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Transgender Teen Survival Guide

@transgenderteensurvivalguide / transgenderteensurvivalguide.com

We are a blog created for people of all ages who have questions concerning their gender identity. Read our FAQ here!
Transgender is an umbrella term that is inclusive of, but not limited to (nor forced upon), trans women, trans men, non-binary people, genderfluid people, genderqueer people, agender people, and anyone who doesn't identify as the gender assigned to them at birth.
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Lee says:

Hello everyone! I’m Lee, a transmasculine person who is approaching 5 years on testosterone, and I’m here on your dash on this fine Transgender Day of Visibility to conduct a survey on the effects of testosterone on clitoral growth.

The lack of knowledge about some of the most basic aspects of medical transitioning is a real problem, and because it’s Transgender Day of Visibility, I’d like to bring this topic up again because the bodies of post-transition people are often invisible in medical literature which means the community has to turn to anecdotes they’ve heard from others to inform their expectations.

There was a 1986 study that investigated this question by collecting data from 30 patients who were AFAB and on testosterone, but the researchers only followed up with the patients for 1 year and 5 months (and some sources, like the WPATH guidelines, suggest that clitoral growth continues for 2 years.

A more recent 2014 study investigated the same question and included 97 patents, but their sample was limited to people who had self-selected to undergo metoidioplasty, which may have biased the results as people who didn’t have enough clitoral growth to be good candidates to be able to easily stand to pee and clear their fly with metoidioplasty might have chosen to get phalloplasty instead, which means they wouldn’t have been included in this study.

There are a few more data points out there, but the sample size tends to be small and is often limited to patients who had metoidioplasty which may not be representative of the typical growth that people on testosterone can expect to experience on average.

The purpose of my pilot survey is to gather data that can help inform the expectations of transgender people who are considering taking testosterone regarding the average size of the clitoris after a period of time on testosterone.

I am particularly interested in hearing from people who have been on testosterone for over two years, people who currently have (or used to have) conditions that affect their hormones levels, people who have had metoidioplasty, and people who have detransitioned or stopped taking testosterone.

But you may be eligible even if you don’t fit one of those descriptions— the criteria include anyone who was assigned female at birth (whether or not you identify as transgender or cisgender), is currently above the age of majority where you live (aka you’re legally an adult), and hasn’t had their clitoris surgically “buried” as part of phalloplasty. You don’t need to be on testosterone to respond.

So let’s all do something awkward for science and do something about the invisibility of our post-T bodies!

Please consider reblogging this post, then going to get your ruler out to fill out this survey and take some measurements when you have a free minute.

The link to the survey is here: https://bit.ly/T-growth

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Anonymous asked:

hello! for the cl1tor1s length survey, i was wondering how i should put down that i was AFAB but have PCOS that caused high testosterone levels (including cl1tor4l growth) until i began hormone therapy? PCOS like that seems to sometimes be counted as inters3x by the community, but i don't want to fudge the results of the survey. it was below "normal" "male" levels, but much higher than "normal" "female" levels, so i'm not sure...

Lee says:

Good question anon!

Although the mainstream medical & scientific community does not consider people with PCOS to be intersex, there are a few exceptions; "some researchers have included extreme polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS)-related hyperandrogenism within the umbrella of intersex variations (Huang, Brennan, & Azziz, 2010; Jones et al., 2016)," (source).

However, as you mentioned, the intersex community seems to mostly be open to including people with PCOS under the intersex umbrella-- although of course there are a few exceptions there as well as there is almost never as 100% consensus of opinion in any broad and diverse community.

I'm not intersex myself, so resolve the issue for this particular survey I've updated the questions to list being intersex and/or having PCOS as two distinct things because that gives us the most flexibility in interpreting the results.

I've specified that people with PCOS-only should answer "no" to the "are you intersex" question so I have the option of keeping the data separate for now, but could later merge the results of the two categories in one graph and include PCOS with other intersex disorders if folks would like to see the results that way as well.

The link to the survey is here: https://bit.ly/T-growth

Avatar

Lee says:

Hello everyone! I’m Lee, a transmasculine person who is approaching 5 years on testosterone, and I’m here on your dash on this fine Transgender Day of Visibility to conduct a survey on the effects of testosterone on clitoral growth.

The lack of knowledge about some of the most basic aspects of medical transitioning is a real problem, and because it’s Transgender Day of Visibility, I’d like to bring this topic up again because the bodies of post-transition people are often invisible in medical literature which means the community has to turn to anecdotes they’ve heard from others to inform their expectations.

There was a 1986 study that investigated this question by collecting data from 30 patients who were AFAB and on testosterone, but the researchers only followed up with the patients for 1 year and 5 months (and some sources, like the WPATH guidelines, suggest that clitoral growth continues for 2 years.

A more recent 2014 study investigated the same question and included 97 patents, but their sample was limited to people who had self-selected to undergo metoidioplasty, which may have biased the results as people who didn’t have enough clitoral growth to be good candidates to be able to easily stand to pee and clear their fly with metoidioplasty might have chosen to get phalloplasty instead, which means they wouldn’t have been included in this study.

There are a few more data points out there, but the sample size tends to be small and is often limited to patients who had metoidioplasty which may not be representative of the typical growth that people on testosterone can expect to experience on average.

The purpose of my pilot survey is to gather data that can help inform the expectations of transgender people who are considering taking testosterone regarding the average size of the clitoris after a period of time on testosterone.

I am particularly interested in hearing from people who have been on testosterone for over two years, people who currently have (or used to have) conditions that affect their hormones levels, people who have had metoidioplasty, and people who have detransitioned or stopped taking testosterone.

But you may be eligible even if you don’t fit one of those descriptions— the criteria include anyone who was assigned female at birth (whether or not you identify as transgender or cisgender), is currently above the age of majority where you live (aka you’re legally an adult), and hasn’t had their clitoris surgically “buried” as part of phalloplasty. You don’t need to be on testosterone to respond.

So let’s all do something awkward for science and do something about the invisibility of our post-T bodies!

Please consider reblogging this post, then going to get your ruler out to fill out this survey and take some measurements when you have a free minute.

The link to the survey is here: https://bit.ly/T-growth

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Anonymous asked:

Just wanted to let you know that the survey doesn’t have the option to have started testosterone at 17 years old:)

Lee says:

I literally don't know what I'd do without ya'll, thank you so much to everyone who has helped me beta test this survey!!

Sometimes I miss things… like including the number 17….

[Image description: Meme screenshot from the "waddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read" vine]

~

I've fixed the omission and the (updated!) survey is accepting responses here: https://bit.ly/T-growth

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Lee says:

If anyone is willing to help me out, I’m looking to reboot the anonymous survey measuring clitoral growth on testosterone!

Since people have been asking us how much clitoral growth people tend to experience on testosterone, I’m looking to collect some informal data on people’s personal experiences.

There is a lot of misinformation and misconceptions about the effects of testosterone on the body, so it’s important for us to find a way to educate ourselves and each other so people can make informed decisions and know what to expect!

Personally speaking, I started testosterone as soon as I turned 18. And as you all know, I did a lot of research beforehand! But there were some things that I couldn’t find statistics for online, which is why I later went on to create this survey.

I was given information by the provider who prescribed my HRT which said “your clitoris will grow bigger” but when I asked for something more specific, like what size range I should expect, or what the average amount of growth was, the nurse couldn’t answer beyond saying that I should expect “clitoromegaly” because she didn’t know either.

When I had just started testosterone, being told “this is what you should anticipate” is something that would have really helped me temper my expectations as someone who had assumed I’d magically get an unrealistic amount of clitoral growth (and later switched my plan from getting metoidioplasty to phalloplasty when I realized that the photos I had seen online were not “average” and I would end up being fully 100% average).

I’ve noticed that people who tend to post pictures of their genitals after being on T tend to be more well-endowed than those who choose not to share their photos in the same public manner, and people who choose metoidioplasty might be more likely to be on the larger side than those who choose to get phalloplasty, so just as looking at pornography doesn’t necessarily paint a realistic picture of what the average cisgender body is, neither does looking at some of the NSFW images posted online because of this self-selection bias.

So while looking at pictures and videos online might be one way for people to get an idea of what things will look like “down there” after having been on testosterone for a while, that type of content isn’t always representative of the full spectrum of bodies, or even something that everyone is comfortable looking at— it’s certainly not something that a minor could look at on a school or library computer, for example.

I know that this survey is a bit subjective— different people might be measuring their bodies in slightly different ways— but if enough people do it and the sample size is large enough, I believe it also should still average out to provide a more-or-less accurate depiction of what type of changes will happen happen on T.

I believe that this is genuinely an important issue and that is why I’m asking folks to push past their dysphoria and awkwardness, pick up a ruler and head to their bedroom or bathroom, lock the door and measure their clitoris for science!

~

This survey only applies to people who were assigned female at birth; however, you don’t need to be on testosterone to respond.

People who are eligible to take the survey include:

  • Trans people who were AFAB and are pre-T or non-T
  • Trans people who were AFAB and used to be on T but stopped taking it
  • Trans people who were AFAB and intersex
  • Trans people who were AFAB and are currently taking T
  • Cisgender women who have detransitioned/reidentified and used to take T but have stopped taking it
  • Cisgender women who are intersex and have not taken testosterone
  • Cisgender women who are not intersex and have not taken testosterone

The reason why pre-and-non-T people who were AFAB (including cisgender women) can be included in this survey is because their data can be used as a baseline for pre-testosterone clitoral size. However, you must be over 18 to respond!

People who are not eligible for this survey:

  • People who were assigned male at birth and currently have a penis
  • People who were assigned male at birth and had vaginoplasty/gender affirming surgery to create their clitoris
  • People who were assigned female at birth and had their clitoris “buried” as part of phalloplasty/gender affirming bottom surgery (unless they specially measured their clitoris before surgery and kept a note somewhere with the measurements)

~

I initially made this survey in 2018 when I was only about 1 year on T and before I had gotten lower surgery and I believe I had (badly) traced one of my own actual photos to create a drawing to demonstrate how to take the measurements.

Now Tumblr has now banned NSFW content and they took the link to the original reference photo set down as a result (despite my appeal!), so there is no visual to demonstrate how measurements should be performed, and I’ve since had lower surgery so my set-up is different than what people’s now.

If anyone has artistic talent/literally any drawing skills and wouldn’t mind donating their time to work with me to illustrate the procedure for taking measurements, I would really appreciate it if you sent an ask!

I also have the feeling there are probably a good number of ways that I can improve this survey so I’ve put a question at the end to ask for feedback on what y’all think of the survey and how I can make it better.

~

While reblogs are both welcome and encouraged, I’d also appreciate it if you shared this link on any non-Tumblr social media that you may have; I don’t really go on the Reddit forums or the Facebook groups or whatever, and it would be cool if this survey made its way to those spaces as well.

Here’s a description that you’re welcome to use when posting this:

“Hello! My name is Lee. I’m a transmasculine person on testosterone and I’m conducting a survey on the effects of testosterone on clitoral growth. The purpose of this survey is to gather data that can help inform the expectations of transgender people who are considering taking testosterone regarding the average size of the clitoris after a period of time on testosterone. I am particularly interested in hearing from people who have been on testosterone for over two years, or who have stopped taking testosterone. If you were assigned female at birth, you may be eligible to take this survey. The link to the survey is here: https://bit.ly/T-growth

~

Please boost and share this link:

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Can you give more info on what happens to my downstairs bits on T?

  • Your period will stop, your clitoris will get a bit bigger, and your vaginal walls will get a bit thinner and things may be drier down there.
  • Menstruation stops within in 2-6 months on an average testosterone dose and then it’s gone as long as you stay on T
  • Clitoral enlargement is one of the earliest changes people tend to notice, and it starts around 3-6 months on an average dose of T, and continues to grow for 1-2 years
  • But it all depends on the individual, as some people experience some changes faster than others regardless of their testosterone levels

“Bottom growth? Huh?”

People sometimes say “bottom growth” as a euphemism for what doctors call “clitoromegaly” and what we’ll call “clitoral growth”. Trans folks may use “lower growth” or similar terms because they may not want to refer to their genitals with certain words because of dysphoria.

“What is the clitoris?”

The clitoris is the nerve center of the genital area for AFAB people. It’s an organ that exists for sexual pleasure, and it’s very sensitive. It’s located in front of your urethra and vagina. @whoneedssexed is a good resource if you want to learn more about sex or your body and how it works.

Some folks call it a “t-dick” or refer to it as their junk or their penis, and you can call it whatever makes you the most comfortable, but we’ll use the word clitoris here just for clarity.

“Wait, the clitoris grows? How much?”

Your clitoris will grow on testosterone! The average size it ends up seems to be around 1.2 inches give or take. Some folks have even ended up with a 3-inch length, but this is pretty rare!

I started testosterone on low-dose T and I still experienced clitoral growth within the first few months. Genital growth isn’t something you can opt out of if you take testosterone; again, if you take T, you can’t prevent your clitoris from growing because it’s one of the first changes you get. 

Clitoral growth from testosterone comes from the stimulation of the androgen receptors in your clitoris. 

It is possible that you will have a larger growth if you have a rather large clit already, but it isn’t guaranteed.

If you’re pre-T and already have a larger clitoris, then there’s a chance that you won’t experience as much growth because your androgen receptors have already maxed out, so there’s not as much room left for change so you’ll end up with an average size. 

There’s also the chance that you’ll end up a larger clitoral size than average if you start with a larger size and continue to have a normal growth, so you might not have more growth than usual but you’d still end up bigger. 

So basically pre-T clitoral size isn’t necessarily going to indicate what size you’ll end up on after testosterone.

“Does it hurt?”

Sometimes. You don’t usually feel pain from it growing or feel it grow, and it doesn’t grow long enough to affect your sitting. Once you get used to it, it doesn’t really feel like anything unusual. It became normal pretty quickly, and I only really notice the difference when I shower and during sex.

Some people do experience some pain from the new growth rubbing on their underwear when it first starts to happen, but wearing wearing tighter underwear (made of soft fabric, without seams) so that your body isn’t brushing against loose fabric and it’s more “contained”/held closer to your body can help. 

To prevent chafing, you can also use something body-safe on your glans as a protectant/barrier. Some people apply a little cocoa butter (the raw kind that you have to melt a little in your hands, not Palmer’s), coconut oil, or silicone lube so it doesn’t rub.

And not everyone experiences pain from chafing- I didn’t experience any pain or irritation from clitoral growth at all besides one incident when I went swimming after a month or two on T and the chlorine in the pool hurt a bit.

“Do I need to clean it?”

Yes, every time you shower you should carefully clean your clitoris gently with warm water, just like cis men are supposed to clean their penises if they’re uncircumsized. 

Pull back the foreskin/hood and make sure you rinse and (gently!) rub off any smegma around your glans and corona. And just to be clear, it’s only your external genitals you want to clean - your internal genital area is self-cleaning and will not appreciate water or (especially!) soap interfering with it. Soap isn’t necessary and can make hygiene problems worse by throwing off the PH balance in the area, but if you really want to, get something gentle and unperfumed.

“What does it look like?”

Right now, I don’t have many good non-sexual lower growth links to share because of Tumblr’s adult content purge.

There’s one Imgur post here showing lower growth standing and sitting, which only represents one person’s body but it’s a good non-sexual clitoris picture which sounds like an oxymoron but isn’t.

You can see some bottom growth pictures on Reddit’s FtMPorn forum too, which is explicitly trans-centric. But most of those pictures are sexual pictures, so you will see what lower growth looks like, but they have sexual captions and sometimes the person in the picture is wet/aroused and occasionally a toy/penis penetration is involved so you get a little more than what you’re looking for on that forum and you really need to be prepared to See Some Things.

There’s another Reddit group here but it isn’t a group moderated by and for transgender people, it’s mostly targeted towards cis women who want clitoral growth, so the mod’s intentions might be a little more kink/fetish-y than education for the trans population. But it does have pictures.

This is someone’s drawing reference guide on clitoral growth changes, for any artists out there/folks who don’t want to see actual genitals.

You can see pics of people’s before/after pics of clitoral growth then metoidioplasty surgery on the TransBucket website as well, but you won’t look like this unless you get surgery- some people see meta results and assume that just testosterone will give them testicles which isn’t the case.

“Does it affect peeing?”

No, clitoris growth does not affect how you use the bathroom. Your clitoris grows larger, but you pee through your urethra- not your clitoris. 

Your urethra  stays the same unless you get surgery to have a urethral lengthening as part of lower/bottom surgery

You will still need a device to stand to pee if you want to use the urinals in the men’s bathroom

“Can I get my clitoris pierced?”

You can get a piercing in your clitoral hood/”foreskin” if you want to. You can see some of those pics here (tw for nsfw): 1, 2, 3, 4

Avoid one of the well-known piercers, Elayne Angel, the ex-wife of Buck Angel, since she’s transphobic.

Getting a genital piercing pre-T is also possible, so you don’t need to wait for clitoral growth if you don’t want to.

“Do you have any info on pumping?”

Some people believe that pumping can cause small increases in clitoral size over time, but other people say that the effect is temporary and limited to a short time after pumping.

Pumping information:

Shopping for a pump:

“Why DHT if I’m already on T?”

DHT is short for dihydrotestosterone, and it can cause growth in the clitoris after you’ve been on testosterone for 2 years and gotten all the growth you’ll get without intervention. 

While the clitoris does grow on testosterone, it doesn’t always reach the maximum size possible for it because the androgen receptors aren’t filled. 

DHT can sometimes add a few centimeters or even an inch of growth, which is really a significant difference with a surgery like meta where every centimeter matters.

People getting a meta are sometimes recommended to take DHT for 3 months before the operation to maximize lower growth, but there’s currently no easy legal way to access DHT in the USA. 

It used to be available online through the All Saint’s Clinic and other vendors, and some folks have gotten it locally through compounding pharmacies.

“Will my clitoris go back to its original size if I stop testosterone?”

No. If you stop testosterone, your clitoris will keep around the same growth it had reached on T, and shouldn’t increase or decrease much in size.

I have heard anecdotally from a few people who took my informal survey that stopping testosterone changed their clitoral size a little bit, so it’s possible that topical estrogen may impact size a small amount too.

Here are their responses on this question:

  • I did not lose or gain length after stopping testosterone: 18 people
  • I lost less than .5 cm in length after stopping testosterone: 8 people
  • I lost 1 cm in length after stopping testosterone: 3 people
  • I gained less than 1 cm after stopping testosterone: 1 person

As you can see, the majority (60%) said they didn’t experience any changes in clitoral size after stopping testosterone, but of course this is a hella small sample size and an informal survey and you’d still be on T so the situation isn’t quite the same, so take that with a grain of salt.

A de-transitioned person who stopped T told me that in their experience, their clitoris didn’t get as hard/erect in the same way as it did when they were on T so it doesn’t look as large as it did before, so a few people I’ve heard of take Cialis or a similar erectile dysfunction medication when they want to have sex if that difference bothers them.

“Wait, I can take erectile dysfunction medications?”

You need to talk to your doctor about it, but yes, you can. 

When you have a certain amount of clitoral growth, you can have erections. These erections aren’t typically noticeable if you’re wearing pants, and honestly you usually can’t even tell if someone is wearing underpants. 

But when you get to be familiar with your own body, you’ll be able to tell the difference between when it’s “hard” and sticking out a little versus “soft” and not as prominent. I can tell the difference on my own body and I can see the difference on my partner (who is also on testosterone).

Erectile dysfunction medication typically won’t make your clitoris any longer, but it will make it a little firmer.

Most folks on T don’t do this because it isn’t necessary, but it’s more common for people who stopped T (as mentioned above) and for post-metoidioplasty folks who have been advised to try it earlier on post-op to prevent retraction, or who want to maximize their “firmness” for sex to make penetration easier.

Some erectile dysfunction medication can interact with HIV medications, so if you’re HIV-positive make sure you talk to your doctor about possible mediation interactions.

Erectile dysfunction medication can also affect your blood pressure, so again, if you have high blood pressure or low blood pressure make sure you talk to your doctor about the best way to make sure you’re healthy while taking the medication. (In my EMT training, we are instructed not to assist with administering nitroglycerin for chest pain if someone has taken erectile dysfunction medication).

I know ordering the meds online can seem tempting, but like the Mayo Clinic website says, “Check to see if an online pharmacy is legitimate. Never order medications from an online pharmacy if there’s no way to contact the pharmacy by phone, if prices seem too good to be true or if you’re told no prescription is necessary. Some illegal businesses sell counterfeit versions of legitimate medications, which can be ineffective or dangerous. In the U.S., the National Association of Boards of Pharmacy can tell you whether an online pharmacy is licensed and in good standing.”

Do not order any medication that does not require a prescription from a doctor- this is illegal and the medication is probably fake or dangerous. Similarly, herbs and “natural” ED treatments are a scam and also possibly dangerous, and they will not work or be effective at all. 

If you have any health issues or disabilities at all, make sure you’re talking with your doctor about the safety of erectile dysfunction medication given your particular conditions.

“What’s vaginal atrophy?”

T can cause atrophy of the vagina and and uterus, and vaginal atrophy is symptomized as irritation, itchiness, dryness, and bleeding when penetrated.

It sounds scary, but it isn’t! Vaginal atrophy is treatable if you go to your doctor and get a topical estrogen cream or pill for the area. 

From the Mayo Clinic: Vaginal estrogen therapy comes in several forms. Because they all seem to work equally well, you and your doctor can decide which one is best for you.

  • Vaginal estrogen cream. You insert this cream directly into your vagina with an applicator, usually at bedtime. Your doctor will let you know how much cream to use and how often to insert it. Typically people use it daily for one to three weeks and then one to three times a week thereafter. Although creams may offer faster relief than do other forms of vaginal estrogen, they can be messier.
  • Vaginal estrogen ring. You or your doctor inserts a soft, flexible ring into the upper part of the vagina. The ring releases a consistent dose of estrogen while in place and needs to be replaced about every three months.
  • Vaginal estrogen tablet. You use a disposable applicator to place a vaginal estrogen tablet in your vagina. Your doctor will let you know how often to insert the tablet. You might, for instance, use it daily for the first two weeks and then twice a week thereafter.

I also have talked to a trans guy who took topical estrogen and still continued to experience more clitoral growth, so if you start topical estrogen while you’re still experiencing clitoral growth (which can often continue for 2 years), likely it won’t matter in your ultimate size.

I was briefly on topical estrogen for atrophy myself (more info on that is here), and it did not impact my clitoral size, and I also continued to take testosterone during that period and did not “detransition”.

Right now, there haven’t been any studies on how topical estrogen impacts clitoral growth in transgender people, but I would personally hypothesize that it wouldn’t prevent growth.

Using extra lube during sex can help when you have mild atrophy, so don’t let lube slip your mind! Check out All About Lube for more info on how to choose one.

“Do I still need to go to the gynecologist? When should I start seeing one?”

Yes, when on T you still need to get gynecologist appointments if you still have your uterus, ovaries, and cervix.

The New York Times article “When to Start With a Gynecologist?” says:

“A screening visit concerning reproductive preventive health care is recommended between the ages of 13 and 15, but the appointment doesn’t necessarily have to be with a gynecologist. Many pediatricians and family physicians are comfortable with this, so whom a teenager should see will vary depending on the circumstances.

A first gynecologist visit should happen at the age of 21 for cervical cancer screening, however, anyone who is younger than 21 and is sexually active should be seeing a provider who is comfortable with gynecologic care for annual chlamydia screening.

Other reasons to see an OB/GYN before the age of 21 include irregular periods, heavy periods (soaking onto clothes is a good proxy for being heavy), or period pain that is interfering with daily activities despite the use of over the counter pain medications, such as acetaminophen or ibuprofen.”

We have a post on gynecologist appointments here!

“Will I need a hysterectomy?”

No, it used to be recommended that everyone on testosterone get a hysterectomy but now it turns out that hysterectomies aren’t automatically medically necessary for everyone on T.

There are possible but as of yet unproven links between cervical and ovarian cancer and testosterone treatment, but no, you don’t need one just because you’re on T. 

“What does this mean for lower surgery?”

Metoidioplasty is the only type of lower surgery that relies on clitoral growth because phalloplasty isn’t influenced by clitoral size.

Our Bottom surgery (genital surgery) page has more info on this, so I’ll copy the metoidioplasty-related links below:

There are many other questions on the Bottom surgery (genital surgery) page so the links above are just a sample of questions you might be interested in!

“How will this affect my sex life?”

You can still masturbate and have all kinds of sex while on T, and you can still orgasm. Some people say that they orgasm quicker after being on T, some say it takes longer- but I’ve never heard of someone losing the ability. You may have to relearn your body and technique now that your clitoris is bigger, but hey- it’s more of a good thing!

However, your vagina may not self-lubricate as much anymore so you might want to use more lubricant for anything that involves vaginal penetration.

You may also be able to shallowly penetrate a partner a little bit with your clitoris, but this is typically difficult for folks unless they gained a lot of growth. But it is possible for some people, and using prosthetics that attach to the clitoris like the Hot Rod can be an aid for people as well.

More info:

T and your Genitals: A summary is a good place for more info on genital changes.

If you want to see the range of clitoral sizes possible, take the anonymous clitoral size survey and you can see everyone else’s responses at the end including the responses from people on T. You can take the survey with or without being on T.

Fun fact: it turns out I can see what Google searches brought people to this page:

Lee says:

If anyone is willing to help me out, I’m looking to reboot the anonymous survey measuring clitoral growth on testosterone!

Since people have been asking how much clitoral growth people get on testosterone, I’m looking to collect some informal data on people’s personal experiences.

I’ve put a question at the end to ask for feedback on what y’all think of the survey and how I can make it better.

This survey only applies to people who were assigned female at birth; however, you don’t need to be on testosterone to respond.

Please boost and share this link:

Avatar

Can you give more info on what happens to my downstairs bits on T?

  • Your period will stop, your clitoris will get a bit bigger, and your vaginal walls will get a bit thinner and things may be drier down there.
  • Menstruation stops within in 2-6 months on an average testosterone dose and then it’s gone as long as you stay on T
  • Clitoral enlargement is one of the earliest changes people tend to notice, and it starts around 3-6 months on an average dose of T, and continues to grow for 1-2 years
  • But it all depends on the individual, as some people experience some changes faster than others regardless of their testosterone levels

“Bottom growth? Huh?”

People sometimes say “bottom growth” as a euphemism for what doctors call “clitoromegaly” and what we’ll call “clitoral growth”. Trans folks may use “lower growth” or similar terms because they may not want to refer to their genitals with certain words because of dysphoria.

“What is the clitoris?”

The clitoris is the nerve center of the genital area for AFAB people. It’s an organ that exists for sexual pleasure, and it’s very sensitive. It’s located in front of your urethra and vagina. @whoneedssexed is a good resource if you want to learn more about sex or your body and how it works.

Some folks call it a “t-dick” or refer to it as their junk or their penis, and you can call it whatever makes you the most comfortable, but we’ll use the word clitoris here just for clarity.

“Wait, the clitoris grows? How much?”

Your clitoris will grow on testosterone! The average size it ends up seems to be around 1.2 inches give or take. Some folks have even ended up with a 3-inch length, but this is pretty rare!

I started testosterone on low-dose T and I still experienced clitoral growth within the first few months. Genital growth isn’t something you can opt out of if you take testosterone; again, if you take T, you can’t prevent your clitoris from growing because it’s one of the first changes you get. 

Clitoral growth from testosterone comes from the stimulation of the androgen receptors in your clitoris. 

It is possible that you will have a larger growth if you have a rather large clit already, but it isn’t guaranteed.

If you’re pre-T and already have a larger clitoris, then there’s a chance that you won’t experience as much growth because your androgen receptors have already maxed out, so there’s not as much room left for change so you’ll end up with an average size. 

There’s also the chance that you’ll end up a larger clitoral size than average if you start with a larger size and continue to have a normal growth, so you might not have more growth than usual but you’d still end up bigger. 

So basically pre-T clitoral size isn’t necessarily going to indicate what size you’ll end up on after testosterone.

“Does it hurt?”

Sometimes. You don’t usually feel pain from it growing or feel it grow, and it doesn’t grow long enough to affect your sitting. Once you get used to it, it doesn’t really feel like anything unusual. It became normal pretty quickly, and I only really notice the difference when I shower and during sex.

Some people do experience some pain from the new growth rubbing on their underwear when it first starts to happen, but wearing wearing tighter underwear (made of soft fabric, without seams) so that your body isn’t brushing against loose fabric and it’s more “contained”/held closer to your body can help. 

To prevent chafing, you can also use something body-safe on your glans as a protectant/barrier. Some people apply a little cocoa butter (the raw kind that you have to melt a little in your hands, not Palmer’s), coconut oil, or silicone lube so it doesn’t rub.

And not everyone experiences pain from chafing- I didn’t experience any pain or irritation from clitoral growth at all besides one incident when I went swimming after a month or two on T and the chlorine in the pool hurt a bit.

“Do I need to clean it?”

Yes, every time you shower you should carefully clean your clitoris gently with warm water, just like cis men are supposed to clean their penises if they’re uncircumsized. 

Pull back the foreskin/hood and make sure you rinse and (gently!) rub off any smegma around your glans and corona. And just to be clear, it’s only your external genitals you want to clean - your internal genital area is self-cleaning and will not appreciate water or (especially!) soap interfering with it. Soap isn’t necessary and can make hygiene problems worse by throwing off the PH balance in the area, but if you really want to, get something gentle and unperfumed.

“What does it look like?”

Right now, I don’t have many good non-sexual lower growth links to share because of Tumblr’s adult content purge.

There’s one Imgur post here showing lower growth standing and sitting, which only represents one person’s body but it’s a good non-sexual clitoris picture which sounds like an oxymoron but isn’t.

You can see some bottom growth pictures on Reddit’s FtMPorn forum too, which is explicitly trans-centric. But most of those pictures are sexual pictures, so you will see what lower growth looks like, but they have sexual captions and sometimes the person in the picture is wet/aroused and occasionally a toy/penis penetration is involved so you get a little more than what you’re looking for on that forum and you really need to be prepared to See Some Things.

There’s another Reddit group here but it isn’t a group moderated by and for transgender people, it’s mostly targeted towards cis women who want clitoral growth, so the mod’s intentions might be a little more kink/fetish-y than education for the trans population. But it does have pictures.

This is someone’s drawing reference guide on clitoral growth changes, for any artists out there/folks who don’t want to see actual genitals.

You can see pics of people’s before/after pics of clitoral growth then metoidioplasty surgery on the TransBucket website as well, but you won’t look like this unless you get surgery- some people see meta results and assume that just testosterone will give them testicles which isn’t the case.

“Does it affect peeing?”

No, clitoris growth does not affect how you use the bathroom. Your clitoris grows larger, but you pee through your urethra- not your clitoris. 

Your urethra  stays the same unless you get surgery to have a urethral lengthening as part of lower/bottom surgery

You will still need a device to stand to pee if you want to use the urinals in the men’s bathroom

“Can I get my clitoris pierced?”

You can get a piercing in your clitoral hood/”foreskin” if you want to. You can see some of those pics here (tw for nsfw): 1, 2, 3, 4

Avoid one of the well-known piercers, Elayne Angel, the ex-wife of Buck Angel, since she’s transphobic.

Getting a genital piercing pre-T is also possible, so you don’t need to wait for clitoral growth if you don’t want to.

“Do you have any info on pumping?”

Some people believe that pumping can cause small increases in clitoral size over time, but other people say that the effect is temporary and limited to a short time after pumping.

Pumping information:

Shopping for a pump:

“Why DHT if I’m already on T?”

DHT is short for dihydrotestosterone, and it can cause growth in the clitoris after you’ve been on testosterone for 2 years and gotten all the growth you’ll get without intervention. 

While the clitoris does grow on testosterone, it doesn’t always reach the maximum size possible for it because the androgen receptors aren’t filled. 

DHT can sometimes add a few centimeters or even an inch of growth, which is really a significant difference with a surgery like meta where every centimeter matters.

People getting a meta are sometimes recommended to take DHT for 3 months before the operation to maximize lower growth, but there’s currently no easy legal way to access DHT in the USA. 

It used to be available online through the All Saint’s Clinic and other vendors, and some folks have gotten it locally through compounding pharmacies.

“Will my clitoris go back to its original size if I stop testosterone?”

No. If you stop testosterone, your clitoris will keep around the same growth it had reached on T, and shouldn’t increase or decrease much in size.

I have heard anecdotally from a few people who took my informal survey that stopping testosterone changed their clitoral size a little bit, so it’s possible that topical estrogen may impact size a small amount too.

Here are their responses on this question:

  • I did not lose or gain length after stopping testosterone: 18 people
  • I lost less than .5 cm in length after stopping testosterone: 8 people
  • I lost 1 cm in length after stopping testosterone: 3 people
  • I gained less than 1 cm after stopping testosterone: 1 person

As you can see, the majority (60%) said they didn’t experience any changes in clitoral size after stopping testosterone, but of course this is a hella small sample size and an informal survey and you’d still be on T so the situation isn’t quite the same, so take that with a grain of salt.

A de-transitioned person who stopped T told me that in their experience, their clitoris didn’t get as hard/erect in the same way as it did when they were on T so it doesn’t look as large as it did before, so a few people I’ve heard of take Cialis or a similar erectile dysfunction medication when they want to have sex if that difference bothers them.

“Wait, I can take erectile dysfunction medications?”

You need to talk to your doctor about it, but yes, you can. 

When you have a certain amount of clitoral growth, you can have erections. These erections aren’t typically noticeable if you’re wearing pants, and honestly you usually can’t even tell if someone is wearing underpants. 

But when you get to be familiar with your own body, you’ll be able to tell the difference between when it’s “hard” and sticking out a little versus “soft” and not as prominent. I can tell the difference on my own body and I can see the difference on my partner (who is also on testosterone).

Erectile dysfunction medication typically won’t make your clitoris any longer, but it will make it a little firmer.

Most folks on T don’t do this because it isn’t necessary, but it’s more common for people who stopped T (as mentioned above) and for post-metoidioplasty folks who have been advised to try it earlier on post-op to prevent retraction, or who want to maximize their “firmness” for sex to make penetration easier.

Some erectile dysfunction medication can interact with HIV medications, so if you’re HIV-positive make sure you talk to your doctor about possible mediation interactions.

Erectile dysfunction medication can also affect your blood pressure, so again, if you have high blood pressure or low blood pressure make sure you talk to your doctor about the best way to make sure you’re healthy while taking the medication. (In my EMT training, we are instructed not to assist with administering nitroglycerin for chest pain if someone has taken erectile dysfunction medication).

I know ordering the meds online can seem tempting, but like the Mayo Clinic website says, “Check to see if an online pharmacy is legitimate. Never order medications from an online pharmacy if there’s no way to contact the pharmacy by phone, if prices seem too good to be true or if you’re told no prescription is necessary. Some illegal businesses sell counterfeit versions of legitimate medications, which can be ineffective or dangerous. In the U.S., the National Association of Boards of Pharmacy can tell you whether an online pharmacy is licensed and in good standing.”

Do not order any medication that does not require a prescription from a doctor- this is illegal and the medication is probably fake or dangerous. Similarly, herbs and “natural” ED treatments are a scam and also possibly dangerous, and they will not work or be effective at all. 

If you have any health issues or disabilities at all, make sure you’re talking with your doctor about the safety of erectile dysfunction medication given your particular conditions.

“What’s vaginal atrophy?”

T can cause atrophy of the vagina and and uterus, and vaginal atrophy is symptomized as irritation, itchiness, dryness, and bleeding when penetrated.

It sounds scary, but it isn’t! Vaginal atrophy is treatable if you go to your doctor and get a topical estrogen cream or pill for the area. 

From the Mayo Clinic: Vaginal estrogen therapy comes in several forms. Because they all seem to work equally well, you and your doctor can decide which one is best for you.

  • Vaginal estrogen cream. You insert this cream directly into your vagina with an applicator, usually at bedtime. Your doctor will let you know how much cream to use and how often to insert it. Typically people use it daily for one to three weeks and then one to three times a week thereafter. Although creams may offer faster relief than do other forms of vaginal estrogen, they can be messier.
  • Vaginal estrogen ring. You or your doctor inserts a soft, flexible ring into the upper part of the vagina. The ring releases a consistent dose of estrogen while in place and needs to be replaced about every three months.
  • Vaginal estrogen tablet. You use a disposable applicator to place a vaginal estrogen tablet in your vagina. Your doctor will let you know how often to insert the tablet. You might, for instance, use it daily for the first two weeks and then twice a week thereafter.

I also have talked to a trans guy who took topical estrogen and still continued to experience more clitoral growth, so if you start topical estrogen while you’re still experiencing clitoral growth (which can often continue for 2 years), likely it won’t matter in your ultimate size.

I was briefly on topical estrogen for atrophy myself (more info on that is here), and it did not impact my clitoral size, and I also continued to take testosterone during that period and did not “detransition”.

Right now, there haven’t been any studies on how topical estrogen impacts clitoral growth in transgender people, but I would personally hypothesize that it wouldn’t prevent growth.

Using extra lube during sex can help when you have mild atrophy, so don’t let lube slip your mind! Check out All About Lube for more info on how to choose one.

“Do I still need to go to the gynecologist? When should I start seeing one?”

Yes, when on T you still need to get gynecologist appointments if you still have your uterus, ovaries, and cervix.

The New York Times article “When to Start With a Gynecologist?” says:

“A screening visit concerning reproductive preventive health care is recommended between the ages of 13 and 15, but the appointment doesn’t necessarily have to be with a gynecologist. Many pediatricians and family physicians are comfortable with this, so whom a teenager should see will vary depending on the circumstances.

A first gynecologist visit should happen at the age of 21 for cervical cancer screening, however, anyone who is younger than 21 and is sexually active should be seeing a provider who is comfortable with gynecologic care for annual chlamydia screening.

Other reasons to see an OB/GYN before the age of 21 include irregular periods, heavy periods (soaking onto clothes is a good proxy for being heavy), or period pain that is interfering with daily activities despite the use of over the counter pain medications, such as acetaminophen or ibuprofen.”

We have a post on gynecologist appointments here!

“Will I need a hysterectomy?”

No, it used to be recommended that everyone on testosterone get a hysterectomy but now it turns out that hysterectomies aren’t automatically medically necessary for everyone on T.

There are possible but as of yet unproven links between cervical and ovarian cancer and testosterone treatment, but no, you don’t need one just because you’re on T. 

“What does this mean for lower surgery?”

Metoidioplasty is the only type of lower surgery that relies on clitoral growth because phalloplasty isn’t influenced by clitoral size.

Our Bottom surgery (genital surgery) page has more info on this, so I’ll copy the metoidioplasty-related links below:

There are many other questions on the Bottom surgery (genital surgery) page so the links above are just a sample of questions you might be interested in!

“How will this affect my sex life?”

You can still masturbate and have all kinds of sex while on T, and you can still orgasm. Some people say that they orgasm quicker after being on T, some say it takes longer- but I’ve never heard of someone losing the ability. You may have to relearn your body and technique now that your clitoris is bigger, but hey- it’s more of a good thing!

However, your vagina may not self-lubricate as much anymore so you might want to use more lubricant for anything that involves vaginal penetration.

You may also be able to shallowly penetrate a partner a little bit with your clitoris, but this is typically difficult for folks unless they gained a lot of growth. But it is possible for some people, and using prosthetics that attach to the clitoris like the Hot Rod can be an aid for people as well.

More info:

T and your Genitals: A summary is a good place for more info on genital changes.

If you want to see the range of clitoral sizes possible, take the anonymous clitoral size survey and you can see everyone else’s responses at the end including the responses from people on T. You can take the survey with or without being on T.

Fun fact: it turns out I can see what Google searches brought people to this page:

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Anonymous asked:

Question, it's a little nsfw but it's for medical reasons

In the near future I'm looking to start testosterone and get both top and bottom surgery. I don't know how far out bottom surgery is but my boyfriend told me about something that I've been thinking about nonstop since.

[nsfw starts here]

Once I'm on T long enough to have an as-grown-as-possible t-dick I want to get a metoidioplasty. But recently my boyfriend has been hearing of this thing called "andro-gel" that has chemicals in it that makes the clitoris grow larger? And I don't know anything about andro-gel but from what my boyfriend has picked up it does so for good.

So my question was: Would it be safe to, before getting the metoidioplasty, use it to make my t-dick larger? Or, would it be safer to use it after the metoidioplasty? Do you know anything about this or have any resources on this?

Lee says:

Your boyfriend is thinking of Andractim, not Androgel!

I used Androgel and generic testosterone gel for 12 months before I switched to injections, and my partner uses testosterone gel too. 

Androgel is just a brand name of testosterone gel. Testosterone gel is used as an option for people who don’t want to do testosterone injections.

Both the injectible, patch, and gel forms of testosterone will cause clitoral growth; Androgel does not have a unique chemical that will achieve this any better than taking testosterone via injection or other method. 

This is because the testosterone travels around to your whole body; your endocrine system doesn’t limit the effects of the gel to the area where it was applied, so the changes you get are dependant on the level of testosterone in your blood. When I was on Androgel, I applied it to my upper back/shoulder area; but I didn’t only experience changes on the area the gel covered or I would have had to take a bath in it every day to get T changes! Even though the gel was only on my shoulders, I still got my leg hair, a deeper voice, clitoral growth, etc.

Regardless of what form your take your testosterone in, it typically takes two years on testosterone before people have achieved the majority of the clitioral growth they will have, which is why it’s usually recommended to wait until you’ve been on T for 2 years before you get a metoidioplasty.

After 2 years on T, you likely won’t achieve significant changes there, so if you choose to get surgery you’re doing it knowing what size you’ll end up with because metoidioplasty doesn’t significantly increase length; the size you go in with is the size you come out with.

People who get a meta earlier than 2 years on T might be unhappy with their t-dick size but are assuming it’ll continue to grow, but they may have already reached their max size. So they get their surgery, then after some time passes and they haven’t grown any, they realize they actually are uncomfortable with their size and regret their choice.

If you’ve been on T for two years and you’ve gotten the majority of the changes you’re going to get, then it makes sense to try and maximize your growth before deciding whether metoidioplasty is for you. If you’re sure that the surgery is right for you, then it’s fine to try and maximize your growth either before surgery or after, it won’t influence the outcome.

Some people hope that applying Androgel directly on the clitoris might encourage more growth than you’d get if you applied Androgel where the packet says you should. There isn’t any research on whether this is helpful or effective, and the safety warning insert that comes with Androgel explicitly says to not apply it on the genital area. 

Androgel is a controlled substance, like all testosterone prescriptions in the US, which means you will need a prescription to get it. If you talk to your doctor, they might give you a prescription for generic testosterone gel, or the name brand Androgel to use directly on your clitoris if you want to be a lab rat and see what will happen. This would likely be in addition to the testosterone you are using as HRT in general.

Testosterone gel is also alcohol-based, which means it will burn like hell if you put it on your genital area which is very sensitive. This doesn’t mean you can’t do it if you want to and your doctor says you can try it, but many people try it once or twice and then decide to give up because it hurts instead of doing it daily for months, which is what might be necessary to create any changes (if it has any effect at all).

But the reason that any people are even using Androgel in the first place is because they aren’t able to get access to DHT, which is much more effective than Androgel in causing clitoral growth.

DHT is short for dihydrotestosterone, and it can cause growth in the clitoris after you’ve been on testosterone for 2 years and gotten all the growth you’ll get without intervention. While the clitoris does grow on testosterone, it doesn’t always reach the maximum size possible for it because the androgen receptors aren’t filled. DHT can sometimes add a few centimeters or even an inch of growth, which is really a significant difference with a surgery like meta where every centimeter matters. 

Andractim is one of the brand names for DHT gel, and DHT is currently legal in the US if you get it with a prescription, but it’s also almost 100% unavailable here, and even compounding pharmacies rarely have the ingredients and components necessary to manufacture it.

That being said, I do have four tubes of Andractim here in my closet, and no, I will not be explaining how I got it so don’t ask! I will disclose that I paid out of pocket, and the total cost including shipping was £265 GBP. Converted to USD, that’s $327 which is expensive but not awful in comparison to the typical out of pocket for testosterone gel in the US, or compared to the price for surgery or a good prosthetic. Each tube has 80 grams of 2.5% DHT gel.

People getting a meta are sometimes recommended to take DHT for 3 months before the operation to maximize lower growth, but there’s currently no legal way to access DHT. It used to be available online through the All Saint’s Clinic and other vendors, but now they all say they’re out of stock and are “are unable to supply Andractim for the foreseeable future.” 

There’s pretty much no studies on the use of DHT in transmasculine people for these purposes so all the guidelines are more or less guesswork, but the instruction packet that comes with DHT says the dose is 2.5 g every other day for local application. Some trans folk recommend applying 4x daily with ~0.4 grams (about the size of a fingernail) per application totaling ~1.6 grams of gel daily. When considering your dose, remember the gel is 2.5% DHT and the transdermal bioavailability of DHT is approximately 10%. As always, I’m only sharing these numbers with you so you have context for your conversations with your medical professionals who should be prescribing a specific dose for you to use.

Side effects of DHT are similar to those of T, including increased testosterone levels in your body, high cholesterol, and increased hemoglobin and hematocrit which can lead to cause polycythemia which increases the risk of embolisms and strokes. This means regular blood work needs to be performed to check your testosterone, cholesterol, and red blood cell levels. Monitoring to make sure you don’t develop polycythemia is very important and the lab work will indicate if you need to adjust or lower either your dose of DHT or your dose of T.

The duration of treatment with DHT is typically 3 months- after that, people usually don’t report any additional gains. Some people cycle it 2 weeks on, 1 week off, then repeat until they have been on it for 3 months in total to try and reduce hair loss.

DHT isn’t generally recommended unless you’re 2+ years on T and still haven’t gotten as much gains and you’d like and are trying to max out your androgen receptors. DHT also has the side effect of causing a receding hairline and baldness in some folks, so that’s... something.

Two great resources on DHT that I really recommend you read:

  1. DHT for transgender men
  2. DHT/Andractim Information

But yeah, right now DHT is not legally available in the USA, as far as I’m aware. So even though you want Andractim, not Androgel, you will (probably) not be able to get Andractim and will have to settle for Androgel-- which may or may not do anything at all.

If you’ve done all you can do (DHT + pumping + T + time) and you’re still not comfortable with your length and unsure if meta alone will be the right choice for your dysphoria, then you have to decide if you want to continue to pack when you’re post-meta with something like Transthetic’s The Rod, or consider getting phalloplasty instead of metoidioplasty.

Other links that may be helpful in your journey:

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Anonymous asked:

i’m a trans guy who’s been on t for about three months, and lately i’ve been passing well, but i have a very specific dysphoria about my hands? i have very slender, even fingers and very soft hands with no visible veins, and i do like wearing rings and the (classic) chipped black nails. is it too hopeful to think they might appear more masculine in the future? or should i just write it off as delicate artist hands? (thank you for your blog, by the way!)

Lee says:

No matter what thing you’re worried about, there’s still time for it to happen if you’re only 3 months on T.

Now, if it hasn’t happened in say, 5 years, then maybe start considering whether it’ll ever happen or if you’ve reached the end of the line with those changes. But at 3 months, you have nothing to worry about because you’re still at the start of your journey!

Our Testosterone FAQ has some info on the timeline of changes you should expect on T, including a copy of the table from the WPATH-SOC:

The table says:

  • Skin oiliness and acne: starts within 1 - 6 months, changes continue for 1 - 2 years
  • Facial / body hair growth: starts around 6 months to a year from starting HRT, changes continue for 4 - 5 years
  • Hair loss on your head, if you’re old enough for this to happen: sometime in the first year
  • Increased muscle mass: sometime in the first year, changes continue for 2 - 5 years
  • Fat redistribution: starts in 1 - 6 months, changes continue for 2 - 5 years
  • Period stops: stops in 2 - 6 months and then it’s gone as long as you stay on T
  • Clitoral enlargement: starts around 3 - 6 months, changes continue for  around 1 - 2 years
  • Vaginal atrophy: starts around 3 - 6 months, changes continue for  around 1 - 2 years
  • Voice getting deeper: starts around 6 - 12 months, changes continue for around 1 - 2 years

Some people start noticing changes a lot earlier than what the chart lists as the average onset, but there are a lot of people who don’t experience changes right away, as the ranges in the chart indicate, and that doesn’t mean that they’ll never happen.

So when someone says “I’m 3 months on T, will X thing happen in the future or have all the changes that might happen with X thing already happened?” I always have to say this:

At 3 months on T you’re just at the very start of when you might be noticing the onset of changes like increased body hair and fat redistribution. And those changes can continue to develop for 5 years until your body has reached its “fully masculinized” potential.

I’m 3 years on T, and my hands are still small and slender, and I don’t have too many visible veins either. I don’t really know what you mean by having even fingers though? But I do like wearing rings- as you can see from my dinosaur spinner ring here! (It used to look like this when it was new lol).

I don’t really spend much time thinking about my hands, and nobody’s ever commented on them so I don’t really think anyone else notices them or cares about them in any manner, but I don’t think testosterone has changed them very much in the past 3 years. They’re more-or-less as feminine as they were before, but I don’t really think it’s a big deal because nobody is paying attention to em!

The biggest difference is the small amount of hair that’s starting to trail onto the back of my hand (you can kind of see some of it on the left side) and the small amount of hair that’s starting to grow on my knuckles.

Some folks report that their hands become a bit wider on T which may be attributed to cartilage, muscle, or connective tissue growth. People also get bigger and wider hands with age sometimes; there are plenty of folks I know who had to get their wedding bands resized when they grew older and/or gained weight and their hands did too.

Personally, I’m 21 and only 3 years on T, and I know that I’m still not at the endpoint of my transition. In my case, I’m guessing that my hands won’t significantly change shape or size in the next few years, but I do think that they’re going to keep growing more hair because my dad has hairy hands, so it might be in my genetics.

I think that you should hold out hope for a while longer- give it half a decade then see what you think! 

In the meantime, check out the Dysphoria page and try to stay patient- I know it sucks, but waiting is all you can do at this point. So focus on the things you can influence!

Followers say:

uncleghostt said: Also important to remember that things can change with age, not just testosterone! Plenty of young men have "softer" looking hands and don't see differences until they are older (guess that depends on how old you are though). But still, be patient :)

mamapluto said: I'm 6 months on t. I've always had tiny baby hands. Mine are still small, but they def already look different. It can be hard to notice changes on a body parts you see every day. I found it's easier to think about guy's hands I like, then think about my own. It's easier to recognize the similarities to cis guys' than differences from my own past ones.

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Anonymous asked:

hey kinda urgent but i've been on average dose T for a month now and have had 0 changes ... every guide ever seems to say you'll notice stuff by the 1 month mark but i haven't ... is this normal?

Lee says:

Yes!! I can’t emphasize how normal that is!! Some people experience changes faster than others do and it’s all normal!

You also might just not be noticing when you’re experiencing changes because they’re so subtle and occur so slowly. Children generally don’t wake up one day and say “hey, I’m taller and bigger than I was last month!” but somehow we do grow up and grow taller without being aware of it, and one day the clothes that used to fit us just don’t fit anymore. Taking pictures of yourself and recording your voice can help you compare your changes more objectively. But even if you haven’t experienced any changes at all, it’s totally normal and there’s not necessarily anything wrong!

I’m not sure what guides you’re reading that say you’ll be noticing a lot of differences by 1 month on T; it’s certainly not what our Testosterone FAQ says! That page has more info about this, but I’ll restate it again below.

Here’s a table from the WPATH-SOC:

The table says:

  • Skin oiliness and acne: starts within 1 - 6 months, changes continue for 1 - 2 years
  • Facial / body hair growth: starts around 6 months to a year from starting HRT, changes continue for 4 - 5 years
  • Hair loss on your head, if you’re old enough for this to happen: sometime in the first year
  • Increased muscle mass: sometime in the first year, changes continue for 2 - 5 years
  • Fat redistribution: starts in 1 - 6 months, changes continue for 2 - 5 years
  • Period stops: stops in 2 - 6 months and then it’s gone as long as you stay on T
  • Clitoral enlargement: starts around 3 - 6 months, changes continue for  around 1 - 2 years 
  • Vaginal atrophy: starts around 3 - 6 months, changes continue for  around 1 - 2 years
  • Voice getting deeper: starts around 6 - 12 months, changes continue for around 1 - 2 years

As you can tell, there isn’t a single change listed that is expected to start occuring only within the first month! There are no expected onset ranges of 1 month-1 month!

The onset (start) of the change that’s expected first, acne and skin oiliness, is expected to happen within 1-6 months. That means it might happen in month 1 for one person, and it might happen in month 6 for another person. 

Some people start noticing changes a lot earlier than what the chart lists as the average onset, but there are a lot of people who don’t experience changes right away, as the ranges in the chart indicate, and that doesn’t mean that they’ll never happen. 

Doses aren’t universal though, it varies by the person. People who have a higher dose of T don’t necessarily experience changes faster than people on a lower dose- it all depends on how your body processes the T. The important bit is what your blood work shows your T levels to be, not the dose of T.

So two people on the same dose of T might have two different T levels after their first bloodwork, and one of them may have to do a higher dosage while the other may decrease their dosage, but in the end they’d both end up with the same levels even though they’re taking different amounts of T.

Being on an “average” dose doesn’t necessarily mean that your T levels are in the right range; some people need a higher-than-average dose (or a lower than average one) which is why an average dose is just an average. That’s one of the (numerous) reasons why you typically get blood work done at 3 months on T, at 6 months on T, then yearly after that (unless you change your dose and then have to do blood work 3 months after the change).

It sucks to have to wait, but I’d recommend just being patient for now! Make sure you have an appointment in 2 months to get your blood work done, and if you haven’t had any changes by then and your blood work shows there’s room to raise your testosterone dose, you should talk to your doc about raising the dose.

Again, more info on T changes is in our Testosterone FAQ.

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Anonymous asked:

uh kinda nsfw but I started T recently & now it really hurts too wear underwear. do you have any tips?

Lee says:

I personally didn’t have any discomfort from growth, but it is a pretty common thing to happen! The clitoris is really sensitive and it’s used to being covered by the clitoral hood, but when you have enough growth that the head is exposed it can rub against your underwear and be ouchy for a while.

You should try changing up what kind of underwear you wear as the first thing you attempt!

If you’re wearing more loose underwear now, wearing wearing tighter underwear that’s made of soft fabric, without seams can help. This seems counterintuitive, but if your clitoris/t-dick/lower growth isn’t continuously brushing against loose fabric then it’ll get less irritated by the rubbing.

The reverse might also be true, depending on your situation- if you’re currently wearing tight underwear and it hurts, then try looser underwear and see if that helps! Maybe having less pressure and letting things be freer will make a difference.

Basically, experiment with the style of your trunks/briefs/boxers/etc and see if any particular type or tightness makes things any different. 

You could even buy a cup if you wanted, and wear that with or without a jock as long as it’s positioned so you have an empty open space between your t-dick and your underwear so nothing is touching or rubbing. But I honestly wouldn’t recommend that, because you don’t want to do that for the rest of your life which means you kind of need to get the rubbing over with so your body gets used to it and becomes less sensitive- wearing a cup just avoids the issue which means it’ll be a problem for even longer.

To reduce chafing and keep things moisturized, you can also use something body-safe on your glans as a protectant/barrier. Some people apply a little cocoa butter or coconut oil, a tiny bit of Aquaphor, or a tiny bit of silicone lube. When the tip isn’t covered by the foreskin/hood, it can get a little drier than it would have otherwise which can also be irritating.

Try to keep your moisturizing limited to the glans/head of the t-dick (typically the part that’s newly exposed to the world and not happy about it) so you don’t upset the pH of the rest of your genital area.

The main thing is just giving your body time to desensitize and adjust. Eventually it’ll stop being painful, but it can take a few weeks or months for the discomfort to totally go away depending on the person. You can try to speed up the process by touching it yourself to try and get it used to being touched, again while using lots of lube, but really the most effective thing is time.

Followers, any advice for anon?

Followers say:

yourboiashketchum said: Anon, my growth pain was really bad. Sometimes it even felt like it was burning. This experience isn’t toooo common, so don’t worry about it that much, but it is very real. But, this entire time, I did not for one second regret going on testosterone. It was a pretty obnoxious bump in the road, but it was manageable, and passed with time.

anon said: (Genitals mention) To the anon asking about clitoral growth: When this started happening to me, I didn't notice it much at first. But when my junk started growing beyond the hood (the skin covering it) it started chafing against my underwear a lot because it was uncovered, and that was SO uncomfortable! There are numbing creams to lessen this, but I had the chafing issue for maybe a month or two. If I wear tight underwear I can see the growth a tiny bit, but the area still looks pretty flat.

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Can you give more info on what happens to my downstairs bits on T?

  • Your period will stop, your clitoris will get a bit bigger, and your vaginal walls will get a bit thinner and things may be drier down there.
  • Menstruation stops within in 2-6 months on an average testosterone dose and then it’s gone as long as you stay on T
  • Clitoral enlargement is one of the earliest changes people tend to notice, and it starts around 3-6 months on an average dose of T, and continues to grow for 1-2 years
  • But it all depends on the individual, as some people experience some changes faster than others regardless of their testosterone levels

“Bottom growth? Huh?”

People sometimes say “bottom growth” as a euphemism for what doctors call “clitoromegaly” and what we’ll call “clitoral growth”. Trans folks may use “lower growth” or similar terms because they may not want to refer to their genitals with certain words because of dysphoria.

“What is the clitoris?”

The clitoris is the nerve center of the genital area for AFAB people. It’s an organ that exists for sexual pleasure, and it’s very sensitive. It’s located in front of your urethra and vagina. @whoneedssexed is a good resource if you want to learn more about sex or your body and how it works.

Some folks call it a “t-dick” or refer to it as their junk or their penis, and you can call it whatever makes you the most comfortable, but we’ll use the word clitoris here just for clarity.

“Wait, the clitoris grows? How much?”

Your clitoris will grow on testosterone! The average size it ends up seems to be around 1.2 inches give or take. Some folks have even ended up with a 3-inch length, but this is pretty rare!

I started testosterone on low-dose T and I still experienced clitoral growth within the first few months. Genital growth isn’t something you can opt out of if you take testosterone; again, if you take T, you can’t prevent your clitoris from growing because it’s one of the first changes you get. 

Clitoral growth from testosterone comes from the stimulation of the androgen receptors in your clitoris. 

It is possible that you will have a larger growth if you have a rather large clit already, but it isn’t guaranteed.

If you’re pre-T and already have a larger clitoris, then there’s a chance that you won’t experience as much growth because your androgen receptors have already maxed out, so there’s not as much room left for change so you’ll end up with an average size. 

There’s also the chance that you’ll end up a larger clitoral size than average if you start with a larger size and continue to have a normal growth, so you might not have more growth than usual but you’d still end up bigger. 

So basically pre-T clitoral size isn’t necessarily going to indicate what size you’ll end up on after testosterone.

“Does it hurt?”

Sometimes. You don’t usually feel pain from it growing or feel it grow, and it doesn’t grow long enough to affect your sitting. Once you get used to it, it doesn’t really feel like anything unusual. It became normal pretty quickly, and I only really notice the difference when I shower and during sex.

Some people do experience some pain from the new growth rubbing on their underwear when it first starts to happen, but wearing wearing tighter underwear (made of soft fabric, without seams) so that your body isn’t brushing against loose fabric and it’s more “contained”/held closer to your body can help. 

To prevent chafing, you can also use something body-safe on your glans as a protectant/barrier. Some people apply a little cocoa butter (the raw kind that you have to melt a little in your hands, not Palmer’s), coconut oil, or silicone lube so it doesn’t rub.

And not everyone experiences pain from chafing- I didn’t experience any pain or irritation from clitoral growth at all besides one incident when I went swimming after a month or two on T and the chlorine in the pool hurt a bit.

“Do I need to clean it?”

Yes, every time you shower you should carefully clean your clitoris gently with warm water, just like cis men are supposed to clean their penises if they’re uncircumsized. 

Pull back the foreskin/hood and make sure you rinse and (gently!) rub off any smegma around your glans and corona. And just to be clear, it’s only your external genitals you want to clean - your internal genital area is self-cleaning and will not appreciate water or (especially!) soap interfering with it. Soap isn’t necessary and can make hygiene problems worse by throwing off the PH balance in the area, but if you really want to, get something gentle and unperfumed.

“What does it look like?”

Right now, I don’t have many good non-sexual lower growth links to share because of Tumblr’s adult content purge.

There’s one Imgur post here showing lower growth standing and sitting, which only represents one person’s body but it’s a good non-sexual clitoris picture which sounds like an oxymoron but isn’t.

You can see some bottom growth pictures on Reddit’s FtMPorn forum too, which is explicitly trans-centric. But most of those pictures are sexual pictures, so you will see what lower growth looks like, but they have sexual captions and sometimes the person in the picture is wet/aroused and occasionally a toy/penis penetration is involved so you get a little more than what you’re looking for on that forum and you really need to be prepared to See Some Things.

There’s another Reddit group here but it isn’t a group moderated by and for transgender people, it’s mostly targeted towards cis women who want clitoral growth, so the mod’s intentions might be a little more kink/fetish-y than education for the trans population. But it does have pictures.

This is someone’s drawing reference guide on clitoral growth changes, for any artists out there/folks who don’t want to see actual genitals.

You can see pics of people’s before/after pics of clitoral growth then metoidioplasty surgery on the TransBucket website as well, but you won’t look like this unless you get surgery- some people see meta results and assume that just testosterone will give them testicles which isn’t the case.

“Does it affect peeing?”

No, clitoris growth does not affect how you use the bathroom. Your clitoris grows larger, but you pee through your urethra- not your clitoris. 

Your urethra  stays the same unless you get surgery to have a urethral lengthening as part of lower/bottom surgery

You will still need a device to stand to pee if you want to use the urinals in the men’s bathroom

“Can I get my clitoris pierced?”

You can get a piercing in your clitoral hood/”foreskin” if you want to. You can see some of those pics here (tw for nsfw): 1, 2, 3, 4

Avoid one of the well-known piercers, Elayne Angel, the ex-wife of Buck Angel, since she’s transphobic.

Getting a genital piercing pre-T is also possible, so you don’t need to wait for clitoral growth if you don’t want to.

“Do you have any info on pumping?”

Some people believe that pumping can cause small increases in clitoral size over time, but other people say that the effect is temporary and limited to a short time after pumping.

Pumping information:

Shopping for a pump:

“Why DHT if I’m already on T?”

DHT is short for dihydrotestosterone, and it can cause growth in the clitoris after you’ve been on testosterone for 2 years and gotten all the growth you’ll get without intervention. 

While the clitoris does grow on testosterone, it doesn’t always reach the maximum size possible for it because the androgen receptors aren’t filled. 

DHT can sometimes add a few centimeters or even an inch of growth, which is really a significant difference with a surgery like meta where every centimeter matters.

People getting a meta are sometimes recommended to take DHT for 3 months before the operation to maximize lower growth, but there’s currently no easy legal way to access DHT in the USA. 

It used to be available online through the All Saint’s Clinic and other vendors, and some folks have gotten it locally through compounding pharmacies.

“Will my clitoris go back to its original size if I stop testosterone?”

No. If you stop testosterone, your clitoris will keep around the same growth it had reached on T, and shouldn’t increase or decrease much in size.

I have heard anecdotally from a few people who took my informal survey that stopping testosterone changed their clitoral size a little bit, so it’s possible that topical estrogen may impact size a small amount too.

Here are their responses on this question:

  • I did not lose or gain length after stopping testosterone: 18 people
  • I lost less than .5 cm in length after stopping testosterone: 8 people
  • I lost 1 cm in length after stopping testosterone: 3 people
  • I gained less than 1 cm after stopping testosterone: 1 person

As you can see, the majority (60%) said they didn’t experience any changes in clitoral size after stopping testosterone, but of course this is a hella small sample size and an informal survey and you’d still be on T so the situation isn’t quite the same, so take that with a grain of salt.

A de-transitioned person who stopped T told me that in their experience, their clitoris didn’t get as hard/erect in the same way as it did when they were on T so it doesn’t look as large as it did before, so a few people I’ve heard of take Cialis or a similar erectile dysfunction medication when they want to have sex if that difference bothers them.

“Wait, I can take erectile dysfunction medications?”

You need to talk to your doctor about it, but yes, you can. 

When you have a certain amount of clitoral growth, you can have erections. These erections aren’t typically noticeable if you’re wearing pants, and honestly you usually can’t even tell if someone is wearing underpants. 

But when you get to be familiar with your own body, you’ll be able to tell the difference between when it’s “hard” and sticking out a little versus “soft” and not as prominent. I can tell the difference on my own body and I can see the difference on my partner (who is also on testosterone).

Erectile dysfunction medication typically won’t make your clitoris any longer, but it will make it a little firmer.

Most folks on T don’t do this because it isn’t necessary, but it’s more common for people who stopped T (as mentioned above) and for post-metoidioplasty folks who have been advised to try it earlier on post-op to prevent retraction, or who want to maximize their “firmness” for sex to make penetration easier.

Some erectile dysfunction medication can interact with HIV medications, so if you’re HIV-positive make sure you talk to your doctor about possible mediation interactions.

Erectile dysfunction medication can also affect your blood pressure, so again, if you have high blood pressure or low blood pressure make sure you talk to your doctor about the best way to make sure you’re healthy while taking the medication. (In my EMT training, we are instructed not to assist with administering nitroglycerin for chest pain if someone has taken erectile dysfunction medication).

I know ordering the meds online can seem tempting, but like the Mayo Clinic website says, “Check to see if an online pharmacy is legitimate. Never order medications from an online pharmacy if there’s no way to contact the pharmacy by phone, if prices seem too good to be true or if you’re told no prescription is necessary. Some illegal businesses sell counterfeit versions of legitimate medications, which can be ineffective or dangerous. In the U.S., the National Association of Boards of Pharmacy can tell you whether an online pharmacy is licensed and in good standing.”

Do not order any medication that does not require a prescription from a doctor- this is illegal and the medication is probably fake or dangerous. Similarly, herbs and “natural” ED treatments are a scam and also possibly dangerous, and they will not work or be effective at all. 

If you have any health issues or disabilities at all, make sure you’re talking with your doctor about the safety of erectile dysfunction medication given your particular conditions.

“What’s vaginal atrophy?”

T can cause atrophy of the vagina and and uterus, and vaginal atrophy is symptomized as irritation, itchiness, dryness, and bleeding when penetrated.

It sounds scary, but it isn’t! Vaginal atrophy is treatable if you go to your doctor and get a topical estrogen cream or pill for the area. 

From the Mayo Clinic: Vaginal estrogen therapy comes in several forms. Because they all seem to work equally well, you and your doctor can decide which one is best for you.

  • Vaginal estrogen cream. You insert this cream directly into your vagina with an applicator, usually at bedtime. Your doctor will let you know how much cream to use and how often to insert it. Typically people use it daily for one to three weeks and then one to three times a week thereafter. Although creams may offer faster relief than do other forms of vaginal estrogen, they can be messier.
  • Vaginal estrogen ring. You or your doctor inserts a soft, flexible ring into the upper part of the vagina. The ring releases a consistent dose of estrogen while in place and needs to be replaced about every three months.
  • Vaginal estrogen tablet. You use a disposable applicator to place a vaginal estrogen tablet in your vagina. Your doctor will let you know how often to insert the tablet. You might, for instance, use it daily for the first two weeks and then twice a week thereafter.

I also have talked to a trans guy who took topical estrogen and still continued to experience more clitoral growth, so if you start topical estrogen while you’re still experiencing clitoral growth (which can often continue for 2 years), likely it won’t matter in your ultimate size.

I was briefly on topical estrogen for atrophy myself (more info on that is here), and it did not impact my clitoral size, and I also continued to take testosterone during that period and did not “detransition”.

Right now, there haven’t been any studies on how topical estrogen impacts clitoral growth in transgender people, but I would personally hypothesize that it wouldn’t prevent growth.

Using extra lube during sex can help when you have mild atrophy, so don’t let lube slip your mind! Check out All About Lube for more info on how to choose one.

“Do I still need to go to the gynecologist? When should I start seeing one?”

Yes, when on T you still need to get gynecologist appointments if you still have your uterus, ovaries, and cervix.

The New York Times article “When to Start With a Gynecologist?” says:

“A screening visit concerning reproductive preventive health care is recommended between the ages of 13 and 15, but the appointment doesn’t necessarily have to be with a gynecologist. Many pediatricians and family physicians are comfortable with this, so whom a teenager should see will vary depending on the circumstances.

A first gynecologist visit should happen at the age of 21 for cervical cancer screening, however, anyone who is younger than 21 and is sexually active should be seeing a provider who is comfortable with gynecologic care for annual chlamydia screening.

Other reasons to see an OB/GYN before the age of 21 include irregular periods, heavy periods (soaking onto clothes is a good proxy for being heavy), or period pain that is interfering with daily activities despite the use of over the counter pain medications, such as acetaminophen or ibuprofen.”

We have a post on gynecologist appointments here!

“Will I need a hysterectomy?”

No, it used to be recommended that everyone on testosterone get a hysterectomy but now it turns out that hysterectomies aren’t automatically medically necessary for everyone on T.

There are possible but as of yet unproven links between cervical and ovarian cancer and testosterone treatment, but no, you don’t need one just because you’re on T. 

“What does this mean for lower surgery?”

Metoidioplasty is the only type of lower surgery that relies on clitoral growth because phalloplasty isn’t influenced by clitoral size.

Our Bottom surgery (genital surgery) page has more info on this, so I’ll copy the metoidioplasty-related links below:

There are many other questions on the Bottom surgery (genital surgery) page so the links above are just a sample of questions you might be interested in!

“How will this affect my sex life?”

You can still masturbate and have all kinds of sex while on T, and you can still orgasm. Some people say that they orgasm quicker after being on T, some say it takes longer- but I’ve never heard of someone losing the ability. You may have to relearn your body and technique now that your clitoris is bigger, but hey- it’s more of a good thing!

However, your vagina may not self-lubricate as much anymore so you might want to use more lubricant for anything that involves vaginal penetration.

You may also be able to shallowly penetrate a partner a little bit with your clitoris, but this is typically difficult for folks unless they gained a lot of growth. But it is possible for some people, and using prosthetics that attach to the clitoris like the Hot Rod can be an aid for people as well.

More info:

T and your Genitals: A summary is a good place for more info on genital changes.

If you want to see the range of clitoral sizes possible, take the anonymous clitoral size survey and you can see everyone else’s responses at the end including the responses from people on T. You can take the survey with or without being on T.

Fun fact: it turns out I can see what Google searches brought people to this page:

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Anonymous asked:

Nsfw question about clitoral growth:

I've seen some pictures of people after clitoral growth where the clitoris protudes quite far outside of the labia and is always visible. I was wondering if it would be super sensitive/irritated from being outside the labia all the time and touching the fabric of your clothes all the time? It's a worry that I have regarding going on T. Tha k you in advance for any advice.

Lee says:

I just updated that post for ya! 

I’ll reblog it in a sec, and here’s how you can find it otherwise:

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reubsworld

Found this thread on twitter and thought it was a great visual guide!

The Twitter post:

my much awaited t-dick tutorial is finally here! ✨ this tutorial depicts my own personal approach and is by no means The Law, i highly encourage artists who are new to drawing t-dicks to start out by referencing the bodies of real transmasc people through pictures or video pic.twitter.com/msU15jrzuf
— Mr. Bottom (@sweatbots) February 1, 2020
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Anonymous asked:

hey!!! Just wanted to let y’all know that there’s a reddit thread showing bottom growth progression of ppl on T! it’s r/Clit_growth_progress (there’s not much atm but it’s still new and helpful if u don’t want to search through porn n stuff)

Lee says:

That sounds like it might become a really helpful resource, thank you!

However, I’d be careful with submitting your own pics there- it’s not entirely clear that it is a group moderated by and for transgender people, so the mod’s intentions might be a little more fetish-y than educational. But I don’t really know what’s happening there yet, so take that with a grain of salt.

You can see some bottom growth pictures on Reddit’s FtMPorn forum too, which is explicitly trans-centric. But most of those pictures are sexual pictures, so you will see what lower growth looks like, but they have sexual captions and sometimes the person in the picture is wet/aroused and occasionally a toy/penis penetration is involved so you get a little more than what you’re looking for on that forum and you really need to be prepared to See Some Things. 

So I’d be nice to have a desexualized alternative image gallery of lower growth pics to direct folks to (if they ask to see that) especially considering some lucky teens are starting T as minors and need to see and understand what’ll happen to their bodies but don’t necessarily want to see “mature” content either.

There’s one Imgur post here showing lower growth from the front. There used to be a bunch of posts on Tumblr I could link to, but the NSFW ban deleted all of those.

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Anonymous asked:

Hey, I'm an afab enby, and I'd like to make my voice a little more neutral/masc. I've heard that even if you go off T you voice still stays lower, is it a realistic plan to say I want to go on T for awhile, but not stay on it forever? I don't want many of the other physical changes T causes.

Lee says:

It’s possible to go on T until your voice has deepened to your satisfaction, and then stop if you stop T your voice should stay the same. But you will get other changes during that time, and some of those changes are also permanent.

The voice starts getting deeper around 6-12 months, and changes usually continue for around 1-2 years. So you’d possibly be on T for a year or two, depending on how deep you want your voice to go and the rate of changes you’re getting.

If you stop testosterone, menstruation will resume, your body fat will re-distribute to how it was, your muscles will slowly go back to how they were, your skin will get less oily, and you’ll have less acne after an adjustment period, and the vaginal atrophy will reverse which means your vaginal walls will get a bit thicker because of the estrogen becoming dominant in your body again and you will produce more natural lubrication during sex.

But many changes will remain- your voice will stay the same, any facial or body hair that has grown will remain, and continue to grow in if you shave it, but it won’t increase. If you experienced hair loss on your head/scalp, the hair won’t regrow, but the hair loss will be halted so you won’t lose any more hair. Your clitoral growth will stay around the same size as well.

So your voice will stay deep, which is what you want. But you will still grow facial and body hair, which you seem to not want.

For temporary hair removal, you have options like shaving (easiest option), waxing (painful but lasts slightly longer than shaving), and depilatory creams like Nair (can bother sensitive skin).

For more permanent options, you have electrolysis and laser hair removal. Both are expensive, and probably not covered under insurance if you’re doing it for cosmetic reasons. But if being really hairy is causing you severe dysphoria, it might be worth spending some of your savings on it.

Electrolysis is slightly more permanent than laser hair removal, but it also takes WAY longer to do for an area as big as your chest and back and stomach and face, and everywhere else you grew more body hair (arms, legs, etc), so I’d recommend looking into laser hair removal.

The Patient’s Guide to Pre-Operative Hair Removal for Phalloplasty isn’t exactly talking about what you’re looking to do, but it does give you a good overview of the factors involved in permanent hair removal so you can take the info and extrapolate it to your situation. I’m getting the hair removed from my thigh to prepare for phallo, and I found this guide pretty helpful.

You can get numbing cream prescribed by your doctor to make the hair removal less painful. Some people won’t need it, but it’s always good to get the prescription and not use it instead of not having the option at all. But you can’t put on the numbing cream during the electrolysis/laser session if you change your mind- it needs to be applied at least 1 hour before. You can see a picture of the numbing cream I got for my electrolysis sessions here.

Similarly, you can find a lot of stuff on laser hair removal for trans women who have body and facial hair, and for cis women too, and those things may not apply to you in terms of the gendered language used but it’s still the same procedure regardless of what gender you identify as or why you’re doing it.

So the facial and body hair can be removed if you go on T, but it will cost you money so start saving now.

The clitoral growth caused by testosterone can’t be reversed without surgery, and there’s a chance that cutting off parts of the clitoris to make it smaller can reduce sensation, so while it might be technically possible to do, I’ve never heard of anyone getting that kind of surgery. So that change is more or less permanent.

If you think that going on T would be worth the other changes that you don’t want but will get if it means getting a deeper voice, that’s valid and your choice.

But you could try voice training to lower your voice first, which involves practicing speaking in a lower voice. You can start voice training by yourself, and if that isn’t working there are professionals, usually speech-language pathologists, who do voice training and you could see one of them. Some hospitals that have trans programs offer free group vocal training sessions.

There is also a surgery I’ve heard of to lower your voice, but I haven’t actually heard of anyone actually getting the surgery yet besides this blogger who said it was a Type III Medialization Laryngoplasty Thyroplasty Voice Lowering. So I don’t know much about the risk of the procedure and what the typical outcomes are, like by how much it can be expected to lower your voice.

However, the John Hopkins Center for Transgender Health is planning on starting transmasculine voice surgery with Dr. Simon Best on a more regular schedule in the next year, so if that’s something you’re interested in I’d contact that team!

More info on testosterone is in our Testosterone FAQ

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Anonymous asked:

I know it's hard but do you think it's possible to transition to masc (physically with T and surgery) and live my life without my family knowing even when I see them a lot?

Lee says:

I don’t want to say it’s impossible, but I honestly have my doubts about whether you could do that for the rest of your life. 

The testosterone FAQ has a few links about the timeline of when you should expect changes on T. It’s different for different people, depending on your genetics and body and your dose of T.

But eventually, changes happen. That’s what you’re hoping to get from taking testosterone for years- a physical change. And some changes you can hide, and some you can’t cover up as easily:

  • Your skin will get oiler and you’ll get more acne for a bit.
  • If you’re older, you might get male pattern baldness/scalp hair loss.
  • You’ll get facial hair growth, and more body hair.
  • You’ll also have increased muscle mass/strength, and it’ll be easier to build muscles.
  • Your body fat will redistribute to more masculine areas, so your facial shape might change a bit, and fat might collect at your stomach instead of hips for example.
  • Your period will stop, your clitoris will get a bit bigger, and your vaginal walls will get a bit thinner and things may be drier down there.
  • Your breast tissue may shrink a bit and get softer but it usually doesn’t change by a full cup size.
  • Your voice will deepen, and you may or may not get a bit of an Adam’s apple.

So if you grow facial hair from T, you can shave. When your voice deepens you can try vocal training to try and speak in the upper part of your range, and so on.

In a past answer to a similar question, our former mod Jay said: “I started at my full dose of 80 mg/week (intramuscular) and my voice was noticeably different within a month. I had family members who didn’t know I was trans at all, and they guessed correctly after 3-6 months on T. The reason I think is less the voice alone, or the face alone, or any other single factor and more the fact that the voice, face, facial and body hair growth patterns, and body shape (a key factor that lots of people overlook) all change together in a recognizable pattern.”

As a counter experience to that, I’m nonbinary and started on a low-dose of T. Jay was on 80 mg, and I was on 12.5 mg. I didn’t have any noticeable changes for months. 

If you want a standard dose of T, and you want more changes at a faster rate, then you’re going to have less time before someone notices said changes. And eventually, if you’re on T for enough years, regardless of the dose, people are going to look at you and think “masculine” and that’s something your family will pick up on because it’ll be the gendered association in their subconcious too.

If you got top surgery, you could wear breast forms when you see your family. You’d need to get ones with a similar size and shape as your pre-surgery chest, and wear them at all times, whether it’s at the beach, at home, at a restaurant, etc. which would mean getting bras and swimsuit tops that accommodate breast forms.

But I think that at a certain point, your family would realize something is happening. I don’t know how long you can hide it- maybe months, maybe years. But not forever. Like Jay said, it’s the collection of changes, like not just if your voice got notably deeper, or if your face looks different from the fat redistribution, or your hairline changing, but everything all combined.

Here are a few Tumblr bloggers that have posted before/after pics of their T changes:

One really frustrating thing about the transmasc community is once a trans person has finished their transition, they sometimes just disappear into cis-male passing community, and don’t necessarily continue to interact in trans spaces. So it can be harder to see from and hear from (often stealth) post-transition transmasc people. So I don’t know how many post-transition folks you’ve interacted with, but you’ll see what I mean when I say that people will be able to tell that someone looks and sounds different after HRT and surgery.

However, I’m not saying that if you get HRT and surgery it’ll be impossible to ever pass as female again no matter what you do. That’s the same thing as saying AMAB trans people have no chance of passing, which definitely isn’t true. I do think that with enough effort, you could pass as a woman. But I do think that even if you pass as a woman to strangers at the grocery store, for example, your family would still notice that something has changed about you. I’m not saying you can’t pass as female, I’m saying people who knew you very well before will know that you aren’t the same as you were before. 

Some women have deeper voices, for example, so if your overall presentation is female people then strangers may still assume you’re a girl despite your vocal changes. But your goal isn’t “present like a woman to my family,” it’s “make my family think I haven’t gotten any changes,” and that’s a much harder goal because they will notice that your voice is deeper and they’ll wonder about it. And then that change that they’re wondering about will make them start paying more attention to you and they’ll start noticing other things too.

But yes, it’s possible to do. All this isn’t to say you won’t be able to pull it off- but you should know there’s a high chance that they’ll realize, and you need to be prepared for what that might mean. Something being theoretically possible it isn’t a guarantee that it’ll happen.

I think you should go into this expecting them to realize at some point, so you need to decide how to handle this with that in mind. If you think your family would reject you and stop interacting with you if you transition with HRT and surgery, then you should make this choice acknowledging that you may lose your blood family as a result.

You have to come to terms with the possibility that they’ll realize you’re transitioning instead of deluding yourself into believing that they won’t notice, which means you haven’t accepted the possible consequences of your actions.

I’d see the Mental health page’s Getting a therapist and being in therapy post. You should have support systems in place to help you decide what you want to do, and to help you cope with whatever may happen as a result of your transition.

Good luck!

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