Sam Winchester in camo (likely war) clothes is such an aesthetic.
IKR! I’m also super intrigued by this, I’m assuming its all to do with the AU world as they’re all in camo and Jim tweeted about filming with Jensen.
More Winchester bros in army get up... I mean from a watching from afar hotness level, awesome sure! but from a meta level nooooooo let my boys be sooooooft!!! :p
I’m laughing at having just written a performing!Dean is coming to an end soon meta last night thanks to likely smashing the TV after the childhood callback Scooby episode:
- Just like the bunker wall and grenade launcher last season. Before and after which we’ve seen a ton more recently about who Dean really is underneath said facade, in exposition through all of 12x11, that he admits he totally sublimates in 12x05, movie nights with Cas, loving Dory, riding Larry etc.
Only about an hour or so before Jensen’s (fucking finally) confirmation of performing!Dean existing (obviously in order for said facade to come down and reveal who he really is instead of who he’s not) comment:
I mean it’s almost like the show is making total fucking sense and leading to exactly where we expect it to be leading to or something.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I think we’re seeing a lot of honesty from Dean this season, as opposed to the “performing dean” that we usually get. It’s easy to say that Sam doesn’t really have a clue when it comes to Dean and Cas’ relationship. However, maybe from his point of view he’s so desperate to at least get Dean to act like he’s okay. I’m sure seeing Dean so miserable is hurting him too. I’m just trying to think of a reason why he’s doing this, because I refuse to believe he’s not aware of Dean and Cas’ relationship
Yeah I can see that too and it is kind of what I hope for as I said today, idk of you saw and you’re agreeing or not, but yeah it’s kind of an insult to Sam to say he doesn’t know but then as @postmodernmulticoloredcloak pointed out Dabb’s own episodes often do use the Sammy doesn’t know thing…
Dean x honesty is what we expected after he literally used the grenade launcher to blow down the metaphorical walls which were textually CALLED metaphorical walls by Toni, all along to a -no to the blaze of glory ending we shall get our happy ending- and bi’ flag colours and everything that went on in that moment…
So yay for Dean but hmm and let’s for Sam regarding this!
a e s t h e t i c
EXCUSE ME, WHERE IS DEAN WINCHESTER, THE ICONIC BI™, IN THE BUNKER’S BISEXUAL WARNING LIGHTS
boom just made this post perfect
THANK YOU
i know you and many other meta writers have mentioned this, but how/where are the bisexual colors when dean was blowing the bunker down? like it must be too dark or i must be blind bc i just can't see it
Ah my friend this is my JAMMMMMM!!!! *rubs hands together*
x I mean it’s easier to see if you watch the whole thing rather than just a gif but this is the idea - the lights are decidedly pink/purple/blue… you really can’t see it? Is your screen brightness up high enough? It’s blatant to me even when I was watching a crappy streamed version the first time!
I literally just broke down laughing about it on the bi!dean podcast, enjoy that when you listen to it :p
I wrote about it in my main 12x22 episode review:
Essentially, the grenade launcher = performing!Dean metaphor and there are bi!flag colours in the background whilst Dean knocks the metaphorical walls down with the metaphorical grenade launcher. It’s brilliant.
The MoL HQ lights are brightly pinky-purple, I mean honestly what self respecting 1950s MoL guy chose this for the bunker instead of the usual red? Pleaaaase, just saying.
Also, they used the bi!dean flag in the 12x17 deleted scene about the nuns story and lindsay lohan, linking a bisexual actor to a story about being hidden under a literal facade (the nuns habit) and ending up emancipating oneself from that…
*such accident*
*much coincidence*
Hi! Quick question: Is there any meta or just thoughts by you or anyone else about the "seating arrangement" in the car in 12x09? I was looking but didn't really find anything. Thank you!
You mean how Sam and Mary sit in the front and Dean lets his mom drive and sits in the back with Cas? so they could do the “sad face of anticipated loss” and “quizzical what the fuck did you do now Dean?” exchange?
I haven't seen anything long and deep, just general flailing that wtf is this as it’s not a usual choice for “I always drive unless theres a good reason not to Dean Winchester” around the fact that he knew he was going to die (was always going to give up his life for Sam at this point) and wanted to spend it in the back with Cas for *reasons*, allowing his mom to take the wheel and Sam to sit up front...
Literally taking the backseat before he did so metaphorically in 12x22....
I don't think I’ve seen really long other meta on it though but those are my immediate thoughts!
SPN Hiatus Creations | week fourteen ↳ “I hate you.. and I love you.”
I woke up with the startling revelation-to-self that after all that hassle about “hurr blurr drinking vegetable water doesn’t make you gay” that I have absolute 100% clarity that I can say, “shooting a grenade launcher absolutely definitely makes you gay and I’m not the one making the rules” and that is why I have been sobbing while typing “RIP Dean Winchester” on any and all posts about him finally getting to shoot the thing off
I’ve been staring at this for an hour, because dammit it’s true.
Dean spent the entire season wanting to fire that thing. He’d wanted to haul it out to blow up nazis in 12.05, but Sam reminded him they needed stealth not kabooms, even if they did kinda-sorta regret it for a hot minute when they were captured.
When he’d lost most of his memories in 12.11 Sam’s note reminded him that the grenade launcher was probably not the right tool to use against a couple of witches, knowing that even without his memories, Dean would probably default to wanting to pick up that grenade launcher even if it wasn’t the right tool for this particular job. None of that stopped him from being a little disappointed that again something stopped him from being able to blow stuff up.
In 12.20 he had no real reason to haul it out for the case, but it became the centerpiece of the conversation he had, bonding with a canonically gay character over how “major” the Impala is, and Dean offering to give Max a tour of the trunk… I mean… that’s the phrase Dean used… “you want the tour?” and then they go straight (pffft straight) for the grenade launcher in the trunk…
In 12.22, Sam, Dean, and Toni are essentially entombed in the bunker as the air slowly runs out. They’re buried underground in a twisted version of their own legacy, their only salvation on the outside of this concrete box in the ground. The spell they attempt to break through the warding holding them prisoner in this tomb requires them to “purify” themselves in another “virginity” rite, but even in that “pure” state it’s not enough to counter the trappings holding them captive. They need DRASTIC MEASURES to blow up the walls holding them back now as they’re literally suffocating to death.
Dean stands alone in that room, Toni and Sam having left to protect themselves from the blast. He alone fires the rocket at that concrete wall he and Sam had been ineffectively chipping away at. Of course there are consequences to blasting the wall away. The explosion itself burned through most of the rest of the oxygen in the bunker, and Dean himself suffered some injuries either from the initial blast or his escape to freedom up that hidden stairwell that collapsed behind him.
But he did escape.
And pulled the override switch to restore life to the bunker, saving Sam (and Toni) in the process.
The grenade launcher set him free, but it was painful. And yet… as soon as he finds Cas again, Cas instantly heals those wounds. Cas made him whole again.
So you can pry this metaphor from my cold, dead hands. I will defend this castle to the end.
RIP Dean Winchester
Dean Winchester is dead, long live Dean Winchester - I’ve written something today about the fact that Dean getting out of the bunker is a metaphorical birth, the bunker being a womb that has become a prison (in a parallel to Mary, their actual mother, becoming their jailer because of the BMoL).
Dean facing Mary in the scene in Mary’s mind is basically foreshadowed by Dean getting free from the ‘toxic womb’ that the bunker had become, giving birth to himself (=being his own parent after Mary’s death left him virtually parentless) and then saving Sam (=being Sam’s parent).
Basically Dean uses the grenade launcher NOT as a weapon of destruction/offense (like Ketch, toxic masculinity, uses it for) but as a tool of birth, of creation, of femininity. He takes the grenade launcher and uses it to be his own mother, in a way. He gives birth to himself and then delivers Sam, too, by letting the oxygen reach him. He uses a blatantly phallic weapon as a symbol for self-motherhood, if it makes sense. Always the balance of masculinity and femininity…
The grenade launcher becomes the symbol of Dean exercising AGENCY over his role as his own+Sam’s parent that his parents’ faults pushed on him. He was robbed of agency by Mary’s deal and death and by John’s breakdown, but now he ACKNOWLEDGES it, and that basically helps him CONTROL it. He has control over himself and his life now, that very control that Mary and John took away from him.
He shoots a grenade to his trauma, his loss, his abuse. He truly gets out of the bunker reborn - able to confront Mary, to tell her the painful truth, to be EMOTIONALLY MATURE and in control of his feelings.
Dean Winchester is dead and this Dean Winchester is a person who has AGENCY over his own emotional sphere and his relationship with his past. Able to look at his four-year-old self as an ADULT who is very much the same soft child, but he’s no longer a victim. He’s a survivor.
And this Dean Winchester is going to go through more loss and trauma because his life sucks and 0.003 seconds later the man he loves is already dead, but he’s going to face the future AS THIS PERSON who’s come out from the toxic womb of his past.
Unscripted moment! But it came from the person responsible for the safety on set, who (rightly) demanded goggles. They even went out of their way to find old-fashioned ones.
The bunker’s pink flashing lights will be the death of me in hellatus I swear to chuck.
This is a gorgeous gifset!
But I still cannot look at any of these scenes without getting distracted by the PINK/PURPLE flashing lights and all the blue everywhere. lmao.
Well, when I was new, I wrote a whole post about this, about how early episodes but especially 12x11 foreshadowed that Performing!Dean was going to be deconstructed by the end of the season... Fans self.
The death of Performing!Dean in this episode was BEAUTIFUL. It was EXQUISITE. I couldn't have asked for MORE!
I literally grabbed and punched @amwritingmeta in the leg I don't know how many times as I paused it to point and shout.
So, the grenade launcher = performing!Dean metaphor. We had hoped and boy did they deliver! Did anyone else notice, while Dean was *ahem* knocking down the seemingly unpenetrable physical walls, that, maybe it was my weird link, but it seemed to me that the flashing ‘red’ lights in the MoL bunker were decidedly pinky-purpley in colour rather than standard alarm bells red and the flashlights glowed on the blue side of white... (the MoL HQ lights are also brightly pinky-purple to keep the theme going, I mean honestly what self respecting 1950s MoL guy chose this for the bunker instead of the usual red? Please!) Just saying.
“It wasn't long ago I thought we had it made. We had Cas back, we had mom back. I mean it wasn't perfect but still...”. This is it. Dean’s facade has been coming down all season, but at this point now, he just doesn’t see the point in holding it up anymore.
And what does Sam do? HE OPENS UP TO DEAN. He tells Dean how he feels, the reasons why he followed the MoL - that it was “easier than leading”, that he made a mistake. This enables Dean to be truthful himself, in the end, now. Again, they have had many times to reflect on their own deaths but this is another time similar to 11x23 where he can really reflect on what he has lost, and now what is that? Cas and Mary.
Dean uses the grenade launcher, that he’s been dying to do since forever, blows down the impenetrable seeming wall, saves the day. How meta do we need to go? It’s BLATANT. The choice in the colour of the lights, the dialogue, his feelings... the walls are Dean’s facade and the grenade launcher is his way of breaking it down. YES. This has been building all season and much prior to this other meta writers have said that he grenade launcher is associated with Dean’s hidden side, his bisexuality, Destiel etc... this is meta gold, THIS is a meta aspect Dabb was talking about. Toni even then parallels the tearing down of Mary’s mental wall with Dean’s physical use of the grenade launcher, just moments after. It is so well put together :D
Also, I have long believed that the bunker had to go. It represents too much the MoL side of things and the whole ‘living below ground’ thing is way too underground / metaphorically bad. For me they need a real, healthy home which is in between Bobby’s hunter house and the MoL bunker. Hopefully they will find a nice modern MoL home with kit but that isn't so hidden above ground somewhere next season to take over and make their own :D
“Real hunting isn’t just about killing, it’s about doing whats right... I want you to follow me”. We have wanted this for Sam all season, the MoL story fits his personal arc so well (so did Eileen, still bitter), this is Sam’s endgame. Sam said just moments earlier that he didn’t want to lead, but now he is, because it is necessary and because he is good at it. I believe he will now see that this is what he wants and will work towards this for his endgame.
This then leads to...
Dean lets Sam go, the dialogue is amazing. “You’re ready for this... you got this” paralleled with an actual mom/daughter conversation between Jody and Alex.
Dean literally talks to Sam like a parent letting their child go off to college and I had to pause this for a long long moment to process and scream “they’re actually going there!” not even knowing what was coming next... man...
Then comes the Mary / Dean scene.
This was always going to be what Mary led to for Dean’s arc. After Amara had started this addressing of Dean’s facade in season 11 and Mary is basically an extension of Amara this season re: Dean (in the same way that she still has to influence Sam’s arc re: Lucifer, that is for next season). I LOVED how BLATANT and textual they made this, the actual lack of subtext because it was all in the ACTUAL TEXT!
Firstly, Dean considers letting Toni go, which I had expected, to show the difference between our boys (morality) and the MoL as monsters.
Then... “Dad was just a shell...I had to be a father and a mother to keep him safe, and that wasnt fair, and I couldnt do it, and you wanna know what that was like? They killed the girl that he loved, he got possessed by Lucifer, they tortured him in hell and he lost his soul...But I forgive you, for everything.” MY HEART!
Ok, yeah, they did the thing, they brought Jess up 30 mins before killing the guy that Dean loves after not mentioning her for.... A DECADE? And paralleling one of the few scenes we ever saw her in with Dean/Cas too? After we already had the parallel with Dean seeing Cas when driving along, same as Sam did? So, only the scene of Sam and Jess in the bar and the scene where Dean actually meets her haven't been paralleled now with Dean/Cas? I’M LIVING!
But seriously. The rest is exactly what we, the audience needed to understand Dean and to show casual viewers Dean’s inner angst in order to understand the facade coming down, this is exactly what Dean needed. He has come full circle, this is the start of the culmination of the end of Performing!Dean (which Jensen has no said at Jibcon will be furthered in season 13!).
Dean actually TELLS Mary in his mind that he hates her, but that he loves her. That he had to be Sam’s mother and father, and that it wasn't FAIR. This is so important, that he didnt just say that it happend and that it sucked, but that it wasn't FAIR and that he did not DESERVE IT.
This is Dean addressing not just his mother but how HE feels about it, how he feels about HIMSELF, that he is saying that he DESERVES MORE and has SELF WORTH.
These are all the words I have been using since 12x01 re: Dean . I’m so happy!
This had to happen to keep our boys on the ‘don't kill humans unless they HAVE to’ side, especially after Dean considered letting Toni go. Thank you.
Sam’s forgiveness of Mary, Dean’s reaction to the happy family hug (it’s great but someone is missing...). “Who we are... we kick ass. We save the world”
SAM AND DEAN ARE ACCEPTING THEMSELVES THIS SEASON. In 12x09 Sam said it, now Dean says it. After all the angst this episode and for Dean all season...
This whole episode was for me the culmination of the deconstruction of Performing!Dean this season, which has been the main theme carried through on the character - driven side of things, it was beautiful.
In many ways I view this as the character - led season finale and 12x23 as the plot - led season finale (which I will post my thoughts on right up next).
I cannot WAIT to see the result of this episode come across next season.
We have not only now Performing!Dean pretty much dead or on his way out, the Dean Winchester is going to die metaphor was fully used and was fantastic, but coupled with Cas being brutally taken away from Dean, the parallels with 2 key canon romantic couples (Sam/Jess and Cain/Colette) in this within SECONDS of each other, plus the Jibcon revelations that we will see more of Dean’s reaction to this in season 13, apparently crying (and Jared not even hiding Destiel jokes now) make me pretty much 100% convinced Destiel is really endgame now.
Aside from this we now have Dean accepting himself, his internal self acceptance arc coming to a close, Sam’s MoL arc coming up and I will touch on the other aspects of the story for Sam in the next post as they are relevant to Lucifer / Jack, and Cas’s arc too...
Season 13 is already set up for exactly the endgame I am wishing for!
- Mol! Sam (and Eileen, Chuck I’m still bitter about that though, I really hoped her death would turn out to be a misdirection). Pretty much CHECK.
- Hunter / Mol collaboration with Sam and Dean as leaders. Pretty much CHECK.
- End of the brodependency, Dean acknowledging he was Sam’s parent and letting him go. CHECK.
- End of Performing!Dean. Pretty much CHECK.
- Human!Cas and self worth and belonging for his arc. TBA probably next season, what happened this season makes no sense if not to lead to this.
- Destiel. Pretty much CHECK. (And now after seeing Jibcon and the boys just joking about it all the time? Yeah, I don't think they have an issue with this!).
- ALL THE RAINBOWS
Hey, I was wondering what this perfoming dean tag is?? is it a destiel thing?
No, it’s Dean’s macho, ubermanly hunterdudebro personality he fronts to the world. It’s pretty self-explanatory after a short jaunt through the tag…
A lot of that facade has absolutely crumbled now after 12.22, when we’ve finally launched a grenade at the foundation of that facade– which he began building after Mary’s death and had to be not only a brother to Sam, but also a father AND mother to him.
He’s never admitted that stuff to ANYONE before, about how it wasn’t fair to him to be given that burden at four years old, because of course he would feel like he’d failed.
It really puts most of the rest of the series into perspective (i mean just think about his conversation with Bobby in 2.22 about why he traded his soul for Sam’s, or why he’s always been so willing to trade his own happiness and life for Sam’s… that’s the sort of thing a PARENT does, not a brother…)
And the face parents create to present to their children– that they are competent, that they have everything under control, that they are invincible– (like the one Tasha Banes explained to Dean that only grown children can really understand about their parents, that they really are just people and not perfect beings) is what Dean’s been constructing for himself since Mary died.
That’s the essence of Performing Dean.
It manifests in supremely unhealthy coping mechanisms (whiskey and denial), the constant belief that he is unworthy or undeserving of love because of his perceived failures, and his lifelong mission to excel at the one thing he believed himself good at– hunting (including all the surrounding machomanlyman hunter “culture” that he learned from John– who was ALSO repressing a shitton of emotional baggage after Mary’s death).
Hopefully now that he’s made this revolutionary admission to Mary, we really will see the end of that performance.
Yes yes all of these things.
Seeing performing Dean crumble just before Cas’s death made it hurt all the more. Because it seemed like Dean was finally ready to let himself be loved.
Exactly. That's why it was constructed in this way on purpose *whispers* standard narrative trope...
The next part is literally entitled "winning him back"
Alright guys, strap in because I’m about to say some potentially dangerous things
Here goes: if I can ever stop crying, I’m going to admit that killing Cas was exactly what destiel needed.
We’ve needed a catalyst. A turning point for these two. And, this is it.
It makes me start to believe that Jensen’s “destiel isn’t real” comments were a major misdirect because he knows. They all know, that destiel is destined to become canon.
Dean has lost Cas… Again. But it’s different this time. THIS is the season that Cas is told he’s family over and over again. THIS is the season that he’s told Dean and the Winchester’s that he loves them. (I love you, I love all of you). And Dean finally understands the distinction. He understands that Cas is in love with him. Even if he’s not ready to do anything about it… yet.
And, as much as I f******* hated watching Cas die, deep down i cant help but be amazed at the writers. Because it’s great storytelling. Because if Dean has had fears before about telling Cas how much he means to him, you better believe he’s ready to do it now.
Just look at what they brought us at the end of the season during Dean’s talk with Mary! Dean had such a beautiful moment of pure honesty with her. He knows it’s not his job to be Sam’s parent anymore. He knows that if he wants to work things out with the people he loves, he needs to forgive them, trust them and work with them:
“I have faith in us”
This quote from Dean is the essence of this episode: us. Together. How telling is it that the episode ended with the contrast of everyone’s seperation?
How telling is it that Sam lost Eileen right before Dean lost Cas?
I can’t speak for the writers intention, but right at this very moment, I feel more hopeful for Eileen than I ever thought possible! Because even if it looks like it, this isn’t a story about seperation. It’s a story about being together!
And, they have the entire next season to spend bringing everyone back together again!
Dean’s ready. Sam’s ready. Mary’s ready. I’m ready.
And when they bring back Cas, it’s going to be beautiful. I hated tonight, but man, I think I believe in canon destiel more right now than I ever have.
@tinkdw I can’t say if this fits with your views, but I believe in your positivity now more than ever. Even if it came at the cost of a bucket full of tears
YES. YES. YES. This is what I’ve been talking about for the whole season :) I’m so happy right now! This is exactly my Break Up Theory coupled with my Faith = Free Will theory. I was talking to another meta writer about Faith being negative in the show, which it is, and I totally take on board what they said, but I still felt like for me the shift is for them all to go from having no Faith or Faith in the wrong thing to having Faith in THEMSELVES... and then Dean said that and I just.... ARGH! YES!
I’m just going to leave this here:
Guys I think you're gonna see a helluvalot more meta on 12x22 than 12x23 from me, just saying! WHAT A FREAKING EPISODE! THAT was the meta finale we all wanted! Me @ Berens and Dabb:
Does anyone have a spare heart? Supernatural ripped mine out and crushed it.
For me THIS episode was the finale.
12x23 was the plot driven epilogue. It is just the set up for next season...
12x22 is the character driven finale that we and the boys both deserved and I am SO happy with the way it went, we were ecstatic watching this episode!
