i get on one knee and pull out a tiny wooden box… i open it and this is what is inside.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

i marry your dumb ass, what u think

lol i love that any attempts to research techniques for improving my adhd-affected skills almost exclusively produce results teaching the ppl in our lives how to ~manage~ us 

Them: Make sure to keep your child to a routine! Make a chart showing what they need to do in the morning and before bed! Schedule time for homework, chores, and playtime at the same times every day. :))

Me: Ah yes let me just rewind 20 years and oh wait my parents both have ADHD too well shucks. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I’m literally #galaxybraining whenever Jewish texts accuse anything of being an idol I’m like! Oh shit 📝👀🔍

Callout Post For G-d: making an idol of G-d when he IS G-d? 🤔 Seems a bit polytheistic to me

G-d: be fruitful and multiply

G-d: but don’t make anything in my image

humans: uh….we’re in your image so our babies will be in your image too????

G-d (probably): um uh, um……..hey guess what new rule! Don’t eat from this tree

19 March 2018 - What’s a Monday?

//Please don’t delete the caption//

that’s how I wanna go

Okay but if you read the article he wasn’t stabbed

he literally walked into the blade thinking it was a toy and not that it was a replica actual sword

HE LITERALLY WALKED INTO MY SWORD OFFICER

HE WALKED INTO MY SWORD TEN TIMES

HE HAD IT COMING

HE HAD IT COMING

HE ONLY HAD HIMSELF TO BLAME

Zelda to Chicago in 0.2 seconds

those “monkey brain/human brain” posts except the monkey brain is presented as the rational one

monkey brain: extra body hair provides warmth and producing it but then cutting it off wastes valuable nutrients

human brain: hehe leg smooth

The reason the culture of ‘depression meme humour’ got big was because it was a rebellious backlash against a dominant social attitude that You Just Weren’t Trying Hard Enough which deliberately swept mental health issues under the rug. Turning ‘positivity’ into the cool new meme is a noble idea, but in practice, unless it’s done with care and understanding instead of just a desire to perform what people in your social circles seem to want to see, all it’s doing is recreating a culture of artificial cheerfulness, where deviation is punishable by ostracization. And that’s not a healthy or ‘positive’ environment for anyone. 

I’m usually a big proponent of positive bandwagons - even if people only join them because they see it’s popular, they’re still getting exposure to a thing they might not have otherwise - but if the only reason you’re jumping on ‘positivity’ is so you can make snarky comments about all those losers still wallowing in last year’s meme, rather than out of genuine care and concern for people’s well-being, then there’s nothing at all positive about what you’re doing.

God, thank you… so much for this post.

We really need to start thinking about the intention and motivation behind other people’s posts when we respond to them. No, it’s not good to create a culture of normalizing suicidal ideation and rewarding people for refusing to take steps to help themselves or work on how they treat others (“not everyone can be neurotypical Karen” “I literally just said to be nice to people Anthony”). But sometimes you just gotta let a vent post be a fuckin vent post. Sometimes scolding or even well-intentioned positivity only has the effect of silencing someone who really, really needs an outlet to talk about how they’re hurting.

^^^^ And personally, if I’m worried about someone I know or follow because I think they’re more than vent posts, or they don’t have access to help, or I think they’re sinking too far into it, I don’t snarkily call them out on their post, I message them privately to let them know that they’re supported.

Espousing ‘positive mental attitudes’ to someone about a negative joke or comment they made, in public? That doesn’t say, ‘Hey, I’m worried about you,’ that says, ‘I think you’re coping wrong even though I have no idea who you are or what your helps your mental health, and I want to get brownie points for publicly giving you a dressing-down rather than actually care about your mental health.’

I get that a lot of the people doing this have the best of intentions, but learning about mental health support through memes isn’t doesn’t actually mean you know how to handle a sensitive subject, especially when you don’t understand the whys and hows that drive them (the memes, but also, like, everything).

No one knows everything about someone else’s mental health. Two people with the exact same trauma won’t respond to the same coping mechanisms the same way, and what’s horrifically triggering to one of them can be a coping lifeline to the other. This whole discourse boils down to two things: one, strangers on the internet have decided that know what’s best for your mental health than you do; and two, and, I think, most crucial, that we as a whole have so little access to good information and support that we learn one thing and think that’s all the information we need to know, then build an entire opinion based on a single piece of information.

So many people discussing this care so much about the mental health of others that it hurts (barring the aforementioned ‘brownie points’ type that are so ubiquitous, and even then I think a great deal of them think they’re helping because they don’t know any other way to do so), but everyone has an opinion on what’s best without stopping to realize that what’s best is different for everyone, and so there’s no cure-all for such a deeply rooted issue. There’s so little nuance in these discussions that we talk past each other, because we’re all high on righteous belief that we don’t like considering that we’re wrong.

There’s a place for building a community where no one is forced to shy away from the most painful parts of their trauma and mental disorders/disabilities, because that’s helpful to people.

There’s a place for building a community that focuses on good and happy things and never lets anyone wallow in misery, because that’s helpful to people.

One-size-fits-all doesn’t even work with clothes; how is it supposed to work with mental health?

TL;DR: Basically what was said above, but longer and shittier

Them: What else is in with him?

Me: aLL OF MY LOVE

Queer “Have A Nice Day!” in 9 designs, on 50+ products on my Redbubble!

“the only reason you’d be against radfems is if you didn’t understand radical feminism or you’re an antifeminist”

or how about option 3: people are against radfems because they are feminists and understand that most of the beliefs radfems hold are against everything that feminism should be (such as, you know, equality for and improving the wellbeing of people of all gender identities, orientations, races, classes, occupations, and all other backgrounds through focusing on helping the most marginalized among us and not leaving out anyone who needs help)

Several additions to this very good post:

The end product of radfem ideas is TERF ideology. TERF ideas and the people who push them aren’t just some ‘way-out-there stripe of radical feminism’, they’re the logical end of radfem thought, rooted as it is in gender-essentialism (while constantly making empty noise about ‘smash gender!’) and an incredibly rigid, immutable stance on the nature of ‘womanhood’, one that consistently throws many women under the bus: cis women who do not espouse radfem ideas or don’t live our lives in accordance to radfem ideals are consistently referred to as ‘brainwashed’. with radfems infantilizing us and speaking over us with impunity. Trans women, by virtue of radical feminism’s incredibly narrow understanding of ‘womanhood’, are horrifically misgendered, used as targets for pent-up violence and positioned as ‘oppressors’. Nonbinary / genderqueer / agender people are also constantly misgendered and have their existence denied and invalidated on a dime. In terms of concrete ideology, a trans and nb-supportive radfem is a contradiction in terms.

The end product of radfem ideas is SWERF ideology and the weakening of consent culture. Tying in to the above infantilization and speaking over cis women who do not bow down to radfem ideas is the incredibly fucking dangerous idea that ‘women cannot consent to violence’ (with ‘violence’ having an entirely nebulous and vague definition, that ranges from consensual BDSM activities all the way to penis-in-vagina sex itself, in accordance to whatever strain of radical feminism is making the claim). This denial of consent if it is offered for acts anathema to radfems is a cornerstone of radfem theory and has been so since the 1970s, meaning that teenagers on Tumblr who jump in my mentions to go ‘YOU CANNOT CONSENT TO KINK!!!’ are beating a horse that’s been repeatedly killed and reanimated for the past fifty years. One of the most insidious ways in which it manifests, on top of exerting control over how women express themselves sexually and weakening the concept of consent itself (by placing arbitrary limits on when it does and doesn’t apply, even if all parties are informed and have full discernment), is by positing that no woman can freely consent to sex-work under patriarchy, thus all sex-workers are the subjects of coercion, abuse and oppression and must be saved even from their own selves. Even if it means that their line of work is criminalized and driven underground and their safety becomes all the more precarious as a result. One of the most salient comments I’ve ever seen on the subject, by the sex-worker and blogger stripperina:

The mere fact that SWERFs are not actively antagonizing workers in the garment industry, or the domestic labor industry, or the farming and food production industry, or even going after MALE sex workers to the degree that they speak over and attack female sex workers shows that their their actions aren’t about ending incidents of abuse, discrimination and sexual misconduct in the workforce, but about controlling women’s bodies, specifically women’s sexual agency (source)

Radfems have consistently proven themselves natural allies to social conservatives and even religious fundamentalists. From work in the 1980s together with conservative politicians in order to make certain that legislation inclusive of gender-identity wouldn’t make it to the books all the way to notable radfems such as Cathy Brennan, who have repeatedly outed vulnerable trans teens and even worked together with right-wing organizations such as the Pacific Justice Institute, in order to spread misinformation and doxx a teenager trans girl on suicide-watch. In my own country, financing and support to defeat a bill that would have decriminalized and regulated sex-work came not only from local Christian Orthodox elements, but also foreign, US-based Evangelical organizations and several foreign radfem activists who organized conferences over here, under the heading of ‘protect women’s rights.’ This nonsense can be seen clearly on Tumblr as well – a simple search through the notes of a popular anti-kink post authored by a radfem will reveal that about half the likes and reblogs usually come from other radfems, half from blogs with usernames along the lines of ‘tradcatholicnationalist’ or ‘jesus-is-my-savior’, with these bloggers openly identifying themselves as religious fundamentalists.

ok oh jesus gather round:

so my best friend friendlyfern made me a profile picture today and i posted it with a little innocent weeb comment

and uh well i forgot my grandma cares way too much about what’s going on in my life so a few hours later…

aND THEN I SAW THIS

mY GRANDMA HAS A WAIFU THIS IS WHAT U FUCKING WEEABOOS HAVE DONE TO THIS COUNTRY

your grandma has good taste

Don’t feel bad if you’re sensitive to negative feedback because apparently after one particular bad review Hans Christian Andersen was found just sobbing while lying face down in the dirt

YOU LEFT OUT THE BEST PART THOUGH! HE WAS CRYING FACE DOWN IN THE DIRT IN CHARLES DICKENSEN´S YARD!!

WHERE HE HAD BEEN STAYING FOR WEEKS, LONG OVERSTAYING HIS WELCOME, AND WAS ANNOYING THE FUCK OUT OF DICKENS

I had to unfollow a blog today because they said autism “wasn’t a disability” and referred to the considering of autism as a disability as a negative, damaging thing.

I am on board with autism being regarded as just a different neurotype–to me it isn’t a disease, an illness or even a disorder. It’s just a word that describes how my brain works and certain similarities I may have with other people who also possess that neurotype.

But, in a world created by, created for and dominated by allistics and the needs of allistics, with allistic expectations for my behaviour and social interactions, and allistic-favoured composition of the settings that surround me, autism is to me a disability. Autism combined with social anxiety means I mumble, which has made a few social situations difficult and stressful. The sensory processing disorder that comes with autism means I can’t bear it when people wear perfume. The prosopagnosia that comes with autism means I can’t remember faces and can’t match names to faces. The sensory processing disorder that comes with autism means I can’t process sound in a loud environment, meaning that I can’t follow conversations. The difficulty I have with spoken communication when stressed or tired, solely a factor of autism, has resulted in my being abused. I had to quit a retail job in part because of customers being unhappy with my facial expressions, expressions that don’t fit allistic norms. And so on, so on, so on. There are many things I cannot do, or cannot do easily, or can only do in certain circumstances or with certain supports, or cannot do in the ways expected of me, because of autism–and yet society unfairly and unquestioningly expects everything I listed above to not be any kind of difficulty. Society seldom even comprehends the difficulty in all of the above, never mind providing suitable and accessible supports in order that I can more easily interact with the world or be understood by it.

All of this is exactly the same as my experiences for my other main disability–chronic pain. Something else that also means there are many things I cannot do, or cannot do easily, or can only do in certain circumstances or with certain supports, or cannot do in the ways expected of me, despite society expecting me to navigate all its demands while unaffected by pain. Something else that is seldom comprehended by society, and something else that doesn’t result in my receiving suitable and accessible supports so I can more easily interact with the world.

The social disability model gives me a pretty clear map for regarding autism as a disability, because it is not accommodated by society in any significant way, and that lack of accommodation is what so often makes a wide variety of disabilities disabling. If my pain were fully accepted and accommodated by society, if I had free access to a variety of technological aids and human supports, it wouldn’t disable me anywhere near as much as it does–it might not even disable me at all. But I don’t have those things, and so it does. Autism isn’t any different.

If we lived in a world where providing for the needs that accompany my neurotype were as commonly accepted as the provision of clothing against freezing or burning (and clothing is an accessibility aid, for it lets us do many things we cannot do without it), then no, I wouldn’t consider it a disability.

I don’t live in that world.

Maybe you don’t consider autism having any relationship to disability, and that’s fine. But please, please don’t erase those of us who do consider autism a disability. Please don’t treat our considering autism a disability as a bad thing that should be corrected or stopped. I don’t regard autism as a disability from a place of negativity. I don’t want to be allistic; if I had the opportunity to become allistic, I wouldn’t take it. Autism shapes how I create and how I think; it is far too entangled in my creativity and identity for me to choose not to have the struggles that come with it. Yet I have needs that still go misunderstood and unaccommodated by wider society, and that is too close to my experiences with chronic pain for it not to be, to me, disability. That’s all it is.

The framework of disability is how I make sense of who I am as an autistic in a world that is set on trying to erase my struggles and provide me the least amount of recognition and support possible. It isn’t a negative thing any more than calling my chronic pain a disability is a negative thing. Disability is, in fact, an empowering term that gives me understanding, connection and community. Rejecting it won’t support me–it only does me damage.

If you want to separate yourself from that, by all means do so–for you.

Please don’t deny me that framework and identity, as someone who considers myself disabled in part because I am autistic.

I don’t live in that world.

That right there is what it all comes down to.

God, thank you. I just saw someone do the same thing on a FB group, and everyone’s nodding and agreeing, and I can just tell if I say what you said (though not as well-put as yours), I’ll set off a shitstorm. 

I don’t know if this helps beyond an expression of sympathy, but I quietly unfollowed the blog in question and made an unconnected post just to avoid the debate and arguments I don’t have spoons for. I too had this feeling that it would end badly if I replied directly. I didn’t even put this post in the #actuallyautistic tag from that fear; I am extremely relived to see the positive responses to this.

I don’t have words to describe just how relieved I am, honestly. Writing this post terrified me. It shouldn’t be an unsafe thing to say, but it very much felt as though it was.

It seems to me that “not a disability” is perhaps the progressive-feeling upshot of “not an illness/not a disease” to some, and perhaps that works for an individual’s relationship to autism and disability, but to push it as a community-wide belief is dangerous to me.

I can’t help but wonder if there is also a quiet ableism behind the disconnect with “disability” on a community level—that disability is still a bad word we should reject, that we are not disabled (unlike those other people). Something that throws our DD cousins, autistics with greater inability to fit into allistic society and otherwise-disabled autistics under the bus. If we argue that we autistics belong in general ND spaces, that we have experiences in common with other developmental disabilities in particular, then how can we discard the word disability on a community level without causing damage to others?

The more I think about this, the scarier it feels.

“I can’t help but wonder if there is also a quiet ableism behind the disconnect with “disability” on a community level—that disability is still a bad word we should reject, that we are not disabled (unlike those other people). Something that throws our DD cousins, autistics with greater inability to fit into allistic society and otherwise-disabled autistics under the bus. If we argue that we autistics belong in general ND spaces, that we have experiences in common with other developmental disabilities in particular, then how can we discard the word disability on a community level without causing damage to others? ”

Yes .

it happen . a lot . from autism People . with very big voices . almost all autism People . on internet and not . have some measure of this .

this is part of what the pixie calls . ASAN People , because of where such ideas most often come from .

it is so very like . what many “ normal ” homosexual People done ( and still do ) to noticeable queer and trans People .

it is DANGEROUS .

this hurt everybody .

this kills most fragile People in Community .

this destroy all possibles of ANYBODY having any safety .

evil comes first for the People nobody hears .

evil comes first for the People nobody hears .

Pixie is a hundred percent right and this is exactly why we should make sure she and every other unheard autistic are heard.

It’s respectability politics, pure and simple, and we have so, so many examples of exactly who gets hurt most from it that there’s no excuse anymore.

Developmental disabilities are called disabilities for a reason, and saying that someone who’s autistic isn’t disabled by living in a neurotypical world denies us the language we need to describe our experiences and fight for our right to live happily and healthily.

Disability isn’t a bad thing, and if you feel uncomfortable and disgusted by being under the same label as people who are nonverbal, or need full-time care, or wear diapers, or have meltdowns or stim in public, or any other thing that can’t be hidden away out of shame, then you need to stop immediately and think hard about why exactly you think anyone who does or experiences these things is worth less than you.

this is from a town in spain that in San fermines instead of bulls uses a giant ball and its so funny watching it on tumblr 

UNMUTE

Please oh please, UNMUTE

OH MY GOD I LAUGHED SO HARD I SLMOST BLACKED OUT