I’m still struggling with depression and anxiety and it’s what dragged me away from tumblr and other things for a while. Lately I have a new problem. I am rather dissociated from the person that I actually am. I have never moved beyond a place years and years ago. Part of why I hate birthdays is that I don’t feel like I’m the person that occupies the body of that person. My mind got left behind in this trip called life and my body moved on. It probably feeds my depression and probably is making it hard to actually get well.
Another problem is the severe social anxiety. I mentally want to get out and branch out and do things, but when I try to do it I get scared and always back out. I want to go to art classes and expand my skills, but I’m left doing what I do, because I’m scared of that point where you have to show your art to the group. (I know, It sound stupid)
As time passes, I’m less worried that I’ll improve or get well but now wonder if my life will ever get better. :(
I haven’t really thought much on this lately, but now that I have, I have myself crying. I know why friends that I may have had come and go, because I am the worst person to have as a friend.