@transboypippin / transboypippin.tumblr.com
some customers: oh my god i’m so sorry i have to ask you a question i feel so foolish for not knowing this already please help me but i’m so sorry forgive me other customers: answer this question before i’ve even asked it or i’ll kill you where you stand
ratatouille went so hard and it didn’t even have to
this is a kid’s movie about a rat who wants to be a chef and i feel like i’ve just been flayed bald
Never forget this iconic speech
i’ve said this several times and i’m gonna say it again, RATATOUILLE is truly a masterpiece and one of the best movies of all time
Buddy, you wanna talk to me about ace inclusion, bear in mind that I’m old enough to remember when there were Very Serious Discussions being had about whether lesbians truly belong in the “gay community”. That’s my point of reference with respect to anti-inclusion rhetoric. So I know for a goddamn fact that your whole “the LGBT community is and always has been defined by the shared experience of homophobia” spiel is a lie, and I’m betting you do, too.
for those who are feeling regret today: you did the best you could at the time - please try your best to not hold yourself to the high standard of having foresight for every situation; understand your regrets are not there to hold you back, they’re lessons you’ve learned to help you move forward
john mulaney is a horrible person. wake up guys. stop reblogging posts about him. stop supporting him. he is a despicable person. seriously. he SAW what they were doing to tyler and he did nothing. tell me, how is he better than a nazi?
well you see he was over there on the bench
anxiety brain: IM GOING TO DIE ALONE AND UNCARED FOR
the other side of my brain which is wearing a hawaiian shirt: [cracks another sparkling water] yeah probably
Not to be dramatic but John Mulaney saying “every time I walk down the street, I need everyone, all the time, to like me so much–its exhausting” is quite literally my biography and I’m shocked he knows so much about me
the most unstoppable force of nature is a cat that’s decided it wants to cuddle with you
the most immovable object of nature is a cat that’s decided it wants to Sit. Right. Here.
I’ve had several friends send me a casting notice for a trans masculine role which is great and I love my friends a lot and I’m definitely gonna submit.
But let me tell you that I’m also nervous over the fact that the casting notice is pretty clear in stating that they are not against casting a cis female in this role.
I would love to play the role cause it’s obvious a good, meaty acting piece and those are SUPER hard to come by. I won’t be upset if I don’t get cast. But you goddamn know that if they cast a cis female in the role that I WILL STIR UP DRAMA IN THE TORONTO THEATRE SCENE.
whaf if we walked around with little animals on our shoulders all the time. what if thats just how it was
- philip pullman, mere moments before writing the golden compass
try do at least one thing today, and then reward yourself - you did a great job, you did that one thing, look at you go accomplishing the thing - treat yourself well for managing to do something today, especially if it was difficult for you to do
I still think that my favorite urban legend/folklore fact is that there are certain areas in New Orleans where you cannot get a taxi late at night not because it isn’t safe, but because taxi companies have had recurring problems of picking up ghosts in those areas who are not aware that they are dead and disappearing from the cab before reaching the destination and therefore stiffing the driver on the fare causing a loss for the company.
An occupational hazard of cab driving I had not previously considered
People don’t often look back on the early 1900’s for advice, but what if we could actually learn something from the Lost Generation? The New York Public Library has digitized 100 “how to do it” cards found in cigarette boxes over 100 years ago, and the tips they give are so practical that millennials reading this might want to take notes.
Back in the day, cigarette cards were popular collectibles included in every pack, and displayed photos of celebrities, advertisements, and more. Gallaher cigarettes, a UK-founded tobacco company that was once the largest in the world, decided to print a series of helpful how-to’s on their cards, which ranged from mundane tasks (boiling potatoes) to unlikely scenarios (stopping a runaway horse). Most of them are insanely clever, though, like how to make a fire extinguisher at home. Who even knew you could do that?
The entire set of life hacks is now part of the NYPL’s George Arents Collection. Check out some of the cleverest ones we could find below. You never know when you’ll have to clean real lace!
Plunging cut stems in hot water is still a thing in the florist trade.
101 uses for water, apparently
My boss called me “Tyrone” on accident (My name is Tyrand). She apologized and bought me lunch to make up for it. I didn’t think twice about it, since I’m used to getting called every variant of “Ty-(fill in blank here)”. Then later on I read a quote she keeps in her work area that made me feel kinda special.
“During my second month of nursing school, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: “What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?” Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. “Absolutely,” said the professor. “In your careers you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say ‘Hello’.”
I’ve never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.“
This is a very important lesson to learn
My boyfriend just woke up, mostly still asleep and told me “don’t worry, it’s getting better” in a heavy, American accent, which is unusual for an Australian man.
“Why are you American?” I asked, to which I got:
“Sorry, it’s getting better” in a stereotypical posh English accent.
“Why are you English?” I asked, amused.
“What is he normally?” He managed to ask.
“He? You’re not anyone else, you’re you.”
“Ugh, me” was the last thing he said, in a right proper Aussie accent before he fell back into proper sleep.
Bitch just thwarted a ghost possession by judging his accents
My boyfriend would be gettin’ hit with the baseball bat beside our bed if he ever woke up and said, “What is he normally?” about himself.
Then you would NOT have liked the time he pointed to a corner of our room while he was sleeping and said “they share a dimension with Earth and they take cats to eat them”.
I absolutely do not like that.
antoni, pouring a glass of water: pls drink this
tan: a leather jacket… over a hoodie… over a plaid shirt? what’s the inspiration behind this?
jake: bisexuality
jake: so my dad left when i was 7-
karamo, signing adoption papers: i am your father now
jake, already sobbing: not sure how my other gay black work dad will feel about this
bobby: so im gonna renovate ur house, really make the place organized
jake, sweating in adhd: uh not sure how long that will last
jonathan, putting away his razors in shock: wait what do you mean you physically can’t grow one?
holt, bursting through the doors in dramatic gay fashion: who is this ‘karamo brown’ and why are we involved in a custody battle?
