trying to describe the carl sandburg poem to friends who don’t remember it, while drunk

“you know, ‘chicago is a hot shirtless dude’? that super homoerotic poem about chicago?”

“no seriously, you have heard of this, okay. the one, it’s like, ‘chicago is a butcher and a dock worker, broad-shouldered and muscled and no doubt all oiled up, and if chicago was wearing a shirt at the start of this poem, by now the fabric definitely shredded under the strain of those biceps’”

“i swear to god, look it up, if you’re from the midwest you read this in high school. ‘chicago will ruin your karaoke night, but will buy tequila shots for everyone in the bar and is absolutely dtf. chicago has a lot of wheat and maybe mob connections but is also pretty busy with all the sexually charged wrestling. (chicago does a lot of sexually charged wrestling. more than maybe anybody.) chicago has a loud laugh and very white teeth and scraped up knuckles and is probably good at oral.’ no i am not making this up why would i do that.”

(pulls out phone, googles) “THIS POEM. THIS ONE RIGHT HERE.”

(everyone in the room begins to make noises of understanding) “yeah ok in retrospect the shirtlessness is not explicitly addressed but can we agree it is for sure implied”