signs ur talking to a trans chaser | for trans men & transmasculine ppl
• they ask you about HRT but only focus on the changes that happen to genitalia & sex drive • ignore things that make you dysphoric (ex: talking about your chest or genitals or height or voice) • they infantilize you (ex: youre such a small cute boy omg!! tiny cute boy uwu) • theyre exclusively attracted to girls but youre an “exception” (especially if youre pre-op & pre-transition) • they refer to you as “female”
• “trans boys are just different okay i’m not attracted to cis men but trans boys are good and pure”
They’re immediately not interested if you say you got bottom surgery
If you don’t know what a chaser is or want a refresher on the topic, read these articles by trans women about chasers!
While chasers do predominantly target transfeminine people, there are chasers that target trans guys as well (and other transmasculine people who they lump in with trans guys since they usually aren’t informed on non-binary identities).
In my (mostly online) experience with chasers as a non-binary transmac person I’ve noticed very similar things as OP:
- They ask whether you have a vagina early into the conversation.
- They ask how old you are but don’t care if you’re much younger than them- it’s a warning sign that this doesn’t deter them
- They will turn the conversation nsfw regardless of what you originally started talking about.
- They don’t tend to consider the possibility that you have dysphoria (they overlook it in general, but especially so when it comes to genitals).
- They won’t take a hint, and they don’t respect boundaries- they’ll continue asking you about things that you’ve either implied or outright stated you don’t want to talk about or do.
- They often don’t seem to know much about the trans community or the even though they talk about how they’re attracted to trans people.
- They often won’t respect non-binary identities and will use gendered language to refer to you and ignore your pronouns even if you have them clearly stated
- One man messaged me saying “a man with a p*ussy is very sexy” and then continued to reiterate similar statements- they are often very focused on your genitals and make assumptions about what genitals you have.
- They will sometimes try to validate you and complement you but they see you as a body and not as a human with interests so they will pay more attention to your physical attributes than what good qualities you have
- They will ask for nsfw pictures and if you say no, they may try to pressure you into it or continue asking.
- They may approach you from an online trans space and initially talk about trans things or give you advice so you let your guard down
- Some of them are cis men who call themselves straight even though you’re not a girl, but some will identify as bisexual or gay, so that isn’t always an indicator.
- Cis women are less often to be chasers then cis men, but it does happen sometimes.
- They may use these terms to refer to themselves: admirer, trans admirer, transfan, trans* catcher, trans* erotic, transsensual, transoriented, tr*nny chaser, tr*nny hawk
Here are a few suggestions:
- If you want to see if they’re a chaser, ask them if they would call themself one of the above terms, if they’re open about liking trans people in their lives
- Try setting some boundaries, and if they ignore your boundaries and continue doing/saying things that make you dysphoric or uncomfortable then that’s a red flag.
- If you feel uncomfortable, then listen to that! You may not know exactly what about them is “off” but sometimes you can tell something isn’t right.
- Don’t assume that they mean well and dismiss the red flags- trust your instincts.
- Don’t feel obligated to continue talking to them! If they’re talking to you IRL, make up an excuse to leave.
- Feel In Danger On A Date? These Apps Could Help You Stay Safe
- The 10 simple rules of staying safe on a first date
- How to Get Out of an Awkward or Uncomfortable Situation
- Don’t let your social anxiety trick you into staying in an unsafe situation because you feel too awkward to leave.
- Be careful of online dating sites that advertise that they’re for trans people but don’t actually seem to be like what a trans person would create since those are often used by chasers.
- If they’re talking to you online, just block them. Simple as that. It doesn’t matter if blocking them is “rude”, they’re the ones dehumanizing you by treating your body is the only thing that matters about you.