Jellal: I have a condition.
Ultear: What condition?
Jellal: It's called caring too much and it's incurable!
Lisanna: Would you fuck your clone?
Natsu: Yes!
Gajeel: ...no.
Elfman: I don't want to fuck my clone because that would be gay sex, and I'm not gay.
Bixlow: I'm not gay, but I would totally fuck my clone.
Laxus: I'm gay, but I still don't want to fuck my clone. That's gross and weird.
Jellal: I don't want to fuck my clone because my self-loathing is THAT strong.
Loke: I'd totally fuck my clone because I want to know if I'm good in bed.
Cana: I'd fuck my clone because who would know better how to fuck me than ME?
Lucy: I'd do all sorts of weird things to my clone I'd be too embarrassed to ask anyone else.
Mirajane: To be honest, fucking my clone has always been my fantasy.
Gray: It's basically the same as masturbating, right? So no big deal!
Erza: It's not the same as that; it'd be like having asex with your twin. Wrong and bad!
Rogue: I would not have sex with my clone because what if my clone is EVIL?!
Sting: I'd probably get it on with a bunch of clones at once. That's how pro-clone fucking I am.
Lisanna: ...
Lisanna: You guys are weird and frankly I'm a little concerned.
Erza: Hey, Jellal. What are you up to?
Jellal: Erza! Hi! I'm just cleaning the house and reflecting on my mistakes. Should only take another seven hours or so!
Erza: So when are you free?
Jellal: I'm forever imprisoned in my own personal hell so I am never truely "free", but I don't really have plans all next week except for Monday.
Jellal: You get cute when you get angry.
Erza: (glares at him)
Jellal: But not when you get angry with me.
Erza: D'you ever wonder why we’re here?
Jellal: It’s one of life’s great mysteries, isn’t it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some… cosmic coincidence? Or is there really a God, watching everything, you know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don’t know man, but it keeps me up at night.
Erza: …What? I mean why are we out here?
Jellal: Oh. Uhhhhh. Yeah
I'm permanently emotionally damaged, but it's chill, I'm chill.
Jellal Fernandes, probably
If Erza ever goes Evil
Jellal: Your mother never would have wanted this!
Erza: Wow you clearly never met my mother.
Erza: What are you thinking about?
Jellal: (second guessing every choice I've made in my entire life) sports.
Zeref: Tag what you're majoring in/intend on majoring in.
Gray: Respecting Women
Rogue: bat man
Frosch: minecraft
Warrod: fuckin weed
Mavis: W
Erza: Criminal justice and psychology
Jellal: i'm terrified that i'll lock myself into an interest that i'll no longer be passionate about in a few years like all the other areas of study i've pursued over my life
Natsu: Minecraft
Happy: minecraft as well
Erza: Now, are you ready to redeem yourself?
Jellal: Absolutely. My days of breaking into places and stealing shit are done.
Jellal: What do you want me to do?
Erza: I want you to break into a place and steal some shit.
Jellal: My job here is done.
Erza: But you didn't do anything.
On the phone
Erza: (in the bath, drinking wine relaxing as the phone rings) Hello?
Meredy: Hey Erza, it's me. What are you doing?
Erza: (lying) I'm, uh, packing. Just getting ready for our trip to Alvarez.
Meredy: (is also in a bath with wine) Hold on a second. That's my other line. (switches lines) Hello?
Jellal: Meredy, it's Jellal. I hope I didn't catch you at a bad time.
Meredy: Nope. I'm just at the computer. (is totally not at the computer) Uh, so what are you up to right now?
Jellal: (also taking a bath while drinking wine) I'm taking a bubble bath.
Meredy: Hold on (thinks she switches line back to Erza) Hey, Erza, Jellal is calling me from a bubble bath.
Jellal: ...
Jellal: It's still me, Meredy.
Ultear: if i could turn back time…to the good old daaa-aays
Jellal: Ultear!
Ultear: What? I was just singing a song.
Ultear: Jellal, what you're suggesting is an elaborate, long-term lie that requires tremendous commitment. A nice guy like you can't pull that off.
Jellal: Sure I can.
Ultear: Okay, lie to me and Meredy right now.
Jellal: Okay... I have a fiance.
Meredy: What's your fiance's name?
Jellal: Okay... I don't have a fiance.
Jellal: So, you’re just going to forgive me?
Erza: Well, either that, or I wait until you’re lulled into a sense of security, maybe days, maybe months, and then when you least expect it, exact my revenge.
Jellal: ♥
Erza: 3>
Erza: Wait how do I turn the 3
Jellal: Omfg
Jellal:
Jellal: What the fuck