somewhere in northern italy

obvi i went to see barbie and obvi i wore my greta gerwig tshirt

it’s 2023 and @wedoitallthetime and i are finally in CREMA

i dont come on here often anymore and to an extent that was second nature, but it’s partly deliberate too, the distance i’ve put between myself and fandom/timmy. i’d rather be watching from afar these days (not so much that i’m forgetting about it lol)

that’s not at all my point though lol i actually wanted to say occasionally i do come and do a little scroll through this blog or a tag or something and i’m really truly so grateful that it exists. it feels like a diary of sorts of some of the happiest years of my life and as someone with bad memory it’s such a relief and a blessing to have something to go back to help me remember.

and it’s not so much about timmy at all, it’s about my life. i just scrolled past a series of photos captioned february 19 2018 and i remember seeing these photos for the first time: it was raining again, after a few days of blessed sun and warmth in london, i was sitting at a lecture on bourdieu/taste and i kept telling myself i should be listening but i wasn’t, i was giddy and scribbling on the margins of my notes instead. this blog didn’t even exist then. but i see certain photos or read certain posts and it really shapes up a memory that otherwise probably would’ve faded by now. like little tags, little timmy shaped tags that help my life be a little more easy to recollect

i dreamed i was attending the oscars because one of my friend’s short was nommed and me and another friend were just in a back alley eating ice cream and timmy was there and his outfit was hideous

i think lilo and i are going on a day trip to bergamo this weekend 🥹

i had secret intel about bones & all at uni today

my lecture today is about little women and greta and the prof has said she was snubbed of a best director oscar nom and he’s right

timmy was in my dream and we were best friends :(

anyway 🧀🧀🧀 i struggle dealing with the passage of time and it’s kinda gobsmacking to think timmy is 27 already but also only 27 somehow. like i remember sitting on a double decker bus and one of my friends asked how old he was and the answer was 22 and 22 back then felt very grown and mature and serious and far away and now i’m 24 🫠 which btw is oliver’s age when he arrives at the villa in cmbyn 🫥 which is to say i can’t believe it’s been 5 years since this whole madness began but it’s also felt like i’ve known him my whole life. there’s before and after him corny as it sounds. and it’s been my utmost pleasure to witness an almost shy awkward kid who was not yet a movie star flourish into one of the most iconic actors and artists of his/our generation. to have been standing on the front row with my eyes peeled saying just watch he’s gonna take the world by storm and he did 😌 and i was there and i remember it all too well. but above anything else i want to say over and over again and probably for the rest of my life - i will never be able to thank this skinny white boy enough. for everything for everything for everything.

happy birthday 💛 i love you still and always x

the ig stories just made me realise timmy was in my dream last night 🤧

still homeless & still riding the wave of one the worst few days of my life however i went to my favourite café this morning and the barista recognised me from the bones & all screening on sunday 🥺 he said he liked it but it was weird lol not untrue

defending my father on the class group chat 😌

i’m having the worst day ever and ever but i’m gonna go and watch bones et al. again to at least switch off my brain for a while i’ll report back later

oh btw saw this on my afternoon walk w lilo today 🥹