided to write a coming out letter to my old fashioned but not outwardly transphobic father: I want to give him privacy to process his feelings before we talk about it. My question is, what are possible exit strategies so to speak to let him know to go read the letter without handing it over? My best thought is "I left some stuff on the table I need you to take a look at" but maybe that's too flippant? "I left a letter on the table for you" maybe?

Kai says:

“I left a letter on the table for you” would work. Maybe “I left a letter on the table for you and I want you to read it when you have time and can process things. It’s important to me.”

You can also provide links to resources in your letter if you want.

Followers?

Lee says:

When I came out to my parents, I left the letter on their pillow because they have to see it there before they goes to bed. Nobody can fall asleep with their face on a letter without noticing it. Plus, then you can pretend to be asleep when they read it so they can’t immediately come to you to discuss it which gives them time to cool off.

#kai says #coming out #parents #transphobia mention #Anonymous #Lee says #transgenderteensurvivalguide #trans #transgender #nonbinary #lgbtq #lgbt #transgender teen survival guide #TTSG

transgenderteensurvivalguide

Anonymous asked:

Do you know anything at all about Taco Bell's policy towards trans people?

Devon says:

HRC gives them a rating of 80 out of 100 for “workplace equality.”

From Taco Bell’s website:

“Suppliers should implement a policy to effectuate all applicable local and federal laws prohibiting discrimination in hiring and employment on the grounds of race, color, religion, sex, age, physical disability, national origin, creed or any other basis prohibited by law.”

So, that doesn’t include gender identity unless your state includes gender identity in its anti-discrimination laws.

Here is an interactive US map that shows which states cover gender identity in their anti-discrimination laws. If you live outside of the US, try searching online for “[location] gender identity employment discrimination laws.”

Even if gender identity is not covered, you may have a trans-friendly boss/workplace. Also, even if gender identity is covered, you could experience discrimination from your boss/coworkers, unfortunately.

Followers, reply to this post with any experience you have working at Taco Bell!

Best of luck, I hope all goes well with the job!

P.S. This ask only took me a few minutes to answer, I got all the links from google, and I didn’t know any of the information that I provided about Taco Bell, before now. I’m not upset about it, but y’all can do your own research too!

#devon says #taco bell #employment #jobs #discrimination #caps #transphobia mention #food mention #Anonymous

transgenderteensurvivalguide

Anonymous asked:

urgent!(ish) my mom was looking through my friend's signiatures in my yearbook and she saw that some of them referred to me as a guy (I am afab trans guy) she said it was "offensive" and know she's mad at me (my dad is out of town) what can I do to calm her down?

Devon says:

Here are some things you could say to her:

It’s an inside joke with your friends
Some people were confused about whose yearbook they were signing (if you have a cis guy friend with the same name that your mom knows you as)
You are comfortable as a woman and she doesn’t have to worry about you being a guy
You are a guy... come out as trans
Try to have a conversation with her about why she finds it “offensive”

Don’t come out as trans if you don’t feel safe doing so.

Here are some other links that might be helpful for you:

#devon says #coming out #mom mention #moms #mothers #transphobia mention #outed #dads #dad mention #parents mention #parents #Anonymous

transgenderteensurvivalguide

Anonymous asked:

do you have to change your name/gender marker in your birth state? [my birth state doesn't allow gender marker changes unless you undergo srs but the neighboring states do so i was wanting, if possible, to just... change my gender marker in one of those states]. thank you!

Devon says:

Not entirely sure if this information will apply to you, because I don’t know what country you live in, but...

In the USA, the laws regarding gender marker and name changes that affect you are the laws from the state that you permanently reside in, except for your birth certificate.

For example, I live in Connecticut, where it is legal to change your gender marker on your driver’s license or state ID without surgery (but with certification from a social service or medical provider). And, in CT you can change your name on your driver’s license or state ID without surgery and without any certification from a social service or medical provider. But, I was born in Massachusetts so if I wanted to change my gender marker on my birth certificate, I would first have to have, as the MA government puts it, “Medical Intervention for the Purpose of Sex Reassignment.” And, I am not able to change my name on my MA birth certificate unless it is done at the same time as the gender marker change.

So, my name on my (MA) birth certificate is not the same as my name on all of my other (CT) documentation.

Also, check out question 12 of our FAQ:

Q12: How do I change my name/gender legally?A12: Here’s a resource on that that’s constantly being updated with law changes in the US. Here is a UK resource. We are still looking for reputable sources for other countries, but please check the tag for your country, as followers have answered this question quite a lot when the mods aren’t sure. (/tagged/germany for example)

Good luck in the name / gender marker change process!

#devon says #name change #gender marker change #surgery mention #transphobia mention #connecticut #massachusetts #caps #briefly #Anonymous