your hometown + the last food you ate is your cryptid name

for example: i am the manhattan cheerio

I AM THE PENSACOLA EGG

THE ALICANTE AVOCADO

New subculture:

Cowgoth. We dress like cowboys but in all black and we don’t listen to anything but classic country songs about murder.

This is just the Johnny Cash fandom.

wlw culture is having a crush on all the female villains of your childhood

wow we all really were gay af for shego from kim possible weren’t we

‘Over the Garden Wall’, or, as I like to call it, ‘Dante’s Inferno: Kidz Bop Edition’

These kids are living my dream.

.*Gif Credit to @http://squeaky-speak-kronk-squeakin.tumblr.com/*

The Emperor’s New Groove Drinking Game

For any shots you need, we suggest our Kuzco’s Poison shot.

Basic Rules:

Drink when:

- There is a voice over or breaking of the 4th wall.

- Kronk messes everything up.

- Every time someone says “Kuzco-topia”.

- Every time a door opens.

- Every time a llama-shaped object appears.

- Every time a character knows something they shouldn’t.

- Kuzco transforms.

- “Wrong lever Kronk!!!”

- Whenever Ezma commands Kronk to do something.

- Every time Ezma makes a plan.

-  "Oh, right. The poison. The poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco, Kuzco’s poison. That poison?“

- Kronk talks to his inner demon and inner angel.

- Every time Bucky the Squirrel appears.

Waterfall when:

- Kuzco and Ezma open alternate doors at restaurant.

- Ezma is described as "scary beyond all belief”.

- Every time someone falls.

Rating: 3/10

Hardcore Rules:

Drink when:

- Every time someone says “Kuzco”.

- Something doesn’t go as planned.

- Every time physics doesn’t apply.

- Every time a llama appears.

- Every time Kuzco is a jerk to Pacha.

Finish your drink or take a shot when:

- The chimp and the bug appear.

-  "Oh, right. The poison. The poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco, Kuzco’s poison. That poison?“

Waterfall when:

- During Kronk’s Theme Song.

- During jump rope scenes

SPECIAL: You are allowed to skip a drink, if and only if, you dance every time Kuzco does.

Rating: 7/10

“Excellent. A few drops in his drink, and then I’ll propose a toast, and he’ll be dead before desert.”

-Ezma

“Millennials are so entitled"

Actually, the ‘you’re welcome’/’no problem’ issue is simply a linguistics misunderstanding. Older ppl tend to say you’re welcome, younger ppl tend to say no problem. This is because for older people the act of helping or assiating someone is seen as a task that is not expected of them, but is them doing extra, so it’s saying ‘I accept your thanks because I know I deserve it.’

‘No problem’, however, is used because younger people feel not only that helping or assisting someone is a given and expected, but also that it should be stressed that you’re need for help was no burden to them (even if it was).

Basically, older people think help is a gift you give, younger people think help is an expectation required of them.

DAMN STRAIT.

Basic Millennial complaint: “I want shelter and economic security.” Some bitter old man: “WHAT THE FUCK? WHO TOLD YOU THAT YOU DESERVE ANYTHING? THANK ME WHEN YOU BAG MY GROCERIES FOR ME, PEON.”

[x]

wednesday night mood

old fashioned breakcore

My son off the shits!!

I was standing by Harry Potter’s deathbed. Only, when he died, he immediately transformed into a vampire and took off at super speed. Naturally, I was a vampire as well; I followed him into the forest, where he was waiting for me with a large crowd so that he could race me. The whistle was blown, and the race began. I was easily matching his speed, but Potter produced a baton out of thin air and began twirling it while facing me with a smug grin, presumably to antagonize me. I pulled out my own baton and twirled it at him. We angrily twirled our batons at each other.

Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way wrote this

smfh pathetic

Re-fucking-diculous

Smh

“I guess I’ll have a new daughter” I’m so glad there’s women like this in the world because initially I really thought she would have no where to stay

Praying for this poor girl whoever shit is. Her mom is an idiot.

Beautiful parenting. This is how you do it!

heres an update

https://www.gofundme.com/ReemaDavis

she’s got a gofund me right now, not all heros wear capes.

^^^^^ boost this shit!

watching all of trump’s cronies turning on each other would be hilarious if they weren’t supposed to be running the country right now. It’s kind of like overhearing a ridiculous slap fight in the cockpit of the airplane you’re in mid-flight

I would post about the latest thing but instead I’m just gonna reblog this every time

i once was so angry that my dad didn’t buy me a soda that i told the police about it

let me elaborate

i was like 4 and it was summer, and i walked up to a policeman on the street and tugged on his uniform to catch his attention and very angrily went “excuse me sir, i am VERY hot and my dad doesn’t want to buy me a soda!!!”

and he held back the laughter and with a very serious tone told my dad “sir, can’t you see the young lady needs a drink?“ 

and i just stood there feeling like the most powerful fucking child in the universe

He’s just mad because he can’t acquire all the apple juice that I’m acquiring. (x)

pack your bags nerds we’re moving to Antarctica

the only lgbt friendly continent is a frozen tundra that can barely sustain human life

penguins can’t be homophobic it’s scientifically impossible

remember how malia obama never tweeted incriminating emails of herself colluding with foreign powers. i miss that.

No she just smoked weed while being guarded by federal agents. But please. Keep acting like either side has a right to the moral high ground.

You’re really fucking stupid if you think a teenager smoking weed is comparable to a grown adult colluding with foreign powers to shift the election.