Natsu: Gray, we are trying to convince people. We’re not sickos! Why are you naked and rubbing crisco all over your body?
Gray: I was hot and I ran out of suntan lotion. Geez, saw-ree Mr. Sandwich Board Flamehead Man!
Lucy: I pick up books like you pick up beers!
Cana: Then you have a serious reading problem.
Rogue: Frosch is implanted with several high powerful tracking lacrima.
Yukino: How did that happen?
Rogue: I left them out in a bowl and he ate them.
Natsu: Get away from these pies, shitty fox!
Gray: Natsu, you said you took that fox back to the woods!
Natsu: I was getting around to it!
Natsu then beats the crap out the fox like crazy.
Lucy: Fighting over pie…Natsu is crazy.
Happy: Yeah, crazy like a fox!
Lucy: Sorry, my friend’s being such a pest.
Brandish: Oh, he’s not so bad. And your folks are great. They really seem to care about you.
Lucy: At least Natsu can’t follow us in here.
Natsu: (enters girls’ restroom while disguising as a girl) Hi, I’m Natasha, a new exchange mage from Lamia Scale guild. So what are we girls talking about today? Weekly Sorcerer Magazine? Boys? Controlling our cooties?
Lucy: Aaaargh! (runs away from the restroom while dragging Brandish outside)
Lucy: I’m glad you had a good day.
Natsu: You don’t sound glad.
Lucy: I’m not glad.
Natsu: But you said you were glad!
Lucy: You need to read between the lines.
Natsu: Why? There’s just white space there.
Silver: Gray, knock off that racket!
Gray: But Dad, I’m supposed to practice an hour a day!
Silver: I’ll practice you!
Gray: You’ll practice me? What does that mean? Is it supposed to be some sort of a threat? (walks away)
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!
Cana Alberona, probably
Natsu: Doughnut?
Lucy: No, thanks. Do you have any fruit?
Natsu: This has purple stuff inside. Purple is a fruit.
Natsu: Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, STOP IT!!
Gray: Look out!
Natsu: What?
Gray: Who the hell are you?
Natsu: (goes crazy and rushes towards Gray across the guild yard, shaking him) Natsu Dragneel!
Gray: What?
Natsu: Natsu Dragneel!
Gray: What are you talking about?
Natsu: Natsu…
Gray: You’re not making sense, man!
Natsu: Shut up! Natsu Dragneel!
Gray: I can’t understand a word you’re saying! You’re just babbling incoherently…
Natsu: (violently shakes Gray) My name is Natsu Dragneel! (gets restrained and dragged away by two cloaked figures) Oh, you’re a dead man, Gray. Oh, you’re dead. YOU’RE DEAD, GRAY!!!
Natsu: Although he did send us this thank you card.
Lucy: (reads aloud) Lucy Heartfilia, Gray Fullbuster, and Erza Scarlet. Natsu, this doesn’t have your name and Happy on it.
(Natsu snatches the card and looks at it. His eyes are narrowed in rage as ominous music plays in background. Lucy, Happy, Gray, and Erza look quite frightened.)
Natsu: (in deep yet monotonous tone) You people, would you step outside for a second?
Lucy and co. run out of the Fairy Tail guild.
Natsu: (stands up, takes a deep breath, then shouts) F**K!!!!!
(Natsu’s profanity is obscured by a loud organ note, scaring the passing bystanders near the guild, even the entire Magnolia. Shocked bystanders look at Fairy Tail guild.)
Gray: Dear Lord, that’s the loudest profanity I ever heard!
Natsu: You people, how would you like to go to Ryuzetsu Land?
Lucy and Gray: Meh!
Natsu: But, the TV gave me impression that-
Gray: We said Meh!
Lucy: M-E-H. Meh!
Natsu: You can do it, Sting! You can do it, Sting! Help each other out, that’ll be our motto. You can do it, Sting! You can do it, Sting!
Wendy: Make this spare, I’ll give you free gelato.
Gajeel: Get back to my place, where I will get you blotto!
Natsu: Doumo arigatou, Mister robotto!
All: You can do it, Sting! You can do…
Sting: Uh, everyone…I made the spare. We won!
Gray: These missions suck!
Erza: Gray, where do you pick up words like that?
Natsu: (on ball-shaped communication lacrima) Yeah, Sting. That Lamia Scale guild sure did suck last night! They just plain sucked. I’ve seen guilds suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
Gray and Erza: Natsu, watch your mouth!
Natsu: I gotta go. My damn wiener friends are listening.
Lucy: It worked! They’re all dead.
Gray: Well, except for chubsy-ubsy over there.
(The mages gasp as they see the gigantic mascot tempts Natsu with the giant donut.)
Natsu: (drools) Mmm…sprinkles.
Lucy: Natsu, stop looking!
Gray: Don’t make us poke your eyes out, Flamebrain! (drags Natsu away)
Natsu: (groans)
Natsu: (opens the door and sees the angry mascot) Hello? Yes? Oh, it’s you. Uh, if you’re looking for that donut of yours, umm…Gray has it. Go smash open his house. (shuts the door as the mascot leaves) He came to life. Good for him.
(Loud smashing, then loud thumping and the doorbell.)
Natsu: (opens the door and sees the angry mascot again)
Gray: (runs past) Help me Lord!
Natsu: I told you! Gray has it! Or Gajeel. Go kill Gajeel.
Lucy: Natsu, give him the donut! Once he has it, it will be the end of all this horror!
Natsu: Well, okay. If it will end horror…
Natsu: (disguises his voice) Hello, I have a certificate for a free erotic photo session.
Jason: Oh, yes. Your name?
Natsu: Eh…Batsu…Dragneel.
Jason: Cool! All right, Mr. Dragneel.
Natsu: (in normal voice) Aargh! Who told you!?
Jason: Don’t worry. These photos are perfectly legal. Many husbands use them as a romantic gift for their wives.
Natsu: Uh, you’re not going to ask me to pose nude, are you?
Jason: Well, yes. Unless you have some issues with revealing your body.
Natsu: Well, I don’t. But, the block association seems to. They wanted a traditional Santa Claus.
Later, Natsu surprises Gray with his collection of sexy photos.
Gray: Woo woo. Look at those silk pillows. It’s like the set of some high-class porno film.
Natsu: Heh heh. No, no. It’s our basement.
Gray: Mmm…hold on! That’s our basement?
Natsu: Yeah, so? Come on. More kissing?
Gray: It looks so elegant. And all it takes are some lace curtains and a beaded lampshade. (takes Natsu by the hand and leads him towards the basement) You’ve got to show me exactly what you did.
Natsu: But I was going to score.
Gray: No, you weren’t.