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Not ‘Just’ A Geek 💕

@tillychmo

Welcome to my little anonymous corner of the internet, where I’ll share my slightly nerdy and geeky thoughts (and maybe even fics?) – usually connected to my work as an actor & writer. This is new to me, so I hope you’ll bear with me as I stumble my way through learning how best to use tumblr 💕
Let’s geek out together!
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So, uhm, have I not posted about my Travel Boys over here since chapter 1?? 👀😳😬

Because we are now on chapter 4 and chapter 5 is not too far away!

(Chapter 5 … IN WHICH THE BOYS FINALLY MEET IN PERSON BTW 👀)

Just thought I’d let you know and send you a wee link to the story, in case you’re up for reading all four of my more than 10,000 word chapters (EACH 👀) 😅

(I know the link says “chapter 1”, but I promise you there are 4 chapters (at a total of 43,370 words!) currently available over on Ao3 😘)

Please come join the fun! 💜🔥

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I don’t know what happened, but I’ve suddenly seen a massive influx of reblogs, likes, and new followers … how did you find me?? 😂

Either way, WELCOME.

I will post more meta, I’ll post some fics (yes, I have started writing them and they are on their way *squee*), and I’ll reblog people who are making good points (or ya know … whose content I just like 🤷🏻‍♀️).

I’m happy you’re here, and I hope you’ll come along for the ride – feel free to ask questions or engage with any of the meta-stuff (and I mean, also all the other stuff on here of course 😅)

Have a wonderful new start of the week!

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S1-Izzy's Foreshadowed Road to Redemption in s2

(And me slightly gushing over Con O'Neill's acting on the way.)

Right-o. We need to talk about our man Izzy Hands. More specifically we need to talk about Izzy in ep110 and through to the second series, because I have yet to see anyone else comment with this particular angle, so here's my hot take:

(This will include obvious spoilers for all of the current two series of Our Flag Means Death)

I've seen some people talk about Izzy's character change as something that happened 'way too quickly' – I've seen others talk about Izzy not being a bad guy in series 1 at all – and I've seen a lot of people come away from the scene in ep. 110 where they're throwing out Stede's books and Fang/Kevin asks Izzy what happened to his foot with an understanding that Izzy's reaction to that question is one of gloading satisfaction, and because I kinda disagree with all of these takes (but especially the latter), here's my wee take on the lot – with particular emphasis on that 'smile' in ep. 110:

Jumping right in: The second 'Krackbeard' cuts off Izzy's toe Izzy knows that he has f*cked up and finally pushed Ed too far. Sure, Izzy has been used to Blackbeard cutting the toes off of other crew members and make them eat it "for a laugh" for years and years – but Blackbeard/Edward has never turned his violence on Izzy before.

Izzy wanted Blackbeard back, yes, and all the way through s1 he pushed and pushed and pushed him, even though Ed clearly didn't want to be 'Blackbeard' anymore.

We see this in the 'soft' manipulations – like him saying "My boss would like a word with you" to Stede, but telling Edward "I explicitly told him 'Blackbeard desires his company'" – and we see it more and more prevalent as Ed grows closer to and more and more fond of Stede – like Izzy ordering Fang/Kevin and Ivan to back him up in his demand that Edward kills Stede (based on Fang's & Ivan's reactions in the previous scene "This is the most open and available I've ever seen him", I feel OK with surmising that Izzy probably ordered them to back him up here) so that Edward will 'lose face' or even be looked at as weak if he refuses to do it; like insisting on a swordfight with Stede – directly against his captain's orderes – and choosing to not just banish Stede from the ship when it looks as though Izzy is going to win, but actually going in for the kill; like selling Stede (the man Ed loves) out to the English, while also basically treating Edward as a commodity, by making him the 'price' Izzy will earn from the British, when they've captured Stede.

The latter of which – and this is equally as important to note – literally sets the whole trajectory of Ed's fall into Krackbeard in motion.

Ed is the one who returns to the Revenge – not Blackbeard. And Izzy is continually at his wits end, because he has now done nearly every single manipulative thing he can think of (Izzy obviously doesn't think of these things as 'manipulative' – in his eyes he is still doing the 'right thing') to get Edward to 'snap out of it'. But Ed is still refusing to act the part of Izzy's preferred understanding of what masculinity is. In fact, after his return Ed slips even further into the kind of 'feminine'-masculinity that Izzy despises.

And Izzy finally cracks – insisting that 'Edward' and 'Blackbeard' are not the same, and then taunting Edward with his percieved weakness of being heartbroken. This finally goads a reaction out of Ed.

And for the glimmer of a second Izzy thinks he sees 'Blackbeard' in Ed – and you can see the sheer satisfaction on his face:

But Ed doesn't want to be Blackbeard. And the moment Izzy touches his face (other people have written brilliantly on Ed's reactions to physical touch – if I can find it, I will add a link to it here), Ed doesn't go in for the counter attack. Instead, he pushes Izzy's hand away, let's go of Izzy's neck, and takes several steps back. Even here, when he is being actively threatned, he is still refusing to 'act the part' of overt violence that Izzy is demanding of him.

And because Con O'Neill is an actor's absolute dream (side-note: seriously, I cannot get enough of watching his micro-expressions when a thought changes and you can see it so clearly in his eyes) we can see the split-second where Izzy realises this:

(Seriously that thiny change of his eyes is so easy to miss and yet it speaks VOLUMES for Izzy's character and character arc – Con O'Neill you brilliant bastard.)

So at the point where Ed is at his absolutely most vulnerable – because the crew has made him feel safe to do so – Izzy goes for the final 'trick' he has left: He threatens Ed on his life.

And this brings us back to the beginning of this post: Krackbeard cutting off Izzy's toe. Supposedly this should have been an indicator to Izzy that 'Blackbeard' is back and is "himself again" and Izzy even says this himself:

And here we arrive at the whole reason for why I've made this post (yeah, sorry, I know it took a while) :

Izzy is telling us that he finally got what he wanted: "Blackbeard is himself again". In other words: "I WON. YAY."

BUT – and I cannot stress this enough – look at the reaction that follows those words:

"I WON ... YAY?"

THIS is the look that clued me in on where Izzy's character arc was heading. Because there is only one reason to allow the antagonist of your story to crack even the flicker of an inch and acidentally show their true feelings like this – and that is if they are on their way to redemption. And with redemption more often than not also comes their inevitable demise.

THIS is not the face of a man who is happy. THIS is the face of a man who knows damn well that he just cosmically f*cked up and now has to live with the consequences.

Which is why we see him, immediately after this accidental facial honesty, putting on the face of a man who actually got what he wanted. Because he is suddenly finding himself in unchartered territory: Izzy knows who 'Blackbeard' is – but he has no clue who 'Krackbeard' is or how to handle him, because 'Krackbeard' is born from the lack of Stede, the heartbreak that followed, Ed's self-hatred, and the threats from Izzy. And Izzy didn't understand this ... Until he suddenly starts to realise it, when it is seemingly already too late.

So when series two started and we see a completely broken down Izzy, I was not surprised at all. Because not only did Izzy realise in ep. 110 that he had finally pushed Ed too far – he has, in the intervening weeks and months, seen Edward (the man Izzy was/has been/is coming to realise that he loves) deteriorate, doing more and more drugs and abusing alcohol and becoming more and more depressed and suicidal. Izzy has finally realised what antagonising Ed actually costs: Ed's attachment to life – Ed's willingness to live. And the reason why we see Izzy change his tune towards Stede fairly/incredibly quickly in s2, is because Izzy has realised that the only way to save Ed, is to accept that Stede is what brings Ed to life. Not 'Blackbeard', or 'Krackbeard', or any other performative persona, but "just Ed".

Which is why mirroring the 'attack' scene in 110 with the words "There he is" in Izzy's final words to Ed is so damn beautiful.

IZZY: "Just be Ed." Ed breaks down crying. IZZY: "There he is."

(An afterthought: Writing this I'm realising that Izzy's final scene with Edward in 208 actually beautifully mirrors their scene in 110 in more ways than "There he is". In 110 we see Izzy being pinned against the wall; he is 'finally' being touched by Edward, but it happens with violence and agression and with no hint of care or love – but in 208 Izzy asks Ed to sit with him, and not only does Ed stay with him, he is literally holding him, caringly and lovingly in his arms. No agression and no violence. Just care and love and familarity and warmth. Not telling Izzy that he loves him, but showing him. And I think that's quite a nice thought to end on.)

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sarucane

Ed Teach's Stories

From practically the moment we meet him, Ed's identity is unstable. We we know who is he (Blackbeard) from context, from the story told by the the room around him, by Izzy and the flag his crew. But the thing is, Ed doesn't fit the story of the Mad Devil Blackbeard. Two of his first few words are "good" and "love" for crying out loud. He's called "Blackbeard," but his beard is grey.

This instability exists because Ed himself isn't sure what story he's telling--or wants to tell. "I shouldn't be bored, I'm fucking Blackbeard!" All through his early episodes Ed is in increasingly desperate tension with his own identity. He's trying to tell stories within stories, wanting all the stories to be true at the same time, yet aware of the reality that the world is constantly trying to wipe one or another of the stories away. And not really trusting that he can tell the whole story of who he is.

In the first season of OFMD, Stede wears a different outfit every episode. Yet Stede remains the same: despite his internal tensions (almost despite himself) there's a stability to his identity. But all through both seasons of OFMD, Ed putting on a new outfit means he's trying to tell a completely different story about himself.

And underneath this cacophony, there's Ed. And Ed is himself a chorus of stories, a living contradiction. A patricidal murderer who was protecting his mother; a paragon of masculinity who longs for softness and fluidity; a man renowned for violence and madness who has in fact carefully cultivated that reputation and is extremely careful with his violence; a killer who doesn't kill, yet who does kill all the time just at a bit of a remove; a half a dozen names and personas and yet always Ed; unloveable, yet deeply loved.

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tillychmo

This is a very interesting read.

And while I do agree with most of it, there's one thing I feel the need to add, because it is such an important part of Ed's character:

Ed's clear ADHD. It has never been 'confirmed' (as far as I know) by anyone on the show, but honestly, it really doesn't have to. The way they have portrayed Ed's ADHD-symptoms, -mannerisms, and -struggles speak a loud and clear language on their own. It's in the way he get's easily excited by all the things on Stede's ship – the way he is "bored out of [his] skull" by pirating (something he has been doing most of his life, at this point) – the way he "can't sit with [himself]" (as Fang/Kevin puts it) – the way his inner monologue goes on and on when he actually does 'sit with himself' – his undeniable intelligence and yet his "oh shit, it's the wrong date?"-of it all – AND it is absolutely in the way he 'changes persona' to fit into the different environments he finds himself in (i.e. when he changes outfits).

The word (other than ADHD) that is missing from the otherwise very interesting post above, is the word masking.

Ed is masking all the time – except in those moments when he is with Stede and at complete ease. It's part of why his personality seems to change whenever he puts on a different set of clothes: He learned early on in his life that being who he is wasn't safe for him; so he became Blackbeard. Even his mum said it: "We're just not those kinds of people." It has literally been drilled into him, since he was a child, that what he wants is not attainable for 'someone like him' – and who he is is not safe in this world that values traits like 'toxic maskulinity' and 'being ruthless' far more than 'being kind' and 'liking fine things'. So when he goes to the fancy ship in fancy clothes? He tries to act fancy, because 'that is what you do here'.

The concept of masking is something a lot (if not most?) of people with ADHD (and most likely other neurospicinesses as well) struggle with. Especially if you have only been diagnosed later in life. We have spent our lives trying to mask our symptoms – trying to fit in and trying to 'keep our heads down', because the neurotypical world has, at large, told us that we didn't fit in – that we were 'too loud', 'too excitable', 'too messy', 'too quiet', 'too on', 'too much' – so we mask. We mask our excitements, we mask our struggles, some of us even mask our knowledge of things, because we are so used to being viewed as 'show offs' when our brains reach fast conclusions and solutions that we make ourselves 'dumber', in order to not 'stick out'.

Ed has been masking – in some way shape or form – his whole damn adult life. And this is why he has no idea who he is. When he's telling Stede in 207 "I don't even know who I am" that is not hyperbole. He has no clue. He knows part of who he is, when he is alone with Stede – when it's just the two of them, the masks come off and he finally gets to just be himself; but that also means that he is extremely vulnerable, should he lose Stede again. And this is why he panics in 207 – he sees Stede go down a road that is (in piratetimes – hopefully not in the show) inevitably going to get him killed, and that terrifies the sh*t out of Ed. Because not only would he lose the love of his life, but he would also lose the only place where he is currently feeling safe and free enough to let all of his masks fall.

So when Ed believes Stede to be dead in 208? Well. He goes on a rampage. He let's the masks fall, except for the one that makes him vulnerable – the 'Stede-mask', if you will. The one he only let's fall when he's around Stede. The one that he first took off on the night he told Stede about killing his own dad. He has never taken that mask off for anybody before he met Stede. As we learn in 203, Ed has never told anybody about murdering his dad. Not even Izzy knows about it. But Stede does. So what happens in 208, when Ed finds one of Stede's letters? He openly weeps. He lets his final mask fall and continues onward without any of them. That's why he doesn't change 'persona' when he puts on the British uniform. He has gotten rid of all the masks that he had needed to put on in order to survive.

And I'm so curious to see how they tackle this in series 3. Whether they're even as destinctly aware of it as we (the audience) are or whether it's a string of extremely lucky accidents ... (if it's the latter then: WOW – because that seems unlikely.)

I really hope we get a series 3 where we get to see Ed being mainly mask-less – it would lend itself to a furthering of the story arc he's been on since the beginning, but it would also mean even more representation for all those of us with ADHD. I don't think I've ever seen a representation like this of ADHD in public media – where it's not being played for a joke. Where it's not being 'looked down upon' or 'ridiculed'. Yes some of the scenes are funny, because they seem so 'over the top', but ya know what? They're really not. They're actually quite accurate. Now, ADHD varies for every single person on the planet who has it, so some things are going to feel more or less true to all of us – there are definitely things in Ed that I don't recognise from myself ... but most of those things, are the ones I recognise from my friends and family with ADHD. So even when they don't apply directly to me, they still allow me to feel represented. And that's really all anyone could ask for, to be honest.

Representation – well-written, well-acted, well-told representation.

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amuseoffyre

@triflesandparsnips made a rather spiffy observation on my post about Ed and face-touching:

It may be worthwhile, considering how much face/mouth violence Ed is sensitive to -- and when we see or hear about it -- to do a review of how much of that face sensitivity is also associated with food and eating.

And hooboy, I ended up down a rabbithole thinking about Ed and food and it got so long, it earned itself its own little post.

These are all the food/eating related moments that tie in directly to Ed having strong emotional responses. I didn't limit it to just the face-touching because there's a lot of emotional mess going on as well.

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tillychmo

Beautifully beautifully put 👏👏👏

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OFMD: Budget Cuts, Ed's relationship to the Crew and the importance of context clues.

Right, let's get the nerd-outs on this blog started!

Kicking off with Our Flag Means Death (obvious spoilers for both series ahead) and a wee talk about budget cuts, Ed's relationship with the crew, and the importance of context clues:

We now know that OFMD had a massive 40% budget cut between series 1 and 2 – considering this, it's important to realise that budget cuts can have a hand in basically anything the fandom has complained about this series. It doesn’t mean that it is to blame for all the things (nor that all of the fandom's complaints are warranted for that matter), but it definitely can be an active factor.

One of the things I've seen a fair amount of people complain about is the fact that the audience didn't see Ed apologise to every single crewmember on the Revenge after his return, and this specifically is what I would like to talk about in this post, because I believe that the budget cuts (and having only 8 episodes instead of 10) are undeniably to 'blame' for the less than explicit 'Ed apology-tour'.

Having that much less money between series 1 and 2 means that you have to go out of your way to cut corners and make big decisions really fast – when that happens, you’re bound to have oversights (this includes pacing issues, cut scenes, choosing to give focus on one character’s arc over another (this especially is important here), etc.).

The writers clearly made the choice that finishing Izzy’s arc was their number one priority this series – most likely because after a 40% budget cut they feared that they wouldn’t get a third series – which means that all of the time that series 1 spent on Ed and Stede, was now suddenly shifted to Izzy, despite the fact that the Gentlebeard-love story is the heart of the show. So instead of giving us all the healing and growing scenes between Ed and everyone else, we got 'context clue' scenes. Just like we did with Izzy in series one – the big difference being that s1-Izzy’s context clues were meant to make us dislike him for plotting against Gentlebeard, and s2-Ed's context clues were meant to show us that Ed actually wanted to and tried to change for the better. Now, is it an oversight to think that a positive character-change can be picked up by the entire audience only by way of context clue-scenes? Yes. Clearly. We are (as people) generally much faster to see and believe the negatives, than we are to see and believe the positives. This is part of why so many people feel like Ed’s redemption should have been spelled out for us – that they should have actively shown us that he made amends to everyone.

But they gave us the scenes with Fang/Kevin, the ones with Lucius, and the one with Izzy as context clues for the crew coming to terms with the things that happened. The scene with Archie, Olu, and Jim where they’re drowning their brooms is another context clue – sure, Archie is saying “that’s just how it is”, but she’s in no way unhappy about it. She’s just ‘happy go lucky’ “move on, mate”. Jim even says “I think for that was pretty solid, for him”. Both Roach and Frenchie agree. Pete is just happy that Ed's wearing the cat collar.

They are pirates – their take on these things are different from how we would react in the real world. And Lucius in that scene is an example of how we (the real-world people/the audience) are reacting when watching that scene “the bar is on the floor” – BUT look at how everyone else in that episode reacts to Lucius ‘not just moving on’. Everyone else – even Izzy, who up until this point has been the only human in a crew of muppets – thinks he should just let it go and move on. It’s literally spelled out in the conversation they have in that scene in 205: Lucius: “And you? Are you happy with this?” Izzy: “With what? Pirating? Well, this is a pirate ship and I’m a pirate, so yeah. I’m good with it. You still mad he pushed you off the ship, Twatty?” – Izzy is telling us here that ‘stuff like this is just what happens on pirate ships’ and in the shark-scene his parting words to Lucius (who is representing the audience) is literally “Not moving on is worse”.

We are absolutely meant to take all of these as context clues for the crew moving on. And even more so during the party scene in 206, where Ed is not 'only being tolerated because of Stede' – he actively encourages Stede to let the crew have fun, which results in Archie's "This guy's devout as fuuuuck".

Now, would the series have benefitted from those extra scenes that would have helped further along the narrative of the crew moving on and coming to terms with Ed? Absolutely. But again – budget cuts. And there’s an important thing that seems to be forgotten in a lot of these discussions – which is that they crew did love Ed in series 1.

Ed became part of their family – which is obviously why it hurt that much more (especially for Lucius, who was the only Revenge-crew member to get really close with Ed) when he lashed out and hurt them. But that doesn’t mean that they stopped loving him. You can absolutely love someone you don’t like or even hate. The two are not mutually exclusive. That’s why dysfunctional families are so toxic and hard to get out of. Because if you didn’t love them, then you would have absolutely no problem in leaving their toxic arses behind. And THAT is what our favourite crew is – family. And Ed is the family member who went through a (TW!) depressive suicidal psychosis and hurt everything and everyone on his way. Is it going to take time to rebuild the trust in Ed that they had in series 1? I think so, yes. And I think there’s a possibility that that could come into play in series 3, though I think it's just as probable that we are meant to read it as a closed chapter. But the crew's love for Ed? Nah, that never went away. It got buried in a heap of sh~t and trauma – but that doesn’t mean that the crew doesn’t love Ed, when he is simply being Ed ❤️

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