Too many Fandoms

I AM SO PROUD OF THEM BUT THIS MADE ME SNORT

I'm sorry

Bucky: I should have been the one to kill Hitler. Instead I'm the 107 year old who put mouthwash on his penis.

Sam: YOU DID WHAT?

Bucky: You heard me. Remember after the cookout last year?

Sam: You mean the first time you slept with my sister? Yeah, I obviously remember that, asshole.

Bucky: Well, I was in the bathroom right before... you know? Just to clean up a bit because-

Sam: *glares*

Bucky: Doesn't matter... Anyway, I saw the mouthwash and for some reason my brain went oh that tastes way better than soap. And... I had a point. The smart part of my brain wasn't there to tell me I was being a fuckhead.

Sam: Because that part doesn't exist.

Bucky: Actually it was bec- Never mind. Yes, it doesn't exist let's go with that one so we both survive this conversation. Anyway, I decided to do it like aftershave. I just-

Sam: Spare me the details, Buck.

Bucky: Alright. So then I'd done it but there were two things I hadn't thought through. The first one was the sensation. It was like burning and cold at the same time. I don't know if you've ever fucked a microwave during a blizzard but... it's unusual.

Sam: I'm scared of what the other thing was.

Bucky: Oh, you should be because the other thing I hadn't thought through was that... she was gonna notice ...because that's not what penises taste like.

Sam: