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Arcan

@toaarcan / toaarcan.tumblr.com

I'm just here for the food.
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reblogged
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memewhore

the “i am from russia” was a warning

I asked a taxi driver in Bucharest to take the quickest route to the airport. 10 minutes later we're doing 120kph the wrong way done the street car tracks when another taxi tried to pass us and dude just floors it. Never spoke a word, smoked 9 cigarettes over the 30 minute ride, never took off his sunglasses and blasting opera all the way. I look at it as paying 15€ plús tip to lose all fear of death.

the "i am from russia" was both a warning and a promise, and one that would weirdly put me at ease about the situation.

how could you leave this in the tags

second hand story but one I know is true, but my dad worked as a taxi driver in Monteray in the 90s. Now, it’s important to note that there’s a racing event in town, so lots of people are coming through. My dad just so happens to get a group of people in town for the race in his car.

Because taxi’s are not like uber and you are basically expected to make conversation, my dad asks if these guys are in town for the races. They say yeah, so my dad asks “are you participating or are you watching?”

“Participating”

“Well then, I don’t like you”

They ask why, and my dad explains that they’re doing what he’s always wanted to do. Well, this small guy right behind my dad makes the mistake of saying “Well, show us what you got.”

My 25 year old father, takes this as a challenge. Now, his driving is still scary to this day, so imagine how it was when he was 25. He fucking floors it down the highway, and there is an exit they need to take to get to the bar the guys are going. This exit has hedges on the drivers side, so my dad slows down to 60, takes this turn on 2 wheels. All the guy behind him see’s is these bushes coming at him, so he does the rational thing and he screams like a little girl.

When they arrive at the bar, everyone piles out, and then one guy stops, turns around and motions for my dad to roll down the window. He tosses a $5 at my dad and says “I’ve never heard anybody make Christian scream like that.”

My dad had Christian Fittipaldi and his pit crew in his car, and made him scream like a little bitch. It’s my all time favorite story.

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kaijuno

Steve From “Blue’s Clues” Just Checked In On “The Kids He Raised” And Gave Them A Safe Space To Offload After Donald Trump’s Election Victory.

Interestingly, Steve doesn’t even speak in the 59-second video, but appears to give viewers a comforting presence as he enters the outdoors shot and “offers them” a hot drink.

And many of the comments thanked Steve for offering them this safe space, with one person writing: “As a trans man, I felt this to my core. I took the breath with you then started bawling. Thank you.”

“The man who is a staple of my childhood didn’t say a single word and it brought me to tears. Steve, thank you. I don’t know where we go from here,” somebody else wrote.

Another popular comment reads: “He didn’t say A WORD and said everything at the same time. This man should be guarded at all costs.”

“Neither of my dads checked in on me today. But you did Steve. Thank you,” one more acknowledged.

“So much responsibility on Steve’s hands to make sure we are okay. We need to make sure he’s doing okay too. I mean I’m not doing great, but he’s still looking after the kids he raised,” somebody else added.

While another concluded: “I bet you didn’t think you’d still be raising us all these years later, Steve, but thank you for still being here.”

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midnight-shy

I met Steve at Comic Con a couple years ago. I told him, “thank you for being there for me as a kid when it felt like no one else was. He responded “no, thank you for all your help; without you, I’d still be trying to figure out what Blue wanted for her snack!” and I had to try very hard not to cry, he was so nice.

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skipppppy

Since we’ve all been rewatching Gravity Falls bc of the Book of Bill I decided to compile my favourite joke of each episode in the show. Here’s season 1. Enjoy

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Have fun in the war dumbass I’ll be at home fucking military wives

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unbossed

Damn. Good way to get your fucking windows kicked in

shut the fuck up and raise my son bootlicker

All fun and games until someone with 3 confirmed kills shows up at your doorstep with a baseball bat

im not at my house tho, im at yours with your wife

But he’s got shooters all over the world 🌎 even when he’s away

just shot a load in his wife

You ungrateful asshole. My bf might be fighting for your freedom and you’re here mocking him for keeping your pathetic ass safe from the threats of the world. If a war comes to our country, we’re not saving you, you dumbass ungrateful fuck up of a human being.

Your bf is fighting for oil and killing civilians and probably cheating on you he’s a scumbag, which is why I just fucked his mom to make a better son

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heardbook

The fool taunts the hungry dogs but the dogs have their day and the fool becomes a feast

your girl boutta be the feast soon as you get deployed boot boy

World Heritage Post

cpineau1973

Who ever was the first person to post this is the biggest piece of shit in the world. You’re an amoral ASSHOLE!!!!!

Hotmeat89 you are a disgrace you don’t deserve to be called an American! You don’t even have the right to call yourself a MAN!

I don’t call myself a man but your wife still calls me to fuck

happy veterans day

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reblogged

Batman: Wayne Family Adventures #138 - "Riposte" (2024)

written by CRC Payne art by Starbite, Vadynea, & Jace Camedon
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cleolinda

Satirical news publication The Onion has bought Infowars, the media organisation headed by right-wing conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, for an undisclosed price at a court-ordered auction.
The Onion said that the bid was secured with the backing of families of victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, who won a $1.5bn (£1.18bn) defamation lawsuit against Jones for spreading false rumours about the massacre.
[…] The Onion plans to rebuild the website and feature well-known internet humour writers and content creators.
“We are planning on making it a very funny, very stupid website,” said Ben Collins, a former NBC News journalist who is chief executive of The Onion’s parent company, in a statement.
The website also posted a jokey article, saying that Infowars “has shown an unswerving commitment to manufacturing anger and radicalizing the most vulnerable members of society".

[…] No price would be too high for such a cornucopia of malleable assets and minds. And yet, in a stroke of good fortune, a formidable special interest group has outwitted the hapless owner of InfoWars (a forgettable man with an already-forgotten name) and forced him to sell it at a steep bargain: less than one trillion dollars.
Make no mistake: This is a coup for our company and a well-deserved victory for multinational elites the world over.
What’s next for InfoWars remains a live issue. The excess funds initially allocated for the purchase will be reinvested into our philanthropic efforts that include business school scholarships for promising cult leaders, a charity that donates elections to at-risk third world dictators, and a new pro bono program pairing orphans with stable factory jobs at no cost to the factories.
As for the vitamins and supplements, we are halting their sale immediately. Utilitarian logic dictates that if we can extend even one CEO’s life by 10 minutes, diluting these miracle elixirs for public consumption is an unethical waste. Instead, we plan to collect the entire stock of the InfoWars warehouses into a large vat and boil the contents down into a single candy bar–sized omnivitamin that one executive (I will not name names) may eat in order to increase his power and perhaps become immortal.
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reblogged

Batman: Wayne Family Adventures #138 - "Riposte" (2024)

written by CRC Payne art by Starbite, Vadynea, & Jace Camedon
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reblogged

THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN

I’VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND THIS FOR SEVEN YEARS

DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO ?????

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pinkifingers

That last fatal scream tho

THE TERROR IN HIS SCREAM OH GOSH

i’m crying

WAAA-

I will always reblog this on the off chance some other poor soul has been searching for it

IT’S BACK

HOYL SHIT ITS B A CK

IT’S BACK?? ON MY DASH?

re-blogging again xD

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lionowlonao3

what was that we were just saying about still having posts circulating from ridiculous numbers of years ago? 😂

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peptothesi

I feel like it’s a duty to reblog such a natural treasure

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bogleech

All those accounts though….

yeah okay, ill reblog that!

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mabe1pines

how is trump alive?? like hes rlly gone thru his whole life like That …. and no one has ever just fuckin decked him?? gave him the ole one two? knocked his lights out??? incredible

sorry to improve your day without much notice but 

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glyxiebear

NEVERMIND REBLOGGING AGAIN BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT WE ALL NEED

This is cathartic

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bogleech

People just becoming politically aware are never going to appreciate just how fucking hated this guy was before he was in politics. He was hated for over half a century. Everyone aware of him mocked and derided him as a cheating, greedy corporate asshole and mindless bully and this is by far not the only time anyone clocked his ass but it is probably one of the only times it got caught on video. Hatred of him was bipartisan all my life and it just goes to show how easily right wingers can be suckered by anyone who kisses their collective asshole on their pet agendas.

Never forget that the reason Trump seems like an over-the-top stupidly villainous antagonist from a 90s movie is because half of them were based on Trump and making fun of him.

The reason The Simpsons and a handful of other comedies ‘predicted’ the Trump presidency was because he kept saying he wanted to run and nobody could think of anything funnier than a President Trump.

Seeing tr*mp just get fucking decked instantly made my night better

aw fuck yeah

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