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@thomasjhammondd on Tumblr
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wow, thanks

@thomasjhammondd / thomasjhammondd.tumblr.com

a reliable source for vintage cringe
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joeyclaire

steven is a really funny character actually. he never went to school. one of his powers is astral projection for no real reason. hes a musical prodigy. he was so traumatized by the end of the show they had to make an entire epilogue series about it. he spent seven years looking like a 3rd grader. he was even bisexual

he went to the center of the earth. he saved the world in flip flops. he broke his bones every day and didnt even notice. he killed someone

he didn’t have a bellybutton. he actively chose to eat super crispy bits of potato that got left in the deep fryer. he lived in a house but his dad lived in a car within walking distance of his house. he could revive people from the dead. all of his clothes were concert merchandise. he had an outdoor washing machine. he was put on trial for murder. he broke both federal and state child labor laws

The murder he was on trial for was different than the murder he committed

The murder he went on trial for was a murder his mom committed. The victim of the murder was also his mom.

he plead guilty

Does anyone know what series this is?

no sorry

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sonny-kiddo

some notable catchphrases of 2013:

  1. bitch I might be
  2. do she got the booty ? she doooooooooo ! 
  3. swiggity swag
  4. the D
  5. wen u mom com home and make hte spagehti
  6. “ hello______, im dad “ 
  7. AYYY LMAO
  8. W R I T I N G  I N T E N S E  W O R D S  L I K E  T H I S 
  9.  perfect _____ don’t exis-
  10. And now, the weather
  11. at least 2 potato
  12. we’ve come full circle ! 
  13. life hack :
  14. [ __________ INTENSIFIES]
  15. so many
  16. such doge. much wow. very smile. 
  17. mahogany 
  18. *sweats nervously*
  19. same. 
  20. spooper hot choclety milk
  21. #SHERLOCKLIVES
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Ozai is so pathetic, like that “take his bending away haha he’s harmless now” trick would never have worked on Zuko, if you took his bending away he’d just grab his swords and come at you twice as hard, Azula doesn’t have swords or anything but she’s pretty good at hand to hand and amazing at talking her way out of problems, Iroh bust himself out of prison with no bending at all, meanwhile Ozai? Gets his bending taken away and then just collapses, doesn’t even try anymore, then just sits in prison and tries to get into Zuko’s head some more, he could have trained up and tried to break out too! But no! Bet he can’t break steel bars with his bare hands. Bet he can’t kick a steel lever in two. Bet he can’t even do a flip.

Also we never really see him do any really impressive firebending apart from when he has magic comet power, I guesss he shoots some lightning at Zuko, but that’s it and Azula is still better at the lightning thing. Azula has blue flames. Zuko can do firebreakdancing and bend with his swords. Does Ozai, who is not 14 years old, have blue flames? No he doesn’t.

He didn’t even do his coup himself, Ursa had to kill Azulon for him! Could have just challenged Iroh to an Agni Kai for the throne but he didn’t bc he knew he’d lose.

And then he only ruled for like 6 years! He lost a war that had been going on for 100 years bc of a bunch of kids.

Loserlord indeed

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quendergeer
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Your late 20s are not old and there is still lots of time left at 26 or 27 or 30. You haven't wasted your potential. Not me tho im running out of time by the day

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glumshoe

I like haunted houses in theory BUT I have no idea how to react when the actors speak to you. They ask me a question and I just… answer it…

The scariest part of a haunted house is the unscripted social interaction.

Scary nurse in a creepy voice: “Do you have an appointment to see the doctor?”

Me: “Uh. Do you accept walk-ins?”

Scary farmer: “I like to kill people!”

My friend, brightly: “I like to die!”

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puerto-nic0

Zombie : “AARRRGH”

Me : “Do you get dental insurance?”

Zombie : “TEETH!!”

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schmergo

This happened to me.

Scary prison dude: HELLO

Me: Nice to meet you!

Him: (pause) No it’s noooooot

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batsalmighty

My worst horror house experience was when I couldn’t find the (rather obvious) exit and the guy chasing me with a chainsaw stopped, sighed and pointed me to the exit, saying “please scream as loud as you can when you run out there” and just left. I disappointed the horror house chainsaw dude and I will never get over that

Guy: They are all my friends.. (motioning to hanging corpses; then grabs a noose) Will you be my friend?  Me: Sure totally, you made me a friendship necklace? Oh my god your so sweet?  Guy: … Yes.. Please, let me.. I cant I cant just go (laughing).  – Got to walk a second time through–  Same guy: My friends -wailing-  Me: I came back I just really wanted to be friends so bad Guy: (laughing more) Please, Im not allowed to laugh. 

I went to a Haunted House and literally befriended every actor there.

Specifically, I remember;

There were zombies walking around in the waiting room. I said “Hi!” and he gave me a high five. Every time he passed from then on, I got a high five.

Near the end, there were these twin little girls. “Come play with us.” They said. “Okay!” I said. “Forever.” They said. “Oh, sorry, can’t do that. I’m busy.”

I could hear them giggling.

Guy playing Freddie Kruger: Remember, you are all my children!

Me: thanks dad

A small chorus of teenagers: thanks dad

I went to a haunted corn maze once. Someone ran at me with a chainsaw. I just stared at him. He hung his head and walked away. I left.

The Real Horror Is The People We Dissapointed Along The Way

IM CRYING

My friends and I were in a really dark part of a haunted house and couldn’t find the exit, so the guy who had just jumped out at us had to say “to your left” in his same scary voice he’d used to scream and we were like “thanks!”

And then after a few moments of patting blindly at the wall he says again in the same ominous voice “your other left”

World Heritage Post

I was reminded once again yesterday when I met Disneyland Loki that I am the world’s worst improviser. Like, the poor actor is standing there in his full Loki gear trying to make conversation in character and I’m like, Hi, let’s take a photo, thanks for your time. 😂

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