you're cool and sexy actually

the most important thing to me ever is bi kids knowing that it’s ok to be 10% attracted to women and 90% attracted to men or 10% attracted to men and 90% attracted to women and still feeling ok to identify as bi, and still feeling like their identity is valid, and still feeling like they can lead fulfilling lives with both (or other) genders. like that’s just so fricking important.

I’m a bi adult and you know what? I needed this. Thank you.

it’s also important to remember that it can be a fluid % like sometimes it’ll be 50/50 some times 10/90 and then drift into a 45/65 or even 2/98 and it’s still okay. It’s just where you are at that time in your life. 

That shift is called the bicycle

And also if you only have experience dating one gender you are still valid 🙏

the vibe forever and ever

now that I’m paying attention to it, it’s impossible not to notice how many abled standards I hold myself to every single day. it’s a million little ways I beat myself up for not being able to do things “properly” or not being able to do them at all. and with that in mind. it’s not at all surprising to me that every disabled person I know has massive self esteem issues

“ugh can’t believe I did all my work from bed today” <- guy who should be proud of himself for doing work in a way he could manage it

“ahh another day of eating nothing but snacks I’m so unhealthy and gross” <- guy who should be proud of themself for eating the amount of food they could manage

“I’m gonna have to cancel plans again, everyone is gonna hate me for this” <- person who should be proud of herself for getting better at listening to her body

“being tired turns me into such a bitch I need to stop being so tired all the time” <- person with chronic fatigue who is trying their best

Hmmmm a little gentleman

for anyone who doesn’t know I also have a Tumblr for my cat Dio! He is a good boy!

The only thing that has ever improved my mental health in any measurable capacity is making more friends. That's literally it

The way isolation plays on your psyche, and the way that a solid support system can improve your life is insane. One of the worst things that we did as a society is removing most avenues to find this kind of thing, and the over reliance on the idea of getting better on your own

!!!

there’s a theory in psychology called social baseline theory that basically says that humans, at baseline, are a social species. it’s not that having a social group has a positive effect, it’s that not have a social group is an unnatural way of existing for our brains, and so to make up for it our brains have to go into overdrive, thus all the negative things that happen when you are isolated.

the original study looked at brain activity, a stressor, and hand holding. For the stressor, they conditioned the participants to expect pain at the sound of a buzzer (just a small shock). They then scanned people’s brains in three different scenarios: while alone, while holding a stranger’s hand, and while holding the hand of their spouse. When alone, the brain lit up with stress, anticipating the shock used up a lot of power. While holding a strangers hand, the brain lit up less, and with a spouse, even less so. Even if you don’t know a person, your brain still uses less power to anticipate and deal with stressful situations, because it knows there is at least someone else there to help. Kind of like how meerkats have one person to watch out for predators, and the rest of the meerkats can chill and look for food!

Another study that is similar asked people standing at the bottom of a hill how hard it would be to climb the hill. Participants who were alone ranked the hill harder to climb than participants who were with someone else. This reminds me of how doing chores and running errands is often a lot easier when you go with a friend!

TLDR; Having friends/existing in a social group is the neutral state (at least for our brains), and being isolated means your brain is putting in a lot more effort than usual to mitigate stressful situations, thus all the negative effects of isolation

Doing life with others makes life easier!

** I also want to note that I feel like this is one of those times where Western science is just confirming something we’ve known for like. All time

We don’t need science to tell us that being with people is good for us because we can feel it lol

I just think it’s cool that you can actually see that in your brain!

The only thing that has ever improved my mental health in any measurable capacity is making more friends. That's literally it

The way isolation plays on your psyche, and the way that a solid support system can improve your life is insane. One of the worst things that we did as a society is removing most avenues to find this kind of thing, and the over reliance on the idea of getting better on your own

!!!

there’s a theory in psychology called social baseline theory that basically says that humans, at baseline, are a social species. it’s not that having a social group has a positive effect, it’s that not have a social group is an unnatural way of existing for our brains, and so to make up for it our brains have to go into overdrive, thus all the negative things that happen when you are isolated.

the original study looked at brain activity, a stressor, and hand holding. For the stressor, they conditioned the participants to expect pain at the sound of a buzzer (just a small shock). They then scanned people’s brains in three different scenarios: while alone, while holding a stranger’s hand, and while holding the hand of their spouse. When alone, the brain lit up with stress, anticipating the shock used up a lot of power. While holding a strangers hand, the brain lit up less, and with a spouse, even less so. Even if you don’t know a person, your brain still uses less power to anticipate and deal with stressful situations, because it knows there is at least someone else there to help. Kind of like how meerkats have one person to watch out for predators, and the rest of the meerkats can chill and look for food!

Another study that is similar asked people standing at the bottom of a hill how hard it would be to climb the hill. Participants who were alone ranked the hill harder to climb than participants who were with someone else. This reminds me of how doing chores and running errands is often a lot easier when you go with a friend!

TLDR; Having friends/existing in a social group is the neutral state (at least for our brains), and being isolated means your brain is putting in a lot more effort than usual to mitigate stressful situations, thus all the negative effects of isolation

Doing life with others makes life easier!

please practice being excited about stuff.

yeah, I said "practice". remember how much joy there was in getting a new toy/book/game as a kid, and practice feeling that excitement again. a lot of us had that instinct squashed out of us, and you may not even know that you've internalized the idea that being excited and joyful isn't "mature" or "cool".

fuck that! let yourself experience joy and excitement! part of being an adult is learning that not only should you be able to feel anger/sadness/hard emotions without suppressing them, you have to do that for joy/excitement/wonder too.

let yourself feel unhindered, unbridled excitement!

When you finally find out about your ADHD.

reblogging for ADHD awareness month.

<3

Happy bi visibility day!!!! 💗💜💙