August: I saw the body. You killed that man.
Dimaria: No I didn’t!
August: Dimaria, premeditated murder is one thing, but I will not have lying in this castle.
Zeref: Get in the Halloween spirit and make a ghost!
Brandish: That's called murder and I heard somewhere that it was illegal.
God Serena: ATTENTION EVERYONE! The rumors are true! I AM Handsome AND hilarious at the SAME TIME. Yes it's a lot to take in. Take your time. My beauty is timeless.
Spriggan Twelve: ...
Brandish: Pretty sure my soulmate is a bag of sour gummy worms.
Dimaria: I just ate a whole bag of those, no joke.
Brandish: You piece of fucking shit that was the love of my life.
Invel: God Serena, can't you at least just stand up straight?!
God Serena: Invel, please, I can't do anything straight.
Ajeel: Hey, Zeref, you're obscenely old, right?
Zeref: Yeah.
Ajeel: Do you know any super-ancient, lost to the ages, archaic, olden-times swears?
Zeref: Uh... well... there is one...
Dimaria: I want to hear it!
Zeref: The Elder Swear. You must never repeat it to anyone.
Dimaria: We won't!
Zeref: Here it is.
Zeref: Your mother is a ****ing **** lorem ipsum ***** adminim venium **** tragulah **** **** hippopotamus **** Republican ****ing Daniel Radcliffe **** with a bucket of **** in a castle far away, where no one can hear you **** soup **** witha bucket of **** Mickey Mouse **** and a stick of dynamite **** magical **** alakazam!
Ajeel and Dimaria: ... w o a h ...
Dimaria: are you a cuddler?
Wahl: I AM A MACHINE OF DEATH AND DESTRUC- yeah I'm a cuddler.
Invel: Everyone, we do not stop until nightfall.
Brandish: What about breakfast?
Invel: You already had it.
Brandish: We had one, yes. What about second breakfast.
Invel: ...
Dimaria: I don't think he knows about second breakfast, Randi.
Brandish: What about elevenses? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper?
Brandish: He knows about them, doesn't he?
Dimaria: I wouldn't count on it.
Wahl: Are you classified as human?
Rahkeid: (sarcastically) Negative. I am a meat popsicle.
Science fact- The world around you is made up of protons, neutrons, morons, and electrons
Invel Yura, probably
Larcade: Dad, I think there is a monster under my bed
Zeref: I am almost 100% percent certain there isn't a monster under your bed. *peaks under bed*
Bradman: Hello
Zeref and Larcade: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Invel: You've heard of sweet summer child,
Invel: Now get ready for
Invel: Salty winter adult
Brandish: I'm not interested in Fairy Heart. I'm interested in REVENGE!
Eileen: Now you're talking. I can't support cheating, but revenge is something I can really get behind.
Wahl: I'd rather die than work with you!
God Serena: But Wahl, we're already dead.
Brandish: For some reason Ajeel thinks that I know a lot about flowers, so whenever he asks me what the name of a flower is I give him the name of a rapper.
(Scene cuts to Ajeel)
Ajeel: Look! These ludacrises are growing so nicely!
Invel: (when he was in charge while Zeref was gone) I wish my reign had lasted longer, but I'm happy with the decisions I made and the people I fired.
Invel: I'd like everybody's attention. Christmas is canceled.
God Serena: You can't cancel a holiday.
Invel: Keep it up, God Serena, and you'll lose New Year's.
God Serena: What does that mean?
Invel: Brandish, take New Year's away from God Serena.