toastnotcooked

People really seem to want to believe that fundamentally bad person disorder is a real thing that exists and is worth being concerned about

READER BEWEADER YOU’RE IN FOR A SCEADER

Literally every other social media site: I hope my post gets so many likes and is seen by so many people

Tumblr: I make 6 note flop posts for my transgender mutuals and 6 note flop posts for my transgender mutuals only. If I go viral I will cry

Aw man :(

Whimpers and sobs. Whatever I've done to you all I'm sorry please don't do this to me

Remembering at the start of Junior Year when Aelwyn was revealed to be a Middle School Teacher in spite of being 19 and not even a high school graduate and everyone was like 'wait that's completely nuts how does that make any sense' and then it turned out that she blackmailed her way into a job she was unqualified for and uninterested in and ended up fucking out of in the middle of a school year (maybe without actually telling anyone she was quitting) to be a substitute pirate librarian and cat mom, to which the common consensus was 'yeah okay that tracks'.

complaining about high elves and sharing inside job gossip. the sisters ever actually

Sometimes the world is just silly and strange and you happen to say the exact right thing to the right person.

When I was working at the sex shop we had this one toy by Jimmy Jane. They gave store reps one as a freebie which was genius because we instantly converted to believers after being initially very skeptical.

The toys were small and pretty cute, but no one thought they’d pack much of a punch. The best of the lot looked like one of the little Totoros, two little pink ears sticking up from a rounded body. Unfortunately most customers would say it looked like a tooth.

So one day I’m showing it to a man looking for a gift for his girlfriend. “It has a motor in each ear, and it can pass the vibration back and forth between them. Fully submersible, it’s rechargeable, and really powerful for it size.”

He was just looking at it in intently.

“Are you going to say it looks like a tooth?”

He laughed, “Yes.”

“I get it. Personally I always thought it looks more like a cute rabbit, I’m always tempted to draw googly eyes on it.”

His expression froze and I stopped laughing, wondering what I could have said that so thoroughly checked him. Without a word he slowly reached down into his pocket and pulled something out.

“I think these are for you.”

If he’d had different vibes I wouldn’t have reached out my hand to accept his offering but up to that moment he’d just seemed like an awkward engineer type. I opened my hand to look at what he’d given me.

Two nicely cutout handmade cardboard googly eyes.

I lost it. “Why do you have these?!” I gasped between bursts of laughter.

“I made them! I always keep some on me, because you never know when you’ll see an opportunity to add eyes to something! But I think you should have these.”

I was absolutely delighted and after I rang him up for the toy I decided to tape them to our scanner. I couldn’t put them on the display toy but every time I used the scanner I’d laugh all over again about saying just the right thing to make someone pull handmade googly eyes out of his pocket.

Psych 3x12

*in a rap battle* i wonder who your mother could have been if she never had you

all my friends should quit their jobs/drop out of school so they can PLAY WITH ME

just got my d20 calendar and this spread of trackers moon haven?????? i will cry. @sydsketch your art means the world to me (i apologize my phone camera doesn’t do it justice)

You are seven when you watch your mother wither away with grief. 

You run out into the fields the day she dies. They let you go, knowing you will not go far, not good Eowyn, not the obedient second child of Eomund and Theodwyn. They think you are crying, and maybe you are, but mostly you are smiting the ground with your feet and slashing your hands at the gently waving stalks of grass. 

You smite the ground. You must wonder, with the memories of your father’s war stories still ringing in your tiny ears. You must wonder, with the adrenaline still high in your veins from a pretend sword fight with your brother in the stables that morning, the adrenaline now warring with grief. You must wonder how a woman of a house so very brave could wither like an ailing flower. 

You swear you will never make such useless choices.

They will call you the names of flowers all your days, Eowyn, White Lady of Ithilien, though you do not know this yet. You are so determined not to be your mother. It will give you comfort that they never call you withered, drooping, delicate. They call you frosted. They compare you to a lily, death’s flower, and don’t even realize what they say. When they call you a flower, they describe one with a core of brittle steel. 

They send you and Eomer to your uncle the king. Theoden is young and strong, welcomes you with warm, open arms. You are unconvinced. His son Theodred is your cousin, and his laugh is the loudest thing you will ever have the privilege to hear, until you meet a pair of hobbits. You do not smile back until Theodred challenges you to a duel with wooden swords in the stables. 

Before you go to sleep that night, aching with more than bruises in this unfamiliar bedroom, you stare up at the unknown ceiling. You map the contours of the room. A good shieldmaiden knows her surroundings.

You make a promise in the dark, pledging all seven of your years against the long oath of your life. Your mother withered, but you will break. You swear it. When you go to the ground, food for white daisies, you will be beaten into it. You hold that promise to your chest. You have so few things these days that you can claim, but this, this is yours.

“Read More (Ao3)”

I was feeling agitated and artblocked yesterday so I decided to give my brain a rest by watching TV and then the next thing I knew these were in front of me

i love characters who are always like fear not, i shall take care of this problem for you….. by sacrificing myself!! and everyone else is like i swear to god if you pull this shit again i’ll kill you

(April 12th 2024)

No medical confirmation or psychological evaluation necessary. The law will be active by the 1st of November this year.

First names can also be changed while changing gender. One all inclusive package with minimum effort.

Here's the AP article about it for anyone who wants it

[ID: The Destiel meme, edited to say, in the first panel, "I love you", and in the second, "Today Germany passed a law that allows everyone to change their gender by simply going to the registry and telling them to change it." End ID]

I need people outside of Germany to understand how huge this is!

bringing back this old joke in honor of this ask