Lucy: It’s all my fault.
Gray: No, it’s mine.
Erza: No, both of you. It’s my fault.
Natsu: Yeah, that’s true. It’s their faults.
Natsu: What would Jellal say if I left his best girl behind?
Erza: He would say “Do as Erza says.”.
Natsu: Wahoo!
Erza: Stop wahooing and help
Natsu: I guess I’m to tough to cry…
Erza: Just today you were crying about snakes!
Natsu: THEY DON’T HAVE ANY ARMS!!!
Natsu: Excuse me? Who made Erza the boss of the group?
Erza: You did.
Happy: You said, “Erza should be the boss."
Lucy: And then you said, "Let’s vote” and it was unanimous.
Gray: And then you made her this plaque that said “Boss of Us”.
Wendy: You put little sparkles on it.
Natsu: …Valid points.
My mom would always x out people in her yearbook and write 'Deceased' when one of her high school classmates died. We often found it morbid. Eileen wanted to be the last one living. She wanted to win.
Erza Scarlet, probably
Lisanna: Would you fuck your clone?
Natsu: Yes!
Gajeel: ...no.
Elfman: I don't want to fuck my clone because that would be gay sex, and I'm not gay.
Bixlow: I'm not gay, but I would totally fuck my clone.
Laxus: I'm gay, but I still don't want to fuck my clone. That's gross and weird.
Jellal: I don't want to fuck my clone because my self-loathing is THAT strong.
Loke: I'd totally fuck my clone because I want to know if I'm good in bed.
Cana: I'd fuck my clone because who would know better how to fuck me than ME?
Lucy: I'd do all sorts of weird things to my clone I'd be too embarrassed to ask anyone else.
Mirajane: To be honest, fucking my clone has always been my fantasy.
Gray: It's basically the same as masturbating, right? So no big deal!
Erza: It's not the same as that; it'd be like having asex with your twin. Wrong and bad!
Rogue: I would not have sex with my clone because what if my clone is EVIL?!
Sting: I'd probably get it on with a bunch of clones at once. That's how pro-clone fucking I am.
Lisanna: ...
Lisanna: You guys are weird and frankly I'm a little concerned.
Erza: Hey, Jellal. What are you up to?
Jellal: Erza! Hi! I'm just cleaning the house and reflecting on my mistakes. Should only take another seven hours or so!
Erza: So when are you free?
Jellal: I'm forever imprisoned in my own personal hell so I am never truely "free", but I don't really have plans all next week except for Monday.
Erza: Natsu, you need to calm down.
Natsu: Calm down? I don't need to calm down! You need to calm UP AND GET ON MY LEVEL
For once I would like to walk out of a bar!
Erza Scarlet, probably
Jellal: You get cute when you get angry.
Erza: (glares at him)
Jellal: But not when you get angry with me.
Erza: I’m sorry Eileen can’t come to the phone right now.
Erza: Why?
Erza: Because she’s ….
Eileen: Honey, I’m home!
Erza: Mom, you completely ruined the moment!
Erza: (to Natsu) I am offended. I am angry. I am very tired. So I’m gonna take a nap, but when I wake up, oh, you are in for it.
[4 hours later]
Erza: How dare you!
Erza: D'you ever wonder why we’re here?
Jellal: It’s one of life’s great mysteries, isn’t it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some… cosmic coincidence? Or is there really a God, watching everything, you know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don’t know man, but it keeps me up at night.
Erza: …What? I mean why are we out here?
Jellal: Oh. Uhhhhh. Yeah
Erza: You're a hot mess, you know that?
Natsu: At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks, and glitter.
Ichiya: Do you have a significant other?
Erza: I'm significant by myself.