Bobert Zanobert My Beloved

I am a funny little dude, feel free to send me funny little images

⭐ Geist, They/He/It, 21

✨️ I like video games and horror movies. DBD, NSR, Psychonauts, Apex Legends

⭐️ I draw, doing my best to post but being an adult is not funky fresh

✨️ Proshippers and any other freaks begone from this house

I don't CARE if it's cringe, my clown WILL be holding that little fucker's hand!

Also featuring kitty AND puppy Franco. In my heart he's a sphynx/munchkin mix as a cat and a chihuahua/pug mix as a dog.

Yes I am obsessed with them. Yes Franco did everything wrong ever. No I will not apologize lol

Happy Halloween!! I was going to post this earlier today, but the past two weeks have been wack so I'm writing this the day of lol.

COYLE

- Hates Halloween bc crime increases Halloween night and he's sick of dealing with property damage calls. Though, he does like enforcing the law, so he does get a little enjoyment out if it.

- He'd walk into a Halloween party for a noise complaint and get mistaken for a male stripper 😔

- Finds people dressing up as a cop insulting. Little kids could get away with it, but adults? That's impersonating an officer, bucko!

- If someone asked if he was dressed as a cop he'd actually lose his shit and get into a screaming match with them. The disrespect!

- Not the biggest fan of candy, but he'd be the guy that actually enjoys candy corn. The monster /j

- A little old lady would offer him candy and he'd accept it with a smile, then immediately try to pass it off to someone else.

- He would NOT pass out candy. Fucker hands out apples and shit bc he likes to see the disappointment in children's eyes.

- Says some absolutely WILD shit to anyone in a sexy costume. Man or woman, doesn't matter, he's pointing out how you look in a very uncomfortable way.

- Kids would manage to prank his ass and handcuff him to something for the rest of the night. Good luck responding to calls, jackass.

MOTHER GOOSEBERRY

- She loves Halloween, Futterman hates it with a passion for obvious reasons.

- She's cooing over the children's costumes. She'd give extra cute outfits extra candy (if Futterman let her hand out candy)

- Futterman makes her hand out apples and floss and toothbrushes and she feels a little bad seeing the children get sad. The babies deserve a little treat :(

- She'd secretly hide a piece of candy under the apple and dump it into the kid's hand with a not so secret wink.

- Futterman lectures small children who have big bags of candy and makes them cry. You're gonna get cavities!!

- In particular, if he sees taffy or candy corn or anything that's pure sticky sugar he loses his fucking mind. Screaming about plaque and tartar while the kids run away.

- Gooseberry is dressed up as a big friendly witch! Her pointy hat and heeled boots make her even taller and the children are in awe of this big friend. Futterman is her familiar. He's not impressed.

- If Futterman had a choice he'd be a weregoose. He's frightening children in more ways than one.

- I can guarantee she didn't get to go trick or treating as a kid. She should be allowed to trick or treat as an adult without Futterman giving her shit.

FRANCO

- Another child who didn't get to go trick or treating. Got to see other children receive candy but his dad 1. Didn't care enough to take him trick or treating, and 2. Knew it was far too dangerous to be out and about with his status as mob boss.

- This translates to a desperate need for him to go trick or treating. But, he'd be really iffy on wearing a costume. On one hand, he wants to really experience what he missed out on! On the other hand, he feels like he'd be mocked and that he doesn't need a costume, he just deserves candy.

- A little old lady would pinch his cheek and call his costume cute and he wouldn't be sure if he should cry or get pissed off.

- The amount of candy this man would devour would be terrifying for anyone to witness. Candy after candy, chocolate after chocolate, his tummy would hurt so bad by the end.

- He's NOT picky, either. Have a candy you don't like? Pass it to him, he'll scarf it down without even thinking about it. A couple of the sticky ones make his teeth hurt, though.

- The sugar crash afterwards would be legendary. He's face down on the carpet, half dead, shaking from the low blood sugar, with a puddle of drool under him. Someone clean him up and put him to bed.

- Costume wise, I can either see him going as an imp (the poster and bc he's my evil little guy) OR a unicorn bc of the line he has with Coyle. Pacifier comes with both outfits whether you like it or not.

- If you offer him some shit like popcorn balls or non candy when he comes to your door (or point out that he's an adult), he's pulling out Lupara. Don't test him, he's rabid.

- He'd be so excited if he could go trick or treating with Gooseberry. He'd hold her hand and feel like the most special little guy. One hand in hers, one hand on his pumpkin pail, paci in his mouth, he's happy as can be.

I love Halloween so much, everyone have a great night and enjoy some candy and the Geister event!

@thehalloweenspooks @millie-milkshake (thank you both for asking teehee)

Dressing them up like barbie dolls. I should do one of those dress up memes for them and draw them in stupid outfits. I'm putting Coyle in a skirt.

COYLE

- This man would wear leather 90% of the time, including leather pants. He takes wonderful care of his leather as well, makes sure to condition it as often as needed to keep it beautiful. If you see him sniffing his leather jacket, ignore it.

- It does not matter that he's sweating to death in said leather, he's not taking it off. He can't let you see his shirt with puppies on it underneath /j

- Prefers his clothing rather tight, super loose fitting clothing feels like it gets in the way. He likes the feeling of the wires wrapped around him for that reason.

- Would commit denim on denim crimes. Denim jeans, denim jacket, denim boots (referred to as doots by futterman). He does this to piss people off.

- Despises too much color in an outfit. Bright and colorful disgusts him, he's wearing neutrals and only neutrals.

- Would let a reagent decorate his beard with bows if he was promised pistachios. This is only if the pistachios are in his hands while they decorate.

- You'd think he'd wear heeled boots to make himself seem taller, but you'd be wrong! He's got the insoles that make him taller instead :)

- I think you could convince him to wear a rodeo cowboy outfit. Tassels and all that. You'd tell him he looks cool and he'd believe you.

- Cargo short dad vibes. Each pocket is full of cigarettes and/or pistachios. He doesn't care about the fashion he likes the utility. Takes him a good 5 minutes to get anything out of a pocket though.

- Wore fingerless gloves when he was younger bc he thought they made him look cooler. He'd try them on again and Franco would bully him relentlessly for trying to act younger than he is. He's crying in his room afterward.

MOTHER GOOSEBERRY

- She'd be the English teacher with a collection of fun skirts. Cute patterns, silly patterns, gaudy patterns, you name it, she's wearing it. Futterman says she looks like a rainbow threw up on her.

- She'd also love bold earring choices. Big earrings that make you double-take to make sure you saw them right, earrings that light up, anything with frills. She's a lover of the bold, partially because the children love her crazy styles.

- She'd play around with different lipstick colors if she had access to them. A nice purple lip would make her happy. If Futterman didn't call her a whore for wearing it.

- Futterman would also call her a whore if she tried to wear a shorter skirt, but she'd still tried to get away with it. Not super short, mind you, she's got an image to keep up for the children, but maybe something a little below the knees?

- If a reagent offered to do her hair, like put little accessories in it and detangle it, she'd cry. She wants to feel feminine and she wants to feel pretty, and a pretty bow might help her with that.

- She'd love to wear a petticoat under her skirts, the extra poof would make her feel fun. That's if Futterman didn't find a way to make a fat joke about it.

- Futterman himself would have a collection of very dapper bow ties. Polka-dots and stripes and maybe even little stars, and a variety of colors. He feels fancy when she changes them out for him.

- He'd hate it, but I think Phyllis would have a variety of little hats for him. I wanna see him in one of those little propeller hats. Spin it and she takes off of the ground.

- If it were modern times I could absolutely see her wearing a giant t-shirt with something like a kitten or a puppy on it. Maybe even tie-dye. She'd be a big t-shirt enjoyer is the main idea here.

- Would LOVE chunky heels or maybe even platforms if she was feeling adventurous, but I have this bad feeling she already got shit for being a tall woman. Let her be an even taller queen.

FRANCO

- I love the concept that he wears his clothes too big to feel smaller. While I'm not sure if Murkoff gave him his outfit that he wears in game, I don't think he's too upset about it being oversized.

- I also think that he likes wearing his suits bc they make him feel a little less ugly. He knows the suit is dirty and stained with a bunch of different shit, but a suit is a suit, and suits make you handsome, right?

- He's very particular about his bow ties, he only likes a select few patterns and colors. They still have to match with his suits, though. Can't have himself looking like a fool who doesn't know how to dress!

- Would attempt to steal one of Futterman's bow ties bc he likes it and thinks it'd look better on him. Would almost get fucking annihilated as a result.

- We know his hygiene isn't great from the comics, but I think he's at least slightly ashamed about just how filthy his outfit is. I think he's just kinda accepted that it's not going to be cleaned/he has no way to clean it.

- If you put him in a brand new zoot suit and stuck him in front of a mirror, he'd try to act cocky and like he knew he was handsome as hell. But you'd absolutely be able to tell by how he's smiling and how his eyes are watery that he hasn't felt this attractive in awhile.

- A personalized pacifier WOULD be considered a part of an outfit. If his paci matched his outfit he'd feel so damn cool. And if it had his name on it and looked nice? He'd feel like a prince.

- He's gotta wear his dress shoes, they're a mandatory part of his look, but he wishes they had a little more heel to them. He's joining Coyle in the insoles that make him taller. My short king.

- Outside of the suits, he'd love a soft, heavy sweater. Something that really makes him feel like he's being cuddled. The color wouldn't really matter to him, as long as it offered him some comfort.

- I'm a firm believer in him wearing diamond earrings. I know it doesn't fit as much with the baby part of him, but the mobster in him loves showing off his wealth. He'd fiddle with them a lot, though.

I accidentally assigned Gooseberry's style as "lesbian art teacher" and I won't be taking it back ❤️

"Scared? Of a little baby?"

Something something the trauma this man has been through has created the monster he is.

Also, do yall forget I do art and not just the headcanons sometimes? Bc I do. Click and zoom in on the crucifix I put too much work into mini Jesus

You can't ask for Franco headcanons from me and not expect me to bring about the cringe,,, I apologize in advance.

FRANCO ONLY HEADCANONS

- He has a little bit of a tummy and he's a little self conscious about it I'm not taking this one back.

- If he gets crying hard enough he'll start hiccuping, and it's almost impossible for him to stop once he starts. He hates it so much, it makes him feel stupid.

- His vision is kinda shit but he always assumed it was bc of the head trauma. He has an astigmatism. Get him a pair of fucking glasses please.

- His pokemon team would be Tentacruel (bc poison and water), Kangaskhan (he wishes he was the baby), Vullaby (baby should have a mean looking baby pokemon), Salazzle (poison and... i think you understand), Garbador (he's so stinky), and Weezing (poison gas).

- His top three animal crossing villagers would be Vivian, Diana, and Hazel. He likes the pretty villagers and the big sister ones :)

- He'd love a happy meal from McDonald's, but he'd want extra fries instead of apple slices and when he didn't get them he'd throw it back through the window.

- Would benefit from a weighted blanket. I think he likes to be smooshed flat, not just in the freaky way, but in the pressure stim way too. It's comforting, it helps him calm down, and it's warm and toasty.

- If he lost his pacifier he'd throw and entire fit until he found it again. Screaming, throwing shit, turning furniture over, fighting others, he needs it back and he needs it back NOW. Sucking his thumb will not tide him over, either, the lack of it hanging against his chest makes him anxious.

- If not allowed to suck his own thumb, he will resort to sucking someone else's thumb instead. Yes, this is as horrifying as you think it is. Not as horrifying as him with the big grunt, but still, enough to make most reagents want to crawl under the docks for the rest of the trial.

- He's taking hangover naps in the middle of trials. He had one too many Wolf's Milks the night before and now he's groggy as shit. Catch him taking a nap curled up in a corner. A nice reagent throws a blanket/coat over him and he secretly gets emotional about it when waking up.

- If you make kissy sounds at him after he's made them at you, you better be ready to either run or kiss him. That's an invitation, this man is starved for every sort of attention, and he needs SMOOCHES.

Get this imp out of my head (I'm lying I love him being in my skull at all times)

They're going to kill each other and we're all going to point and laugh.

COYLE

- Starting out strong, he is the reason they're going to be late to Disneyland. He wanted to be out of the facility at 8 am sharp and he woke up at 9.

- Was in charge of buying the lightning lane passes. Forgot. Franco was ready to kill him over it but Gooseberry remembered.

- He REFUSES to pay for more than one food item. He is not going broke for a sandwich just bc a fuckin mouse is selling it to him.

- There is a single exception to this rule, and it's pistachio cold brew. He'd buy 7 and drink them throughout the day. He cannot resist the pistachio.

- He's having fun on the rides but if you ask him about it he just gets grouchy as hell. God forbid this grown man have fun.

- He forced pusher to come along to push their little buggy with all their shit in it. Pusher is being paid in coke by Gooseberry for their help.

- His feet hurt like a bitch by the end but he won't say it, he just limps and moans and groans. He won't ask to sit down either bc he's a big strong man and "men don't need to sit down", whatever that means.

- If anybody even LOOKS at one of the gift shops he's throwing a fit. He doesn't care if it's their money to spend, you're not wasting money like that!!

- Just because he's the law doesn't mean he's not gonna break Disneyland rules. He's going to make someone break character, and he's going to get them in trouble for it.

MOTHER GOOSEBERRY

- Woke up bright and early and got everything together for the trip. Had no help from anybody. Eternally seething.

- Wants to take photos with every character, ESPECIALLY the princesses. She's imagining herself as one, pretty dress and all. She's no princess but she is a queen ❤️

- Giftshop enthusiast, wants to look at and touch everything. Will she actually buy anything? Not if she wants Futterman to stay quiet.

- Futterman would shout a curse word in the middle of a crowded area and Phyllis would tape his beak shut for the rest of the day.

- Futterman also refuses to pay the prices for food and drink. Eats a kids ice cream cone and makes the kid cry.

- Futterman would also HATE Donald Duck. Genuinely. Feels like he's the only fowl allowed around here. Would try to snap at whoever is in the Donald Duck outfit.

- Loves all the rides, but especially "It's a Small World". Phyllis is singing along while being periodically interrupted by Futterman screaming for mercy.

- Planned matching outfits for everyone to wear, including Futterman! Futterman does not willingly wear his mouse ears but superglue solves all problems.

- If Coyle and Franco act up too much, she spends the money on Mickey Mouse harness backpacks and puts those fuckers on leashes.

- Hidden Mickey finder right here, she will find them all and you will not have a chance to even look for them.

FRANCO

- Harasses the princesses. Phyllis is going to beat him senseless in a second if he doesn't behave. She spent too much time planning to get kicked out over him.

- Also harasses the mascots but more to the effect of trying to steal their heads. He's a damn menace.

- He got ice cream all over his shirt 10 minutes into being there. Pissed he spilled his milkshake. Coyle is talking mad shit to him about it too.

- Demands a balloon and a cute pair of mouse ears, throws the worst tantrum ever if he doesn't get either. Scream cries if he accidentally lets go of the balloon.

- Steals a child's balloon if he is not allowed to buy one. Would honestly steal just about anything he could get his hands on. Why pay when he can just take?

- Tried to cut in line and got dragged back by Coyle. Coyle might be a jackass but even he understands the importance of waiting your turn in line.

- Yet again, not allowed to have Lupara with him. Resorts to having his pacifier in his mouth the whole time for comfort. Please stop taking Lupara it makes him anxious.

- Speaking of his pacifier, Gooseberry was nice enough to buy him one with Mickey Mouse on it for the trip. It makes him feel special :)

- His feet got tired so he got into the cart that Pusher has been pushing around. Pusher hates him so much and has considered dumping him into a fountain more than once.

I have never been to Disneyland but I do have Google so I think I know what I'm talking about

Heyyy so I may have made an outlast oc...

This is Pierrot! I didn't draw their goggles or E.S.O.P. bc I am lazy ❤️. They're very big and very friendly, getting themself into some less than favorable situations by trying to make friends instead of running for their life. They were a circus clown before they were brought to Sinyala, and despite how awful the therapies are, they still retain a lot of the humor and joy they had in the circus. They'll teach you to juggle if you ask nicely :).

I'm considering making an ask blog on the side for them, bc I'd love to answer silly questions about them. Also I ship them with Franco and wrote a whole mini fic about it bc I could, which I will maybe possibly post tomorrow.

Let me know if you'd be interested in an ask blog for them!

Took a little break to give my brain more time to soak in the outlast bathtub, but I'm back with more silly.

COYLE

- He wouldn't take his sunglasses off for the movie I'm saying this right now. It could be a 3D movie and he'd just put the glasses over top of his own.

- Kinda guy to get a hotdog at the movies instead of just popcorn. Then he complains about the price to the underage cashier.

- He likes to watch cop and action movies, imagines himself being the protagonist through the whole movie. He wishes he was that cool.

- Leaves popcorn on the floor and his empty cup in the cup holder because "it's their job to clean it up".

- Would try to steal snacks that Gooseberry brought in. She was gonna share them anyway but if he's gonna be like that he can starve.

- Shushes anybody who even breathes too loud when the movie is going. He is Locked In and if you distract him he's going to kick your ass.

- Due to being this locked in, he will hold his piss for however long the movie is. He's not missing a second of this, he'll piss himself if he has to.

- Does not care what seat he actually bought, he's gonna sit where he likes and you're gonna deal with it. Dick.

- Would try to smoke a cigarette inside of the theater and have to be escorted out. Would not go quietly.

- Does not stay to see if there's anything after the credits, misses out every time. It's not that he doesn't know, he doesn't believe that there's actually anything to see.

MOTHER GOOSEBERRY

- Brings a purse full of snacks with her. She is unwilling to spend 20 dollars on a little bit of candy. Still gets popcorn though, nobody can resist movie theater popcorn.

- Futterman wants to watch gorey horror movies while she wants to watch romcoms or just comedies in general.

- Futterman will complain through the whole movie if he's forced to watch a romcom. And he's loud about it too, the other movie goers would complain, but... that goose is scary.

- If he got his wish and they're watching a horror movie, he's cheering when characters die. Fuck the protagonists he's here for BLOOD.

- Futterman also complains about her snack choices. Candy? SUGAR? Think of the cavities, Phyllis!!

- She doesn't talk during movies but she is the one softly gasping whenever something like a plot twist happens.

- Futterman is face down in the popcorn bucket just munching away. He's gonna need a bath (read: get dunked in the sink) when they get home.

- Futterman would crack shitty jokes during quiet parts. Don't laugh it'll only encourage him to do it again.

- Phyllis is also a "hold it until the movie is over" kinda person but only because Futterman throws a fit if he misses out on parts. That's if they're watching a horror movie, if it's a romcom he's begging her to leave lol.

- Refills her popcorn before she leaves and brings it home with her.

FRANCO

- He actually can't eat popcorn bc the kernels get stuck in his teeth and it's uncomfortable :(

- Instead of eating popcorn, he's scarfing down candy. He strikes me as a gummy kind of guy.

- Gooseberry is actively rushing him past the snacks and candy bc he WILL try to buy 8 different kinds of candy and end up spending 60 dollars. He has the money but he does NOT need to experience a sugar rush halfway through a movie.

- He'd also go for horror movies, but also mafia/mob movies. Would shout at the screen about inaccuracies.

- Out of all of the assets, he's the one talking during the movie. He has a hard time sitting still and he's not completely paying attention and he wants Gooseberry to tell him what he missed. Coyle is shushing him the whole time.

- Despite being the one that keeps yapping, he'll kick the back of someone else's seat if he thinks they're talking too loud.

- Also leaves a mess of candy wrappers and spilled drinks, just like Coyle. He just doesn't care tbh.

- Gets up 9 separate times to use the bathroom, has to step in front of Coyle each time to get out of the row. They're gonna kill each other after the movie.

- If somebody else tries to step over his legs to get out of the row, he'd trip them. The menace.

- Gooseberry is clapping her hand over his eyes if there's any nudity and he is FIGHTING to move her hand away. Let him see!!

I would watch a movie with Phyllis and only Phyllis everyone else can wait in the car (sorry Franco)

I have infinite headcanons that I can spit out about these two. Coyle is a little harder bc sometimes all I can think about is beating him up for the funnies, but these two? They make up my brain chemistry.

MOTHER GOOSEBERRY

- Reagents picked up on the "the goose in on the loose" line and will now use that to tell their fellow reagents that she's out and about.

- Sweet tooth, but not to the same level as Franco. She likes cakes and pies and cookies and will choose those first over anything else, while he goes for candy and sugary drinks.

- I'm projecting here but she LOVES cinnamon. The only complaint she's ever gotten about one of her baked goods was there being too much cinnamon. She had to politely explain that that simply wasn't possible, and then Futterman had to explain that they needed to shut the fuck up, and then shut the fuck up.

- She likes to hum to herself a lot. I feel like she hums and sings whenever it's too quiet and Futterman gets mad she just won't let there be silence.

- Massive fan of comfy sweaters. She likes the light fabric of her blouse but a good comfy sweater is where it's at for her.

- Her favorite season is spring! She also likes winter (for the cozy sweaters and baked goods, obvi), but spring is when everything comes to life. Futterman would eat a bee though.

- She loves to sniff flowers but I think she'd have allergies :( But the funny thing is she's not the one who sneezes, it's Futterman.

- Likes the thought of having her nails painted but as soon as they chip she's gotta take all of the polish off. Partially nervous picking, partially bc she thinks it looks bad.

- If she's not feeling absolutely bloodthirsty and catches you she just picks you up by the back of the neck and holds you there. Naughty reagents go in air jail.

- Has a collection of pretty skirts but she feels like she never has anywhere nice to wear them. Someone let her show off her nice skirts.

- This woman is a lesbian and I will not be debating. Futterman says some... awful things about it. Damn homophobic goose.

FRANCO

- Even though he tells you to watch the suit, he knows that thing is a mess. Having something nice on just makes him feel a little less ugly and you BETTER not ruin it.

- Cuddles with Lupara sometimes, it brings him comfort even if it's genuinely uncomfortable.

- Winking at him if he catches you in a hiding spot will get you a 5 second head start to run for your life. God help you if he catches you though, you don't play with his feelings like that and get away with it.

- Would have, without a doubt, been the kid who tried to drink a spoonful of vanilla extract bc it smelled good.

- Would also eat a spoonful of sugar but he'd actually enjoy that. He's not kidding about that sweet tooth.

- I don't care WHAT the game shows, this man is itty bitty. 5 foot 3 at best. I'm leveling this playing field, give us our short king Red Barrels!

- His hearing is bad on the side with the visible injuries. It's why he shoots first when he hears a noise, he doesn't know what the hell he just heard and he'd rather be safe than sorry.

- Has a hard time keeping what he's drinking off of his shirt or from running down his chin. Not like he's trying to be elegant when he drinks that cocktail.

- If you offered him skim milk he'd kill you on the spot. This is a WHOLE MILK HOUSEHOLD.

- I don't think his "mommy" would need to be a woman tbh. I think fulfilling the mothering role would be enough for him most of the time. Besides, tiddy is tiddy.

It's so tempting to put in all my silly headcanons for Franco bc I love him but I will refrain from the Cringe

Ohhh this one has the potential to be so silly and yet so sad... All of them could use a good hug (I'm hugging Coyle to steal from his back pocket :) )

COYLE

- Starting out mediocre, Coyle ranks at a 4/10 on the hug scale.

- His hugs are so stiff and so awkward, it's like hugging a plank. You might also get zapped so watch out.

- You know those awkward dad hugs? The ones where it's just a side hug? He can barely even manage those.

- If you gave him a proper hug, he'd keep his hands out to the side, no contact. You'd think he'd get handsy but no, he's so confused by the hug he just freezes up.

- Please don't surprise him with a hug he will suplex you.

- Also he is Not Soft, and his leather jacket smells funny. Not funny haha, funny weird. Mostly like cigarettes and sadness.

- Definitely mumbling something weird during the hug that makes you reconsider your decisions. Not weird enough to pull away but enough to make you think "damn was this really a good idea"

- Take this hug opportunity to fuck with his battery, he's too caught up in how awkward this is to notice. Steal his wallet too, for funsies.

- Would have a hard time chasing you after you hugged him. Not because he's developed some sudden emotional connection but bc that was Weird and he now dreads looking you in the eyes.

MOTHER GOOSEBERRY

- 15/10 for hugs, the most comforting hug you will ever receive in your entire life. If you consider Futterman's presence however it drops down to a 9/10.

- Futterman threatens you about 5 seconds into the hug, if you try anything funny you're getting drill to the face. This is why he affects the score so much.

- There's also the chance that he's going to whisper a question about your dental hygiene, and God help you if you answer no to flossing.

- Ignoring the goose demon, hugging her is sooo nice. She's warm and soft and bc she's so tall anyone who's short is getting surrounded by nice hug.

- She loves hugs, she loves to give and receive them. You can even potentially make her nonviolent for a minute or two if you offer a hug.

- Pray for your spine though bc she gives bear hugs. She will not hesitate to crush the life out of you with her squeezes.

- The kinda hugger that pets your head and calls you her sweet baby, or something like that. Again, most comforting hugs in the world.

- You can ask to hug Futterman but he'll just hiss at you. Man hates being hugged. Being involved in a hug is already bad enough.

- If you're small enough she will pick you up during a hug. She could very easily lift someone but if you're smaller she's more likely to think of you as a child.

FRANCO

- He's hard to rank bc how do you rank someone who either tries to kill you or cries when you hug them. I'm gonna give him a 6 or 7/10 because the hug itself isn't too bad if he doesn't go for violence.

- The violent reaction is mainly bc he's not used to anybody being kind to him. Most times he's had human contact it's been to hurt him.

- That's also why he cries. He's so unbelievably touch starved that an innocent hug can send him spiraling.

- You better hug him while he cries. He might track you down afterwards if you don't, nobody can know he cried like that. Also, you hurt his feelings :(

- If you DO continue to hug him, prepare to be crushed in his arms. He's shockingly strong, and he's clingy when he's upset.

- Also don't he surprised if he ends up in your lap tbh. You gave him the hug, you should've expected this to be how things would go. Man just wants some comfort.

- He's gonna try to bury his face into your neck, even if you're a lot shorter than him. He'll hurt his back hunching over, he doesn't care.

- He is constantly in a state of not wanting to be touched but also desperately needing a hug. It's like dealing with a cat.

- If you pet his hair or say anything comforting he will cry so hard he throws up I do not make the rules.

GROUP HUGS

- BAD IDEA.

- Franco and Coyle would rather die than hug each other. Gooseberry is going to make them be friendly whether they like it or not.

- She makes them hug and they're just whispering threats to each other.

- "Putting you in prison will be the nicest thing I do to you." "Good luck putting me in prison with a fuckin' incisor lodged in your shin."

- Gooseberry picks Coyle up when she hugs him and he freaks out. He doesn't know what to do so all he can do is Flail.

- On one hand, he's attracted to her. On the other hand, keep your hugs to yourself, woman!

- You know damn well Franco is requesting hugs from Gooseberry every single day.

- He is just a sad little boy and he needs a comforting hug from her. This is how he convinces her to hug him every single time (not like he has to do much convincing, she loves hugs).

- Futterman wants to turn him into a fine paste. He knows what that little shit is up to and he's not having it. Leave his daughter ALONE.

- He's stopped full-on crying after getting so many hugs from her, but he still gets a little teary-eyed. Especially when the head petting comes into play.

Ask me as much as you want! I will happily take 18 requests from the same person, I do not mind!!

Yessss keep asking me about the sillies please. I'm going to put them in any situation imaginable. Mentally pushing them down the stairs for yours and my entertainment.

COYLE

- Refuses to wear sunscreen, gets burnt to shit. The hat is the only thing that protects his bald head from burning. Has sunglasses tan lines.

- Won't admit to it, but he likes to pretend to be a shark when he's in the water. That's if you can get the battery off of him.

- Wears American flag swim trunks.

- Is the one that brings a fuck ton of sand back with him. It's in his shoes, in his swim trunks, even his hat. Don't ask.

- Steals Franco's beach toys and hides them in his trunks. Will not give them back.

- Strong swimmer, would attempt to surf, would absolutely eat shit. Franco would be cheering in the background.

- Did not pack a lunch, bitches and moans about being hungry the whole time until given food.

- Classic beach bully. Kicking sand in people's faces, splashing people who are sun bathing, just a menace.

- Gets pinched by a crab as soon as he steps onto the beach. He deserves it tbh.

MOTHER GOOSEBERRY

- Overpacks for the trip. Somehow forgets sunscreen. Has to go back for it because she burns easy.

- Futterman has the little stripe of sunscreen on his beak. Gotta stay protected from the sun, even if you're a goose puppet.

- Sandcastle master. Yet another art she's perfected. Decorates them with seashells she finds.

- Also the one that goes out of her way to collect pretty seashells. She's got a jar of them :)

- She loves to swim and be in the water. Futterman hisses like a cat as soon as she's within 5 feet of the water.

- Futterman has a floatie around his neck. This does not make him feel any better.

- She wears the biggest, floppiest sun hat and the cutest striped one piece. Futterman's hat has stripes on it to look like a bathing suit.

- Brings lunch for everybody, she made sandwiches! If you complain about her choice of sandwich ingredients she's dunking your head underwater.

- Futterman has to have copious amounts of sand shaken out of him before they go home. He's pissed.

FRANCO

- I feel like he'd like the beach a lot but not be able to swim for shit. Floaties, life jacket, he needs it all for his own safety.

- Purple swim trunks and a cute beach themed button up that Gooseberry got him. Also has a cute beach towel.

- Gooseberry tries to warn him to be careful about not losing his pacifier in the sand. He does not listen. Problems ensue. He blames Coyle and says he stole it.

- After he finds his pacifier (it got lost in the sand), he's still pissed bc it's covered in sand. How's a man supposed to enjoy the beach with a sand covered pacifier? The answer is he's not, he wants to go home now.

- Did not bring Lupara, he could've but he didn't want to get sand in her.

- Coyle keeps kicking over his sand castles, especially when he's almost done with them. He filled one with rocks in retaliation :)

- Him and Gooseberry build sandcastles together! She helps him decorate and make them pretty.

- Went to go in the water but his foot touched something squishy and it freaked him out.

- Absolutely believes that if you eat and then go swimming you'll drown. Tries to convince Coyle to eat then swim, and is pissed when he doesn't die.

Bonus! They all team up to bury Pusher in the sand up to the neck. He screams "not cool man, not cool!" the whole time. Nobody listens. They may have forgotten him there.