Mackerel-Snapping Papist

Baby #2 on the way, due in July! Please keep our family in your prayers. 🙏

Please continue to keep all of us in your prayers. Unfortunately, sweet little Nicholas John came early at 20 weeks on March 5th and passed away shortly after.

want to have kids but not badly enough (so far) to overcome my crippling fear of pregnancy/childbirth caused by strong pain avoidance instinct and body dysmorphia. hate being me.

Look into Made for This Birth/Mary Haseltine and Bridget Teyler!

Honestly, I've had severe body dysmorphia since early childhood, and while going through a cognitive behavioral therapy program a few years ago helped a lot too, nothing has helped more than my pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding!

It's made me feel so incredibly strong and confident and thankful for my body, knowing God created me with the uniquely profound ability to bring new life into the world. It was so amazing watching my little girl growing inside me on the ultrasounds and then feeling her as the pregnancy progressed. I was so amazed my body was able to allow this little tiny person to become a full size baby that my body would then be able to nourish with milk specifically designed to give her all the nutrition she needs. Literally a lot of newborns poop very little because breast milk is so perfect it gives them exactly what they need so there's no waste for them to expel! A lot of doctors call it liquid gold!

The birth was hard, I won't lie. But John 16:21 hit me harder: "When a woman is in labor, she has pain, because her hour has come. But when her child is born, she no longer remembers the anguish because of the joy of having brought a human being into the world." When she was placed on my chest, I couldn't think of anything but how beautiful she was and how I'd die for her. And I was able to unite with Jesus so intimately throughout the whole process but especially the birth, understanding just a little more clearly what he means when he says, "This is my body given up for you."

I prayed to Mary about the kind of man I wanted to marry one day, and wouldn't you know it God dropped him right in my lap a few months later. We didn't end up marrying for another 5ish years, but that was more because we were young and long distance than anything else. Mary and Joseph know about good husbands, they're good to talk to about it and they'll pray for you.

Open your heart up to God completely and rely on Him first. Then let His will speak to you. During Lent 2020 and the quarantine, I let this happen to me while I was longing to get back to Mass and the Eucharist. I centered my life on God and found great friends in praying to the saints. It got me out of a nearly four year toxic relationship, after which I asked God to lead me towards whatever kind of life would draw me closer to Him.

July 2020, I decided to join a Catholic singles group on Facebook, just to be open to finding someone new. I honestly didn't think it would lead anywhere. All I posted on there were some wholesome memes and laugh reacted to some of the memes other people were sharing. Beginning of August, the most attractive guy on there who I'd been getting a pretty big crush on sends me a friend request... And then a message... And then he wants to video chat. We met up for the first time in September when he flew halfway across the country to see me.

We prayed a lot together while we were dating and waited for clear signs from God, which we both received. We got engaged May 2021, married November 2021, and are expecting our first baby in September.

Surrender your heart to God first and desire nothing apart from Him and His will. He will guide you and give you peace. 🙏

Viola Striata (Striped Cream Violet)

Viola Pubescens (Downy Yellow Violet)

Cornus Florida (Flowering Dogwood)

Malus Sylvestris (European Crab Apple)

Euphorbia Cyparrisias (Cypress Spurge)

Fragaria Virginiana (Wild Strawberry, Mountain Strawberry)

Viola Sororia (Common Blue Violet)

Photographed Spring 2021