I understand Anon, and I am here for you. In these uncertain times we can all rely on the one constant that David will NEVER get rid of those atrocious shorts. 

I’ve gotten a few comments speculating that the hair is for his Phineas Fogg role in around the world in 80 days, which makes sense, his stylist probably just told him to let it keep growing and they would fix it when he got back. It’s easier to cut long hair than to add back hair that Georgia butchered. 

I’ve also gotten some people who are clearly not familiar with my oeuvre, questioning my judgement when it comes to the swoleness of DT’s pecs. And I want to assure everyone, that is not their usual state, as someone who has zoomed and cropped more than my fair share of DT’s various body parts over the years, I assure you his biceps are not typically like that. 

But look, making these tough controversial calls is what I do. And if being a thirsty train wreck on anonymous social media can bring any of us a sense of normalcy in this crazy world well... I’m honored to serve.

Yes, it is indeed dark times, my children have found the 50 pack of emergency goldfish I was hoarding for the corona endgame, and have gone feral, my cat has determined that his asshole + my face= Prozac and is doing his level best to be a contributing member of our quarencrew, my f*cking brother in-law thinks that if he doesn’t visit his elderly parents he might get “sick from stress”.

What the world really needs now is more of my sartorial bullshit incisive research & interpretation skills. So in the interest of the common good here you go.

Now one of the more alarming things happening in the world right now, at least for people like myself who are of a certain age, is that we are starting to see fashion trends we thought dead and buried clawing their way back into the public consciousness like a crop top wearing pack of zombies intent on defiling the asses of otherwise innocent young girls with high rise mom jeans. 

Seriously, my sweet summer children, step away from the tattoo choker, I dressed like the Spice Girls so that you don’t have to. 

Anyway, to understand this:

We have to travel back to circa 2003-2005 and the brief flicker of time when David John McDonald was somewhat cool. I mean, not so cool that he didn’t wear these shorts:

But still cool enough to hang in the vicinity of Billie Piper, who is actual cool. 

(It doesn’t rub off David, no matter how hard you try. Plus you’re wearing an Atari shirt sweetie.)

Anyway, these were what David, and many others of his generation would end up looking back on as their glory days. Back when he was only called Daddy in his dreams... and I don’t mean that in a kinky way, the dude is broody. 

So now that the fashion of the aughts is swinging back around like a bad case of pleather contracted athlete’s crotch, there’s two things a parent can do:

What David’s doing here is the latter, because let me tell you, there was a time when the man headband was pretty much the coolest most irreverant fashion item a Euro dude could sport. Trust me, my 2002 roommate was dating a German guy. 

David’s reaching back here, to a fashion trend he was absolutely not cool enough to sport during it’s first wave. Now whether the longer hair is a quarantine thing (Georgia, I love you, but I don’t think I’d trust you to cut my hair either.) or if he’s growing it out for a someday, eventual, light at the end of the tunnel, fucking hell when is this going to end for the love of god!!!! role, that I can’t say. It does all look like his actual hair tho. But rest assured the styling happening here, is David thinking he’s super cool.

Anyway, now that we’ve addressed the more obvious issue of the hair, I’d like to solicit the thoughts of my lovely followers on what I feel is the more pressing issue that has arisen from these photos:

Whhhhyyyy is he so swole? It’s like Dr Pepper shirt levels of pecatude going on there. The Beatles are holding on for dear life, that’s not what they meant by “we can work it out”!

Anyway, please send in your thoughts. Is he working out for some sort of buff long haired role? Has he been scraping the barrel on quarantine amusement? Has Georgia been so busy with homeschooling that he’s preening to get her attention? Has the lifting of the eighteenth toddler to spring from his loins finally given him some definition. Seriously David, I know the future of humanity looks bleak but you can’t singlehandedly repopulate the world with tiny blonde thespians, leave some babies for the rest of us. 

On a serious note, love to you all, stay home, stay safe, remember to lotion after the bazillionth time you wash your hands. Take time for self care, cry into your quarantini if you must (I am), and I’ll see you all on the other side, bullshit intact. 

Hello lovely, 

Active is such a relative term, but to your question, this is the best photo I could find:

And I believe this is the cap you mentioned?

It’s hard to tell but it looks like a fairly standard blue greek fisherman’s hat. And while it’s impossible to know for sure I’m just going to imagine he picked it up while on one of his many family holidays.

I also believe this is the same hat, or at least a very similar one (who am I kidding, this is the man who is still wearing the same “Hey, Ho, Let’s Go” shorts from 2005, it’s definitely the same hat):

He tends to wear goofy hat’s like these when he’s trying to pass as incognito which is why I have a personal vow that if I ever run into him randomly on the streets, this is fair game to approach:

This and I’ll respectfully let him go about his business:

And just to appease myself for the sacrifice I’ve decided that if I ever run into the very unlikely Tennant wearing this, all bets are off.

Wear a crown in public, get accosted by randy middle aged American women. thems the rules.

Anyway, I’ve gotten a bit off topic but I wanted to give you your money’s worth as I have been a little MIA lately. And just incase you were itching for a picture of a similar hat worn by the disembodied auton head of David Bowie here you go:

Look sometimes I find things while doing these google searches that I really wish I hadn’t seen ok?!

Anyway, much love,

TDTW