this post suggests a perfect au in which alicia zimmermann wins the cup and bob is her actor-slash-model husband

(jack still takes a shit in it)

bad bob zimmermann cried when his son graduated and if you ask him about it he wholeheartedly admits to crying and starts telling you about how much he loves is son and how proud he is & he might even start showing you some pictures of jack again and honestly if you don’t walk away too soon he might get choked up a lil bit and tons of people thinks it’s ridiculous but what bad bob doesn’t tell them is that the worst feeling he ever experienced was the way his heart seemed to ice over when he had to face the reality that he might not be a father anymore and he is just so gosh darn happy he doesn’t feel that way anymore because his son was so strong and he pulled through and he got better and bob loves him so much and he’s so proud and did he tell you about the one time one of jacks grade 11 history essays was published in an academic journal his son is so smart and

bad bob/holster

posted august 20,2021

bad bob is the type of famous person who wakes up one day at like age 57 and goes “i should write an autobiography” and alicia just tries to smother him with a pillow because it’s 3 am and he woke her up to share this revelation. the next morning he immediately starts writing it, only to realize he literally knows nothing about writing and has to take a step back and call an agent for help. jack doesn’t find out he’s writing one bc bob has forgotten to mention it to everyone he knows so he literally finds out through twitter with about half the hockey world, including all of bob’s famous retired friends who all send confused congratulations. he also announces that he’s going on a book tour with that ON TWITTER and immediately picks the weirdest set of cities to visit. after tweeting that, he immediately goes on a fishing trip and can’t be reached for about nine hours, as his phone is being blown up by everyone and everything. alicia thinks the entire affair is a comedy and encourages it

AU suggestion

ONE character is replaced by a muppet

bad bob

compelling

i just realized this fully implies bad bob zimmermann is a bear. which like. i’ll take constructive criticism

same image bc its late and i didnt want to find another one

SOURCE FOUND!!!!!! thank you @shitty-check-please-aus !!!!!!!

Alicia: I did spend a night with your friend, yes.

Jack: what the fuck?

Bob: your mother has needs! and I'm not as young as I used to be. I appreciate the help!

Jack: what the fuck??

Alicia: I understand if this is strange and uncomfortable for you to know but we need to be able to talk about these things as a family!

Jack: we really don't!

thinking about how there are two years between the OD and jack going to samwell where shit went down in the zimmermann household and no one except the three of them was there to see it

Mr. Jack’s Dad

to go with Alicia

inspired by this post from @uncleshits :

Bob: hey…so. I kinda wanted to ask you something

Jack: what’s up?

Bob: you know how I love your mother very much, right?

Jack: yeah?

Bob: well…what would you think of me marrying her?

Bob: because um. I wanted to ask you for your blessing

Jack: ??

Alicia “flawlessly inhabits her roles and shrugs them off like a coat at the end of the day, thereby making her unrecognizable in real life” Fenway 🤝 Bobby “spends most of his public life in a giant hockey helmet, thereby making him unrecognizable in real life” Zimmermann

Bobby’s roommate’s like “hey dude? You’re in the magazines? Anything you uhhhh wanna share?” and Bobby’s like “yeah I went on a date with the woman I’m gonna marry :)” and then his roommate shows him the magazine cover and it’s WHO IS ALICIA FENWAY’S NEW BEAU?

and first Bobby’s like “wait what??” and then he looks at his roommate and says, “hold on, ‘who’s Alicia’s new beau?’ We won the fucking Cup last year”

wait wait wait. “no time for movies I gotta focus on hockey” Bobby & “I haven’t had a break to go to a sporting event in 3 years” Alicia meet-cute at the farmers’ market

Alicia: so what do you do for fun?

Bobby: oh euh…I like playing sports with my friends. what about you?

Alicia: oh cool! I am — pretty into movies, I’ve got a pretty big film collection

Bobby & Alicia, internally: wow it’s such a breath of fresh air to talk with someone who’s so normal :)

random passerby: OMG it’s you!!! can I get your autograph??

Bobby & Alicia: haha, uhh sure — wait why’re you—? I think they meant me?? hold on HOLD on

once again thinking about how Jack has pupils bc he’s the love interest and therefore a prequel comic about his parents would be from Bob’s POV

THE DAD BRACKET: ROUND 1

Bob Zimmerman - Check, Please! / Optimus Prime - Transformers

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