The Nerd Blog

47 +14 for starmora!

“You were so reckless,like, I can’t even believe it, because you’re supposed to be the smart one, preventing the rest of us from killing ourselves out there—“

Gamora sighs, slumping a bit where she’s sitting on the bed. “Are you done?”

“As a matter of fact, I’m not, because I’m in charge of making sure my team doesn’t die in dumb ways, but then you run off to dealwith the biggest, baddest threat to the entire universe ever, not even trusting your own teammates to have your back!” Peter shakes his head in exasperationas he paces back and forth in front of her, gesturing wildly with his hands.

“You know that’s not what this is about—“

“How the hell would I know, because if you actually died out there, then there’d be no wayfor me to know!”

“Peter,” she says calmly, slowly, “Thanos is my fight—“

“He’s threatening the same galaxy that I live in, y’know—“

“I knew he would come after the team so I was going tohandle it on my own—“

“That’s not fair,and you know it, Gamora—“

“Yes, we’ve always helped each other, but my problems are different—“

“No, they’re not!” Peter exclaims, throwing his hands up. “Maybewe weren’t all trained to be assassins by people who surgically implanted cybernetic enhancements in us, but someof us also lost our parents to crazy, power-hungry dudes who tried to be ourdads, which resulted in us losing our childhood lives and homes.” He stops tocatch his breath, staring directly into her eyes. “I know of at least one person who gets it, who gets you, so heunderstands why you felt the need to go off on your own to handle it, but he doesn’tunderstand why you actually did it.”

Gamora presses her lips together. “Did you get my letter?”

“Of course,” he says quietly. He sticks a hand into hisjacket and pulls out a folded piece of paper with “Peter” written on theoutside. It looks a little worse for wear now, probably from the fight earlierwhen Peter had led the rest of the team to help her defeat some of Thanos’ forces and put an end to her recent rogue adventures. He holds the paper updelicately between his fingers, despite visibly seething. “So, yes,technically, I understand why, but I don’t understand why.”

She doesn’t respond.

He sighs. “I probably read this letter more times in twodays than I read my favorite book as a kid with my mom on Terra in eight years.”

“I just wanted you to know, to maybe understand…if we never got to…”

As she trails off, Peter steps closer to her. “Stop sayingthat, stop acting like this is the end.”

“But it’s Thanos,Peter,” Gamora insists, her voice scarcely above a whisper. “I first ran away years ago alreadyknowing it would probably end in my death. I’d never intended for it to includeanyone else.”

He sets the letter back in his pocket and gently takes herhands in his, pulling her up to stand with him. “But if we work together, likewe always do—“

She shakes her head, her eyes glossy and a lump forming inher throat. “I still don’t think it’s possible.”

“Well, with an attitude like that,” he attempts to joke, but she shakesher head again.

“If you think it was easy for me to leave you all, you’rewrong,” she states, her voice regaining some strength. She pulls her hands awayfrom his, turning away. “You all lost one friend. I lost four.”

He doesn’t respond at first, and Gamora wonders if she took ittoo far. She forces herself to get over it, because, really, when it comes toThanos, she’d happily lay her life down to stop him and protect her friends,her family. She’s not about to dragthem into her mess.

“Dear Peter, I wish things didn’t have to be this way, but I’mafraid I have no other choice.”

She turns at his voice to find him looking at her with acrestfallen expression.

“You’re probably confused about my behavior lately,including why I’ve written you a letter, of all things,” he continues reciting, his eyes never leaving hers.“I’m sorry for being distant and cold. I wish I could be brave, like you,persisting after a lifetime of grief, but I can’t. My nightmares have returnedand I don’t know how else to stop them. I know Thanos. I know his game. It’s mysole responsibility to see the mission through and stop him before he candestroy the universe, before he can destroy you and the others.

“You all taught me hope and love after so many years ofloneliness and sorrow. I couldn’t be more grateful. I’m still proud that I’vehad the chance to be surrounded by friends, through the good times and the bad.And, of course, there’s you, Peter, who’s managed to teach me so many thingsabout life, friendship, and a different kind of love from the others. Neverdoubt how much I love you. It’s because I love you I must do this. Take care ofthe others for me. Take care of Groot, even though he’s nearly full-grown now.

“If we do not meet again in this life, I look forward to whenwe are reunited in the stars. Love, Gamora.” He takes a deep breath uponfinishing, looking at her pointedly. “Do you believe me now when I say I poredover that thing?”

She feels just as rattled by her words as he appears to be.She steps closer to him. “I never doubted it. I meant every word when I wrote it.”

“It doesn’t have to be this way,” he insists tearfully. “Youstood by me against my evil, universe-destroying dad, without even batting an eye, and I know you’d do it all over again if you had to. Why can’t I do the samefor you?”

Really, when he puts it that way, she falters in crafting aneffective counterargument. Tears well up in her eyes and she lets out ashuddering breath, exposing the anxiety that’s been eating her alive since everythinghad gone to shit recently. She struggles for words, opening her mouth andshaking her head. “I’m not…I’m not usedto someone loving me enough to do that.”

Her voice sounds embarrassingly pitiful, echoing the fearThanos had instilled in her at a young age. She hasn’t broken down like this ina long time—years, perhaps—and she wants nothing more than to just crawl intosome dark hole, never to be seen again, if only to save herself the humiliationof losing her cool like this, after acting like she had some sort of controlover everything. (Again, she envies Peter’s bravery in his ability to be sooptimistic, despite the world constantly ending around him.)

But Peter’s never judged her, and that doesn’t change now.He holds her hand, using his other hand to cup her cheek. “Hey, hey, breathe,babe. You need air to keep arguing with me.”

She can’t help the little strange gasp that’s supposed to bea laugh that comes out at his words, the corners of her lips twitching up. “I’m—I’msorry.”

“It’s okay, I mean, life is really shitty right now, so that’snot okay, but it’s okay to be upset by everything and be a little vulnerable,”he says. “Of course, that’s almost just as scary as Thanos, probably, but I’dprobably be confused if you weren’t really upset about all of this, y’know?”

“You should be mad at me,” she protests.

“Uh, did you miss my whole spiel earlier? I was prettypissed, and even though I still am a little, I love you more than how much I’mmad for you, if that makes sense? Like, the love is trumping the anger. Anyway,I’m just glad you’re back, is what I’m trying to say, and I hope you’re notplanning on running away again, because then I’m just gonna sic the team on youwhen we get you back again, and they’re probably going to yell and swear more than me.”

“Even Groot?”

“Even Groot. Haven’t you heardthe mouth on him? We really should do something about his language.”

She wipes the last of her tears away with the back of herhand. “But who taught him those words, hm?”

“Rocket,” Peter insists. “Definitely not me.”

“Whatever you stay, Star-Lord.”

He smiles, pulling her in closer and pressing a kiss to herforehead. “In all seriousness, though, please don’t run away and go rogueagain.”

“I won’t,” she whispers, meeting his eyes.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

At that, he pulls her into a hug, just holding her. Shewraps her arms around his back, resting her face against his shoulder andclosing her eyes, inhaling his familiar scent. As worried as she still feelsover Thanos swooping in and taking them away from her, she feels a tranquilityshe hasn’t felt in weeks, feeling her heartbeat slow considerably. Thoughshe still believes protecting Peter and the others is the right thing to do,she knows she can’t bear to pull the disappearing act again. It’s not fair toany of them, even if staying endangers them a bit more.

A gentle knock, accompanied by a soft “I am Groot,” comes fromthe door. Peter looks up. “It’s open, Groot.”

As the door opens, Groot pokes his head in. He’s practicallyback to his original size now and hardly fits through doorways. He looksconcerned. “I am Groot?”

Gamora smiles. “I’m fine now, Groot,” she says, pulling awayfrom Peter enough to look at Groot. “Thank you for helping me and bringing me back.”

“I am Groot.”

“You think music will help cheer everyone up?” Peter echoes.Groot nods with a smile. “Great idea, buddy. Can you go ask Kraglin to hook upthe Zune to the Quadrant’s speakers? You can pick the song.”

Groot nods again, closing the door and walking away.

“Which song do you think he’ll choose?” Gamora asks, turningto Peter.

“Your guess is as good as mine.”

The answer comes about a minute later, when the first chordsof “Bring it on Home to Me” fill the room. Peter laughs as Gamora rolls hereyes, amused.

“I may have toldGroot about what happened on Ego’s planet,” Peter admits, shifting his hands totake one of hers and hold onto her hip. “Can I have this dance?”

Gamora wraps her arm around Peter’s back and gently squeezeshis hand. “You can.”

With that, they start swaying carefully, and Gamora breathesa sigh of relief. Her problems are far from solved now, but Peter’s wordsrestore the hope Thanos had managed to squash recently.

She can do this. Theycan do this.

send me a ship + a number from this **new** list of quotes I reblogged the other day (pls specify in your ask if it’s from the new list tho hehe)!!!

((also I’m sorry for the angst but it’s ok cuz the oneshot that takes place after this one ends happily…..sorta))