Transgender Teen Survival Guide

Kii says:

If you’ve never donated blood before, it’s a good idea to take it off until you know how your body reacts. If you’ve donated before and know that you don’t react negatively, you can wear your binder, but proceed with caution and listen to your body.

Kii says:

This is something that each pregnant person should discuss with their doctor! This study shows that people with more testosterone in their system may struggle to breastfeed, so if a pregnant person wishes to breastfeed, they’d likely have to wait longer to start testosterone than someone who does not want to breastfeed. There have also been instances (which I can’t find right now, but I have seen them) where people who are using topical testosterone gel can cause harm to a newborn if the cream transfers onto the child’s skin repeatedly, and since it’s common for parents to be holding and touching their children often, so someone who wants to use testosterone gel instead of injectable testosterone may be advised to wait longer to begin testosterone again.

Both pregnancy and HRT are very dependent on the individual, so it’s hard to give blanket answers to these sort of questions. The best person to ask if you are in a situation like this is going to be your doctor.

Jay says:

It’s probably harmless. I think your skin is a bit sensitive and you don’t tolerate the gel (I think they usually have rubbing alcohol or other irritating things in them?). Over time irritants can make your skin more sensitive which could eventually lead to the issue you’re having, or you could have developed an allergy (not to T itself, to something in the gel). If you keep getting it when you apply the gel then it could be that the gel isn’t going to work for you and you should switch to shots or another route. 

Jay says:

Yes. I pay $10 a month for my injections and if I switched to gel I would pay around $50. It does depend on if you can access generic gel, where you live, what your insurance covers, etc., but the gel is almost always more expensive. You can check GoodRx for specific prices in your area. 

Lee says:

When I was on the gel, my insurance copay was $5 per month’s supply, then we didn’t have insurance for a bit and it was $300 for a month’s supply (without using goodrx), then we got a different insurance and it was $20 copay for a month’s supply.

Jay says:

All 3 of these things can be affected by T, but I don’t think it’s super dramatic (as long as your levels aren’t really really high). 

Overall mental state: most people develop a more positive mental state in general, with less dysphoria-related anger, depression, anxiety, etc. because they have less dysphoria/more gender euphoria on T. 

Emotions: T can make you moody. If you’re on shots this is more likely, because your levels drop right before the next shot, which can cause moodiness (not always, I just get a little more tired the evening before my shot). Some people say they don’t feel emotions as strongly on T, some people say they’re slightly more prone to anger or frustration. Personally, I got a lot more relaxed on T because it gave me control over my dysphoria-related issues and let me grow into a calmer person. A lot of that just depends on you and your body.

Personality: probably not. Some people get more outgoing, social, and/or confident after starting T, but you won’t turn into someone else. 

Lee says:

Here’s a similar ask I answered yesterday!

Jay says:

It’s not considered weird for guys to carry a backpack or messenger bag for stuff like that. A small-ish masculine backpack or messenger back probably won’t inhibit your passing either. 

Personally I just use a small med pac, which can hold 2 epipens and an inhaler, and I like it. There are several sizes for different needs, including some just for inhalers. There are also belts that have appropriately-sized pockets built into them (which can be hidden under a shirt if you want to) and other “active” type carriers. I’ve also seen inhaler carriers with keychains that you attach to your keyring. Just some alternatives to carrying a bag, if you’re interested. 

Followers say:

hogwartsismyonlyhome said: I carry a backpack with me literally everywhere i go :)

pataoe said: Guys like the drawstrig backpacks a lot so it wouldnt be weird if you had that

procrastinationbylaw said: In my country fannypacks are moderately fashionable to wear slung across ones chest/over a shoulder. All the guys and some of the girls of my high school used to wear those, and they are honestly so dang practical!

hatingonme said: Drawstring bag, backpack, satchel, laptop bag, small breifcase, hoodie with big deep pockets, I hope this hels

lady-harkkonnen said: And if Danny packs don’t do it for you. There are thigh packs. Same thing as a fanny packs but they have a different masculine flavor. Or a neutral one.

daphnetheservicedog said: Yo!!!! We rock Fanny packs and tactical Fanny packs as a team. They hold all of our essentials: my mountain of meds, wallet, poop bags, chapstick, gum, extra collar, small notebook and pen, among other useful items.

Jay says:

Most people see the endo once and talk about everything and sign forms and stuff, then get sent for lab work. Then they return to the doctor and go over their labs and get their script at the second appointment. They have to do labs before prescribing because they need to know what dose to start you on. If you do (self-injected) shots you’ll probably have to fill the script and return a third time to meet with a nurse to learn to inject, but that usually can be done as soon as you have the T and all. I think you should expect to do something like that. If you’ll be able to start T at that time you’ll almost certainly know when you’re scheduling because they’ll tell you to do labs before the first appointment. 

So you might have gotten your hopes up a little early, but it’s generally only a couple of weeks between the first and second appointments, then maybe a few hours or a day (or a weekend) between the second and third. From my first appointment to my first shot, I waited about 5-6 weeks (it would have been 3-4 weeks but there was actually a hurricane that pushed it back). 

Jay says:

Your dad’s concerns were honestly probably a little exaggerated, just because a lot of parents go right to the worst-case scenario. You pretty much just shift to having the same risks of cardiovascular disease and the like that cis men have (and you’re probably less likely to have serious problems because you’re monitored closer on T, so any issues can be caught and treated early). It’s also normal to get extra nervous right before a big life change like this. 

If you do decide to move the shot, the doctor will probably take that as a sign that you were just busy that day. If you push it back many weeks or you move it several times, they’ll be suspicious, but moving it back a few days the one time isn’t a big deal to them. I would suggest keeping the appointment but it’s up to you. 

Our mental health page has advice about anxiety that might be helpful.

Jay says:

It’s not true. T makes you moody for awhile, like puberty does (this tends to be worse if you’re on shots because there’s more fluctuation in your levels). But normal “male” T levels don’t make you more aggressive or anything. From what I’ve read for T to actually cause aggression, you’d need 2-4 times normal T levels. T can make your temper a little shorter, but it’s up to you to control yourself if you start getting angry. So T won’t change who you are or what kind of personality you have, aside from maybe becoming a little more moody temporarily. 

Jay says:

I used to be on pellets! I’m in Florida. I really liked being on pellets, but I had unrelated personal issues and had to switch back to shots. They’re a really good option for people with issues with weekly shots. However, many doctors won’t do them. It’s really just a matter of asking your current team to find someone who does the pellets and get you sent over to them. 

Here’s a post about pellets.

Here’s a post about injections. 

Jay says:

Nope, not really! There’s a risk of mild skin irritation that goes away quickly when you aren’t packing, especially if you’re sweaty or moving a lot. There’s also a risk of skin infection and irritation with porous packers (made of “cyberskin”, “TPR/TPE”, basically anything other than silicone) because they are impossible to clean/sterilize completely. But that risk is small, and can be essentially eliminated if you have something between you in and the packer, like a harness with fabric behind the packer, or a packer pouch, anything. Replacing porous packers every few months to a year minimizes this risk too. 

A few people (like me) have an intolerance or allergy to the oils in porous packers, so those people should stick to silicone if possible. These reactions, if they occur, are generally mild and go away fairly quickly. There’s a similar risk of adhesive reactions for people who use packers or prosthetics that adhere to their skin (these people, like me, often are already aware of this because they’ve reacted to things like medical tape or IV coverings before). 

The only major concern I know of is for people who powder their packers with anything containing talc, which has been linked to cancer. Things like cornstarch are fine. 

More info: Are cyberskin packers safe?

Followers say:

Anon said: i just wanted to chime in and say that jock itch is something that can definitely happen from wearing a packer, especially if the packer is touching your body and/or you’re a heavier person with big thighs. it’s a mild fungal infection and a lot of cis guys get it; it’s just from extra moisture and can be treated at home. :-)

Jay says:

It’s not possible to hide effects for very long, and it’s basically not possible to get away with lying about being sick either. 

First of all, even if you don’t plan on getting super muscular you will almost inevitably end up looking distinctly male. If you say it’s happening because of a condition they will pressure you into testing and treatment. If you refuse to do so it would raise at least as many questions as if you just didn’t say anything. It’s not possible to maintain a lie like that. 

If you say you had top surgery due to illness it would also raise questions. You would have to explain how you got so sick you needed surgery, which essentially means lying about having breast cancer or a major accident where you somehow were fine except your chest. Or lying (?) about having something like a BRCA mutation and a prophylactic mastectomy. Either way, you would inevitably be pressured and questioned about refusing reconstructive surgery. This isn’t sustainable either. 

Finally, I don’t know where you live, but being closeted to your family often makes getting on T and having surgery difficult or impossible. I know in the US if you go the therapist route (which you generally have to do for insurance coverage for anything), part of the criteria for being approved is often that close people know you’re transitioning, and that you fully understand and accept risks associated with that. And if you do go with informed consent, the doctor could decide you really don’t understand/accept the ramifications and risks of T/surgery and deny you too (because understanding the ramifications is in the “informed” part). 

I know we say lying is ok when it’s a question of safety or if the asker is a stranger or things like that, but the ethics of lying about having/surviving major illnesses or accidents are questionable. This is why we tell stealth folks that blaming top surgery scars on gynecomastia is ok but saying it was a double lung transplant is less ok. If you wouldn’t be relying on them for a safe place to live, money for basic necessities, or the like, it honestly sounds like you’re trying to avoid a really hard conversation (and if you were relying on them like that it wouldn’t be safe to go on T or have surgery at that time, because getting caught in such a lie would be trouble). 

Some parents like them come around over time. Some don’t but still spend time with you and all that, and just ignore your transition (which seems like what you’re trying to do here). Sometimes you really do have to pick between family and transition. I think you should work with a therapist and find a more stable, safe solution than just moving forward and lying about it. I’m so sorry you’re in this position but I don’t think transitioning and lying about being sick to try to cover it up is a good, plausible, or safe solution. 

Jay says:

You don’t really see anything come out of you like with having blood drawn, just the T going in. If you’re worried about the shots making you more aware of what’s under your skin or something like that it’s not impossible I guess. It is quicker than getting blood drawn.

Jay says:

Lower growth and increased sensitivity is usually the first thing that happens after starting T, and it can happen within the first couple of days to the first few weeks. I don’t think it’s abnormal but the only way to be sure would be to mention it to your doc when you see them again. 

Jay says:

Most people inject themselves but a friend or family member can also be taught how to give them. Some people, mostly people who are on more spaced-out schedules, do go to the doctor’s office to have a nurse inject them, and a few people have nurses come to their homes. And you might surprise yourself. Over time you may adjust to them more and be able to learn to inject yourself. 

Jay says:

You probably didn’t hit anything, I think you would have felt that. It was probably a just muscle twitch, and doing your shot anyways would be ok. Injecting into a tight muscle is uncomfortable (as you probably noticed) and a little harder, but the T will likely still be absorbed fine. My leg muscles are always tight due to a medical condition and I still do my shots IM just fine, other than some extra soreness. 

If it was just a weird one-time thing I wouldn’t sweat it. If it keeps happening I’d mention it to the doc that oversees your T. 

I did answer an ask similar to this a couple of weeks ago. And I know several people on IM shots who have mentioned a similar issue, so I’d imagine it’s not uncommon to have a twitch during a shot.

Jay says:

Yup, a small amount of blood is normal! He could let his doc know in case he can alter his technique to stop it (and he should if he consistently bleeds more than a couple of drops). This happens because the needle bumps small blood vessels as it moves. If he doesn’t already, putting pressure on the site immediately after removing the needle/massaging the site might help the bleeding.

#blood m #needles m