How messed up in the head are you really? Have you been abused to think such dark thoughts? My brother was SA'd as a child and he has the same obsessive nature about gore and killers and whatnot that I read in your stories and posts sometimes. Going as far as wanting characters from movies and cartoons he watches to be the victims when he plays video games or watches horror movies, like "wow his head split open, I wonder what goku would look like that"
No. I lived a normal(ish) childhood. I was never abused. I'm very sorry to hear that about your brother. I hope he's doing well now. But... I've always been like this. I've never hurt, abused, or even murdered animals. I just... always found crime shows cool and serial killers a neat concept. (I would never actually want someone innocent to die or suffer.) I don't really know why I'm like this. Though, I grew up on horror movies at an early age (3). I was always fascinated with the idea of someone being obsessive and murderous for the person they like. If you were to meet me in real life, you would never expect me to think the way I do. I get most of my inspiration from things I watch, things I read, and just overall a desire to make gruesome content. It satisfies my need for a dark scenario.
Also, I do have a sexual fantasy about being kidnapped, brought to a secluded forest, told to start running by a person in a mask (not gender specific), chased after, and then be forced to have sex when caught. But that's just me.
Overall, I'm just really fucked up for no reason. But I could never kill a person. Hell, I don't even like making bad decisions in video games. And I have sympathy for those who have been raped, tortured, abused, almost killed, were killed, and/or forced to do things they don't want to do. So, yeah. Just really messed up with no explanation why. And I think similarly. Imagining characters (not just ones from One Piece) in gruesome situations is just a thing that occurs daily.
I hope this answers your questions to the fullest. Again, I'm very sorry about what happened to your brother. I hope both of you are doing well and in great places in life, both physically and mentally. Have a wonderful day.