had a bad low blood pressure moment last night and messily asked my partner for saltines and water before realizing i should probably ask for the Blood Pressure Medication I Need To Take. while they went to go grab it though i still had water and crackers so in a daze i took a swig of water but didnt swallow and then tried to cram 2 saltines in my mouth. full of water. in bed. with mouth full of water

Oh My God Damn

my favorite part is that you can hear cars going by I very much enjoy the idea of people going past with no idea this is happening right next to them

I love that he keeps says “oh no! Toilet oh no!” As if he didn’t just set up this ludicrous situation

The Pre-Raphaelite Pothole, Terrace Road, St. Leonards-on-sea; part of the Great Art, Great Potholes series by SinkySnap. (x)

"Ophelia" John Millais

living in a village of farmers is the fucking best i just left a party and the butcher was like hey i got some bones for your dog. your dog specifically because i like the cut of his jib. hell yeah

do you know how fucking great it is to get home tipsy as hell wake up your dog he is already exited to see you and you are like here you go a big bone for your majesty...my man thought he was damn heaven!! so good

his majesty himself

[ID: tags by @m-e-w-666 that read: #this blue dog is just like that green cat ///end ID]

now you know damn well my dog is not blue.

your dog is tumblr colored

I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD BOB ROSS IS A GIFTED GOD I DREW ALONG TO HIS VIDEO IN MS PAINT AND

HOW

THE

FUCK

THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW PLEASE I ADVISE YOU GUYS TO DRAW ALONG WITH BOB ROSS IN MS PAINT IT IS AN EXPERIENCE I AM SO CONFUSED BUT PLEASED FUCKING DO IT

Bob Ross teaches you using layering and color theory, which are principles which work no matter what you paint with. Some materials won’t blend the same as oils obviously, but as Ross himself said, “you can paint with almost anything.”

Paint along with whatever you have, it’s great practice.

link to pdf 

I've been thinking about crop circles and how they kind of just stopped being a thing like 20 years ago and I've decided the obvious explanation is that they were all made by one individual alien who recently retired from the art world after a long career of controversial surrealist art in which he went from one pre-contact planet to another fucking with the indigenous species' corn

yet another late-night phone call from mulder

two facts:

If you live and eat in Toronto there is a non zero chance your meal's cook time was tracked with the gonch watch

for those confused its the watch I used as a prop in this:

Just out of curiosity

????

!!!!!!

How dare you hide this masterpiece in the tags

Holy shit this is one of the funniest possible responses of my god

Good to see that crows understand color theory

What a lovely artwork! We should hang it in a children’s hospital!

christ on a cracker (the last supper, oil on saltine)

I don’t know why, but reading “oil on saltine” just sent me

Recently, while staring far too long at a potato chip, it occurred to me that the ridges could possibly be used to create a lenticular effect. So I got out some chip dip (and the smallest paint brush I have) to test it out. I started with a simple 2-frame illustration of a football and a basketball, then I painted a little sour cream and onion dip bird. 🥔🕊️ - via my new @brockdavisart instagram

lindsay lohan taking photos of the paparazzi with a disposable camera, 2004 📸

“The first feminist gesture is to say: “OK, they're looking at me. But I'm looking at them.” The act of deciding to look, of deciding that the world is not defined by how people see me, but how I see them.” ― Agnès Varda