AFAB (Assigned Feminist At Birth)

I couldn't have said it better myself.

As a 30 year old man who escaped the Alt-right pipeline, you're not going to be happy about the answer.

All I hear from leftists is how much they hate me for my immutable traits, how much they blame me for everything wrong with the world, how much they want me and everyone who looks like me dead.

Whereas Alt-right types would call me "brother" and welcome me into their ranks so long as I hated the right ways.

Do you understand the difference?

I'm an ally and support equality because I feel it's the morally correct choice to make, but holy fuck is it difficult to reconcile that with the fact that means fighting for a lot of people who see you as the scum of the earth.

Read this and then read it again and then read some fucking bell hooks because this is a legitimate problem on the left.

"To create loving men, we must love males. Loving maleness is different from praising and rewarding males for living up to sexist-defined notions of male identity. Caring about men because of what they do for us is not the same as loving males for simply being." - bell hooks, The Will to Change https://bellhooksbooks.com/product/the-will-to-change/

funny how women dont turn to fascism and rightwing politics in masses because of the hatred and discrimination we are and have been faced with for centuries 🤨

Exactly. Funny how both sides call us bitches, whores etc., view women as property, and support misogynistic things yet we don’t support fascism and alt-right shit. It’s only men I see doing this on a large scale.

voting is harm mitigation, not unequivocal moral endorsement. get over yourself and fucking vote.

I hate you fuckers so much right now

I wanna see you all vote in the midterms. Every race. Then again. And again. And again. Every election. Every race. Primaries. Generals. Boring little local elections.

It’s super annoying seeing 4B called a “sex strike.” I’ve been participating for almost a year now and it’s not about getting back at men or punishing men. I don’t even think about men when I’m not online posting radfem/terf stuff. My personal goal is to ignore men altogether and focus on my safety, my career, and my success. I’m only focused on myself and protecting other women. If that’s selfish and MiSaNdRiSt, so be it. (Also let’s not even get into the fact that plenty of 4B participants are lesbians and bisexual women, so some of us are still dating & having sex, just not with males)

4B is also about building a community, a sisterhood. I’ve never felt lonely because I don’t have a boyfriend, I have a strong female friend group and we hang out and play games on the regular. I also go to events that are either only for women or strongly female-dominated, where I’ve met so many amazing women, older and younger, that have become good friends to me. Many of these events are created and run by older women, who always seem very happy to have a young person like me join them. It makes me so mad seeing how older women are demonized especially on social media.

Just remember that if you’re new and considering 4B. It’s not about sticking it to men. Focus on keeping yourself safe and forming strong female friendships and communities.

TBH as someone who’s been doing it for 27 years if you count from when I started puberty, I’m fine with women using the language of workers’ rights, and sometimes use that language myself. A massive reason why I’ve always had an aversion to dating men is because of the unreciprocated labour that is demanded of women in those four areas. So, for example, when I see left wing men malding about the fact that so many people live alone these days, I tell them that that is basically the result of an international strike by the people who have historically been exploited in marriages, and that men floundering as a result of that is not our problem.

Also let’s not even get into the fact that plenty of 4B participants are lesbians and bisexual women

If that’s how South Koreans have chosen to define it then that’s their prerogative, but lesbians in particular need to recognise that the consequences I bear are unique. Lesbians have to fight against society being violently opposed to them dating women, so they are not privileged for not being attracted to men, but just as I don’t get to declare myself a victim of lesbophobia just because I don’t date men, lesbians don’t get to claim that they know what it’s like to be celibate due to most of your dating pool thinking you don’t deserve basic humanity.

4B is also about building a community

So are the unions who arrange strikes! I’m not trying to be snarky; I’m just saying that strikes themselves are a collective thing.

Just remember that if you’re new and considering 4B. It’s not about sticking it to men.

Yes and no. If you’re expecting men to instantly change as a result of you refusing to be in relationships, you’ll be disappointed. As I said, I’ve been doing it for 27 years and men still hate us. But it’s fine to be really fucking angry about the fact that it’s come to this. I am really fucking angry about the fact that it’s come to this. I deserve better than to live in a world where being celibate is the best way to protect myself from a vast range of exploitation, disrespect, contempt, and outright hatred that includes a non-negligible possibility of being murdered. This isn’t OK and I’m glad the couch fucker felt threatened by my American sisters even before the election.

Like, it’s fine that you’re at peace with this. But it’s also fine that some women aren’t, and it is perfectly fine and probably good if men see this as a consequence of their actions, because it is.

You make some really good points I didn’t consider. I’m sorry if my post sounded condescending to women who are angry :(

Women joining the 4B movement is cool but like... Why were you sleeping with men who don't respect your rights as a human being in the first place???

Because most men don’t respect women’s rights as human beings and when I noticed that and chose not to sleep with anyone, y’all called me a loser.

"blah blah men can be oppressed bc they aren't allowed to cry and express emotion"

they aren't allowed to do that bc that's perceived as feminine.

the feminine is being demonized.

it still comes back to oppression of the FEMININE.

Crying is passive, that's why it's the only emotion men are discouraged to express and the only emotion women are encouraged to express.

As for all other emotions, men can express them more than women. Indeed, they impose their feelings on everyone else. Roadrage? Males. Hooligans? Males. Their team won? Screams and cheers and driving in the streets honking to show everyone. And hugging and kissing each other like lovers. Sad? They try to make others suffer. Mass murderers if they're lonely. They impose their feelings on women every time they catcall us. Punching walls or throwing objects. And even... crying, women are very empathetic and moved when a man cries. And they can do all that and still be considered rational beings.

Women's feelings are too demonized to be expressed. An angry woman is hysterical. An excited woman is immature and begging for attention. A sad woman is playing the victim and lazy. A frustrated woman is bitter. A tired woman is nagging and annoying. A lonely woman is exaggerating or a hag. A wronged woman is lying. A horny woman is a slut (a reluctant woman is a frigid prude.) All you can do is cry, lest they call you a "karen."

When you cry, your vision gets blurry, you have difficulty breathing, your voice is shaky, and sometimes you can't even speak. You are silenced. It's a whole body experience and is incompatible with rebelling and being active. But even women's tears are now treated with anger because they're perceived as "manipulative." So what emotion can women express? Other than a demented excitement at the prospect of doing chores or becoming a mother? Wait, no, even mothers are demonized as dumb Karens who annoy everyone with their kids. So... what's left?

Almost every insult they’re called stems from misogyny.

“Bitch” -female dog. And as we all know it’s come to mean “woman who is unpleasant.” “Bitchboy” is no different, the insult is just saying “oh you’re acting like a woman”

“Pussy” -slang for female genitalia. Means weak or cowardly. Again we see women being associated with being weak.

“F-g”- homophobic slur against gay men, who are often discriminated against for being “feminine” or “girly.” The slur is also used by old people to mean weak or a coward. See the connection?

Pretty much every insult for men is an insult to women too. Being feminine or “like a girl” is seen as an insult, a bad thing.

I don't even know where to begin with this.

That group name is accurate. Are you even “pro-life” if you aren’t willing to take care of a baby in need? After all that preaching about protecting the unborn, you should also care about protecting actually born children. But we all know these people are hypocrites!

That poor young girl and of course the poor baby too.

Women are getting rid of their Trump supporting partners while they still legally can since they clearly don't give a shit about them or any other woman.

If you're thinking about getting a divorce, you should do it while you still can.

"I voted for the guy who actively put her life and the life of every woman she knows and loves at risk and will continue to do so. I don't understand what she's upset about. It's just politics."

Dude.

Only privileged people who won’t be affected by it say “it’s just politics.”

Stop calling it women’s healthcare stop calling it women’s healthcare stop calling it women’s healthcare stop calling it women’s healthcare stop calling it women’s healthcare

hi op, what is a woman?

Why can’t we call it women’s healthcare OP? Immigrants who have very low English proficiency, disabled women, little girls, elderly women, and uneducated women all know it as women’s healthcare and that’s what they’ll ask for. Why can’t we call it women’s healthcare OP?

OP explain why exactly you don’t want it to be called women’s healthcare. Also you know you’re wrong because you’re removing every reblog calling you out.

All the trans men I know in real life (who aren’t chronically online) don’t have an issue with things like abortion being called women’s healthcare and women’s rights because at the end of the day, the only people who need that specific healthcare are female. When you muddy the words, it allows misogynists to find loopholes.

What you cannot define, you cannot defend.

I know that I sound like an MRA when I say "If you spread hateful rhetoric about men, you will drive them away from the feminist cause and lose them as valuable allies" but also

If you spread hateful rhetoric about men, you will drive them away from the feminist cause and lose them as valuable allies.

You sound like an MRA because you are one. Stop tone policing other women and holding back feminism because you’ve convinced yourself you’re a boy.

Anyway trans people shut the fuck up forever.

Sorry but idgaf about driving men away or if I hurt their feelings. My focus, as a feminist, is on WOMEN only. If men want to support me (and I have several that do), great. But I really don’t care if they decide to be allies or not.

Sometimes we need to be selfish. I’m going to put my own safety, needs and dignity over a man’s feelings every time.