13x03 | 15x09

I’ve been screaming about this for days please scream with me

THIS LITERALLY HAPPENED:

x x x 

Reminder that, no matter what happens now, this actually happened

"Still dead inside over Cas, but you do you" has basically been Dean throughout season 13 so far and I'm ????? that anyone can miss this and not understand WHY.

He literally SCREAMED it.

I don’t even know what to think about Sam’s reaction anymore. I’m still not sure he gets it. How can he not though? 

Idk but I’ve never jumped on the ‘Sam knows Dean better than Dean knows himself’ boat and I am here sipping my tea

Jensen’s face makes me feel feels btw

How dare he

I am a mere small fragile human

I hope you don’t mind expanding on your tags but that’s exactly my thought

#i’ve seen some people say how supportive and understanding sam got during dean’s speech and i’m just like where????#i mean maybe we will see a change next ep but#i’ve also never liked the sam knows dean better than dean himself thing#i don’t get where that ever came from but it’s been around for years#the fact that dean had to explain why he’s feeling and acting the way he is proofs that sam does not know him that well#plus dean is canonically incredibly self aware#he does not need his emotions explained to him#disclaimer: this is not against sam but rather like certain ideas about sam that i don’t think are supported by canon at all

I think it comes from fanfiction and the fairly widespread (and probably subconscious, hopefully) idea is that the straight person knows the queer person’s feelings and experiences better than the queer person themselves. How many times in fic Sam knows about queer terminology and culture better than Dean who is convinced he’s straight and has no idea about anything? (Maybe that happens less in more recent fic, I don’t know, I haven’t been reading much fic in a while). Thus came the idea that Sam knows Dean’s feelings for Cas while Dean doesn’t. I am not saying that everyone who wrote “Sam knows” fic is guilty of this (it has become a trope at this point), but the general phenomenon has roots in this.

I don’t mind at all :)

And yeah, that could be it. Which is also super confusing, like where does canon support the idea that Sam knows more about queer things than Dean?? All canon does is prove the opposite. It reminds me of the whole Dean Is Bad At Feelings/Is emotionally repressed idea that I’ve seen expressed in fandom so often for years now when actually canon constantly proves the opposite (@thejabberwock made an entire really poignant gifset/meta series about that misconception that Dean is bad at feelings that I unfortunately can’t link to right now because I’m on mobile and about to go to sleep, but I’d really recommend checking it out)

Tbh the main “sammy knows” thing for me is from 2x11.

The “Dean you’re butch and overcompensating” scene.

Then it just went from there, we had “strictly into dick” etc.

So yeah the bisexuality seems like a clear (ish) one and Cas is… well look if WE can see Cas is not just Dean’s buddy and Sam has any kind of brain… but then Sam is really not good with understanding other people’s feelings if they don’t mirror his own so… idk.

But yeah I just wanted to point out some of the Sammy knows concepts aren’t out of nowhere :)

Also, 3.07:

Sam: Yeah, I’ve been following you around my entire life! I mean, I’ve been looking up to you since I was four, Dean. Studying you, trying to be just like my big brother. So yeah, I know you. Better than anyone else in the entire world. And this is exactly how you act when you’re terrified. And, I mean, I can’t blame you. It’s just… He’s got a great line on Performing Dean. He focused so hard on imitating the surface layer he can’t see past it. But Dean is REALLY good at hiding stuff, letting “the story become the story” because it was easier (or safer) than letting Sam know the truth.  Or just because John ordered him to (hello, 9.07!)

And despite Performing Dean removing his mask over the last few seasons, Sam’s desperately trying to stick it back on, because he has no idea what to make of Dean without it.

Sam has just assumed that Dean was most upset by losing Mary, which is why he leads with that. Because that’s what SAM is most upset by. He’s clearly upset about Cas’ death too, and Dean saying, “Maybe you can forget about that,” gets to him, but I get the feeling he expected Dean to argue about Mary’s disappearance not being on Jack, and when Dean goes straight to, “What about Cas?” he’s surprised, despite Dean being VERY DAMN CLEAR that they are not anywhere near on the same page about Jack and what happened. Sam’s NEVER known as much about Dean as he thinks he has.

This is just more agreeing with the above so don’t mind me. Even as far back as in 2.15 we see that the brothers don’t see each other the same way as the audience gets to see them. It should surprise no one that as much as they claim to know each other so well, they don’t necessarily. (see Sam’s surprise that Dean rode Larry, or the cucumber water–his brother still comes out of nowhere with things and catches him off guard). A lot of Sam’s “I know you” is as true as “I don’t wear shorts” and it’s a whack across the knuckles with a newspaper as if to say that even right there in the dialogue, in the text, just because someone says something doesn’t make it true. 

In my opinion Sam went into that argument with a plan (perhaps he’s trying psychology methods from his reference material on Dean as much as on Jack). He planned to confront him about how he’s treating Jack, and he was ready for it to be about Mary (because that’s logical: Jack opened the portal, Mary went through it), but he had no plan when it came to Cas (because that’s emotional, it’s not actually Jack who stabbed Cas in the back). He had no reason to believe that outburst was coming, and no way to respond to it when it did.

I mentioned it a couple days ago at the end of a bunch of blahblahblah but Sam and Dean choose their emotional alignment when they get into that car with Cas and Mary in 12.09. 

“Sam and Dean choose their emotional alignment when they get into that car with Cas and Mary in 12.09.”

I’m dead thanks for killing me

What I love is that over the years there's been lots of Sammy Knows about certain things but more recently there's tons of Sammy Has No Fucking Clue About The Really Big Stuff Or Stuff He Doesn't Want To Know So He Ignores It And Hopes It Goes Away.

Hes been such a kid to Dean as a parent. How may of us stick our fingers in our ears when our parents talk about sex with their first partner or leave the room when they bring up their wild college days.

But now that Sam isn't Dean's child anymore? Now that dynamic has shifted to equal brothers who can know each other fully and support each other through these difficult situations and talk openly?

I can't WAIT to see how this pans out...

Hey anti sitting in my inbox! Nice to meet you! I don’t want to publish your ask ‘cause I’m not up to indulging in your hate while we’re here dancing and cheering over Cas’ return.

lbr I can’t explain why Dean is grieving this extremely without mentioning Cas at all. Cas was written ALL OVER DEAN’S GRIEF the moment he was stabbed in 12x23. Every single abrupt decision, every single barbed retort, every single instance where Dean’s festering grief peeks through the cracks of his broken mind and takes itself out on Sam and especially Jack—Cas is the reason Dean’s off the rails.

This is Dean’s ROCK BOTTOM, NO NORMAL. I mean, why else do you see these significant narrative markers that continue to highlight Dean vs Sam?

The stark contrast is there. Sam’s ABLE to move past Cas’ death. Dean CAN’T.

This scene reveals—in one breathless explosive stroke—the mentally taxing burden Dean’s been carrying around on his shoulders: Cas’ death. He blames Jack, the mirror of Dean’s self-loathing, powerful (MoC, Demon!Dean), putrid, undeserving soul.

Dean ultimately blames himself; his love for Cas is what killed him in the end.

It’s impossible to put Sam in Dean’s place. It’s impossible to picture him reacting so violently, so bitterly, because he doesn’t fit into Dean’s grief narrative.

An angst-studded grief narrative that yells “Cas comes first! Cas this! Cas that! WHAT ABOUT CAS? Let’s kill the freak! Cas died ‘cause of him!”

Sam isn’t the one who wants to kill Jack. Dean is.

Sam isn’t the one who lost faith in everything. Dean is.

Sam isn’t spilling the mere existence of the supernatural—the true nature of their job—to normal civilians. Dean is.

Sam isn’t telling victims right-off-the-bat that their loved ones are dead. Dean is.

Sam isn’t in love with Cas. Dean is.

And that same fierce love—alongside listless grief—induced Jack to bring Cas back, both for Dean and for himself.

Yep. This. This final scene of 13x03 just validated all our meta for the last 3 episodes that they were grieving differently, that Sam was focused on Mary and Jack and Dean just couldn’t get past losing Cas, that it was different for him for *reasons* and Cas is his main focus throughout it ALL . . .

Not that it even needed meta-ing you know, cos it was so obvious to anyone with eyes, but we did it anyway cos it’s fun and well...

cas/misha’s huge hands on that floor (sorry)

Don’t be sorry because…👀👀👀

the floor is deep and abiding love for dean winchester

the floor is emotional growth and personal development for Dean and Sam and Jack and Cas

Profound bond.

Remember when we thought it might be subtle???

Bahahaha subtle what? I think they forgot that term over the summer.