My eldest blonde babies =w=

FREEZERBABIES AU

Masterpost 1.0

What is Freezerbabies AU?

>Freezerbabies AU is a future AU with the main pairing as Freezerburn and Ladybug. Other Pairings are, Seamonkeys, Crosshares, (debating in Gingersnaps + Pyrrha)

Important History Bits

>After graduating, Weiss had made a deal with her father that she was free to go around with her team for five years. This was called the 5-year Hunt. The team went around becoming world renowned huntresses.

>Half-way through the 5 year hunt, the team split up because Blake found a small camp of Faunus that needed her help. Ruby stayed with her while Yang and Weiss moved on.

>During the 5-year Hunt, Weiss and Yang had been given a misinformed mission. There were more Grimm than anticipated, resulting in Weiss right arm getting cut off along with Yang’s hair. This gave yang three large scars across her back.

>Blake and Ruby founded an organization called the Black Rose Movement. Within a couple of years it had grown tremendously and Blake was given the title; Faunus Ambassador.

>Yang and Weiss proposed to each other the end of the hunt.

> After the Five Year Hunt Yang continued hunting as Weiss took over the SDC

FAMILY

Freezerburn Family

Yang Xiao Long - After finally settling down she decided to become a professor at Beacon Academy, specializing in hand-to-hand combat.

Weiss Schnee - President of the Schnee Dust Company.

Lila Schnee - A Lion Faunus, adopted from one of Blake’s Black Rose Orphan Camps. Has Wind as her semblance and uses a halberd/bow. She’s assertive and calculating but warm and nice. She is the heiress to SDC. [Bisexual, cisfemale. Saber’s Girlfriend.]

Xue Xiao Long - Twins with Zweiss. Troublemaker, and does pranks with his twin. Time Manipulation Semblance and uses a Canon/Sword. Hates Comics but loves collecting sunglasses. [Gay, cismale. Russet’s boyfriend.]

Weiss Schnee II (Zweiss) - Twins with Xue. Calm and usually bored, being related to the Xiao Longs tends to make everything else boring in comparison. Only wears T-shirts besides her battle outfit. Is called the Ice Prince at school Love Comics. [Demisexual, Genderfluid.]

LadyBug Family

Blake Belladonna - Ambassador of the Faunus. Leader of the Black Rose Movement.

Ruby Rose- World Renowned Huntress. Travels around with her wife and child.

Sable Alexis Belladonna Rose (Saber) - Cat Faunus with a traumatic past that resulted in their tail being cut off. Loves music and Fashion, is a nerd but hides it because they’re shy. Loves reading and is a little territorial (mostly with Lila). [Nonbinary. Lila’s Datemate.]

Crosshares Family

Coco Adel - Runs the most successful clothes company; Crosshares Inc. They also design specialized outfits for hunters and huntresses and faunus focused clothing. Partnered with SDC for Dust Lined Clothing.

Velvet Scarlatina - [Undiscussed]

Amber Adel - Rabbit Faunus,Takes over most of Crosshares Inc. Shy around girls, but badass most of the time. Actual Useless Lesbian. Almost always is asked to baby sit. Yang teases her a lot around girls.[Lesbian, cisfemale.]

Buffy Scarlatina - Rabbit Faunus, Part time huntress, part time model. [Asexual Aromantic, Cisfemale.]

Russet Scarlatine - Owns part of the Crosshares Inc. Part time hunter, only goes on hunts with his boyfriend; Xue. [Gay, cismale.]

Seamonkeys Family

Sun Wukong - [Undiscussed]

Neptune Vasillias - [Undiscussed]

Jupiter V. Wukong - Monkey Faunus. Absolutely loves Zweiss. Very athletic. [Trans MtF]

[FREEZERBABIES TAG]

Anymore questions, please just ask! I will try my best to answer them.

Roll with the Punches

“It’s so creepy.” Lila sighed, pulling her to knee up against her chest. Her Papa’s laughter rang out from the training ground when Xue went on a wild charge at her. A quick sidestep and a lazy kick made him eat dirt.

“Yeah, the twerps are pretty creepy. I honestly never expected them to survive to this age.” Saber said without looking up from the fashion magazine in their lap.

Lila laughed and bumped Saber’s shoulder with her own. “Hardy, har, har. No, I meant the way they look now that they’ve grown up a bit.”

Saber looked up, observing the twins with a critical eye. They hummed. “One looks like a grunge band groupie that escaped from a cowboy LARP meetup and the other refuses to wear anything but T-shirts outside of combat. Combine that with all of you being obsessed with fingerless gloves? Creepy is a nice way to put it.”

Lila rolled her eyes. Zweiss, swords sheathed in bright blue flames, dove at Yang, swinging quickly. She retreated, letting a kick fly over her head, before slashing one of her cutlasses towards Yang’s face. Drawing one hand up, Yang deflected the cutlass using Ember Celica -still in bracelet form, Lila noticed- and grabbed Zweiss’ arm. Lila grinned at her sister’s face as she went flying across the ring, squawking and flapping her arms. Xue, finally on his feet again after his tumble, went down again, cushioning his twin’s fall.

Lila smiled, listening to her Papa point out what the twin’s had done correctly and incorrectly over the course of the short fight. Lila couldn’t help feeling proud, her Papa really was a good teacher. Kind, even as she refused to ignore something that’d been done poorly. “Zee looks so much like Mother it’s kind of terrifying. You can see it in her eyes when she’s fighting, you know, that cold focus.”

“Okay, something’s wrong,” Saber said, closing the magazine and flopping it onto the notebook they’d been using to take notes. They mirrored Lila, pulling up the opposite leg from the edge they were sitting on and knocking their shoulder into hers. “What’s up?”

“Nothin’ but the great, blue sky,” Lila joked, “and Zweiss if she keeps overextending that close to Papa.”

Saber gave Lila a grumpy frown. Her throat closed up; that expression made Saber look so much like Blake. She’d seen her Aunt B make that face a million times. Normally at her wife or best friend. “Lila.”

“Xue’s got Papa’s jaw and chin. I hadn’t really noticed that until this morning. He was practicing shaving in the bathroom and I walked in to make fun of him and his stupid nonexistent peach fuzz, but all I could see was his stupid jawline. His eye color, too.”

“Lila.” Saber bumped her shoulder again, but didn’t move away this time. Lila drew both knees up to rest her chin on them. Below them, the twins were taking another beatdown. Swords spun and metal clashed, but there wasn’t any clinking or clanking of gears. Ember Celica remained dormant and the only fire on the field burned blue.

“Mother only ever gave me one sword lesson, you know,” Lila whispered.

Saber snickered. “You said you managed to light an entire clearing on fire and the only reason the neighbors didn’t call the fire department or the police was they’re so used to you all doing dumb stuff that they trust you know how to put out any sort of fire before it gets too serious.”

Lila didn’t laugh. “I tried gauntlets, too. I don’t have the muscle or the reach for it. Did Aunt Ruby ever tell you about my failed attempt at using a scythe?”

Saber cringed. They’d heard the story and been given a warning: never, never, never ever give Lila their weapon, even just to hold, in scythe form. Ever.

“Yeah, that’s about the right reaction. I think she’s forgiven me for nearly taking off her leg. Or at least, I hope she has.”

“She was more scared by you almost slicing your own throat, actually.” Sable felt more than saw Zweiss smacking into the wall below them. She stumbled a few feet away before hitting the ground. Xue soon followed. Yang helped them up and walked them through the best ways to prevent getting thrown again after making sure they hadn’t been hurt. Saber had hated this lesson. Lila could nearly dance through the air and had such a versatile style that she could recover any gaffe into an attack, but Saber’s thread had often gotten them caught and sent on an express flight into Yang’s hands more than once. “She was terrified she’d nearly killed her sister’s only non-evil kid.”

The two were quiet, letting the sun warm their backs. Zweiss had finally extinguished her flames and was watching Xue practice with his semblance one on one versus Yang. Saber knew he’d been having issues getting it to engage, but having a fist capable of flattening monsters of all sizes and types swinging at your head was an excellent incentive to fix that.

“They both care about you in their own little shit lord ways. I hope you know that, Sabe.” Saber looked over to see Lila ignoring the yelps of fear from her brother, cloud watching instead. Saber caught Zweiss’ eye, motioning to see if she wanted water. Zweiss was watching Xue and Yang carefully, but she took the time to give Saber a quick shake of her head and a tired smile.

“I know. Mom always says that they decided against having another kid once they figured out the twins had kinda claimed me as their other sibling and the two of us became best friends. Wish it’d kept those brats from pulling pranks on me, though.”

Lila laughed. “But that’s how you know they care. If they didn’t like you, they’d give you those fake polite smiles and small talk they use when they meet anyone from the board or school.”

“It’s still obnoxious,” Saber said. They sighed and turned to face Lila. “You’re dodging the question, Lila. What’s wrong?”

Yang set Zweiss and Xue up to practice their swordsmanship against each other, slowly walking around them and shouting out pointers over the colliding swords.

“I’m worried about leaving for combat school. Worried about leaving my baby brother and sister. What if they decide I’m not, you know, their older sister anymore once I’m not living in the same house as them? If your application goes through, they’ll be losing you, too, but you’re actually their cousin. Ditching you isn’t exactly a real possibility. I’m just the kid their parents brought home like a dumb kitten that’d been out in the rain too long.

“Seeing the twins turn into these little mini-me’s of Mother and Papa is weird and it’s driving in the point that I’m not actually theirs. It doesn’t help that Zee and I have been fighting over the company lately.”

Saber stared at Lila, even as Lila refused to make eye contact. They hadn’t know she felt like this. Hadn’t know that, when she was helping them fill out the application, study, and spar, she was scared she was about to lose her parents and siblings. “You complete dingus.”

Lila scowled and started growling. “What the hell, Sabe?”

“Your family adores you. So what if you don’t use the same weapons as them? Or that they look different? They decided you were their daughter, their sister like, a decade and a half ago. Trust me when I say, I’ve never seen them act like they regretted it even for a second. They’d never turn their backs on you.

“Whenever you’ve needed a hand or a hug, they’ve been right there. Whenever you needed them to back off, they have once they made sure you knew how much they loved you. They love you and they’re so proud of you. All of them; even the twins. I know because none of them ever shut up about how great you are.” Saber trailed off and let the silence fill the air between them, letting Lila think about what they’d said.

Yang, Xue, and Zweiss had moved on from swordfighting and semblance training to hand-to-hand combat. Yang had drilled the basics of self-defense into all the kids soon after the fight where Lila had saved Sable’s life; she’d taken the idea of making sure they were never completely defenseless ever again very seriously, but that didn’t give the twins any better chances at winning. Xue went flying from a textbook perfect toss. Yang continued to lecture through his panicked yelling. She turned to wave at Lila and Saber, grinning as warmly as summer’s sunshine while stepping backwards to let Zweiss zoom into a headlock.

“…When you say it like that, I guess I do kinda sound like a dingus,” Lila admitted reluctantly. Saber rolled their eyes.

“Now that you’ve acknowledged that I’m smarter than you, let’s go help the twins. Watching them lose this badly is just painful.” Saber stood up and dusted off their pants before offering Lila a hand.

“You claim to be smarter and then in the same sentence say, ‘Hey, let’s go pick a fight with a full-blown Huntress!’ That’s some seriously mixed messages there, Sabe,” Lila teased, taking Saber’s hand and pulling herself up. “Ten Lien says I can punch Papa before you.”

“You’re on.”

AHHHHHH

PRECIOUS CATWALK

Choose Your Weapon

Weiss paced in front of her youngest two children.

“Today is an important day.” She stopped and turned sharply to face them. “Today is the day we begin to train you in the use of proper weapons.”

“Our family has been trained in the noble art of sword fighting and fencing for generations to defend ourselves from any enemies that have foolishly attempted to attack us,” Weiss said.

“Then why does Lila use a halberd?” Xue asked. Zweiss nodded. Their mother shuddered at the memory of Lila’s first and only swordsmanship lesson.

(“How about a different weapon? I’m not quite sure a sword is the best idea,” Weiss said, staring at the burning forest they’d been practicing in.)

“We don’t talk about that,” she said. “On that note, we’re staying inside and away from anything flammable. You may use the tools Ruby let us borrow to modify your weapons as desired. Remember that this is a preliminary practice, so don’t worry about making it work right now.“

“Aye, aye, Mom,” Zweiss said. She threw up a lazy salute. Xue pulled his welding goggles onto his forehead. He’d been working out something with Ruby and Yang for the past few days; Weiss was sure they’d convinced him to not get too extravagant with whatever he decided to do.

“Now, please choose the sword you believe– why are you picking up a cutlass?”

“‘Cause it’s cool?” Zweiss shrugged, digging through the training weapons to find a second cutlass. Weiss stared at her daughter before rolling her eyes skywards. She didn’t know why she’d expected anything else.

The mother took a few minutes to help her daughter into a few of stances and forms that would probably keep her from stabbing herself or someone else on accident. Sounds of clattering from tools let Weiss know her son was taking the opportunity to modify a weapon to better suit him. She turned to congratulate him on his incentive when she noticed what he was doing.

Weiss dragged one hand down her face. “Xue, why does it look like you’re trying to attach a cannon to a massive broadsword?”

“‘Cause it’s cool?” Xue shrugged, Dust tool still in hand. He slipped his welding goggles on and went back to work.

Weiss threw her hands into the air. “You know what? I don’t care. At least you chose swords and nothing’s on fire.”

Zweiss snickered behind her mother. “Nothing’s on fire yet. Give us time.”

The kids grinned as Weiss facepalmed.

THIS IS JUST HOW I THOUGHT IT WOULD B

Xue and Zweiss Semblances

Time Maniulation and Pyrokinesis

[Patreon] | [Commission Info]

Weiss’ body screamed with anger: crossed arms ending in closed fists, feet shoulder width apart, a clenched jaw highlighting an almost visible scowl.

“Why aren’t you at the hospital?” Weiss snarled quietly. Her reflection in the mirror showed Yang the truth. Weiss wasn’t angry; she was scared.

Yang went back to rolling up the bloody ends of her shirt sleeves. “No need.”

Droplets of crimson swirled down the drain while Yang let the water heat up. She soaked a white towel in the stream of water before wringing it out and reaching up to wash off the crusted blood under her nose. She’d gotten lucky; it wasn’t broken even with all the blood. Aura would handle most of the swelling in a few hours and the bruising would likely be gone in the course of a few days.

“Give it to me,” Weiss commanded. She stepped into the bathroom, reaching with her left hand for the towel and capturing Yang’s chin in her right. Yang enjoyed the soothing cool of Weiss’ prosthetic, it was a nice contrast to the heat of her cuts. Weiss gently pulled Yang to face her and softly dabbed at the blood trails around the blonde’s nose and mouth. “I’m worried about your eye.”

Yang tried to give a huff of laughter only to remember why she was breathing shallowly. Medics at the Hunters’ Guild had said she’d cracked four when the Taijitu’s second head had nailed her. Hitting the ground afterwards didn’t help though it had given her some wicked bruises along her hip and arms. Lucky, they’d said, that she hadn’t actually broken anything. She was starting to wish for a different kind of luck, the kind that kept her from getting hurt in the first place. “Which one?”

Weiss’ scowl deepened. “Both I suppose. One’s swollen shut and the other’s still reacting to your semblance.”

She was quiet for a few moments, taking the time to clean away blood that’d matted Yang’s hair on either side of her face. Yang took the opportunity to rememorize her wife’s face.

No amount of sleep got rid of the dark circles under her eyes anymore. Wrinkles –crows’ feet at the corners of her eyes and permanent laugh lines that deepened when Weiss frowned– highlighted how dark they’d gotten in the few days Yang had been gone. The blonde wondered how grey Weiss’ hair would be if it wasn’t already so stark white. She wondered how soon their oldest would go grey from the stress of managing SDC; would Yang be the only blonde in the family or would her hair change color first and leave Lila the resident blonde?

She ruthlessly smothered thought that she might not live long enough to go grey.

“This has to stop,” Weiss whispered, her voice rough. She threw the towel into the sink hard enough to splatter pink droplets of water onto the mirror before slamming her hands down onto the marble and bowing her head. The water cut false lines across their reflections.

“Weiss…”

“No, Yang!” Weiss screamed, spinning to pin Yang with eyes a cold enough blue to freeze a volcano. She jabbed a finger at Yang’s sternum, but never connected to Yang’s relief. “You can’t keep doing this! Can’t keep coming home like this!”

Weiss stormed out of bathroom. Furious footsteps echoed down the hallway until the door to Weiss’ home office slammed shut. Yang stared at the empty doorway leading into the dark master bedroom. She turned to stare into the mirror again, picking up the towel and picking up where Weiss had left off.

————

“I heard Mom yell at you earlier.”

Yang jumped at the sudden interruption, only to groan and wrap an arm around her ribs. “Did you need to sneak up on me like that?”

Zweiss leaned onto the kitchen counter beside Yang, watching the leftovers from dinner spin in the microwave. “It was totally necessary.”

“That’s bull and you know it.” Yang slowly reached out, gently pulling her younger daughter into her less injured side. “What’s up, Zee? Want a midnight snack? Because you’ll have to make something yourself. I’m not sharing.”

Zweiss huffed a small laugh and leaned her head lightly on Yang’s shoulder. “Nah, Pops. It’s all yours.”

“Don’t call me ‘Pops’, you little whippersnapper,” Yang grumbled good naturedly. She rested her cheek on the top of Zweiss’ head. “Seriously though, why are you up?”

“I was wondering why you were sleeping down here,” Zweiss admitted, refusing to look away from the apparently riveting sight of spinning food.

“I can’t sleep laying down after doing damage to my ribs and I’m not about to keep your poor Mom awake because I keep having to readjust to sleep sitting up,” Yang explained.”And this way I can sneak the cookies I baked a few days ago out of my hiding spot and enjoy them.”

Zweiss snickered. “You mean in the empty flour bag in the top of the cabinet by the fridge? Because we went through those yesterday.”

“How on Remnant did you even find them?” Yang groused. She’d been looking forward to those cookies. “I hid them really well this time, too.”

“We have our ways,” Zweiss bragged haughtily.

Yang grinned. “How many did you lose to bribing Lila and Sable to help look?”

Zweiss cringed and mumbled something.

“What was that?” Yang asked sweetly, holding one hand up to her ear and grinning as wide as she could manage.

“I said check your hearing aid,” Zweiss teased before sighing. “Two freakin’ thirds of ‘em. I don’t even know how she convinced us to take that deal.”

Yang snorted. “She’s a natural businesswoman. May the world cower at her feet as she takes over all civilization.”

“Right?” Zweiss laughed. She yawned, then leaned up to give Yang a kiss on the cheek. “Well, nice as it was to brag about my awesome negotiation skills, I think I’m heading to bed. Night, Papa.”

Yang returned the sentiment and grabbed her food from the microwave, leaving one second on the clock to keep it from buzzing. She turned to eat at the counter, but she noticed a piece of paper that looked like some sort of business form. Zweiss must have left it behind, she figured.

Yang picked it up and skimmed through it. She turned to smile at the empty doorway leading into the dark living room, shaking her head at her bratty daughter. Keeping the paper in her left hand, she settled in to read the information on the position of a combat instructor at one of the local schools as she ate.

AHHHHHHHHH THIS IS PERFECT, I hope you don’t mind me changing Zweiss’s name as to not confuse everyone :’D

HRHRGHGRHgrR please write more if you can and want to I love waking up to these in my inbox

precious doodle of precious babies

Catastrophic Clumsiness

go to the big oak tree in bckyrd!!! dont tell ur sisters!!!

Xue stared at his scroll, rereading Sable’s message. He was never Sabe’s first choice. Never. Not since the time he managed to get his cousin in trouble with Zweiss by making her think they’d borrowed some of her stupid comics without permission. A wide grin grew across his face slowly.

The back door slammed shut behind him.

“Oh my Dust. How did this even happen?”

“Shut up. If I find a single picture of this, I will kill you slowly and painfully. I was practicing navigating through the trees.”

“Mom and Papa wouldn’t let you kill me.”

“You wanna bet? I don’t think Aunt Weiss has forgiven you for throwing brand new red socks in with her laundry.” Sable looked ridiculous. Glaring upside down lowered the effectiveness of the glare by at least forty five point three percent. Xue had measured. Being stuck in a tree by your boot and hanging upside down with your cape brushing the ground made it so unintimidating it was nearly cute. Sabe would just have to be glad Xue had quit laughing fairly quickly. “Go up there and try to push my boot out. Maybe that’ll get me out.”

Xue rolled his eyes before climbing up to the ‘V’ his cousin’s foot had gotten caught on. “Sure. Did just untying your laces not let you slip out of it? Because I’m not sure I’m strong enough if that didn’t work. If you could get out of it, we wouldn’t need to worry about hurting you while getting it unstuck.”

“You did try untying your boot, right?” He considered the problem while waiting for Sable’s answer. A crowbar could do it, but those were in the garage somewhere and Papa always knew when someone went in there without her. Butter might work, or at least it did in cartoons. He wasn’t sure they had that much butter. He wasn’t sure he wanted to explain to his parents why the butter had bark in it, either. Xue realized Sable hadn’t answered his question. “…I can’t believe I’m related to you.”

“Shut up. Be ready to catch me in case I fall.”

“Why is everyone laughing?”

Lila took one look at Sable before turning to face them, hiding Xue’s scroll behind her back. “Funny cat video.”

Sable glared at the three, unconvinced. “Uh…huh…Can I see it?”

“No! No, sorry, siblings only,” Zweiss cut in. Xue cringed at the glare on his cousin’s face. He desperately wished Saber was upside down again; the glares weren’t nearly as scary then.

“I told you I was going to kill you if you took any pictures,” Sable threatened, stalking into Lila’s bedroom.

“You never said anything about videotaping,” Xue pointed out, deciding to go for broke. He was dead anyways. Sable growled before lunging at him, only to be cut short by Lila stepping in between the two. Xue wondered how a girl that barely came up to his chin managed to be so scary as he tried to hide behind her.

“Here, delete it off Xue’s scroll. Would that make it better?” Lila bargained. Xue wanted to pout over the loss of the video –it wasn’t everyday Sable behaved like the dork they really were– but he knew to keep his mouth shut.

“I guess,” Saber grumbled. They reached for the scroll and fiddled with it, before handing it to Xue over Lila’s shoulder. Xue grabbed it gently before checking his deleted files folder. Gone there, too.

“Now that we’ve handled that, Mom and Papa said they’d be home late and so would Aunt Blake and Aunt Ruby, so we’re on our own for dinner. Sabe, go find a takeout menu. Whatever you want,” Lila said, nudging Sable out the door.

“I can’t believe you let Saber delete the video,” Xue grumbled. “I wanted to show the adults and make a ‘cat stuck up a tree’ joke.”

“Poor baby,” Lila mocked, reaching for her own scroll from where it was charging. She turned it off silent mode. “Thanks for sending me that message earlier, by the way.”

Xue cocked his head. He hadn’t sent her anything recently. When he wanted his big sister’s attention, he just bugged her until she couldn’t ignore him anymore. “Message?”

“Mmhmm. A video actually. I appreciate it. Not as much as all of our parents will, but still.” Lila left the room, a triumphant smirk fading into a pleased smile. Xue stared after her.

“Wha-? Bu-? When did she…?” He turned towards his twin, dumbfounded. “Does she scare you sometimes? Because she scares me sometimes.”

Zweiss just nodded, her eyes wide.

LMAO SABER WOULD TOTALLY DO THAT 

BLESS YOU

“You stole a child?!”

“I didn’t steal her, Weiss,” Yang whispered loudly, scowling.

Weiss stared at the child sleeping in her wife’s arms. Lion ears poked out of her hair. Too small at the moment for her head. Her spikey blonde hair, wispy still and nearly the exact shade of Yang’s, covered the majority of them. They’d grow and the girl would then grow into them. They marked her all the same as a child of the Black Rose Faunus Rights group. Blake and Ruby had a lot of explaining to do.

“You were only gone a couple of weeks! Pregnancy isn’t that quick last I checked!” Weiss yelled. The girl’s ears twitched and her face scrunched at the noise. Weiss immediately lowered her voice, whispering as loudly as she possibly could. “That means you stole a baby! Not just a baby, but a baby in your sister’s and best friend’s custody! Did you even stop to think?!”

“Look, I’ll explain in a bit, just hold her for a second, will you? I need to go fix up her bottle. She’ll be waking up hungry in a little bit,” Yang said. Weiss mirrored Yang; one step back for her step forward. Yang rolled her eyes. “No, see, you need to stand still for me to hand her to you.”

“I am not going to be an accomplice in this! I refuse! Put her back where you found her! Immediately!” Weiss didn’t know how to feel about Yang and the child’s matching scowls at her rising voice. The infant settled back down quickly, staying asleep; Weiss sighed in relief.

“Her name is Lila,” Yang said. She stepped towards Weiss again. “It’s short for Lilac. They found her at one of the camps in a blanket that color, so Blake decided to call her that.”

Yang walked until she was shoulder to shoulder with Weiss. “Incidentally, if she ever gets to name her own kid, she’ll probably just name them Asshole because let me tell you, babies are poop machines and with her naming scheme of ‘what’s the most obvious trait’ that’ll probably be her first pick.”

“You can suggest that to her yourself. I’m sure she’ll love it,” Weiss grumbled, crossing her arms to prevent Yang’s efforts to pass off the confirmed ‘poop machine’. “Stop trying to make me hold her! What if I hurt her?”

“You won’t hurt her, sweetheart. Just make sure you don’t drop her.” Weiss swallowed hard, but let Yang position the infant in her arms. “Aaaand, there we go. I’ll be right back. Let me know if she starts to wake up. Lil’ Lila here has been the most punctual of travel buddies, so she should be opening up those pretty eyes soon.”

“Yang, no, you ridiculous clod, get back here and take her back! Yang!” Weiss hissed as her wife walked into the kitchen. She could barely hear water running over the pounding in her ears.

“Oookay, okay, I can do this. You will not be winning this fight, ‘Lil’ Lila’. I am the CEO of Schnee Dust Company and oh my god, no, no, no, stop waking up, stop that immediately.” Lila’s face had scrunched up, heralding her awaking. A massive yawn let Weiss catch sight of toothless gums.

“Yaaaang? Yang, honey? I will apologize for everything I’ve said in the past five minutes if you get in here right this instant and take her away,” Weiss called quietly. No answer from the kitchen. Weiss watched in horror as Lila opened two teal eyes. “Oh no.”

Lila stared up at Weiss for a moment before pulling fists up to rub at her eyes. She started to make noises that Weiss could have sworn were chirps.

“Cool, huh? Blake was saying it’s normal and she’ll probably grow out of it by the time she’s a toddler. It’s how lion faunus call for their parents,” Yang said from over Weiss’ shoulder. “Come on, sit down and I’ll let you give her a bottle. She’ll need to be burped afterwards, but I can do that if you’d prefer.”

Yang gently guided Weiss over to couch, pushing her down to sit in the middle before joining her. “Here, keep the bottle inclined so that she can get the formula without getting a lot of air. She keeps trying to help hold it, but you should hold most of the weight. Yep, there you go.”

The three sat quietly. Yang gently ran her pointer finger up and down against Lila’s cheek. “Supposedly she’s a couple months old. No one’s quite sure because she came from nowhere. She was left at one of the camps with just a little blanket to her name. Well, she didn’t even really have a name. And they threw the blanket away. The basic theme for unknowns out that way is to give them color last names based on their eyes. Lila here is technically Lilac Aqua, which, by the way, is a godawful name.

“Blake let me take her for a bit to come meet you after I pretty much fell in love with the scamp. Now, I’ve got a big question for you. We’ve been talking about some important stuff for the past half year. Changing our lives in a major way. Wondering about kids. If you like Lila, we can get her a new name. A new family. We can give her us. Aaaand it looks like Lila’s finished her dinner, so let me get her burped really quick.”

“No! No, I can do it, just tell me how,” Weiss said. Yang forced her face into as neutral an expression as possible, then started Weiss firmly patting at Lila’s back. She leaned into the couch cushions to watch Weiss coo at Lila.

“You like her.”

“You kidnapped her.”

Yang took the rag she’d grabbed earlier and used it to wipe drool off Lila’s chin. “I didn’t kidnap her. And you didn’t say you don’t like her.”

“She’s cute, but…” Weiss’ voice trailed. She watched as Lila and Yang made faces at each other. Small fingers tried to wrap around her wrist as the two played, eventually settling into two arms wrapped around Weiss’ forearm.

Yang tried to talk around the tongue she’d stuck out at Lila. “Well, this obviously bothers you, so here. Hand her to me and Lila can be out of your hair by tomorrow morning. I’ll take her back to Blake.”

Weiss jumped, making Lila give a sputtery sound. “No! No, she’s fine where she is.”

“Uh huh…You know, it’s the craziest thing, but I did happen to pick up some adoption papers.” Weiss refused to look at Yang’s smug smile. Instead, she looked at Lila. Her currently too small ears (she pictured getting to watch Lila grow into them), gummy smiles (Weiss had heard stories about the horrors of teething for faunus), wispy blonde spikes (that reminded her so much of her wife’s unruly hair). She made a decision.

“Hand them over. And we’re shortening Lilac to Lila. Lilac Schnee sounds strange. Lila Schnee is better.” Weiss leaned forward to kiss Lila’s temple. Her affectionate action made the infant giggle. She ignored Yang beaming next to her.

“Awww. Lila Schnee, huh? Look! She even smiled!” Yang said. Ignoring that Lila was probably just mimicking her expression seemed like the smarter idea. She put her hands out towards Lila. “Here, let me hold her.”

“I know we’re married and I really do love you, but I will stab you if you try to take my daughter out of my arms right now.”

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