#love quotes – @thewordsyouneverunderstood on Tumblr

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@thewordsyouneverunderstood / thewordsyouneverunderstood.tumblr.com

love will come bac

thewordsyouneverunderstood

Love (at least for us) meant racing towards survival. In between it all, we forgot about why we were here in the first place. You started lying and I began seeing other people. We figured that what you don’t know can’t hurt you. When your picture perfect portrait of us fell to pieces I was the equivalent of devastated. When you heard I was seeing someone else you were angry. So we never tried to fix anything and did what we knew best. Denial. You lied to cover up the truth and I fell in love with someone who wasn’t you because what you had to give kept falling short of my expectations. What we did to each other was healing as well as we could, as best as we knew how to. So maybe we did unforgivable things to each other and you’re just as sorry as I am for the way in which we decided it was over. We should have put words to it instead, written it across an ocean, made that phone call. Love (at least for us) was more about the learning and less about the survival.

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thewordsyouneverunderstood

For a second, I picture us a still portrait where nothing's changed. You're the same person I first fell in love with and time isn't ticking here so the pressure to make things okay between us isn't really there. We take our time with it. Your doubt doesn't exist and neither do my insecurities. In this portrait of us, we never put distance between us and much less other people. You never fall in love with two people at the same time so I never have to learn about what it takes to forgive. I never let anger grow and you never fall asleep feeling unworthy. In another universe- I'm convinced we were meant to be together. And we got stuck here. In another universe we never stopped loving each other and we never grew tired of trying.

Still Portrait of Us / @thewordsyouneverunderstood

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thewordsyouneverunderstood

I call you up last night and it doesn't even sound like you anymore. It has nothing to do with your voice but the shit you're saying is so out of context. It doesn't take me more than 5 seconds in to realize that you're drunk. You kept saying some shit about how sorry you were that it didn't work out. Usually I'd laugh on any other given day but last night was different. They always say that drunk people are the most honest. I try to believe that there is sincerity in your heart in that moment. Except by the end of the call, you've already taken everything you said back. You're yelling on the phone about how much more I should have tried to salvage our relationship. And really, I tried. I'm not surprised that you didn't see the fight in me then so I don't bother wasting words that by tomorrow morning you will have forgotten. I even forget why I called in the first place. I tell you that I hope you find it in you to see things for what they really are and that's it. I hang up the phone and I delete your number because there isn't anything left for me to say anymore.

- Last nights phone call / @thewordsyouneverunderstood

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thewordsyouneverunderstood

It’s February. I wake up in the mornings and I sit up on the edge of my bed for five minutes. I give myself the time to think about you because I’m starting to think less and less of you each day and I can’t pretend that doesn’t terrify me. I know, I know you’ve been trying to forget it but I made a promise to you two years ago that no matter what happened, no matter what ending we got, that wherever my heart was, where my feet were I’d remember you and if that’s the only thing I can keep, well I will keep that promise. I’m not trying to make you feel guilt in case you thought that was the purpose for this, so go on darling, go on and forget all about me. As long as one of us remembers, that is enough, I’m never going to let that love die out, maybe I’ll allow it to take a different form but I’ll never forget it yet somehow, I am still hoping that next February I can do it differently, that’s crazy isn’t it? To want to hold on to love and yet wish to forget about it.

February // thewordsyouneverunderstood

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thewordsyouneverunderstood

This year I'm going to learn to love myself. I'm going to wake up in the mornings and I will be glad to be alive. I will smile at strangers on the street and when nobody tells me I'm beautiful, I will say it to myself and I will say it out loud. I will apologize to myself and on the bad days, I will hold myself until I fall asleep. I'm going to learn to love myself this year.

thewordsyouneverunderstood

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thewordsyouneverunderstood

If there is one thing I can promise you it is that the next time I think I’m in love, I’ll say it. I’ll say it out loud and my voice won’t shake. I won’t apologize for it and I won’t try to take it back. I’m not scared anymore, I haven’t been for a while now. You taught me everything there is to know about love, (If you love someone, you say it, you say it out loud, before they’re gone.)

For you pretty boy // thewordsyouneverunderstood

thewordsyouneverunderstood

We're not doing what I thought we were doing here- this isn't love because you only pick up your phone and dial my number when you feel alone and I deserve someone who thinks I can do much more than fill vacancies and voids. And I am tired. I am tired of having to be the one who waits for you to be sober enough to talk about it. So this is the last time you'll hear from me, because as much as I'm in love with you, there is no way in hell that you're the one but you could have been.

- thewordsyouneverunderstood

thewordsyouneverunderstood

The first time you try to make me feel something other than love, I am sixteen and we are sitting on the floor in your living room. You kiss me gently and you lay me down on you. I let it happen and I feel your hands running down my back. I shiver because I'm scared, because I want to say no but my voice is too quiet. Because I'm sixteen and because I'm naive. Because I'm sixteen and I think that if I love you, I owe you this much but it's not true. I don't owe you anything. I'll push you off of me and I won't say a single word. You'll sit up and look at me as I get dressed. You ask me to stay, but I tell you that I can't. I walk out the door and leave it open behind me. I say to myself, it he loves you he'll understand. If he loves you, he'll call again. You don't understand and you never call again. You don't forget and I don't either.

- Sixteen // thewordsyouneverunderstood

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thewordsyouneverunderstood

I really haven’t been able to write about you. I’ve tried to write about the way you left or the way you loved me but I come up with nothing. I think I’m starting to forget you or what it was like to be with you, to love you and I want to apologize for forgetting when I said I never would but I, too think that maybe it’s better this way, maybe it’s supposed to be this way. I want to say that it’s been much better without the thoughts of you in my head, without the emotional pushes and shoves that came along with you but sometimes, I miss feeling like there was somebody who loved me and was the same person I loved. It’s confusing really. I know that we’re better off this way and I know, that we both have something much more solid beneath our feet now but that doesn’t change the fact that you taught me how to keep my balance when everything beneath me was shaking, so thank you for that. Thank you for not always being kind, for loving me on the bad days and for letting me love you in return.

Letters // thewordsyouneverunderstood

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thewordsyouneverunderstood

I am still learning to love myself like you never did and it gets hard sometimes. I don't always know how to do it right. I broke my hand last week punching the wall. I was angry and frustrated that I still think of you sometimes. Today my mother was frustrated, she drove 80 miles per hour down a nearly empty street but not quite, I was scared and I dug my nails so deep into my skin that I bled. That's kind of what loving you was like. My mother looked over at me and told me that I haven't been myself in weeks now. I'm trying to find a way to tell her that I am still trying to grow into the things you couldn't love about me. I'm trying to find a way to tell her that I am trying to grow into the shadows you left behind. I'm trying to tell her that it's hard. But I came up with nothing other than, I still love him and I'm angry because I still don't know that I deserve better. I still don't know how to love myself mama-it takes time. Be patient.

-when your mother asks why you haven't been yourself in weeks // thewordsyouneverunderstood

thewordsyouneverunderstood

I argued with my mother last night. So I took her car, drove it 80 miles an hour down that empty road where you first told me you loved me. I need you on days like these, when nothing seems to be going right and I can't figure anything out, I need you. You make my life less complicated, you make me feel like it's okay to not have everything figured out. I don't know how to feel that way without you. I thought of driving to your house and telling you that I'm sorry, that I was wrong, that you have always been the one for me. I was halfway there when I remembered that she's moved in with you and she loves you as much as you love her which is a whole lot. So I took the next exit and drove all the way back home. I sat in the parking lot for two hours, trying to think of something that wasn't you but you were the only thing I could think of. I fell asleep with the thought of you in my head and I woke up with just the same.

- Last Night // thewordsyouneverunderstood

thewordsyouneverunderstood

I know you still think about me sometimes. I’m the only one you call when she’s angry at you because I know what it’s like. I’m the only one who knows what it’s like to be with you. You call me because you need a reminder that you’re not such a terrible person to be with, you need me to tell you that you're not hard to love but I can never stop telling you that you are. You are hard to love and you shouldn’t be ashamed of it. Not everyone in this world is going to love you like you need to be loved and not everyone is going to see you for who you are and that’s okay, don’t worry about it too much. I know exactly what it is to love you and I know that even on the days when it was hard, it never stopped being worth it.

when she argues with you, I’m the one you call // thewordsyouneverunderstood

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thewordsyouneverunderstood

Something in me still aches on the nights when I feel alone. I think it's still about you, I think that much hasn't changed. It's always been about you. I know that I don't love you but still there are days when I try to tell myself that I do because I miss you because I have convinced myself that the only people you miss are the ones you love but I know that's not true. I miss you and I don't love you. I haven't loved you for quite a while now, I think it's easier without you now that I don't love you. I don't feel you under my skin as often and it's not always that I try finding excuses to call you anymore. I won't call you, I don't need too. You are still the same person you were six months ago when I left you, except for now you're in love again, that's the only thing that's changed.

- thewordsyouneverunderstood

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thewordsyouneverunderstood

I haven't heard from you in three months now. I want you to know that I am still sorry. I know that you were made to be loved but I couldn't be the one to do it, I'm not brave enough for that. I understand why you're angry, but please, I hope that it has never been at yourself because you know you tried. I told you that I never wanted to see you again but I know now that, that's not true. I do want to see you again but I'm scared that it might be too late. I went by your house last night, your mother told me she hasn't heard from you in three months. She asked me who I was, and I told her I was just a really good friend, forgot to tell her that I was the only one you ever learned how to love without the bruises and without your hands around my neck. I wonder where you are and I wonder what you're doing and I wonder if you're happy. I hope you're happy. I hope you keep trying, I hope you don't give up on yourself because baby, you were meant to be something. Because baby, you are something.

- May // thewordsyouneverunderstood

thewordsyouneverunderstood

I know you are not the one for me and sometimes you still feel like my other half in spite of it. I saw you last night and we almost got hit by a car and you told me I was scared of everything. I laughed it off, the next street we crossed, you stopped me and looked both ways and I kept walking , told you I wasn’t scared anymore, told you that you’re the kind of person who makes me not care about things. Told you that ever since I met you, nothing scares me like you do. You laughed. We both laughed. I told you about the sunset and you told me I always talked about things you didn’t care about and then you took it back and apologized and I know you meant it. I just smiled at you and that was it. I know that you will never be right for me, I know that we could never make this work, I think somewhere in the back of your head you know it too but it’s okay, because you make me laugh and because you make me happy and because ten years from now, I’m going to remember you as the one person who was the best and worst of me and I won’t be so saddened that we couldn’t be together, instead I will learn to be happy for the little time we got. I swear one day, this will be enough.

True Stories of My Teenage Life // thewordsyouneverunderstood

thewordsyouneverunderstood

I can't keep loving you like this, not with open hands and a heart aching to hear you say that this is enough for you. I am tired of loving you like this, it is exhausting and I'm going to say this unabashedly, I cannot keep loving you, so it's going to end here. I want you to forget about the five times I called you last week and you didn't answer even once. I want you to forget that I told you I loved you that night. Delete the voicemails, forget my trembling voice and forget that I ever asked you to call me back as soon as you could. I need you to take everything that is yours and leave. I'm asking you too so don't apologize for it, instead apologize for forgetting to call me back, apologize for not loving yourself and for being scared to love something that wouldn't be the end of you. Just leave, just leave. Take everything that's yours. I don't mind being left empty handed. I too will forget you one day, I won't look back anymore. It'll be like I never really loved you at all.

- thewordsyouneverunderstood // for you, I'm sorry

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thewordsyouneverunderstood

It doesn't hurt like it used to. I've learned how to be without you and even now, I am still learning. There are still days when I want to call you and there are still days when I think about you and I know that I'll never be able to forget you and sometimes that makes me angry and frustrated and even sad because I have not been able to love anything with you still somewhere in the back of my head. I've tried to forget about it, I tried to ruin myself in hopes that I'd become someone who didn't know how to love you. I started smoking cigarettes and drinking three times a week because that was the only way I didn't have to think about you. I lost my mind over you, but things are better now. I went to a psychologist for a year after that and I finally know that there is nothing I could've done to make you stay, so I'm going to let it go tonight. I think I've had enough.

- thewordsyouneverunderstood

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