Actually I'm gonna speak on it lol
there are MANY transfem dykes both overall in the lesbian community as well as the stud/butch/femme community. Let's all put more effort to show support to the transfem community as they are constantly ignored, dismissed, and left out of conversations regarding lesbianism. ESPECIALLY when we try to talk about lesbian gender.
people aren't ready to admit this but we tme (trans misogyny exempt- yes including those who are trans themselves) people in lesbian spaces tend to extend open arms and praise for transmascs but it ends as soon as someone is transfem. And I need you to PAUSE HERE. I'm not saying transmascs don't face a lot of hate and transphobia in the lesbian community, they absolutely do just look at any lesbian tiktok and their comments section. But let's not pretend that trans women are even brought up or considered in conversations because whether people want to pretend and ignore this or not, they are seen as outsiders and are seen as not "real" lesbians by us, as well as not a valid form of womanhood and experience. Like, there are people who will discredit someone's lesbianism if they are dating a trans woman, and we need to take a step back and recognize how messed up it all is. This is not new, this has been happening for a long time but we don't hear trans women when they speak on it. Let's listen to trans women and put more effort to be inclusive of them, they deserve to be just as celebrated as everyone else.
Even subconsciously, transfems are completely not considered in a lot of ways we view our community (in this case being lesbian studbutchfemme Tumblr) they are pushed aside by us, told to take up less space, FORGOTTEN. Not to mention we then tell them not to not complain about the scraps they are given and it's such bullshit honestly.
Like, just look at the people who get mad at terms like tme/tma. Look at any post praising and trying to uplift butches, and look at how they will list every type of category of person and then will leave out transfems completely. Not only that, but they often exclude studs from the table so they won't even bother trying to include transfem studs...Its always support trans butches and then when they expand on that, they start listening transmasc experiences ONLY. Its going on T it's getting top surgery it's he/him lesbians- etc etc.. we can't forget about she/her trans fem butches and studs who's masculinity doesn't negate their womanhood. We can't forget about trans fem butches, studs, and even femmes who are left out when we try to uplift transgender people in our community.
sometimes, it's not intentional so before people get defensive- just listen.
I want you to know that I get that, but it just shows how deep rooted trans misogyny is. we are so quick to be defensive when people point it out, so it's hard for any change to happen at all. We all have a very narrow view on what trans misogyny looks like, it's not just violent direct hatred towards trans women, it's even indirect things like leaving them out of conversations, losing interest once we learn someone is transfem, it's assuming every trans butch and stud is transmasc, it's thinking transfems are predatory and taking away space from others, it's using othering language like "male/female socialization", it's so many things. Too many things.
I don't really know what to end with but I just encourage those who want to be better, to start working internally on how we view our community. Stop limiting our views of lesbian genders to one experience, transfems and trans women in general have always been here and always will be. It starts with you, all I ask is that you take a moment to consider the way you think about our community and try to put in more of an effort to not overlook trans women from here on out.
I am hoping by me planting little seeds of awareness into all of you, that it helps you realize you are being trans misogynistic more often than you think. It might be shocking, it might make you feel guilty, but just take it as an opportunity to change for the better. Sit with your discomfort and make steps to improve.