Transgender Teen Survival Guide

The TTSG mods say:

Hi anon! Unfortunately, your ask has been sitting in our inbox for awhile now and none of the mods are quite sure how to answer it or don’t have enough time to give your ask the answer it deserves.

However, we really like your question, so we’re going to hand this over to the followers and hope that one of them can help you. You can also check out our Other trans resource blogs page and re-ask your question to someone else, as different blogs have different specialties.

We’re sorry we couldn’t be of more help, but we have over a three thousand asks in our inbox, and we have to clear it out for a fresh start in the new year. We hope a follower or another blog can provide more assistance.

Kii says:

It’s up to you whether you define “not attracted to men” as “not attracted to people who identify wholly as men” or “not attracted to anyone who identify as men, including people who partially/sometimes identify as men”, we can’t decide that for you.

Either way, you should be honest with potential partners about your attraction (or lack thereof).

The TTSG mods say:

Hi anon! Unfortunately, your ask has been sitting in our inbox for awhile now and none of the mods are quite sure how to answer it or don’t have enough time to give your ask the answer it deserves.

However, we really like your question, so we’re going to hand this over to the followers and hope that one of them can help you. You can also check out our Other trans resource blogs page and re-ask your question to someone else, as different blogs have different specialties.

We’re sorry we couldn’t be of more help, but we have over a three thousand asks in our inbox, and we have to clear it out for a fresh start in the new year. We hope a follower or another blog can provide more assistance.

The TTSG mods say:

Hi anon! Unfortunately, your ask has been sitting in our inbox for awhile now and none of the mods are quite sure how to answer it or don’t have enough time to give your ask the answer it deserves.

However, we really like your question, so we’re going to hand this over to the followers and hope that one of them can help you. You can also check out our Other trans resource blogs page and re-ask your question to someone else, as different blogs have different specialties.

We’re sorry we couldn’t be of more help, but we have over a three thousand asks in our inbox, and we have to clear it out for a fresh start in the new year. We hope a follower or another blog can provide more assistance.

Lee says:

Trans people have sexual orientations just like anyone else. So a trans woman may be a lesbian and attracted to other women, or she may be straight and attracted to men. Or she may be bi, or pan, or anything else.

Trans women often aren’t attracted to people who objectify and fetishize them, but if the man sees her as woman and treats her respectfully and the trans woman in question happens to be sexually attracted to men and likes that particular man, then yeah, maybe.

Trans women are women, so trans women may be attracted to straight cis men just like some cis women are. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that a trans woman who likes men is attracted to all the men out there- it’s normal to find some guys attractive but not click with other men. 

Kii says:

It’s fairly common for attraction to change over time, whether you’re trans or not. Lots of peoples’ attraction just develops differently the more they think about it. And no, you don’t have to use any labels you don’t want to.

Kai says:

Honestly, I know some trans people who are only comfortable dating other trans people (not cis people) because a lot of cis people are transphobic / don’t understand experiences, etc. but it’s more of an emotional connection kind of thing, rather than a physical attraction thing since you can’t tell by looking at someone if they’re cis or trans.

Kii says:

I’m nonbinary and have honestly never heard a nonbinary person say this. Yes, you can’t tell someone’s gender by looking at them, but you can find someone aesthetically/visually attractive without being attracted to them and want to date them. I find a lot of people aesthetically attractive, including some close friends of mine, and it doesn’t mean I want to date them. I just think that they are pretty/handsome/etc. I’ve also had several women who identify as lesbians be attracted to me and then change their mind when they found out I didn’t ID as a woman, and I’m not offended by that in the slightest.

Ren says:

Oh gosh, I hadn’t even considered this being an autistic thing, but you might be right… all the trans people I know who experience it are also autistic (although, to be fair, most of the people I know and interact with are both autistic and trans, LOL).

So, uh, I can at least tell you that you’re not alone in this! I don’t know if it’s social mirroring or a thing that happens to some nonbinary folks or a mix of both (I’m betting it’s a mix of both), but it definitely happens.

Either way, I don’t think it’s something to worry about - it’s a pretty normal thing, because I hear it a LOT, and I don’t think it’s harmful in any way!

Anyone else experience this and want to talk about it?

Lee says:

I’m also Autistic and non-binary and I don’t experience this, so it defs isn’t universal.

Kai says:

I won’t really comment on male-aligned people wanting to identify as lesbian, seeing as I do not identify myself, nor have I ever identified myself as lesbian. However, I am an afab transmasc person who considers himself gay when feeling attraction to other male-aligned people, so yes it is absolutely okay for you to say you’re gay when you find male-aligned people attractive. If gay men are feeling uncomfortable because of that, then maybe the problem might be with them not recognizing that you are male-aligned rather than with you.

Lee says:

I have heard that some people feel like their sexual orientation had changed, because before coming out when they saw people of the same gender they found attractive it would make them too dysphoric to recognize or feel any romantic or sexual interest. 

After coming out or taking T they had less dysphoria, and were able to explore and realize their attraction to other people of the same gender because they were more comfortable with themselves, so they didn’t get stuck on the “I wish I was you” part and could move forward to “hey, you’re cute and I’m also cute”. 

I also think that some people just have more fluid sexual orientations than others do, so who they’re attracted to may fluctuate over time, regardless of coming out or T, although that may influence some people’s feelings. 

So yeah, I don’t think coming out can really change your sexual orientation from not-liking some genders to liking them out of the blue as far as I’m aware, it’s sort of a lowkey preexisting thing. But you’re not alone in this experience!

Charlie says:

yes, sexuality can be fluid for some. (I italicize that because that isn’t how everyone feels and it can be invalidating to tell someone that about their own sexuality when you don’t know if they feel that way.)  Don’t worry, you’re definitely not faking your sexuality, whatever it is!! It’s yours and yours alone and finding out new things about yourself is in no means faking.  If anything, you’re staying true to yourself!

This is a phenomenon that happens from time to time in trans individuals, where sometimes we have too much dysphoria to clearly see who we’re attracted to or to contemplate a relationship with an individual of a certain gender.  You’re wonderful and okay.

Kii says:

That depends. Do you mean you like feminine people, or women? There is nothing wrong with saying you like women, if you want to include masc women, femme women, and ALSO trans women. There is also nothing wrong with saying you like feminine people, if you want to include boys, girls, and nonbinary people who present femininely. I am personally attracted to feminine people, but that includes feminine boys (cis and trans) and nonbinary people as well as feminine women (cis and trans).

Ari says:

Yes! There’s sensual attraction, which is wanting physical contact with someone, but not necessarily sex. And alterous attraction is a sort of in between platonic and romantic attraction. Either of these might fit.

Kii says:

Yes, it is! Though, that seems like that’s more of an attraction to a certain “look” than gender. Boys, girls, and nb people can all be androgynous.

Jay says:

That makes you gay pal! Your attraction is based on who you identify yourself as, and so if you ID as a girl and like girl’s you’re gay.